This one has a bit of angst and bitterness. Not that much that it warrants a warning, but still, here it is.

Summary: Hiccup needs some time to adjust after he wakes from the battle with the Red Death. In the meantime, he also discovers he has more unconditional support than he thought.

Adjustments

It was all just bad timing, really. This was one of those few moments where he would just stop; he would look down, and stare at the metal-and-wood contraption that now stood in place of his leg and foot. It was one of those moments of self-pitying, that he absolutely HATED being absorbed into.

A week since he'd woken up. Hiccup knew he should be grateful to be alive. He knew he should be grateful that Toothless was alive. His father, his friends, his people. He'd taken a huge risk to save them, but... in those fleeting moments where bitterness struck him as suddenly as lightning in a summer storm, he RESENTED them for losing his leg.

It freaked him out – he would try to inch away from those thoughts immediately, but they would still burn numbly at the back of his skull; unbidden, unwanted.

Hiccup was at home, in his loft, half-heartedly going through some projects. Toothless was outside, basking in the fleeting sunlight, dozing off after playing with other dragons.

There was a knock on the Haddock household's door; Hiccup stood from his desk, muttering under his breath, thoughts still riddled with negativity, mind laced with bothersome worries.

It all happened too fast.

One minute Hiccup was climbing down his stairs, the door opening without his say to reveal a smiling Astrid holding a basket; the next, the world around him spun sickeningly and tumbled in loops right before he hit the ground.

"Hiccup!" Astrid scrambled to his side in a heartbeat. Her feet – both of them – came into focus as he blinked the dizziness away. His shoulder hurt. "Are you alright?"

His leg hurt.

"I'm fine."

His pride hurt.

"Here, I'll help you up." She kneeled next to him and took hold of his hand. A gesture that would have set his heart drumming not too long ago, but now it just felt like a kick in the gut.

Hiccup wrenched his hand away. "I don't need your help." His voice was croaked, cracked, coarse; like he had a lump lodged in his throat. He looked her straight in the eye, almost daring her to insist... But she didn't.

"Okay, fine. You're right." But all she did was inch away a little. She remained close, with her knees set on the floor, her hands half-lifted to her sides so she could provide any necessary support, waiting for him to stand on his own. And he did; Hiccup wobbled a little when he put some support on his left leg and his shoulder throbbed with a dull ache, but other than that he was fine.

"I can do this," Hiccup almost growled, now standing. He tapped the metallic foot on the floor. In the back of his mind, he knew none of this was her fault, but the fall hadn't helped his mood, and reason didn't seem to want anything to do with him that day.

He saw the look on her face. A flash of pity; he wanted none of that. He could tell she wanted to say something, but seemed lost as to what.

Astrid cleared her throat. "I brought you some…well, my mother sent me… oh."

She retrieved the basket she'd dropped by the door when she came rushing in. Luckily, nothing had fallen out. Hiccup winced as he took a couple of steps toward the table at the centre of the household, where Astrid had set the basket.

"It's minced yak pies. Your dad loves them, right? And you didn't come for lunch today, so I thought… we thought – my mom and I, both – we thought you might like them. You and your dad, of course. And you, because you need to eat up. Right? And these are good. Mom's a great cook. She's… yeah, they're for you. Both. Well, both the pies and both for you and your dad."

Wow. She was making him feel nervous.

"Thanks," said Hiccup drily, his stomach unresponsive at the sight of food. He really just wanted to be alone at this moment, but didn't want to just tell her to leave. His head thudded dully.

"Do you want me to cut you a slice now?"

Hiccup felt like the gentleness in her voice was something he still needed to adjust to. She used to only talk to him on occasion, but now she'd spoken to him every day since he'd woken up… It just didn't make sense right now. His head was still throbbing.

"No, thanks. I'm fine right now."

What was happening?

"You should eat up," Astrid pulled three pies from the basket, "To get your strength back."

He wasn't sure.

"I told you I'm fine."

The way she looked at him. What did it mean?

"Hiccup, stop being so stubborn." Her hand had found a cutting knife; she buried the tip of the blade in one of the pies. "You're bleeding. You need to –"

Why did she care?

"… what?"

