Hello there!

I must warn you this is a bit of a drama filled chapter but I really hope you like it.

Some of you have been telling me that the Camaro was not built until after 1959 that it's when the story begins and I know this but there's no way I can write a Damon Salvatore without his blue camaro, there's no way so please just ignore this fact and roll with it.

Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to leave me a review, they totally made my day better.

Thanks to Lorena for her amazing support.

And here we go.

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
Your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choice but I'd still choose you

I don't love you but I always will

The Civil Wars

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Elena Gilbert paced back and forth in her bedroom as her best friend and her daughter finished packing her belongings.

"I think I'm making a mistake" She told them for the millionth time that day

"No, you're not" Her best friend, Caroline, answered.

Elena brought her index finger to her mouth and started chipping off the nail polish on it. After a lot of thought and two hellish restless nights she had finally decided to agree to Damon's offer and go with him to North Carolina. The rational part of her told her she was making the biggest mistake of her life, but the part of her that was still optimistic told her this might be the first step to reaching the life she always dreamed of.

"I think we have everything ready auntie Ellie" Lizzie said in a cheerful voice, at the beginning she had been a little bit upset that Elena was going away but after finding out she was going with Damon she had been fully supportive of the idea.

Elena looked at the clock on her nightstand and the coil in the pit of her stomach tightened even more "He should be here any moment" She whispered.

Caroline walked towards her and gripped her hands with hers "Elena you know I wouldn't be so keen on this if I thought it was a bad idea" The blonde girl told her "But I think this is exactly what you need"

"I think this road trip is going to open so many wounds Care"

"I know sweetheart but maybe that's what you need in order to forgive and let go" She told her kindly before wrapping her into a hug. Elena fought back her tears and tightened her arms around her friend. "Remember the Virgin is always with you"

She was so afraid of this trip, of being once again with Damon and letting herself feel for him again. If everything came crashing down like it did before Elena was sure she wouldn't be able to stand it this time.

"It's going to be okay auntie" Elena heard Lizzie's voice and then felt her small arms wrap around her waist even though Caroline hadn't let go of her yet. Emotion clogged in her throat as she let go of her friend and kneeled down to hug the little girl who had brightened her life in so many ways.

"Thank you Lizzie" Elena whispered against the girl's hair as she let one single tear roll down her cheek, a tear for the little girl she would never hold in her arms the way she was hugging her niece.

A knock on the door interrupted their moment and Elena let go of Lizzie "I think your prince is here" She said, which earned a giggle from Caroline and an eye roll from her.

The blonde girl went to open the door as Elena and Lizzie finished zipping her bags, Elena took a look at herself in the mirror, she was wearing a simple blue dress that was a bit above the knee and had a belt around the waist paired with cream colored booties. She had decided to style her hair into a simple high pony tail but now that she stared at herself she realized that had been a bad idea because her hair had been in that exact same way the first time he spoke to her, not that she had any time to change it now.

"Let's go auntie" Lizzie said while taking one of the bags and heading towards the living room where Elena could already hear the voices of Damon and Caroline.

She took a deep breath before grabbing one of the bags and following the little girl. When she entered the living room and found him next to Caroline she almost sighed like a school girl.

He was dazzling as always, but with the light entering from the window hitting his handsome face he truly looked like the prince Lizzie claimed he was. He was wearing grey slacks and a black cardigan that did nothing but bring out the blue in his eyes, his hair was in that James Dean way again, and Elena wanted nothing more than to run her hand through it to see if it was still as soft as it had been back in the day.

"Hello doll" He told her when he caught her staring at him and she felt a blush begin to cover her entire face.

"Hi" She answered softly as she smoothed her hand over imaginary wrinkles on her dress. His lips curled up into a smirk and her heart did a cartwheel in her chest.

"You ready?" He asked as he moved closer to her.

The minute Damon had seen her walk out of her bedroom it had been like he was transported to Mystic Falls ten years back and he was seeing her for the first time- hanging out with her friends in Mystic Falls High School, he knew since that first moment his eyes stared at her that she was going to be the only woman he was ever going to love.

