A/N: Again, the lyrics aren't mine. 'Someone kill the DJ'- by Greenday.
"Someone kill the DJ,
Shoot the fucking DJ,
Hold him underwater,
'Til the motherfucker drowns-"
"Ruby! Do you mind? Kind of trying to work here..."
"You're the one playing the music!"
"Uhuh, and when you learn to sing in time and/or in tune, you're welcome to come serenade me... Until then, please, oh please, quit murdering the song quite so loudly."
"Aw, you're no fun!"
"I'm the Sheriff, I'm not supposed to be fun."
"Ah, you're alright... At a pinch."
"Touching."
"What are you even doing?"
"Writing up the report for Miss Ginger's noise complaint."
"... Isn't she your neighbour?"
"And? What are you implying?"
"Nothing! Nothing... I thought you were doing the reports yesterday?"
"I started, but I got sidetracked."
"I see..."
Ruby muses quietly, and the blonde glances up at the waitress with a frown, watching as she swings herself lazily around on the swivel chair opposite the table. The brunette's teeth are bared in a wolfish grin and her eyes glitter with mischief.
"What's tickling you?"
"Nothing."
"Ruby..."
"You just seem to be getting 'sidetracked' a lot lately."
"Meaning?"
"That it's no wonder you keep complaining you're tired. I would be too if I was getting the amount you seem to be getting."
"Ruby!"
"What? I'm just saying... You know, it's probably the reason you passed out the other day. Too much of a good thing..."
"I already told you, I must've just had a funny spell or something."
"You did... That doesn't mean I can't think otherwise."
"Fine, think whatever you want, just shut up and keep it to yourself."
Emma looks back down at the job at hand irritably, tapping her pen distractedly against her teeth. Ruby sighs, but her eyes continue to shine with good humour; too used to the Sheriff's sometimes prickly ways to be thrown off quite so easily.
"You would think someone who got laid last night would be in a slightly better mood..."
She mutters, making no attempt whatsoever to do so under her breath.
"Oh, for fuck's sake! Will you let it go? How do you even-... You have no clue what I was doing last night!"
"Not specifically, no, and I'm cool with being spared any details, but I can recognise a cat that got the cream."
"You're so full of it."
"Am I? I ran into Mary Margaret last night as she was making her way upstairs with David Nolan to 'hang out' - yeah, I know, her story sucks - which means that you had the apartment to yourself, and I'm willing to bet you took full advantage of that fact... Tell me, Miss Swan, am I right?"
The Sheriff jumps at the waitress's use of her last name, causing the latter to giggle pleasantly. Rolling her eyes, Emma finally desists in her futile attempt to ignore the brunette and leans back in her chair, studying the younger woman with cool bemusement.
"Remind me to start locking the door to my office?"
She grumbles.
"You can't, you're the Sheriff, and shall I take that as a 'yes'?"
"Yes. Fine. Yes."
"I knew it!"
"Good for you."
Emma scowls, and Ruby laughs, wheeling herself closer to the desk so that she can rest her elbows on its surface as she leans in close to the Sheriff's face.
"So...?"
"So what?"
"Are you going to tell me?"
"Ruby, give it a rest."
"Aw, come on!"
The waitress pouts, jerking back with a laugh when the blonde flicks at her lip sharply with her finger. Smiling, she accepts defeat, deciding to cease her incessant probing before the Sheriff's mock irritation becomes the real thing.
"Ok, fine, I'll stop... Although, I don't know why you're being so damn secretive and grouchy about it if this person is making you happy."
"I guess I'm just a bitch?"
"Sorry, nope, don't buy it... Whatever. If you're happy, I'm happy."
"...Thanks."
"And without bugging you for any more details, did you at least have fun last night?"
"... Yeah. I did. It was good...I made dinner."
The blonde blushes, her eyes cast resolutely down at the paper in front of her as she ignores the waitress's crow of delight.
"I thought you said you were going to stop?"
She hisses.
"Ok, ok, I will. Actually, I better be going anyway, I need to start getting things set up for lunch."
"Good."
"Oh, stop it, you love having me around."
"So young, and so delusional."
"You're a terrible actress."
"And you're a terrible waitress; it's quarter-to-twelve!"
"Shit!"
It's Emma's turn to laugh as she watches the brunette stumble in her hurry to get out of her chair. Sitting back and pulling her hair into a messy knot, she studies Ruby with amusement as the younger woman wrestles with her coat.
"Just tell Granny you were helping me fight crime and serve justice."
"I doubt she'd be impressed; she'd rather I was serving customers."
"Odd... What with it being your job and all."
"I know, right!"