Oh. He'd said that last one out loud. Hiccup tapped his left hand on the side of his father's chair; he'd rather look at the carvings on the wood than at her. His head ached some more, just for good measure.

"Why should you care, anyway. Why now, all of a sudden? Why do you care?"

There was a small, tense pause. Hiccup raked the nail of his index finger on the wood and detachedly watched the tiny indent it created across the surface. He thought of all the times his chest would clench whenever she walked by; he thought of all the times he'd smile to himself whenever she talked to him; he thought of all the nights he'd spent awake, wishing she would notice him.

Now she was finally so close, in his own house, talking to him, and he didn't even want to see her. He wanted her to be somewhere else. He wanted to be left alone. He wanted the damn pounding in his head to go away.

"All... of a sudden?" Astrid repeated, disbelief etched into her features. She put down the knife, slowly. "Hiccup, I, just..." She struggled with the words again, for a moment. She seemed distressed. "I just want to help."

Hiccup scoffed; he didn't want her help, or anyone else's.

"I'll be fine by myself. I always am."

"You don't have to be by yourself," Astrid insisted, and he noticed a hesitation in her. Her body swayed and stopped, as if she were planning to make a move but suddenly changed her mind.

"I'm used to it." He made sure to stress the bite in his voice, to not hold back on all the frustration he'd carried inside for years.

One look, and he knew she knew. She understood what he was talking about, all the implications behind his words. And yet, still, she seemed to waver; as if she were lingering on something. Slowly, gently, she extended her hand out to him, but stopped mid-motion.

"I'm sorry," she muttered under her breath, her entire presence laden with uncertainty as she reached for the emptied basket instead of him. She left without another word, and Hiccup then noticed, dolefully, that the emptiness of the house brought him absolutely no comfort.

Hiccup ran his hand through his hair; he grimaced at the blood stain on his palm and fingers. He cleaned his forehead on the washbasin, staring at the water as it turned a shade of pink. The cut wasn't deep; he managed to stop the bleeding before going outdoors to sit by Toothless' side.

The dragon greeted Hiccup with a sleepy gurgle, his scaly body warm and comfortable to lean against. Hiccup sat there until the sun set beyond the horizon, disturbed only by his own thoughts.

Two days later, Hiccup decided it was time to pay the smith a visit. Just walking over felt out of place to him; everywhere he went, people would send him fond greetings. He scurried into the forge, relieved to find only his mentor inside. In three minutes, he had a steaming mug placed in front of him.

"Feelin' better?" Gobber asked behind the veil of vapour wafting from the cup of brew in Hiccup's hand. The hot water stung his tongue and throat but helped soothe the knots in his stomach, and the calming herbs boiled in the water made Hiccup feel a little more relaxed.

"Somewhat. Thanks," Hiccup nodded courtly at his mentor, thankful for his presence. Gobber had always had a way to understand him, to reach out and imprint words into his brain. For whatever reason, Hiccup had always been a little more willing to heed to this man's words, even over his own father's.

And now, they both shared a common pain.

Hiccup looked down at his leg, frowning for the umpteenth time.

"Scowlin' at it won't make ya foot grow back, Hiccup," Gobber advised, one huge hand coming to rest upon Hiccup's petite shoulder; he gave it a small, reassuring squeeze. "And neither will shutting your friends out."

"Friends," Hiccup sneered at the word, as if it tasted foreign in his mouth. "They only wanted to hang out with me after I started doing well in the Arena." He winced at the memories of his mostly-unintentional success. "When the hype dies down, they'll all forget –"

Gobber's meaty finger stood straight in front of Hiccup's nose, cutting him off. "Hold on just one second, now. They all supported you then. They looked up to you, after you proved yourself."

"It was all tricks," Hiccup shook his head, remembering his own father's words. "All lies."

"No, Hiccup. Just because ya weren't fighting them with ye fists or blades, doesn't mean what you did was wrong. It was your approach," Gobber said with a bolstering smile, "and who'd have thought it could be so impressive, eh?"

Hiccup shrugged, wondering if his method really was that admirable.

"Besides," the burly man took a seat on the bench by Hiccup's side; the wood creaked in protest under his weight. "They trusted you. If they hadn't, they never would have hopped on a dragon's back to fight that devil with ya. They followed you – because they believed in you."

