Didn't think I'll be back so soon right?

Well I have the most awful cold and I've been on bed all day feeling sorry for myself so I decided to cheer myself up a bit by posting a new chapter, this is possible thanks to my awsome beta Lorena for being so suportive and not abandoning me even when I throw her more than one chapter at once.

Thaks a lot to everyone reading, I'm so glad you like the story.

Love you all and please please leave a review.

"Children and mothers never truly part, bound together by the beating of one another's heart."

Charlotte Gray

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The place didn't look like a hospital, not that I had expected it to but a part of me wondered. It was in a very exclusive part of Los Angeles and it was formed with endless acres, the house was situated right in the middle of land. The house was completely white with red roof tiles; it had three floors and many rooms. The third floor was where the operating room and the infirmary were, we all had weekly checkups in there and we were also forced to attend mass three times a week in the small church that was also located on the property.

During the time I spent there a total of twenty-eight girls were also there, the youngest one was a red head girl who was fourteen and the oldest was a Jewish girl who had just turned eighteen. There was also a sixteen-year-old girl who suffered from a mild learning disability, she was a nice girl but everyone said she was a retard. She had been raped and that was the reason she was here and even though she was always so kind to everyone, not everybody treated her right. I remember looking at her and thinking how unfair it was, the world was mean to her because she was different, because she didn't fit the standards people had and every time I looked at her I thought back to Damon and Stefan and how the world had been mean to them as well because of the differences they portrayed. My roommate and I used to spend time with her since nobody else would and up until this day I still wonder what she came to be, I hope she is happy and in a nice place.

My roommate was a nice bubbly blonde girl named Caroline. She was three months younger than me and her pregnancy was ahead of mine by two months. Her belly was already showing and she used to pet it lovingly all the time. Even though I had entered that place with the resolution not to speak to anybody she had cracked my shield on the first day and we had bonded immediately. We weren't allowed to say our last names or where we came from, nor could we talk about the father of our babies and our lives back home but Caroline and I didn't care, we told each other pretty much everything. I told Caroline my story but never mentioned Damon's name, she told me the name of her child's father and even showed me a picture. He was the most handsome man she had ever seen she said, he was a teacher and had the most beautiful accent she ever heard; he was British and was also married as well as a father, which was why Caroline's baby could never be known of. She loved him still, even after he turned his back on her and that was something I could relate to.

The first few weeks were incredibly hard. I cried silently at night while thinking about Damon and all that waited for me in this place. I can still remember the sense of shame they made me feel... They used to tell us we were here because we had committed the ultimate sin, you were a burden to your family and you deserved all the pain you were suffering. The nuns look at you with disdain and barely say a word to you, in every mass we had to sit and listen to how incredibly bad the sins we had committed were and that we have to pray very hard to save our souls from eternal doom. When I first found out about my pregnancy, when I told Damon about it I was scared but not ashamed, how could I feel ashamed of something so pure and precious? Something we both had created. But once I was in Stella Marie's I couldn't help but think that maybe they were right, maybe I had sinned and that was why I was being punished. I realize now how incredibly stupid all that was but at the moment you could no nothing but sit there and listen to how you disgraced your very own family.

But they weren't all bad. There was a young nun of around twenty-five whose name was Evelyn, she was always kind to us, never saying anything about how we were the worst of society, but instead telling us what we could expect from the delivery and what happened once your baby was born, she taught us how to sew and used to have reading hours with us. She was one of the kindest souls I met back then and the only one who supported me when the time came.

Besides her no one else talked about our pregnancies, we went to the infirmary once a week; we peed in a cup and received the normal checkups but nothing else, no one would tell us anything. What was the point? We were girls who were going to deliver a baby and then give it away, what else was there we needed to know? It was better to keep us in the dark and not to think about pregnancies at all, like if that was easy.

"Oh my God when is this going to stop?" Caroline whined as she dropped herself on the bed and covered her face with a pillow "She's been at it for hours"

Linda, a nice sixteen year old Italian girl was having her baby on the upstairs floor and the screams could be heard all over the below floors.

"God can't they do something to help her?" I asked "Is it normal for it to take that long?" It had been midnight when the screams started and the moon was already hiding in the sky.

"They can sedate her and make her sleep but they never do, just in extreme cases and only until the last moment" Caroline said in a soft whisper "I'm scared" She admitted while looking at me.

"Me too" I whispered back as I rubbed my belly. I had been here for two months already and my belly was already showing, I rubbed it softly while smiling. I thought briefly that I couldn't wait to know if it was a boy or a girl and then the smile faded as quickly as it came, because it didn't matter what it was, I was not going to keep it.

"Time is coming" Caroline said, oblivious to my thoughts. I looked at her and watched her staring at her belly. She was nearing the seven months and knew her time was coming closer. I didn't want the day to arrive because then she would be gone and I would be left alone, with no one to confide in once again. "Do you think they'll let me hold her?" She asked

"Her?"

"I think it's a girl" She said with a smile

"I don't know" I answered honestly.