Finally wrapped up to face the winter chill, Ruby offers the Sheriff a small wave as she takes her leave. Debating the act briefly, she decides to throw all pretence out the window - taking solace from the fact that Emma will unlikely be able to catch her in her current position - and she grins cattily over her shoulder.
"By the way, should I tell the Mayor you like cinnamon on your hot chocolate next time she stops by and orders you one?"
"Huh?"
"I just think she should know if this is going to become a regular new aspect of your relationship."
"Wait, what?"
"Just something to think about, but I need to go! Bye!"
"Wait, Ruby, come back! Ruby!"
The blonde jumps out of her chair, smacking her leg painfully against the desk, and hurries after the waitress as the younger woman bolts from the station. Panting as she reaches the main door, Emma yells after her; Ruby turning round and jogging backwards to reply.
"Ruby! What the hell are you on about?"
"I think you know!"
"No, I don't know! Enlighten me!"
"I think you're nuts, Emma!"
"What? Ruby!"
"But like I said, if you're happy, I'm happy!"
"Ruby, wait! Please!"
"Can't! I'm late for work! Later!"
"Ruby!"
Eyes wide as the younger woman disappears from view with a final wave of her hand, the Sheriff falls back against the door with a groan, shaking her head in disbelief. Massaging her temples distractedly, she tries to remain calm.
She has no clue how the waitress has come to possess her apparent knowledge and finds herself in somewhat of a moral dilemma. She likes Ruby a lot - an awful lot, truth be told - but trust is not something she comes by easily, and in spite of their friendship, she can't quite settle the fear creeping nauseatingly in the pit of her stomach that the younger woman will let something slip. She doesn't believe it would be a malicious action, and she reassures herself with the knowledge that the waitress has - to her knowledge - kept silent about finding her locked in her own damn cellblock, but she struggles to shake her concerns all the same.
"How the fuck did you figure that one out...?"
Stalking stiffly back into the Station, she enters the kitchen and makes herself a cup of coffee, sighing as she wishes vehemently for something stronger.
"Regina..."
The Mayor turns briskly outside of Granny's; searching for the source of the voice calling her name. Frowning, her gaze meets that of the old pawnbroker who sits at one of the tables outside nursing a steaming mug of tea.
"Gold."
Making her way over, she takes a seat opposite him, raising an eyebrow in a silent request that he make his reason for hailing her over to the table known.
"You're looking well."
He muses silkily.
"...Thank you."
"Must have slept soundly the last few nights?"
"No more or less so than usual... What do you want, Gold?"
"Oh, I was just mulling something over in my mind and thought you might be able to help me."
"Oh?"
"It pertains to our dear Sheriff."
"What about her?"
"She and I had a most peculiar conversation the other day. Did she tell you?"
"Why would Miss Swan tell me such a thing?"
"Oh, I don't know, I just wondered if it had come up in passing."
"I try to refrain from spending any more time with the Sheriff than is absolutely necessary."
"A wise choice. And yet... That isn't strictly true now, is it, dearie?"
"I can assure you it is."
"Curious then, that the young Sheriff's car should be parked outside your house in the middle of the night..."
"Not really. It isn't my fault the idiot mistook a game played - albeit foolishly - by my son as a genuine distress call. Believe me, Miss Swan isn't someone I take pleasure in conversing with during working hours, so to have to put up with her coming round to my own home was most unfavourable."
"If you say so. I must say, I am surprised to see the young woman looking so well..."
"Is she?"
"Oh yes. She's quite the pretty thing, as I'm sure you'd agree."
"Hardly."
"And she was looking nothing short of radiant when I saw her last... Of course, her determination to greet the day with a scowl detracted from the matter somewhat, but yes, on the whole, I'd say she looked very well."
"Fabulous, and you're telling me this because?"
"Oh, for no reason, dearie, I was just confessing my surprise... Following our altercation in your office the other day, well... I had just assumed the young Sheriff might have subsequently found herself in a spot of bother."
"You were responsible for those papers, Gold, not Emma."
Regina hisses.
"Perhaps... Still, I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little surprised by your reaction to her innocence. Whether she requested those papers or not, I was under the impression you viewed the Sheriff with unwavering contempt, and yet... You seemed almost concerned upon finding her blameless."
"If that's your perception."
"It is... Although, I suppose in your eyes, Miss Swan could hardly be considered blameless in any respect."
"Yes, well, my opinion of the woman is my own."
"Indeed."
The pawnbroker agrees quietly, and the brunette frowns as Gold studies her with glittering eyes; the air thick with a sense of malice and her breath seeming to hitch every now and then in her throat. She's wary of where this conversation might be headed, unsure exactly as to the little man's motives, but certain that they are surely twisted.