Hiccup considered the words. He was so used to being belittled or ignored that getting accustomed to this idea only made him more confused. In the heat of the moment, when he was setting the other teens up with their dragons, this didn't even occur to him. He was all adrenaline, all rush, his mind sharp yet focused only on the task at hand, all else secondary.

Now that he'd had nothing to focus on, his mind kept wandering and drifting off to where it shouldn't. Back into that gruelling ache for approval.

"Ye made a plan and led them into battle. Ye saved your people, and the dragons. We've been makin' peace with the beasts, as much we can. Ye just need ta stop feelin' sorry for yourself," Gobber patted Hiccup's back with hearty vigor, "and give everyone else a chance."

Gobber let this sink in for a few minutes, as he stood up and lurched about; Hiccup stared distantly at the wet leaves stuck to the bottom of his empty mug before setting it down, as his mind reeled back into place.

He was the one who needed to give everyone else a chance?

"Now," Gobber sat back down at Hiccup's side with a mug of ale, "you were tellin' me Astrid swung by…" Hiccup winced, looking back. He didn't even know why he'd told this particular fact to Gobber, but the words had simply careened out of his mouth.

"And I shut her out. I mean, I just… she was being so nice. I'm not really…" Hiccup shrugged, his shoulders slumping as his head dipped between his hands. "I'm not used to that. It just felt strange. I don't even know –"

"Why ya did it?"

Hiccup nodded then, looking up at the smith with a sour expression. "I was an idiot," Hiccup mumbled and groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath. He just wanted to stop feeling shitty, to stop feeling angry at the world and at himself. It wasn't even like him, to feel self-pitying.

"I've been there before, Hiccup. I know what it's like. Your body went through a lot, now your head just needs to adjust. You can do it – you're strong," there was a reassuring emphasis placed on this world; he said it like he believed in it, and, now, so did Hiccup. A little. "Ever since ye were a wee lad. But there's nothing wrong in lettin' others help you."

"I guess I have some apologizing to get to, then."

"Quite a lot. You owe her some gratitude, after all. Did ye know what happened after ya killed that nasty beast of a dragon?"

Hiccup thought back; he had no recollection of falling into the fiery blaze, but the memories of how desperately he and Toothless tried to escape the inferno still haunted his sleep. He hadn't even talked to his father about the events – Stoick didn't seem to want to linger on the memories very much. Hiccup shuddered, before shaking his head.

"Astrid's the one who carried you back to Berk. She flew here all the way with you unconscious on that Nadder of hers and left you with the healers. Then she gathered the fishing boats an' showed them the way to the Nest as fast as possible."

The boy smiled despite himself; that sounded like Astrid, alright.

"But the moment she came back, she went to check on you." Hiccup frowned; he had no idea Astrid had been to see him while he was out cold… Gobber took a large swig of his ale and smacked his lips. "Aye, every day the lass went to see how ye were doin'. Helped feed you honeyed milk and chicken broth t'keep ye strong, even."

"She did?" Now this had caught Hiccup utterly, completely unaware.

"Aye, lad. An' she went lookin' all over the place for anything the healers asked for. Ye broke down into a fever, ye did. Nasty one. Astrid never stopped helpin'. Look, she made me promise not to tell, but…" Gobber lowered his voice looked around, though there was no need for that; they were completely alone, just the two of them. Hiccup leaned in nonetheless, his curiosity now absolutely peaked. "One day, she was so tired after helpin' people out – ye know, with the dragons an' rebuildin' the ships – that she went ta visit you an' fell asleep on your bedside. Sat there sleepin' all the way through dinner, 'till Stoick got home an' woke her up. I think that deserves some appreciation, don't you?"

It did, indeed.

Hiccup knew Gobber was still talking – he could year his mentor's voice, but the words made little to no sense to him (was it something about the forge?). All Hiccup had in mind, right now, was apologizing to Astrid…and going on a refreshing flight might just help him ease into the task.

Hiccup apologized hastily, distractedly cutting Gobber off mid-sentence, before calling Toothless out. The Night Fury – who'd been hanging upside-down on a ceiling beam, asleep – immediately awoke, excited to take flight.

