They had spent the past three evenings at Meredith's. Maggie was working the night shift and Alex was going to anger management classes at the recommendation of his attorney. They cooked dinner and spent the evening in a nightly routine with the kids doing homework and baths and story time. Arizona and Meredith would then spend the next hour or two talking and casually making out before Arizona would leave for the evening. Meredith sighed heavily and said "I wish you didn't have to leave."
Arizona placed her forehead against Meredith"s and said "I know, me too. But I want to do this right. I want what we have to be more than just sex. I'm not good at relationships I want this one to be different, can you understand?"
"Of course I understand, doesn't mean I have to like it. I really want you. I want to share that part of me with you." Replied Meredith.
"Meredith, when we do make love for the first time, I promise you it will be worth the wait." Arizona kissed Meredith one last time before she left for the night. She knew she was holding back. She knew why she holding back. She didn't know how to explain it to the woman she was slowly falling for. She felt safe when she was with Meredith. She hadn't felt like this in a long time.
Her broken marriage had left her feeling like she wasn't good enough. She thought that her and Callie were on the right track. They had survived their therapy challenge. On the last night they had made love for hours. She was ecstatic, the next day would be the end of their trial separation. They were going to be okay, or so she thought. The next day Callie told her she wanted to be free. She was blindsided. That crushed Arizona. How could Callie make love to her and then tell her that she was didn't want be with her anymore? It didn't take Callie long to find someone who made her 'happier than she had ever been.' That was another blow.
Arizona had thrown herself into he fellowship. All she needed was work and her daughter. It wasn't until Callie had already moved on that she decided to go out again. That's when trivia with Richard began.
The custody trial was just an extra blow to her self esteem. Yes she had won. But a lot of things were said about Arizona to make her out to be a horrible Mom. It was true that she had never wanted kids. Now she couldn't imagine her life without her daughter. She had wanted more. She did want a child with her DNA. She wanted the experience to feel life growing in her. Mother Nature didn't feel the same way.
It was just another disappointment in her life. She had continued her therapy for a long time after her divorce. She wanted to make sure that her relationship with Meredith was built on a strong foundation. It didn't just affect them. There were 4 children that she did not want to disappoint. She was going to do this right.
She didn't really have anyone to confide in. She spoke with her mother earlier in the day. The older woman was happy that Arizona had finally decided to try again. She knew that the divorce had changed her daughter and then right when she was beginning to be her old self again, Callie decided to move away with Sofia. That had really messed with the blonde. Sofia was the only reason Arizona had not lost it. She held on for her. But if Callie moved and took the little girl away from Arizona what would Arizona have to hold it together for? They were so happy when Arizona won custody but were equally shocked and disappointed when she let Callie take Sofia anyway.
Barbara told her daughter that she needed to stop blaming herself for the end of her marriage. Yes she realized that Arizona had made mistakes but she pointed out that Callie was not perfect. It takes two people to make a relationship work and it also takes two people when a relationship fails. She told Arizona that it sounded like Meredith was making Arizona happy again and although she vaguely remembered meeting Meredith a long time ago, she would appreciate a proper introduction. Arizona smiled at that, she knew she could count on her mother to be a good sounding board.