Hey there!

You have oficially arrived to the present part of the story, we're going to have a little bit of change in the writting because now we will be seeing things in a third person pov, or at least that's what i'm trying to achieve. I want to thank everyone who is still reading this story, you mean the world to me and also i want to thank my beta Lorena for being always awsome with me.

And Merry belated Christmas everyone! I hope you all had an amazing time with your loved ones and I hope you're preparing for a wonderful New Year, I'm so thankful for having your support and love through this year and I wish we can continue getting to know each other in the new year coming.

Enough with my rambling,

Enjoy

It's not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person and makes you believe it's all true
And now I've got you
And you're not what I asked for
If I'm honest I know I would give it all back for a chance to start over
And rewrite an ending or two for the girl that I knew

-Sara Bareilles-

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Elena Gilbert closed the door of her small apartment and was overwhelmed with the quietness she found. It was around three am and even though outside the city was still buzzing with life there was nothing but silence in the space she liked to call home.

After leaving Stella Marie without her baby in her arms Elena came back to Mystic Falls with her parents but things could never be the same way again. Her mother expected her to take on the role she had before leaving but that wasn't possible anymore, Elena had changed too much and could never be the same again. She got herself a job and worked her ass off for a few months until she could gather enough money to move out, in that time she was like a ghost in her own home, she couldn't even look at them and she sure as hell wouldn't say a single word to her mother.

Elena dropped her bag on the floor next to the couch and walked towards her bedroom while undoing the chignon she had on her head. Her feet were aching but some of the adrenaline of the night was still running through her veins.

After she had enough money she bought a ticket to New York and rented a small studio apartment in the ugliest part of the city, she didn't care, she only wanted to be separated from her parents, she couldn't bear to breathe in the same space as them.

Things were rough the first few months; she worked inhumane hours as a waitress in a little diner while auditioning for every single play she could find. The city was big and lousy and nothing at all like the little quiet town she was used to. On those nights when she arrived to her awful apartment she would lay down on her tiny bed and cry for hours, she cried for her daughter and cried because her life was nothing like she had planned.

Elena started filling the tub and added some salts to make it relaxing, it had been a stressful day and she needed the time for herself more than any other day. She undressed slowly as the tub filled up and went to the sink to brush her teeth. In the mirror her reflection stared back at her with tired sad eyes, she had been feeling very depressed and she couldn't figure out why.

After what seemed interminable months of living the most depressing life in New York things started working out. Elena got herself a part as a backup dancer in a small Broadway play and just like that her life started getting better. She didn't want to be a star, didn't want to be the lead in anything, that dream had died a long time ago in the parking lot of a dance school in Mystic Falls. At the moment she just wanted to do what she loved and have enough money to survive. And so she finally became a professional dancer, always in the back but with a heart finally feeling at peace and starting to heal.

Elena submerged herself slowly in the tub and shuddered at the hot temperature of the water. It was good for her aching muscles, she had been rehearsing since early in the afternoon for a new show and her body was aching everywhere. She threw her head back on the edge of the tub and closed her eyes.

Caroline and Elena kept in touch after the brunette came out of Stella Marie so when she called the summer of 1966 and told her she was moving to New York with little Lizzie Elena couldn't be happier. By that time Elena was already living in another building in a much better zone and she got her friend a nice deal on one of the apartments in the same floor she was, a place where they both still lived to this day.

Caroline had gone back to school with the help from her parents and became a teacher so now she could afford to live on her own with her little one. She never heard of Lizzie's father ever again and was more than happy for it, with time she realized he was a man who didn't deserve to have an angel like Lizzie in his life.

Elena's life became brighter the day her friend moved, she had been so alone for so long that their arrival came to fill the space she had in her heart, especially little Lizzie. Elena adored the little girl and loved to spend time with her, Caroline always looked at her with sad eyes whenever she saw her with Lizzie, she remembered that awful place and what Elena had been forced to abandon there.

Elena stepped out of the tub and dried herself with a fluffy towel; she changed into her pajamas and headed towards her bedroom once again. She was feeling more tired than usual and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and fall asleep but something was pulling at the strings of her heart and made her go into the closet first. She dug into a pile of clothes and pulled out a small wooden box.

Elena tried to live her life as if nothing had happened, she woke up every day with the determination to change things, she dated trying to find a guy who could make her feel like she used to but it never worked, he still remained the only man in her life and perhaps he would be forever. She tried to do things like it was expected of her but she couldn't. She couldn't forget his blue eyes, she couldn't forget that house, she couldn't forget the feel of her daughter in her arms.

It would be like nothing ever happened. Father Moore had told her the day she gave up her child. How wrong he had been, because it had happened and it left her with a hole so big no amount of success or money could fill it.

Elena took the small box and went to her big plush bed; she climbed on it and went underneath the covers, the room suddenly turning chillier than before. She opened the box and pulled a small bracelet that read "Female. Gilbert. December 14, 1960. 2:40 PM" she took that from her daughter's small wrist the day she gave her away, she wanted to have something to remind her of her, something to let her know it was real and that her daughter was somewhere out there.

That even though her baby wasn't with her she was a mother and nothing was going to be able to take that from her.

Elena kissed the bracelet as the tears started to flow, she would let herself break down for just one night, one night to remember and to mourn everything she lost almost ten years ago.