They were up in the air in a matter of seconds. Hiccup hadn't flown in nearly two days; and now that he was among the clouds, he really couldn't understand why he'd been avoiding it in the first place.

"Alright, bud!" Hiccup yelled into the wind as his best friend plummeted in a downward spiral at vertiginous speed. The thrill of velocity settled in his chest, spurring him into an elated state of adrenaline-fuelled glee. After a series of air bound acrobatics for the best part of an hour, Toothless' flight became more relaxed. Their initial bout of energy had been somewhat spent, and both of them merely enjoyed hovering over Berk's scenery, appreciating the details on the mountain side, revelling in the explosion of green from the trees underneath.

Eventually, their wanderings took them to circling the air near the Cove. Hiccup hadn't been there since…

"Hey bud, how about we take a break, maybe catch us some fish? What do you say?" Toothless chirruped, immediately turning toward the familiar area.

Boy and dragon descended upon the transparent water of the lake, the flight now slow and languorous as they both admired their reflection upon the still water's surface. Hiccup was so distracted that he almost fell from the saddle when he heard someone call his name; it was only then he noticed a familiar figure, sitting on a rock by the water's edge.

Toothless landed swiftly. Hiccup climbed down and watched, somewhat surprised, as the Night Fury approached Astrid and nudged her amicably, before walking over to the snoring Stormfly and settling down at her side. Upon noticing his rider's hesitation, Toothless nodded as vigorously as possible toward Astrid. Something in the way he squinted at Hiccup suggested Toothless might very well drag him to the girl's side if he didn't move soon.

Hiccup cleared his throat. He had meant to apologize to Astrid for his behaviour, but he would have needed to think about how to do it before approaching her. During his flight, he'd though of nothing – aside from that feeling of freedom, and the fact that he was so thankful he'd survived.

He'd not thought about what he was going to say to Astrid when they met again. He hadn't planned for a lone encounter. Why was she here…?

"Hi," he mumbled.

"Hey," she greeted back rather blandly, balancing her booted feet by the water's edge. Hiccup could tell she had been practising; her chest raised and lowered heavily, her cheeks were tinted red from her efforts, her hair clung messily around her face and forehead. Even her arms were reddened as she casually leaned back on them, both hands set solidly upon the stone, supporting her weight as she almost unperceptively swayed back and forth. Her axe was nearby, he noted, lodged deeply into the bark of a very gnawed, abused tree.

Hiccup swallowed back the pathetic restlessness he felt biting at his tongue, letting it settle at the very bottom of his stomach. He breathed in and shut his eyes tightly; for a moment, he imagined he was back up in the skies, soaring carelessly among the clouds, allowing his chest to be filled with the lightness of flight. He let his breath go as he sat down beside Astrid, glancing over to the fish swimming carelessly under the see-through water of the lagoon.

He needed to say something. Anything.

"So… Do you… come here often?"

"No," Astrid replied, all too quickly. She adjusted her position, now slouching forward with her hands on her lap. Her eyes flicked briefly toward him. "Kinda, I guess," she shrugged noncommittally.

Hiccup noticed the sweat droplets on her heated skin; slowly trailing down her glistening forehead, around her soft jaw, across her pulsating her neck – pulled by this unseen force that brought all things in the world toward the ground.

A force they all had to struggle against on a daily basis. It was the same force Hiccup defied each time he sat upon Toothless' back, as black wings cut the chilly air around them, each powerful movement putting more and more distance between their two bodies and the ground underneath.

He wondered if this force was also the one responsible for attraction. More specifically, for the attraction he felt toward Astrid… sometimes he'd feel a pull toward her, a longing to entwine his fingers with hers, to drink in every single detail about her. He felt it right now, in such a contrast from what he'd felt only two days before.

"What?" The sharpness in her voice cut off Hiccup's train of thought; he hadn't meant to stare for too long. Her heated cheeks and icy blue stare nearly made him want to cover his face with his hands, but he bit down the impulse. He focused his attention on the hem of his fur vest instead.

"Nothing, I was just…" I was just looking at you and thinking you look ridiculously pretty and dangerous when you look at me like that. "There's a scratch on your arm."

Astrid paused, then, looking at the small scraping below her right shoulder pad. She shrugged, seemingly only noticing it after he'd pointed it out.