"Yes, I have everything" Elena babbled, mentally cursing herself for behaving like a school girl all over again. This wasn't the first time she was going to be with him since he returned but somehow it felt like it was.

Damon smiled at Lizzie before ruffling her hair and taking the bag she was holding "How you doing kid?" He asked with the warmest smile Elena had seen from him in a while. Her heart broke at the sight and she almost collapsed from the painful force that threatened to split her apart.

"I'm doing okay" Lizzie smiled brightly at him "Are you taking Auntie Ellie to your palace?"

"My palace?" Damon asked with a smile and raised his eyebrows. Elena closed her eyes as her hand moved to her stomach and she tried to block every sound of Damon and Lizzie's conversation. It hurt so much to think of what could have been and all she had been forced to give up because she wasn't strong enough.

Luckily for her Damon was so engrossed in his talk with the little girl that he didn't take notice of her little outburst but her best friend who was still standing next to the window did. Elena met Caroline's sad eyes across the room and she gave her friend a tight and what she hoped was a reassuring smile but she knew her friend didn't buy her act.

"I don't think we should keep you any longer" The blonde girl said in an overly happy tone. "You should get going if you want to get on the road on time"

"Yes, you're right" Damon smiled brightly and then frowned when he saw the expression on Elena's face, not that she let him see it for a long time; she schooled her features back to normal in record time, reminding him that there was still so much of this new Elena he didn't know.

They both said their goodbyes, Elena holding onto her friend for a little too long before leaving the apartment. They went down the elevator in complete silence, the nerves creating havoc in her stomach with every minute that passed.

"Not very different" Elena smiled in spite of herself when she saw the cougar blue Mercury parked on the street.

"What can I say? I have a type" He smirked before popping open the trunk and loading it with Elena's things. She walked around the car touching it, thinking about the adventures Damon had lived in it and regretting not being a part of any of it. Luckily she would have this trip to rectify it.

"You ready?" He asked, bringing her back from her sad thoughts.

"Yes" She nodded simply. He smiled and walked towards her.

"Thank you for choosing to come with me" His blue eyes stared warmly at her before he leaned down and pressed his soft lips onto her forehead, Elena's eyes closed of her own accord as she breathed in his scent and rejoiced in his proximity.

The moment was over too soon and he moved to open the passenger door for her, Elena took a deep breath before entering the car and being surrounded by all things Damon. If she didn't pay enough attention she could even picture she was sitting at the Camaro right now.

Damon entered the car and smiled the biggest smile she had ever seen, the crow's feet by his eyes growing and she swore there was nothing more beautiful than him at this very moment. He turned up the car and as the motor roared and they took off a beautiful thought came to her mind.

They were finally running away together and this time no one was going to stop them.

Damon knew that he could make the drive in eleven hours' top if he didn't stop and maintained a steady speed but the truth was that he wanted to prolong this road trip for as long as he could so he was driving as slow as the limit allowed him and had decided to suggest to Elena that they take a little detour to do some sightseeing.

"But won't that take us longer?" Elena had asked when he told her his plan. He had only nodded while a smile splayed on his face "Won't they need you at work?"

"We'll still make it on time for Monday morning"

She had smiled at him then and it had been decided that they would spend the night in Annapolis and do some sightseeing in the morning before taking off again. And so now they were a good half an hour away; Elena had a map sprawled on her lap and was looking at it with a frown, her ponytail was messy and had more than a few hairs sticking out of it; she was the most beautiful woman Damon had ever seen and if he didn't need to drive he would keep on staring at her all afternoon.

"Are you sure we took the right turn?" She asked him. She had been asking that every half an hour but instead of getting on his nerves he enjoyed it, he enjoyed everything she was willing to give him.

"Yes doll, I'm sure"

"Okay then" She folded the map and placed it on the dashboard. "So, what is it that you do at the restaurant, are you the main cook?"

