"If only…the saddest words in the English language. I would never love anyone the way I loved him. My lawyerly brain accepted that fact. My heart…well, my heart couldn't think at the moment. Once, I'd been adored by the man with the gypsy eyes, and those days had been the happiest and most terrifying of my life"

-Kristan Higgins-

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The streets of New York City bustled with noise and people as she ran as far away as she could from that theater. Her head was spinning and it felt as if her heart would burst out of her chest any minute, the wounds she tried so hard to hide over the years were opening and becoming raw with every second that passed.

Damon.

He was here, after so many years, he had been in front of her and everything had come rushing back to her. All the love, the heartache and the pain that loving him had brought her. For a second there, standing in front of him she turned once again into that seventeen-year-old girl outside of a dance academy whose dreams had crumbled apart.

When her legs couldn't hold themselves up anymore she stopped and pressed herself against a cold building wall, she had no idea for how long she had run or in what direction but at the moment she didn't care. She just pressed her face onto the stone cold wall and let the tears fall down her cheeks, her heart was being ripped out of her chest and she couldn't take it anymore. She was flushing, sweat trickling down her back and a few hairs had fallen out of her bun, she looked like an absolute mess, her appearance mirroring the feelings inside her.

She heard the footsteps approaching behind her but she just didn't have the strength to run anymore, she knew it was him without turning around; something in her was still so attuned to him.

"Elena…" He whispered as he moved closer, Elena could feel him behind her and a pressure grew in her chest at the knowledge that all she needed was to turn around and she would be staring into his blue eyes once again.

After so long he was finally here.

Her back was to him but it was her, it was the woman he had searched for so long. Having her at arm's length once again made him feel both sad and joyous at the same time, there was something of disbelief in there too, because he couldn't believe that after all that time she was finally standing in front of him. He was almost afraid to blink and having it all disappear, he was afraid that this was all a dream.

"Elena…" He pressed a hand to her shoulder and heard her intake of breath as her body shuddered under his hand.

"Damon don't… please don't"

"I just… I just need to talk Elena. Please just…"

She shook her head and he knew she was crying; a few tears were already falling from his eyes as well. "You left" She whispered and his eyes closed in pain "I waited for you" She turned around so fast, forcing him to drop his hand from her shoulder "I stood there for hours until it was evident you weren't going to show up"

"I know, Elena I know but I-"

"But you what? You needed the money more than me?!" She shouted between sobs, her beautiful face was crumbled in pain and it broke his heart to see her like that "I felt like I was dying Damon, I wanted to die"

"No, don't say that Elena" He moved to touch her but she stopped him.

"But it's the truth" She said "I tried, I tried more than once because I didn't care about anything or anyone" She spat and he felt like breaking down at the moment, every word she spoke was ripping his heart out. "I needed you, I needed you and you weren't there"

"You need to let me explain" He pleaded with her.

"I had my wedding dress ready. We were supposed to get married that day and live happily ever after Damon" She cried as she hugged herself, the night air was chilly and even with her coat on, goose bumps had already appeared on her skin.

"I know doll, I know." He hung his head as he tried to suppress the pain he was feeling. He had pictured that scene for many nights in his head. He had pictured a hundred scenarios where things didn't turn out the way they did and they were happy but he had also pictured her broken and alone, wondering why he never showed up.

"And all for what? For money? How could you?" She sobbed and her eyes were so broken and sad, he wanted nothing more than to fix her, to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay.

"Money? That's what they told you?" He whispered and she gave him a confused look. Damon's hand balled into fists at his side. He never should have underestimated Isobel Gilbert.

"I searched for you Elena" He told her "I searched everywhere"

"No, no you didn't" She said while shaking her head. She refused to believe him, she couldn't. Not after everything.

"Yes, yes I did" He took her face between his hands and forced her eyes to meet his "You know I did" She closed her eyes as he pressed their foreheads together. The warmness of his skin eased the cold inside her and she knew that if she let him hold her for a few more minutes she would melt in his arms.

She believed him, a part deep inside of her believed him. Wasn't that what she always knew was true? Inside her heart she always knew Damon loved her then so why was it so hard to accept it now, to accept everything she believed to be true in the last ten years was a lie.

She cried as he wrapped her in his arms and for the first time in so long she felt utterly and completely safe. Surrounded by his smell, his touch, his warmness; this was the place where she belonged, where she was supposed to be the last ten years.

He wanted to ask so many things, he wanted to know what happened with their baby. How she was here in New York, if she was married. He wanted to know everything about her again but at the moment he couldn't bring himself to do nothing but hold her, hold her and breathe in her scent, storing it for a moment when she wasn't next to him.

