Author's note: Thank you all for reading. I hope you continue to be entertained by this story. This chapter is pretty angsty. A lot of roller coaster emotions here with Annie and Peeta. And things start to get more heated and complicated for them from here on out.
Much thanks to my beta LavenderVanilla for helping me iron out the rough spots. You guys seriously need to be reading her stuff if you haven't already.
Happy reading!
Chapter Three
Peeta walked into the house through the kitchen and called, "Annie?"
"In the parlor with Johanna." Annie called back.
He sat his empty box just inside the door, put a wrapped package on the table, and picked up a tea cup from the cabinet. "You got tea in there?" He asked.
"Yes." Annie's voice was soft. She went back to the conversation she was having with Johanna. He could hear the murmur, but not the words.
Peeta walked into the front room and smiled at the pair. He poured himself a cup of tea and sat down. "I have news." He announced as he took a sip.
"News?" Annie asked, leaning closer.
"I finally got in touch with someone about the fish market." He said happily. "I can set up a stall outside. I just have to provide all the materials." He sat back and sipped his tea. "I'm sure we can find materials around here. The distillery has plenty of wood."
Annie's eyes grew distant. "The whiskey barrels will be useful."
"I wasn't talking about the barrels, Annie." He said gently. "I was talking about everything else around them. Your grandfather made a lot of those barrels. I don't want to cut them up."
"We don't have to tear them up all the way." Annie pointed out. "You need places to display the bread. They could be tables."
"Annie…" Peeta looked toward Johanna and then back to his wife. "We'll discuss it later."
Johanna looked between the pair and stood. "Thank you for tea, Annie. I'll be around in a day or two."
Annie followed Johanna to the door and closed it behind her. She turned. "You can use the barrels, Peeta. They'll just sit there and rot otherwise."
He nodded and watched her as she paced the room.
She sat down on the sofa and placed her hand on his knee. "Thank you for trying to help, but it would help more if we could continue to live our lives. Use the barrels and any other wood in his distillery. I'll help. And until we can build an actual bakery, it's the best we have." She squeezed his knee gently and sat back, retrieving her tea once more.
He watched her for several breaths, sipping his tea. He said, "Thank you. I didn't want to come and take over your life."
She shrugged. "I had nothing else, Peeta. It's fine. I like our life together as it is." She stared into her cup. Peeta could see the guilt written on her face.
"I like making you happy, Annie. And if this will make you happy…"
She looked up, a slow, nervous smile growing on her lips. "I will be if you are."
"I am. As much as I can be." He stood. "I brought home some red snapper for supper."
"I'll cook it." She walked into the kitchen and he followed. "You should go draw something."
"What if I draw you?" He stood in the doorway.
With a smile, Annie nodded. "I'd like that."
Peeta picked up his drawing pad and his pencils from his room and then returned to the kitchen. Annie worked quietly. He drew her from behind. Her hair fell loosely down her back, ending in curls about mid-way. He spent a lot of time on her hair, just as he'd spent many afternoons in the meadow with Katniss drawing hers. Katniss's hair was mostly straight, but had waves when freshly removed from her braid.
Peeta realized as he finished the drawing that he had drawn a memory of Katniss's form with Annie's hair. He crumpled up the paper into a tight ball and let out an exasperated sigh.
Annie turned. "What is it?"
"Nothing." He said as he started drawing again, his head leaning on his other hand. "I just messed up."
She picked up the paper ball and flattened it. "This looks fine."
"Your hips are a little narrower." He commented. "And your breasts are..." He trailed off, not wanting Annie to know he'd been looking at her breasts any more than he wanted to admit he was thinking about Katniss again.
"Oh." She sat the paper down and went back to the meal.
"I didn't…" He stood and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I like you, I do." I just love Katniss. He added in his mind.
She shrugged off his hand. "It doesn't matter." She added some rice to the water she'd put on and stared at it silently.
"But it does matter." He put his hand on her shoulder again. "I'm married to you." He was determined to make life comfortable for Annie, even if it meant his own discomfort.
She nodded, the rest of her body starting to tremble.
He stepped closer and asked gently, "Want me to finish that?"
She shook her head and turned to look into his face. "I promise that I don't hate you."
He cupped her cheek, his other arm coming up to wrap around her waist. "I know."
She leaned her head into his touch and raised her hands to his chest. For a moment, he thought she'd push him away. Instead, she grasped his shirt tightly in her hands and pulled him closer. "Why are you so sweet to me, Peeta?"
"Because you're all I have now, Annie." He said almost desperately before he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.
She shook her head and pulled away slightly. "You only kiss me when you leave."
He leaned his head close to hers again and whispered, "I want to kiss you when I come back, too. And I didn't get to earlier."
"Peeta, please… Katniss…" She sighed and stepped away, pulling pans off the stove to finish assembling their meal. Her hands trembled with her growing emotions.
Peeta stepped close to her and removed her hands from the pot. "I'm never going to see Katniss again."
"You don't know that, Peeta." She placed her hand on the side of his face. "We can never give up hope."
"But you have. I see it in your face."
"It's been a year with no word. Most of me has. But a small part of me…" She dropped her hand from his cheek slowly, letting her fingertips linger on his skin a moment longer. "We should eat."
"We should." Peeta waited for Annie to sit down before he took his seat. "Tomorrow is Sunday."
"It is." Annie confirmed as she picked up a slice of bread from the center of the table.
"I'd like to sleep in a little." He said. "But then I want to do something together. Perhaps a picnic."
She smiled and nodded. "That will be nice. I know just the place. As long as the rain holds off."
They ate the rest of their meal in a companionable silence. Peeta stared at his plate and thought about Katniss, wondering what she was doing at the same moment. He glanced up to find Annie watching him. She quickly looked down.
Annie woke up to the sound of thunder rumbling in the distance. She glanced out her window to see the storm rolling in. Lightning struck the water and the thunder cracked. Rain pelted her window. She heard a groan from the other room and then Peeta's window was slammed shut.
"Are you awake?" She called softly through the wall.
"I'm soaked, so yeah." He called back, clearly irritated.
She smiled to herself. She forgot that he mentioned sleeping with the window open. "You want me to make you some warm milk?"
"You don't have to." He replied between frustrated curses.
"I don't mind. I'm making some for myself anyway." She pulled on her wrap and made her way into the kitchen. She lit the fire in the stove and stood over it to warm herself.
Peeta walked in behind her a short time later and did the same. "I forgot about the rain. Everyone at the market was talking about it all day. Probably should move my bed before the next storm. It's drenched now."
"You can sleep in my father's room." She said as she sat a pot on the stove.
Peeta handed over the bottle of milk. "I'll sleep on the sofa."
Annie stirred the mixture. "My father's room is bigger. You should have moved in there months ago."
"You should." He sat the cups on the table. "This is your home, Annie, I just live here."
"That's not fair." She poured the milk into the cups and handed one to Peeta. "It's been over a year."
"Stop." He took his cup and walked to the door. He opened it and watched the rain fall.
She followed him. "Stop what?"
"I refuse to take over your life any more than I already have." He sipped his drink. He pointed toward the lightning off in the distance. "I guess no picnic tomorrow.
"I guess not." She grinned. "Not outside."
He gave her a confused look.
"We can move all the furniture in the parlor off to the side and spread a blanket out on the floor. Or find a cave or something away from the house to take shelter from the storm." She grinned, thinking about the cave where she and Finnick spent so many hours alone. She hadn't been there in so long. Perhaps she could sneak away some time the next day away from Peeta. She'd never take him to that cave.
"What are you grinning about over there?" Peeta asked softly.
Annie shrugged. "Nothing, just…just thinking about Finnick."
He stroked his knuckles down her arm. "Want to tell me?"
She watched the movement of his hand, her breath caught in her throat. "Not really in the mood to talk about him right now." She looked up. "I really love him, Peeta."
"I know you do." He said softly, dropping his hand.
She finished her milk and sat the cup in the sink. "I'm going to try to sleep."
He reached out and grabbed her hand. "Goodnight, Annie." He kissed her knuckles.
She smiled and rubbed her thumb across his fingers. "Goodnight, Peeta." She stepped away, still attached to his hand until she was too far away. She paused at the kitchen door and saw his eyes conflicted as he watched her.
"This hurts, Annie." He said softly.
She nodded. "It does."
He looked toward the storm again. "I think I'm going to bake a little."
"You do that." She walked to her room and tried to sleep, listening to Peeta attempting to be as quiet as possible. None of it helped Annie. She closed her eyes and pulled her blanket to her shoulders, imagining Finnick's arms wrapped around her and wishing Peeta would just come and hold her for few minutes.
She tried to ignore that feeling, but it became more persistent. She got up and walked into the kitchen. Peeta had his hands buried in a ball of dough, kneading it almost hypnotically. After watching for a while, Annie walked across the room and took his face in her hands, stroking her thumbs over his cheekbones. And then she kissed him. It was soft and slow and tentative.
She pulled away and saw the shock on her husband's face. "I…"
He shook his head and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close for another kiss. "This dough needs to rise."
"What do you suggest we do in the meantime?" She swallowed past the anxious lump in her throat.
"Something I'm not proud of wanting." His hands trailed up her sides and down her back again, cradling her to his chest.
She slid her hand down between them to rest her palm over his quickly beating heart, her eyes locked with his. "Do you want me to leave you alone again?"
He shook his head, smiling when their noses rubbed together at the movement.
"Good because I'm not ready to be alone just yet." Her breath grew short and her heart sped up. She tangled her fingers in his hair and leaned in to kiss him. Their lips brushed softly together at first. But they both decided in the same breath that it wasn't enough and pressed their lips more firmly together. Annie's tongue darted out to lick the seam of his lips and Peeta opened his mouth to allow her slow exploration.
His eyes drifted shut and then shot open again.
"You okay?" She panted.
"Yeah. I… I want it to be you." He lifted her up effortlessly and carried her into the parlor, laying her out on the sofa and stretching out over her. "You can tell me to stop."
"I won't." Annie reached up and pulled Peeta down to kiss her once more.
He sighed into her mouth and wrapped an arm underneath her, the other braced beside her head to hold most of his weight off her.
She felt her arousal growing, heating up her face. She turned her head away. "Wait a moment."
Peeta panted. "I'm sorry." He started to move away.
"I didn't say stop completely." Annie grabbed him around the waist. "Just kiss me, Peeta. Please just kiss me."
His mouth came down gently on top of hers. She held him close to her body as she let him explore her mouth. Her fingers found his soft, curly hair once more and held his face close to hers.
As his lips trailed across her jaw, she sighed, "I really like that."
She felt Peeta smile against her skin just before he kissed her neck. He hummed and Annie tightened her grip on his hair as the vibration pulsed through her body.
"Switch places with me." She pushed on his chest. "I want to see if you taste as good as you smell."
He sat up and she noted the reddening of his cheeks, which she cupped in her hands as she leaned close.
"You are so sweet." She brushed her lips over his. "Your mouth is hot." Her mouth covered his once more and took over the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck and moving onto his lap, her hip pressed against his growing arousal.
Peeta moaned into Annie's mouth and then broke the kiss. "It feels wrong."
She watched him a moment, her heart pounding in her ears. "It's never going to feel right."
He gently rubbed her back. "It's not a mark against you." He said gently.
"I know." She slowly stood and pulled her wrap back around herself. She looked him over and then asked, "Come to bed with me?"
"Annie, I just—"
"To sleep, Peeta." She pleaded. "I want to fall asleep knowing I'm not alone."
"I have dough rising." He stood and quickly walked past her into the kitchen.
She followed and asked, "After the dough's ready?"
He looked over his shoulder. "Sure. After the dough is ready."
Annie went back to bed. She curled on her side and pulled her knees up to her chest, the guilt starting to engulf her now that Peeta was in the another room.
Sometime later, she felt the blanket move and she looked over her shoulder to see Peeta climbing in beside her.
He paused. "It's still okay, isn't it?"
"It is." She settled into his chest as his arm slid over her waist, finally relaxing once more.
Peeta pressed his forehead into the back of her hair. "Do you ever just miss him so much it feels like your heart is breaking all over again?"
"My heart breaks every day when I wake up without Finnick." She rolled to her back and slid her hand up his arm. "I hope they really are together. And that he's treating her well." She closed her eyes. "He can be kind of a jerk sometimes."
He snorted. "Katniss is tough to get close to. They'd be a pretty interesting pair." He sighed. "I wish you could meet her."
She burrowed a little closer to his warmth and mumbled. "Maybe I will one day."
He nodded.
Annie's fingers danced down the length of Peeta's arm and came to rest on his wrist. "Sleep well, Peeta." She rolled away again, her fingers sliding through his.
Peeta sat up quickly, the dream already fading. He jumped when a hand landed on his arm and looked over to see Annie staring up at him with bleary eyes.
"You okay?" She asked.
"No." He got up and made his way to the kitchen to start breakfast. The rain still fell heavily outside.
"Peeta?" Annie asked softly behind him.
"I don't want to talk about it, Annie." He said as he put the last slices of bacon in the pan.
She placed her hands on his shoulders and he felt himself stiffen.
"Please, don't." He begged softly.
Her hands fell away and he heard an anguished moan. He turned to find her with her fingers tangled in her hair mumbling something to herself.
Peeta cursed under his breath and moved the pan off the stove. He gently took hold of Annie's wrists. "Hey, none of that. Come on, you didn't do anything wrong. It's me. It's all me, Annie. I just had a dream I don't want to talk about." He sighed when he saw it was getting worse. "Annie?"
She blinked a few times and then folded herself into Peeta's chest. "I'm fine." She still trembled.
He rubbed her back. "You'll be even better after you've eaten." He kissed her forehead and stepped back to the stove. "If you're nice, I'll make you some pancakes."
She smiled sadly and folded herself into a kitchen chair. "I'd love some pancakes."
He winked. "Coming right up." He took out the flour and sugar and reached in the cabinet for milk. He swirled the bottle. "We drank all the milk last night."
"There should be another bottle in there." Annie got up and opened the cabinet, pushing a few things aside.
Peeta turned to tell her she didn't need to bother, but was struck by the curve of her bottom as she bent over to look on a lower shelf. It made his dream come back.
"I was making love to you." He said suddenly.
She straightened up, a bottle of milk in her hand. "Excuse me?"
"That was the dream I woke up from. I was making love to you and Katniss was there watching. And a man who had to have been Finnick because I never saw his face." He could feel his face heating up as he took the milk from Annie.
"Do you want to?" She asked softly. "Make love to me?"
He turned away. "I already feel bad enough kissing you." Peeta mixed up a quick batter and started pouring small dollops into the bacon pan.
Annie placed a gentle hand on his back. "We're married. It's expected…"
In a quick movement, Peeta lifted Annie up and sat her on the table. He tangled his fingers in her hair and kissed her hard. "I don't care what's expected. I want you, Annie. But I don't want to want you." He groaned. "I wish we could just run away from this place."
"And go where?" She gently took gold of his face and pressed her forehead to his. "We could never make it to Twelve. The roads are watched and travel between the districts is heavily regulated."
He gave an exasperated sigh. "I know all that. Everyone knows that. Are you saying there's no hope, Annie?"
Her answer was a kiss and then she whispered, "The pancakes are burning."
"Damn." He turned and flipped the pancakes. "Not too bad."
After a short silence, Annie said, "I don't want to ever give up hope. But we can't live like this. I want you, too. Your kisses only made me want more."
Peeta took a while to answer, finishing their breakfast and setting it on the table behind where Annie still sat. He stepped in front of her once more and cupped her cheeks, pressing a series of soft kisses to her lips. And then he wrapped his arms around her and said, "Let's just stick with the kissing for now."
She hugged him back and kissed his cheek. "I can live with that."
He helped her down off the table and held out her chair before he took his own. "What was that business about an indoor picnic?"
She giggled. "You still want to?"
He nodded, a kind smile on his face. "I do. And I want to get the rooms situated today. You can take your father's old room."
Annie nodded. "If you insist."
Peeta finished chewing his latest mouthful and swallowed before tentatively saying, "And I'd really like to make your room an art studio."
"Oh, definitely!" Her enthusiasm was infectious and he relaxed quickly. "And once the bakery gets even more settled, you can buy all the supplies you need to make beautiful pieces."
He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. "Thank you, Annie."
"You're very welcome, Peeta." She kissed his knuckles. "Now, about that picnic…"
He laughed. "We're still eating breakfast." He argued.
"The furniture is heavy. You'll work up an appetite again quickly." She grinned.
"Am I doing it all then?" He smirked.
She shrugged. "And why should I lift a finger?"
He laughed again. "Tell me what you want me to make."
"I'll put the meal together." She offered. "Since I'm making you do all the heavy lifting."
"You drive a hard bargain, Annie." He gave her a teasingly hard look.
They finished their meal in silence, watching each other across the table and playing footsie underneath.