"I used to be" He told her "For the first year and a half I did all of the cooking while Stefan managed the bar, but since we're doing more than okay now we've hired people for it" He explained to her "But I'm still there every day to make sure everything runs smoothly and I deal with suppliers and bills and all of that"

"Wow, it all sounds very important" She told him with a smile, she stared at his profile and was marveled once again that she was now sitting next to Damon Salvatore, if someone would have told her a month ago she was going to be here right now she wouldn't have believed it. "And what was it that made you decide to move to North Carolina?"

"Honestly?" He asked "After I gave up on the idea of finding you in New York I bought a map, stared at it for hours, just thinking where I should go. I don't really know what it was that made me decide on North Carolina, I think it was the fact that it wasn't too close to New York but not too far away either"

Elena looked down at her hands in her lap, the silence stretching out in the car. Her eyes closed and she twisted her hands, they had been so close back then, both in the same city. He had been looking for her and she had been doing everything in her power to be invisible.

"Do you like it there?" She asked in a whisper

"Yes, I wasn't very sure at the beginning. But like I said before, I started travelling a lot and somehow I always wanted to go back there, I felt at home, like I had never felt in another place before…well, except when I was with you"

Elena's breath got stuck in her throat at his admission, Damon wasn't shy about letting her know how he felt about her after all this time, but still hearing him say it aloud did some amazing things to her heart.

"Which part of North Carolina do you live in?"

"Wilmington" He smiled fondly and Elena realized she was happy that Damon had found a place where he belonged. She knew that with the life he and Stefan had lived when they were younger they never really had found a place where they could actually grow roots. "Bonnie says life by the water suits me"

Elena's head turned so fast she was surprised she didn't get whiplash "Bonnie?" She stared at his profile intently, the sun had started to set a few minutes ago and now the darkness was starting to show, maybe it had something to do with the clouds lurking in the sky.

"Yes, Bonnie Bennet"

"Are you friends with Bonnie Bennet?" Elena asked in a very calm and low voice. She hadn't seen her ex best friend since that fated day at the diner when she walked out on her, she thought about her once in a while but not very often, so it was more than a shock to find out that Damon had kept in touch with her.

"When I went back to Mystic Falls to find you she was one of the people I asked about you. She told me you guys had a fallout and weren't speaking but asked me to tell you she was sorry if I ever saw you again" He explained in a calm voice

"We had a fallout because she called you white trash and said I should stay away from you unless I planned to raise my children in the floor of a dinner" Elena was surprised at the bitterness in her voice and regretted her words when she saw the wince on Damon's face "I'm sorry, I shouldn't-"

"It's okay doll" He reassured her "But people change, Elena, she did. I met her again a few years later and I don't know, we just kept in touch. We're really good friends now"

"I see" Elena said quietly. She couldn't help the nagging jealousy that crept into her body at his words, the fondness with which he talked about her former friend. How come Bonnie got to have Damon when she couldn't?

"Are you okay?" He looked at her briefly before turning his attention back on the road

"Did you and her ever-?" Elena trailed off, not even wanting to finish the sentence, she couldn't explain it but the idea of Bonnie with Damon of all people really made her feel sour.

"What? No, no, of course not" He answered with a shake of his head, shocked that she could think something like that

"I had to ask you" She shrugged

"I can assure you, it's nothing like that"

"But you have been with other women" She whispered and when he didn't answer she huffed in response "Of course" Elena knew she was being irrational, ten years had gone by, she didn't expect Damon to live his life like a monk, but the idea of him with other women was enough to make her start acting out of character "How many?"

"Not many" He said simply, a muscle was pulsing in his jaw and his eyes were completely fixated on the road.

"Truly?"

"I swear, not many" His stance relaxed a bit "It's the truth, honestly three…in the span of ten years and even if it sounds awful I didn't love any of them, they were all a one time thing" He looked at her briefly but averted his eyes when she looked at him.

"Honestly?"

"I would never lie to you Elena" He said in a soft voice

"Okay"

"Did you ever-?" He asked, afraid of the answer. He knew he didn't have any right to ask, God knows that even if in his mind he always belonged to Elena he had two or three slips over the last ten years. He couldn't expect for her to remain celibate but he couldn't stop the part of him that dreaded to know she had given herself to someone else.