As he stroked her hair Elena felt the floor shaking under her, this was the moment she prayed so hard to get while she was locked away in Stella Marie, it was finally here, she was finally once again in the safeness of his arms but it was now a few years too late. She couldn't deal with the overwhelming wave of emotions hitting her all at once. Sadness for the life that could have been, anger for everything that was taken away from them and shame for what she let happen, it was all too much.

She broke apart from his embrace and moved a few steps away "I can't"

"Elena please" The vulnerability on his face broke her but she couldn't be here, it was just too hard. He didn't show up, he didn't show up ten years ago and that had been the end of life for her.

"Damon please, just let me go" She pleaded as she backed away slowly.

Elena needed time to think, she needed time to cry and to grieve. She walked away, leaving him standing there in the cold New York night as he watched her walk away from him.

"I'm going to find you!" He shouted as tears continued to fall from her eyes "I will always find you" She heard him say behind her but she didn't stop.

She kept walking as the moon shinned above her like it had done so many years ago as she waited for him in that parking lot.

The drapes were open; the light of the busy city filtered through the floor length glass windows, illuminating an expanse of the living room, while the rest of the apartment was submerged into complete darkness.

She lay there on the floor next to the window, on her back with her neck slightly craned so she could stare at the top of the tallest buildings and the moon up in the sky. Her knee length floral dress was crumpled and her hair was sprawled on the floor having found release from the bun that restricted it.

Her eyes were red rimmed and her throat still hurt from all the crying she had been doing over the last few hours. Her hands gripped a newborn's bracelet tightly as she watched the dark sky outside the window. When she first moved in she had chosen to be on one of the highest floors because it gave her a sense of peace, of protection, being locked away in a tower where nothing could ever hurt her again, but now she couldn't think of a lonelier place to be.

She heard the noise of a key on the lock but she didn't care, she wasn't afraid, she knew who was behind that door and frankly at this point just being there on the floor was already too exhausting.

"Elena, are you here sweetheart?" The soft voice of Caroline resonated in the quiet apartment "Elena?" The voice sounded louder as the blonde girl approached the living room

"In here" Elena tried to shout but her voice was hoarse and didn't have the effect she was looking for

"Oh God, sweet heart" Caroline said when she found her.

It was quite a sight, a young woman with a wrinkled dress and tear stained cheeks lying on the floor looking at the window while holding for dear life the bracelet of the baby she was forced to give away so many years ago.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know" Caroline whispered as she removed her shoes and lowered herself onto the floor next to her friend

"There was no way you could have known" Elena said "What were the odds?" There was a small smile on her face that held no joy.

Caroline toke a deep breath and turned to lay on her side, her elbow pressed onto the ground and her head resting on top of her head "Stefan told me… about what happened"

Elena closed her eyes as tears started streaming down her face once again "Please, please Caroline I don't want to hear it" Her words broke down in the middle of the sentence. She didn't think she could take anymore tonight; she already felt so emotionally drained.

"You should give Damon a chance to explain himself" Caroline ignored her as she looked at her with a frown and deep sadness in her eyes "I always told you that he didn't take that money, I don't know how but I just knew it in my heart"

"Please Caroline" Elena pleaded once again as she griped the bracelet even tighter "Not tonight"

"All right" The blonde girl agreed "But only because I think you should hear it from his lips" Caroline dropped herself completely onto the floor once again and placed her head on Elena's neck "You don't have to go through this alone Elena"

"But I was alone" Elena whispered "I was all alone when they took her away"

"Sweet heart-"

"I should have fought harder" She cried "I feel so embarrassed, I was too weak" The blonde girl wrapped her arms around her friend and let her cry

"You did all you could" She consoled her while her own eyes filled up with tears.

"You were able to do it, you could keep her" Elena says

"Our situations were different" Caroline murmured "Don't blame yourself sweet Elena"

"I don't know what I'm doing" Elena admited with defeat "It's like I am alive but I'm not living and seeing him today… it made me feel alive for the first time in so long"

"Then that's your answer" Caroline told her "Just listen to your heart Elena, God knows what's best for you and he'll let you know through here" She placed a hand on Elena's chest "Him and the Virgin are always looking out for you"

"Do you think they're looking out for her too?" Elena asked in a broken voice

"Of course they are Elena" Caroline said softly "I pray for her every night and the Virgin always listen to the ones who pray to her"

Elena managed a small smile as she looked at her friend; Caroline's faith was something that still amazed her till this day "Thank you" She told her friend. They lay there in silence for a few more hours until the light started shifting and the sun rose in the sky.

Elena had no idea what the morning would bring but she was absolutely certain that things had shifted in the night and her world would not be the same again, not if him was in it.