Elena was moving around the kitchen while Lizzie sat on the high counter of the kitchen. Caroline was having a date tonight so that meant it was Elena's time to babysit, an activity that brought an immense pleasure to her.

"I have a question" The nine year old girl asked

"Alright" Elena asked while stirring the sauce on the stove

"Is that Liam guy your boyfriend?" Lizzie asked while scrunching her nose up and Elena had to hide her laugh at the girl's expression

"No he's not. We're just friends" Elena answered. Liam was a sweet boy who worked with them in the play they were presenting; he was a dancer like her and had had a crush on Elena for as long as she could remember. She agreed to go out with him in one or two occasions but she could never feel anything towards him more than friendship so she let him know it was never going to be like that for them.

"That's good because I don't like him" Lizzie said petulantly and Elena could do nothing but laugh

"Oh God, you're so much like your mom it's creepy" Elena said while the girl grinned widely

"Auntie Ellie what are we doing today?" Lizzie asked as she swung her legs while sitting on the high counter on Elena's kitchen. She had started calling Elena that when she was two and still couldn't say her full name so the nickname had stuck and now even Caroline called her that.

"We are making cookies and eating them all while I read stories to you" The brunette answered before pressing a swift kiss onto the little girl's nose

"Yay!" She said while throwing her hands in the air

"Don't get your aunt too tired Lizzie" Caroline said with a chuckle while entering the kitchen "How do I look?" She asked Elena while twirling around. The blonde was wearing a bright fuchsia knee length dress with long sleeves and a thick belt around the waist.

"You look really pretty mommy" Lizzie answered with a deep smile

"I agree with the girl, you look fantastic"

"I'm really excited" The blonde girl said while clapping her hands

"I hope he is cute" Lizzie said "Not like Auntie Ellie's boyfriend"

"Hey! We agreed he's not my boyfriend" Elena laughed while bumping Lizzie's shoulder playfully

Caroline raised an eye brow and directed herself to her daughter "Sweetheart why don't you go grab aunt Ellie's cookbook"

The little girl jumped off the counter and ran towards the bedroom where all of her cooking books were stashed. The blonde girl moved closer to her best friend "I'm so nervous" She said

"You'll do great Caroline, it's not like it's your first date with this guy" Elena placed a hand on her friend's shoulder trying to reassure her "By the way I still don't know his name but I already know you're totally smitten with him darling"

"It's just, I never thought it could work" Caroline dropped herself onto one of the chairs "There's not a lot of men who would agree to date a single mom" The blonde girl placed a hand on the table and rested her chin on there "And I thought that once he found out he was going to run for the hills"

Elena nodded, completely understanding what Caroline was saying, things were starting to change but life was still difficult for women like Caroline who had to raise a child on their own.

"And you know what he said? He said he always wanted a big family and that Lizzie and I could be part of it too" The blonde girl smiled and her eyes shinned with love. Elena felt happy for her friend and hoped that this guy would be the one "I've never felt this way Ellie, not since… and we all know how that ended"

"But this guy isn't Nikklaus" Elena reminded her

"No he's not" Caroline smiled "He couldn't be more different. God I still don't know what I saw in that asshole"

"You were young and impressionable" Elena told her

"Maybe and honestly he was a total cutie too"

Both girls broke down in laughs and Elena felt glad that she and her friend could laugh now about that dark moment in the blonde's past, something she still couldn't do about her past with Damon.

"I can wait for you to meet him"

"I can wait to meet him"

"Oh in fact" Caroline's eyes shinned with mischief "He told me his brother is coming next week and that's he's a total grump so he wanted to get him out and have fun"

"Caroline…" Elena said in a warning tone

"So I told him we could go to your show together and then have some food and drinks" Elena started to talk but her friend interrupted her "I even spoke with Mrs. Flowers and she agreed to babysit Lizzie"

"Yeah so you can go out with your dream boy while I get stuck with grumpy all night" Elena rolled her eyes at her friend "You know how I feel about dating Care"

"I know babe, but it's time you start living your life again" Caroline told her "You need to start dating again"

"I agree" Lizzie said while walking into the room with the book they asked her for "With someone who isn't Liam"

"You really don't like him" Elena said with a half-smile

"He has a funny face" Lizzie said while scrunching her nose up again.

Elena and Caroline laughed again; the blonde girl gave her daughter a hug and a kiss on the cheek before going towards her best friend "Wish me luck" She whispered

"You don't need it" Elena answered back and smacked her jokingly in the arm before directing her towards the door "Go find your prince charming Cinderella" The brunette girl closed the door and turned around to stare at Lizzie "it seems it's only you and me now kid"

They stayed up late baking cookies and other desserts, then they stuffed themselves with food and watched a bit of TV and just before they went to bed Lizzie asked Elena for stories, the little girl always enjoyed to hear what new things the brunette girl could come up with.

Once Lizzie was fast asleep Elena covered her with the comforter and placed a kiss on her forehead as a single tear rolled down her cheeks. Every time she spent time like this with the girl she couldn't help but think of her own daughter and prayed to God that someone was taking care of her and being as loving as she was being with Lizzie.

She prayed every night and asked for God to forgive her.

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She is messy but she's kind, she is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine