"You still okay?"
The waitress asks nervously as she walks beside the blonde; trying and failing to keep some of the joy from her voice so as to match Emma's glum expression. The Sheriff offers her a curt nod, not bothering with the transparently thin-lipped smile she has offered Ruby the last three times the younger woman has asked this very same question, but, when Henry slips his hand into hers, she squeezes it tightly, wrapping her arm around his shoulders as the boy wraps his own around her waist.
"Are you excited?"
He asks, and she glances down at him distractedly, wondering what would constitute as the 'right' answer in this situation, but she's saved from what seems to her to be an impossible task when Ruby pipes up animatedly.
"Of course she is, but this is all pretty sudden, Henry... Your mom needs some time to get her head around it all, I'll bet!"
The waitress advises reasonably, before adopting a frown when her words are met with a small shrug from her friend, and she tries to coach her features to form a more fittingly morose expression. She has asked several times now what happened while the blonde had been captured, but Emma has made it infallibly clear she doesn't wish to discuss such matters. Ruby had thought at first that her reluctance to talk might be due to Henry's presence, but the longer she studies the Sheriff out of the corner of her eye, the more she comes to the conclusion that the blonde doesn't look well. Not well at all.
She said she was okay...
She frowns as she thinks back on Emma's declaration of this very fact while standing in the Mayor's hallway.
She had awoken to the sound of voices up above; instantly recognising that of her friend, while at the same time finding that low murmur to be curious.
That voice was from here... Not from there.
The elation of thinking of herself as Red rather than Ruby had increased tenfold with the knowledge that the blonde was safe and sound upstairs talking to the Queen.
The Evil Queen.
She had baulked at that, her instincts screaming at her to get the hell out of the witch's house, while in the meantime begging the question of just what the Sheriff might make of all of this.
Emma's expression had spoken volumes when she had finally made her way downstairs.
Henry had come bounding out of his room, embracing his mother fiercely while apologising for being a 'jerk' and asking her what she was doing there. One look at the blonde's face had been enough for Ruby to hurry over and rescue the Sheriff from the inquisitive barrage of questions sure to come from the ten-year-old.
Green eyes had studied her warily, before the blonde had asked her if she was 'different now', too. She had grinned, overjoyed, and pulled the Sheriff into another tight embrace, whispering 'You did it, Emma, you saved us!' much to Henry's delight.
Emma had simply stared at her.
She had asked about Regina, but had received a look of such warning upon mention of the brunette's name that she'd swiftly changed the subject. When Emma had muttered she should make her way home to find Mary Margaret, both she and Henry had tagged along without any hesitation; Henry sparing no question as to whether doing so would be allowed, and the waitress imagines such a thing might be telling of how things are going to go from now on. She'd almost expressed this thought out loud, but Emma hadn't seemed particularly keen on making conversation, leaving them where they are now; walking in semi-uncomfortable silence.
"Well, I'd be excited if I were you. You finally get to meet Snow White and Prince Charming! And they'll know who you are and-... Are you okay? Are you sick?"
Henry frowns, and the blonde shakes her head, although she has to admit, she's felt a great deal better than she does right now, but she doesn't think the sickness she feels is the sort to which her son is referring.
"No, I'm fine... Just nervous I guess."
She replies woodenly.
"You've already met the Evil Queen! How much worse can it get?"
The boy grins, and Ruby bites her lip as the Sheriff scowls darkly, offering Henry a small shrug and a wide smile when he glances up at her; clearly confused by his mother's reaction.
"Mom? Are you-"
"-I'm fine Henry. You shouldn't call your mother that, though."
"But she is! Emma! You saw-"
"-Enough! I don't want to hear it."
The boy bristles beneath the cold reprimand offered to him by the blonde and Ruby blinks in surprise. She's grown used to the cutting tone the Sheriff is prone to taking, but she's never heard Emma speak in such a way to her son. In the yellow glow of the streetlights, the blonde's face appears haggard and worn, and Ruby supposes it can't be easy for her to have uncovered the Mayor's true identity.
The Evil Queen... I'm sorry, Emma, I am... But, just how much of the past was Regina actually aware of?... Surely she would have allowed herself the benefit of the truth... But, if that were so, then the Evil Queen strived to protect the Saviour... If that were so-... She loves you... She loves you, evil or not.
"Do you want us to wait outside when you go in?"
She asks quietly to break the silence, and the blonde looks up at her distractedly, pulling the soft wool of her loaned sweater tighter around her slim frame. It fits her awkwardly, and she wishes the wind would either pick up or die down so that it would stop serving her the delicate scent of apples she has come to associate with the Mayor.
With the Queen.
Her muscles ache, and she imagines the headache she's having a hard time battling against is as much the result of a lack of proper food and water as it is the craziness that impends on her. Her wrists feel warm and a little sore, but she forbids herself from looking down at the curious white lines that mark her pale skin where there should be ruined flesh and ugly stitching.
Do I want you to wait outside?... Wait outside while I go pop in and say hi to Snow White?... How am I supposed to even know the answer to that question?
She shrugs, aware that this is becoming a bit of a theme as they walk along and hating herself for being what she is sure is the dampener to her friend's well-deserved happiness, but she's unable to help it. If Ruby really is some fucking wolf, Red, whatever, then good for her. She wants only good things for the young waitress. She just doesn't quite know how to make her face perform the necessary expressions to show it.
I don't know what to tell you, Ruby... Red... Whoever you are. I don't know what to think, or what to feel. The only person I want to be with is the reason I spent my whole life up until meeting her entirely alone. The reason I had no father, no mother... And now, the woman we're on our way to see is the very woman that the only person I've ever come to truly love - that deserved my love - endeavoured to destroy... Forgive me, but I'm not sure what would be considered the right thing to say about all this.
She sighs, alarmed by the telling prickle of tears that finds her tired eyes, and she muses that for someone that rarely cries, Regina has brought out a side of her that is alarmingly watery for her liking. Sniffing, she rolls her eyes at the absurdity of it all. Her thoughts are muddled, for she does love another; she loves the kid. And she has loved another; Neal... But there is a pain to the emotion that she attaches to the Mayor that makes her sure that this is something else entirely.
It must be true love, because nothing else would hurt this badly.
You've been reading too many fairytales... Or perhaps not enough, as the case may be... But think about it, Swan... You loved Neal, and it hurt when he fucked you over, too... Don't make this into something it's not. The woman was nice to you, she made you feel good... That's all there is to it. Don't clutch at straws.
She frowns, gritting her teeth.
No.
That's not what's happening here.
She came to find me. I matter to her. Not as the fucking Saviour. As Emma.
Shaking her head, she wrestles her hands into the pockets of the tight slacks the brunette leant her, and watches her breath mist in front of her, illuminated by the streetlights. She is relieved that they walk in the darkness of the early hours; not sure she would have been able to deal with making her way home with the regular hustle and bustle of Storybrooke's patrons out on the streets. She tries to imagine what it must be like; waking up to discover that you're someone else entirely. The thought has a certain amount of romanticism to it... But it turns out, she's just Emma.
Somehow, it just doesn't seem like it's enough.
"Hey, Kid. Will Mary Margaret even know it's me? Like-... I mean-... I was a baby when I went through that wardrobe thing, and I-"
Her words are cut off as the three of them let out a simultaneous cry of surprise, each shielding their face from the harsh beam of light that pierces the darkness and blocks out all but the owner's silhouette.
"Emma?"
Someone greets her from behind the light, and the blonde nods, her hand still shielding her eyes as she instinctively puts an arm around Henry's shoulders.
"Who's there?"
She recognises the voice but struggles to place it. Blinking rapidly as the torchlight sways to illuminate the ground, she lets out a startled yelp as strong arms pull her into a tight embrace. Struggling free, she waits for her eyes to adjust to the new semi-darkness before speaking shakily
"David?"
"Oh my god! Snow! Over here!"
A light pattering of moccasins on concrete, and a second pair of arms wrap themselves around her shoulders as her housemate presses her mouth firmly to her cheek.
"Oh, Emma! I was so worried! My-... My girl... My-..."
The raven-headed woman's words taper off into heavy sobs, and the blonde plays with a thread on Henry's coat nervously as the boy beams up at his grandparents. Biting her lip as the schoolteacher lets out a second cry and embraces the waitress who hugs her back fiercely, she looks up at David awkwardly when he places a hand on her shoulder.
"What, uh-... What are you guys doing out here?"
She asks.
"Looking for you, Emma! What happened!? Snow-... Well... Mary Margaret called me and told me you were missing. We went out to look for you, and... There was this sudden warmth - a heat - and... You did it, baby, you broke the Curse!"
"I knew she could do it!"
Henry pipes up, and Emma looks down at him warily, wondering just what the boy would say if he only knew how the Curse had been lifted. Hanging her head awkwardly, she closes her eyes as Mary Margaret hurries back over and pulls her close, her face becoming buried in the comfortingly familiar scent of the older woman's coat.
"My little girl..."
The schoolteacher whispers into her hair, and the blonde cringes; not knowing how best to deal with this situation, but sure that however she goes about doing it will be the wrong way. She has never been one to excel with emotion.
Regina understood.
"I'm bigger than you are..."
She mutters into her mother's short locks, and she sniffs as the schoolteacher laughs shakily and wipes away the tears she hadn't realised had fallen from her pale cheeks.
"Oh, Emma... I'm so proud of you! You saved us!... You saved everyone..."
Doesn't feel that way.
"Emma?... Are you okay?"
Mary Margaret furrows her brow as her excitement seems to fall on deaf ears. Taking a step back to check the blonde over, she gives the younger woman's hands a squeeze as she wills her to respond more appropriately.
