A/N Sooooo I'm back with another chapter! Submit fast so I can start the reapings! I'm looking forward to killing off your tributes :)

Van Likarr, 34, Capitol Banker

"Honey! Did you hear the news?"

That's my wife. My sixth wife to be exact.

"No I didn't. Do you really think I would waste my time reading the newspaper?"

She's a stupid bitch. I'm just using her. Stealing her money. That's how I roll. My wives generally put me in charge of their money. Ya know, cause I'm a banker and I'm supposed to be good with money. I just transfer it to my bank account, little by little until there's nothing left. They never notice because they never check their account. It's easy as that. After I steal their money, I either hire someone to kill them, or I divorce them. Well, I ask for a divorce first and when they say no, I kill them.

"Someone was shot in the gamemakers' planning room!" she says as she walks into the room.

I'm sitting on the couch watching TV. Not the news though, the news is for bitches.

"You think I care? Make me a sandwich. I'm hungry." I say.

"Okay! Just turn on the news, you're not going to like it."

She sounded serious. I should probably turn on the news... nahhhh. The news is for bitches.

I love money. Money is my life. I grew up in a poor family. My parents barely had enough money for me to go to college. I learned how to deal with money, and how to invest. I also learned how to scam.

It was my english professor. He was a heavy scammer and was just teaching as cover. He saw me scam my roommate in the middle of class once so he decided to teach me how to scam.

Been doin it ever since.

My first and third wives were rich, until I stole all of their money and had them killed. Ever since my third wife, I've been rich. But I kept stealing. I wanted to be the richest man on the planet. Marry, steal, kill. Marry, steal, kill. That brings me to my sixth wife. This one. She's a rich bitch and she's dumb too. I figured it was inheritance money since she didn't have a job.

The peacekeepers and detectives in the capitol? Fat donut eating tubs of lard with brains the size of peanuts. They still don't see what I'm doing, so I'm just going to keep doing it.

I hear my wife walk back into the room and then she says, "You haven't turned on the news yet? It's important! It really is!"

"The news is for bitches." I say.

She hands me my sandwich.

It's turkey...

"I'M ALLERGIC TO TURKEY YOU DUMB FREAKIN BLONDE! YOU TRYIN TO KILL ME?"

That just ticks me off. Dumbest blonde on the planet right there.

"You're not even allergic to turkey! I was with you when you went to the doctors! It's pork that you're allergic to, not turkey!"

Oh shit.

"Mah bad. So what's so important on the news?" I ask.

She takes the clicker from me and switches the TV to the news.

"For those of you who haven't been following this story, there was someone shot while breaking into the gamemakers' planning room on Thursday. Officials have identified this person as Lucy Fir, the psychotic Satanist that broke out of prison about a year ago." says the reporter.

Yea? So how does that affect me?

The reporter then says, "Head detective Florence Gam suspects this to be some sort of conspiracy. We will now see why he believes this to be a conspiracy."

A fat guy with a fedora and trench coat appears on the screen and says, "As most of you probably know, this year is the 666th year of the Hunger games. That means that Satanists will be doing tasks for Satan more frequently, and we assume that the Illuminati will also be plotting."

The Illuminati? Ha! That's just a myth. This fatass really believes in that shit?

"As a result, we are putting everyone with a vast amount of money under surveillance for the time being. If you're wondering why, you should look up what the Illuminati actually are."

Oh shit. That's not good... everybody knows me. I'm the fifth richest man in the Capitol not including President Eoj Nilats and Head Gamemaker Nib Nidal. They may catch on to me... I'll have to postpone my scams on this blonde bitch.

I turn off the TV and finish the last bite of my sandwich.

"Wife, we're going to lay low for a little bit. At least until things calm down."

Yea... I forgot her name.

A/N: And there it is! I had him swearing a lot because it seemed like it fit his character better.

1. Should I tone the cussing down a bit, or is it okay with you guys?

2. What do you guys think happened to Lucy?

3. Should I make Van appear more throughout the story, or would you guys prefer I simply left it at this?

4. Anyone see what I did with the president and head gamemaker's names? You get to send in a sponsor gift of your choice if you can figure it out! :)

And finally, submiiiiiittttttt. You shalleth be dubbed swagmeister if you submit!

Thanks to all of you have reviewed, I never really got why reviews were important until I checked the reviews!

Oh yes, and you should also tell me what I can improve on and what I should keep doing :)

See you next time! :D