She glances up distractedly when Ruby trots outside to clear tables in her ridiculous heels, her eyes shining with unkind amusement at the way the younger woman's bare legs are tinged almost blue with cold.
What on earth does Emma see in you...?
Returning her gaze to the pawnbroker, she fusses with her hair, her lips pursed with distaste.
"Did you actually want anything, Gold, or do you honestly believe that I enjoy such chitchat?"
"Oh, I don't want anything. Not from you, anyway."
"What do you mean, not from me?"
"Well, it's not you that I have a deal with now, is it?"
"What deal?"
"Oh, nothing that concerns you, dearie. The Sheriff merely owes me a favour. I suppose I was pondering over this fact and got sidetracked."
"... Emma owes you a favour?"
"Indeed."
"And, what might that be?"
"Oh, I'll think of something when the time's right. Nothing to worry yourself about."
"Forgive me, but your favours are not generally something to be taken lightly."
"Why, whatever are you referring to, Madame Mayor?"
"...Nothing."
Nodding, the peculiar little man takes a sip of his tea as he continues to watch the Mayor raptly. Regina frowns, disturbed at the knowledge that the blonde has at some point managed to indebt herself to the landlord.
"You seem troubled?"
Gold smiles.
"No. Just confused as to why you're telling me all this."
"No reason... Just letting my words get away from me, it would seem. I suppose I wanted to let you know how things stood, as I had mistaken your recent behaviour as strangely favourable towards Miss Swan. One is sure to jump to conclusions when they find out about such late-night visits, after all."
"... I have no interest in the woman, nor in whatever trouble she's found herself in with yourself-"
"-Because if you were to find yourself ill at ease with the fact the young Sheriff was foolish enough to make a deal with me, I would find myself beginning to wonder if perhaps you harboured a small amount of care for her."
"I-"
"-And if that were the case, I would also wonder just what you would be willing to offer me to relieve the Sheriff of her burden..."
The brunette shrinks back with a grimace of distaste as the pawnbroker leans conspiringly in towards her, his curiously dry scent assaulting her senses.
"Your business with Miss Swan is your own. I have no interest in the Sheriff's wellbeing."
She insists.
"I don't believe you..."
"Then you're a fool."
"And you're a liar."
"How dare you?"
"Do you think I'm blind to how things have changed? Do you think I would be telling you all this if I simply wanted someone to talk to? You care for the woman, and that puts me in a very advantageous position, Madame Mayor."
"You're insane."
"Her car was at your house. And, I don't believe for a second that our fine Sheriff was there on a distress call. I-"
"-Can I get you anything else?"
Gold glances up furiously at Ruby who has come to stand beside their table with her pen and paper at the ready. Shooing her away with a flick of his hand, he returns his attention to the Mayor. Regina glares at the young brunette as she remains stood where she is, raising a brow irritably.
"Miss Lucas? Is something wrong?"
"No, not at all, Madame Mayor, I'm just glad you're ok."
"Why on earth wouldn't I be?"
"I thought you were in trouble the other night? Emma and I were out by the station when she received a call on the police radio to come to yours right away. I trust it wasn't anything serious?"
"She received a call on the police radio?"
Gold inquires with a frown; studying the waitress and thus missing the Mayor's own perplexed expression.
"Well, yeah... She figured it must have been something pretty serious, or you wouldn't be calling her... Given how you guys have this problem with each other... No offence..."
"None taken... Everything's fine. Henry called her as a joke... It seems he didn't realise how irresponsible it was to do so on her police radio."
Regina replies in a clipped tone, and Ruby smiles, expressing that she's glad all is well before heading back inside. Glaring back at the pawnbroker who sits with his brow furrowed as he ruminates over the waitress's words, the Mayor takes her leave; snapping at him that he can mind his own business the next time he conjures up any fanciful ideas of friendship.
Stalking into the diner, Regina spots Ruby up at the counter and makes her way over.
"Why did you do that?"
"Do what?"
"You weren't with the Sheriff. She doesn't even use her radio."
"Yeah, but Mr Gold doesn't know that."
The waitress shrugs, and the Mayor frowns as she studies Ruby intently, trying to grasp an understanding of her current situation.
"Why lie to him?"
"I wasn't the only one lying..."
The younger woman points out pleasantly.
"What are you insinuating?"
"Nothing... Look, Emma's my friend, and you're her-... I just don't trust Gold."
"But you're trusting me?"
Low. Incredulous. No pretence at feigned civility.
"I'm trusting Emma."
Ruby corrects as she offers the brunette a nod of farewell and disappears into the back, leaving the Mayor staring after her, stunned.