"Yeah."
No.
"Good... Come, let's go home. Let's get you warmed up. I'll make us all some hot chocolate, just the way you like it... Oh, there's so much I want to ask you! And I imagine you are just full of questions for us! Come on, that's right."
The Sheriff allows herself to be pulled in close to her housemate; the raven-headed woman linking an arm through her own companionably while shooting her frequent affectionate glances she studies the pavement to ignore. Henry bounds up to join David and Red as they stroll a little ahead, and Emma frowns as the kid allows his hand to be taken by the man without question.
Am I the only one not thrilled by all this?
"Are you sure you're okay?"
Mary Margaret asks worriedly, perching on the sofa beside the blonde and placing the back of her hand gently against the latter's forehead. Emma nods irritably, ducking away from the schoolteacher's touch.
"I'm fine... Just-... Kind of trying to keep my brain intact, you know?... This is a lot..."
"I can imagine."
Snow confides quietly, green eyes flickering over the blonde's drawn features with kind concern.
"I'm sorry this all happened the way it did. I guess there was never going to be a perfect way, but I'm just so glad you're okay!... When Ruby came to tell me about what Rumple-... Gold... Did to you... We'll make him pay for it, Emma, I promise. I mean, what on earth was he thinking, kidnapping you like that!?... Still, I suppose whatever he did must have broken the Curse. But if he hurt you, we'll-"
"-It doesn't matter."
Emma shuts her down quietly.
"Doesn't matter?! Of course it does!... Did he? Did he hurt you?!"
Snow's expression darkens as she studies the blonde with fresh intensity.
"I'm fine now. Regina fixed it."
"Regina?... She found you?"
"Yeah."
"And she-... She didn't try to hurt you when she found out who you were? When the Curse broke? She-"
"-She knew who I was. I think she's always known... She helped break The Curse... She helped me."
"I see... Well... I can understand why you might think that, but-... I don't think-... I mean-... I doubt she really did help break the Curse, Emma... Maybe she told you that, after all, I know she kind of had you thinking-"
"-She didn't have me thinking anything. The Curse broke when I kissed her."
The blonde interrupts firmly.
"It broke when you-... But-... The only magic strong enough to-... What?"
"It doesn't matter. She-... I don't know."
Emma sighs.
She's the reason why this is all so awkward now. The reason I feel like a stranger to parents that would have loved me. Would have wanted me. It's her fault... Her fault, but I just want to know why. What could you possibly have done to her to make it all worth it? Why this? Why did it all come to this?
"I think I'm going to go to bed."
She murmurs, and the schoolteacher opens her mouth to argue, but the blonde makes her way from the sofa - stopping by the armchair where Henry sits curled up asleep to place a kiss on the boy's forehead - before disappearing up the stairs without a second glance.
Snow doesn't need to see her expression to read the emotion behind the way the Sheriff's shoulders droop as she drags her feet behind her.
This isn't how it was supposed to go...
Regina sits rigidly still on silk sheets, her eyes tired and bloodshot, and her lips a smudged mess of ghosted scarlet. Her attention falls repeatedly on the maroon streaks that stain her door, but she can't quite bring herself to remove them.
I'm sorry, Emma. I'm so, so sorry...
She sighs. She bares no remorse for the pain inflicted by her actions upon the hateful young woman and her prince that have acted as the bane of her existence for so long, but she is positive now that if she had known who that tiny, fair-headed babe would grow up to become, her love for the blonde would have outweighed her hate for her mother.
It wouldn't have been the same. Without the Curse, you would never have known Emma the way you do now...
She shakes her head as she comes to the curious realisation that it doesn't matter. She would do anything to grant the younger woman her happiness, and if it would have meant never knowing the blonde herself... It would have been worth it...
Hindsight is a beautiful thing. But with all beauty, comes pain.
If I could take it all back, I-
She flinches, her eyes bright as she listens intently to the silence that cloaks her bedroom, sure she has heard a noise from downstairs. Brow furrowing as she hears it again, she pushes herself from her bed slowly to stalk over to the window, seeking out the source of the heavy knocking that comes from below.
Tossing restlessly in bed, the blonde groans as her phone vibrates. Pulling back the covers and peering around the room that glows with the pale light of approaching dawn, she spots her cell lying at the foot of the bed and reaches for it with a frown. Staring at the name that flashes across the screen with gritted teeth, she briefly entertains the idea of simply switching the device off and shutting it away before flipping it open warily.
"Regina."
"Emm-... Sheriff... I think I may require your services."
The Mayor replies in a curiously clipped tone.
"... I'm on my way."
Closing her phone swiftly, the blonde rolls out of bed and pulls on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt; pulling the hood up to cast her face into shadow before slipping out of the room quietly. Shooting a glance toward Henry as he sleeps in the armchair, she pads into the kitchen and scribbles a note on a scrap of paper before letting herself out of the apartment.
Please be okay. Just-... Please be okay.