"I haven't" She said in a whisper.

"What about that guy Liam?" Damon bit out, vile rising to his throat at the thought of him and Elena. He knew he had suggested for her to call the police and he had wanted to plum him into the floor for even thinking about keeping him away from Elena.

"We're just friends"

"I wouldn't expect for you to… I mean you didn't owe anything to me" Damon knew that it was meant to hurt but he preferred to know the truth than live in a lie.

"It's only been you Damon" She choked up while she turned her head to look out of the window. Damon's throat clogged with emotion as a sense of relief invaded him, he knew it was selfish but he was so damn glad that he still remained as the only man in Elena's life.

The mood dampened after that, they remained the rest of the way to Annapolis in complete silence; the tension was thick in the car and they were both praying for a hotel to appear soon so they could walk out of the car and have some time alone to gather their thoughts.

"That one looks good" Elena looked to a very decent looking hotel, the clouds were darker now and they knew the rain was about to start any minute now so it was better to find shelter sooner rather than later.

"Yes, I think it'll do" Damon told her softly. He headed towards the parking lot as the first droplets of rain started to fall from the sky "You want us to meet for dinner later?" There was no doubt that they were getting separate rooms but Damon didn't want to go to bed without fixing whatever had gone sour between them. "Elena, do you?"

"No I don't" She answered sharply and opened the door of the car without even a glance back.

"Elena, what the hell?!" Damon shouted while following her out of the car, she started to walk towards the entrance so he followed her, not even caring about their stuff still being in the car's trunk. "What is happening?" He grabbed her by the elbow and forced her to stop, the rain was heavier now but he wasn't about to let her go without an explanation.

"What's happening is that you should have never agreed to this" She yelled at him "This was a big mistake Damon"

"No it wasn't"

"Yes, it was" She told him, rain drops clang to her lashes and she had to blink them away to see him clearly "Too much time has passed ,Damon, too much pain and… it's just too much"

"And it's all my fault" He shouted angrily. "Because everything is always my fault. Do you think you're the only one in pain Elena?"

"Damon I-"

"No, no" He spat at her "I know you suffered and I can't even start to understand all that you had to go through Elena" Damon moved closer to her, the rain had them completely wet and his hair was now sticking to his forehead "But I wasn't dancing on clouds either, I too wanted to fucking die!" He shouted "I wanted to rip open my chest because the pain of not being around you was killing me; I had to spend night after night wondering where you were, if you were okay, if our baby was okay"

"And I had to watch them rip her away from me!" She cried angrily, the tears and rain mixing on her face

"I know darling, and trust me my heart aches for it, but please don't act like I was living a great life while that was happening" His eyes were red and she didn't know if it was the rain or his own tears. "You know I wanted nothing more than to be there"

"But you didn't, you didn't show up and I was in hell. And I tried to kill myself with fucking aspirins" She threw her words at him and watched him flinch at them "You weren't there and I had to stand on my own and do nothing while they took her away and you weren't there to protect us! You promised but you weren't there to keep us safe"

Her words were like a physical blow and he even recoiled back at them "You know that wasn't my fault Elena" He told her in a surprisingly steady voice. Ever since he came back and found out what happened that had been eating him up, his job was always to keep her and the baby safe and he had failed miserably. "You know that I never wanted-"

"God I'm sorry, I know you-"

"You don't know shit Elena!" He cried, his voice wobbled with emotion "I went through hell too so don't come here and tell me it's my fault because you know damn well it wasn't"

She stayed in silence while staring at him as the rain poured down on them in the deserted parking lot and old wounds and recriminations resurfaced after so long.

They eventually found their way inside, drenched, sad, and more than a little bit lonely; they went to their separate bedrooms and collapsed once the door was closed.

They cried for the past that kept hurting them, for the present they didn't know how to handle and for the future that seemed to be further away with every step they took.

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