We both stayed in silence for a few seconds until an ear piercing scream resonated throughout the whole house, Caroline was up in a minute taking the rosary she kept in her bed and stood in front of the window, moving her fingers through the beds and praying silently. I stood up next to her and we stayed there until mid-morning when the screams from Linda stopped.

We later found out that once your baby was born you could decide whether to see it or not. You would spend five days at the clinic and then you would disappear, back to your old life, as if nothing happened.

Linda chose not to see her baby and we never knew if it was a girl or a boy, she knew of course but didn't tell us a thing. She was always such a high spirited girl, a lot like Caroline, but on the day she came to say goodbye there was nothing about that girl in her. Her eyes were red and there were dark circles underneath them, and even though she tried to smile when she said goodbye her smile didn't reach her eyes, something inside her had died in that operating room.

That was my first goodbye in Stella Marie, we all watched through the windows as she disappeared behind the bars and walked back to the life that was awaiting her. There was a deep sense of loss after she left, it wasn't like we had anything in common besides the bittersweet taste this place would leave us, but something about seeing her go with that dead look in her eyes left us all feeling somber because we all knew what was coming for us, we all knew that at the end of our stay here we would have to leave our child behind.

After Linda's departure I became more sociable, I no longer talked only to Caroline but to some of the other girls too. I never told any of them beside my roommate what happened with Damon and I but I did hear of their stories. Endless tales about Caroline and her teacher, about Mia and the guy from the drugstore; about Mary and her mom's dentist and Cookie and her next door neighbor. Endless stories of different women, here there were only twenty-eight of them but can you imagine how many more there were out there? Twenty eight woman and sadly they all had a ghost baby.

That's what Caroline had said the first time I talked to her "Welcome to the town of ghost babies"

"Do you think you'll ever see him again?" Caroline asked in a soft voice. We were sitting cross legged, across from each other on our own beds as we devoured a box of donuts my father had sent. Under no circumstances could we abandon the house or receive a call without supervision, but our family could come and visit and send us gifts.

My family never came but my dad used to send a box of my favorites donuts every week, Caroline and I used to end up with them alone, but now that I was being more friendly with the other girls we made sure to give some of them away too.

"I don't know. I don't think so" I answered truthfully "What about you?

"No, no I won't" She said and I saw a lonely tear escape her eye

"Are you alright?" I asked

"I sneaked into the main office" She admitted while dropping her donut on her knee, she leaned back and rubbed her round belly, she was getting bigger by the minute. "I called him, I wanted to hear him say he missed me… I wanted" She stopped talking and took a deep breath

"What happened?" I asked in a small voice

"He said I should never call him again. He can't have his wife knowing about the baby" She shook her head and smiled without a trace of happiness "A part of me hoped that with me being away… that he would miss me, that he would want us to be a part of his life" She touched her belly once again "That I wouldn't have to give it away" Her voice broke down and I stood up to move to her side immediately

"I'm sorry" I said while hugging her and resting my head on her shoulder

"I don't know what I was thinking" She said bitterly "He was an idiot; he was always an idiot" She stated "But your story is different Elena"

I laughed sardonically "How is it different? My boyfriend took the money my parents gave him to leave me, if you ask me that is worst" I said, I climbed completely onto the bed and pressed my back against the headboard

"I don't think that was the reason why he didn't show up" She said "I believe he loves you"

"And I believe you're a hopeless romantic" I answered while rolling my eyes and taking another bit of my donut "He left me, he took the money and left, that's what happened" I said, sounding a bit angrier than I intended to.

"Well I don't know" She said while looking at me with tenderness "But I do know you'll see him again someday" She said with a small smile "I have faith you will" She said while staring at the rosary that was resting on her bedside table

"You are the most positive person I've ever met" I said with a small smile. Part of me was hoping that what she was saying could be true, that Damon hadn't left with the money and that he would burst through Stella Marie's door any second to take me and our baby away. Foolish thoughts I realize now.

"Just please don't ever do anything to hurt yourself again" Caroline said while gripping my knee softly. I looked down, ashamed to remember what I had done with those aspirins a few months ago, of how I didn't think of my baby and what that could have caused it "Besides…it's a mortal sin and you know how I feel about it" She said with a chuckle before getting up and heading towards the bathroom.

I remember watching her go and thinking then that never in a million years did I expect to make such a good friend at that horrible place.

I leaned down on the bed and rubbed my now prominent belly, I hummed a soft lullaby and as I felt it move a big smile appeared on my lips "I hope you're a girl" I whispered softly "He wanted a girl" I got chocked up at my own words "And I hope you have his eyes"

I cried myself to sleep that night, silently not letting Caroline know. I cried myself to sleep and for the first time in a long time I prayed, I didn't truly believe in God, nor had I been much of a catholic before, but Caroline's faith inspired me and somehow I knew that I needed to hold onto someone if I wanted to be warm at night. So I prayed, I prayed for something to happen and release me from these chains they had put around me.