"You still have a few on your face." She smiled at him; a small pull of her lips, but a smile nonetheless. Hiccup felt his own cheeks stretch out in reply. The marks on his face hadn't fully faded yet, but none of them was deep enough to leave a scar.

"I'm sorry about the other day," he finally said, unable to meet her eye. "I wasn't myself." He waited; he waited for her to say something, to acknowledge his apologies, to tell him she understood and that it was okay.

But she said nothing; her smile receded as her lips settled into a small, straight line. Hiccup cleared his throat, a trace of nervousness forcing the tips of his fingers into a slight tremble.

"I was being – "

"It's just that – "

They started and stopped speaking at the very same time, gawking at each other confusedly. Hiccup tilted his head sideways; Astrid bit her lower lip.

"Ladies first," he said immediately. He tried focusing his attention on the warmth of the rock he now sat on; on the rough texture of the stone under his hands. But he kept looking at her, fleetingly.

"Fine," Astrid said, shrugging as she readjusted her position. "Look, I care about you." She said this so bluntly, so directly – straight to the point. Not a hint of hesitation. Hiccup thought back to how she kissed him the day he woke up. He wondered what he was supposed to make of it.

"And that's just the way things are. I can't help it. I just…" she turned to him then, as her fingers brushed her bangs away from her eyes. "Remember the day I found out about Toothless?"

That's a day he'd never forget; or the day after, for that matter.

"The things you said to me… about meeting Toothless, about the dragons and all the things you found out. You were so passionate about it," Astrid's eyes had turned up to the skies now, as if reminiscing about the very first moment she had tasted flight. "You showed me so many things that night. And the day after. And then…" Almost timidly, her hand moved to grasp his; she gave him the lightest squeeze, and moved his hand over to her lap to examine the faded pink scratches upon his skin.

Hiccup's chest thrummed with that all-too familiar sensation. Somehow, it still felt somewhat surreal; that the dream girl he'd admired from afar for so long, the perfect stout Viking warrior, actually had feelings like this. That she would take his hand with such care, and be so gentle with him; that she would worry about him, and approach him in such a way.

"You looked like a mess when I brought you back home," she said, her voice firm but low; her thumb now idly tracing the dull marks on the back of his hand. "I was afraid you wouldn't wake up."

Astrid flicked her braid over her shoulder with a swift movement of her head, rivulets of sweat still descending from her neck. She didn't let go of Hiccup's hand. "I guess I never really gave you a chance before, but... I'm hoping you'll give me one, now."

Hiccup didn't know what to say. He smiled openly, then, remembering Gobber's words. He nodded vigorously, and he almost felt like laughing. "Of course I will."

"Okay then," said Astrid, gently mimicking his head movements. "So… we're good?"

"We're good," Hiccup repeated. She cared about him. She cared about him. He kept on smiling.

"Right. So… Don't make stupid questions again," she scolded, sweetly, punching him on the arm in a not-so-sweet fashion.

Hiccup chuckled nervously. "I'm sorry about that. Actually... I'm sorry about everything that day. I was -"

"I understand," Astrid cut him off, but gently so. "I get that you're going through things. I'm sorry I insisted on the pies."

Hiccup scratched his head, concerned. She had nothing to apologize for; he did. "No. That was on me - they were pretty great, by the way." He added hurriedly, before she had a chance to insist on her apologies.

"So you did eat some?"

"Yeah... my dad kinda made me eat. I'm glad he did, though. Then he ate the rest all by himself."

Astrid giggled despite herself. "He does have an appetite."

"Yeah..."

They sat together in silence for a while, admiring the sun's reflects on the body of water, until their dragons awoke. He couldn't remember seeing her laugh so fairly and carefree as she did when Toothless and Stormfly suddenly jumped straight into the water, splashing both of them in the process.

This was a side of Astrid he had yet to discover. And when her lips swiftly came searching for his, before they took off on a flight back home, he wished for all the time in the world to unveil every secret there was to know about her.

And then he realized; there was finally peace between Vikings and dragons… He had time. He really could get used to this.

END

Sorry if I've been AWOL, but hopefully I'll get back on track and I'll manage to tackle the requests asked of me. Thanks for your patience and for the kind words. :) I drink them all up!