ONE NIGHT STAND
CHAPTER 2 : Understanding
NOTE: Big thanks to Ravensumara for Beta-ing this chapter for me.
PEETA
Dad is about to fire me. I'm totally distracted, it's not even noon and I've already drop a tray of donuts and burned some cheese buns...
I can't stop thinking about this, yesterday I was wondering myself if I was going to spend my life all alone, boring myself to death in this town, I was drowning in this routine , run, work , go home , paint ... but did not expect to get out of this routine so abruptly. Today I have a daughter, and a whole lot to deal with.
I feel guilty , I know this is serious , But I'm an adult and should be thinking about how to solve this situation and what to do with the little girl but seriously every time I try to think of something ... I get distracted thinking about her. I need to see her again she is beautiful but she seems so sad, I think back to Prim , leukemia , transplant ... My mind is running in circles and I can't control them.
I came home last night and find out everything I could on the internet, I still have many doubts about Prim particular case, I'll have to ask Katniss ...Katniss
I'm pretty sure she was expecting for me to run to the hills ... Here I go again thinking about this girl as if my life were not complicated with far more important things than gray eyes and her plump perfect lips.
I talk to Rye yesterday. He is not always a complete idiot, especially when you really need his help- he can be a good brother.
His main concern was that what if Prim was not mine.
"Peeta this is ... ever heard of condoms? You barely knew this girl how could you be so stupid?"
Its a fair question.
"I used a condom Rye! But I was a drunk and it all happened really fast, the damn thing must have broken and I did not notice"
"I have to ask… how could you be sure the girl is yours."
Another fair question but…
"I just know Rye...I saw a picture of her, she really looks like me. Katniss has dark hair and gray eyes little one is blonde, blue-eyed ... she even has your dimples Rye."
"That's no guarantee sorry man".
"I know I know ... but I believe her." And I really do.
"Ok I guess the whole donor thing could count as a paternity test."
"Rye!" I warn
"I'm just processing it. It's shocking news followed by breaking hearts news... First you become crazy looking throughout the city for an unknown girl for months. Almost 4 years later she appears to tell you that you have a daughter and she is really sick and you need to get tasted in order to make compatibility tests for donor marrow... your life has just become a soap opera! Is the little girl going to make it? How bad is it?"
"I don't know"
"Well I don't know much about this but can I get tested for compatibility too?
I suppose you can". I look at him raising my eye brows
"I'm in!"
"Thanks Rye!" He is a good man, Rye used to take mom's beatings for me, and it should not surprise me that he is willing to do this, but the realization warms my heart anyway.
I turned to see the clock and it gives me goose bumps... it's almost time to see her but also time to confront things, ask questions and make decisions ..
when I get out of the bakery I practically run to " Sae 's " although it is still early but I'm really anxious to see her again.
I arrived to the restaurant and sit at the same table... almost five minutes later she is in front of me with a one said braid and a green camisole that highlights the color of her eyes... I'm staring again.
"Hello" she gives me a half smile
"Hi, it's early" she plays with her hands and I'm relieved that I'm not the only one who is so nervous.
"So"... she says
"so ..." I repeat
"Peeta I understand that this must be a huge shock to you and I wish I could give you more time to have assimilated this news, but timing is really important"
" I understand Katniss"
"I know you deserve a full explanation but I'm not good with words, I will try my best though."
And I'm grateful she starts at the very beginning
She explains what happened the day we meet, why she run after, that she had to come back to twelve because she had to start a new job and here she realized she was pregnant ..."I know you must have doubts but…" she blushes, looks down and continues
"I've only ever been with two men in my life and at that time there was no other choice, the baby could only be yours. "
"I try to find you after but I didn't know anything about you so it was impossible at the time".
"How did you find me now?"
"Well now the odds were actually in my favor because my friend Jo has this new job at Capitol College and she cares enough to risk it...she met a guy who works at the archives and she flirted with him so he agreed to helped her find an guy named Peeta who studied business ...Lucky us Peeta is not a common name, that made things easier.
I name the baby after my little sister, she died shortly before Prim was conceived, and I always felt that she and Dad sent her for me... They died instantly when a drunk driver hit their car."
"I'm so sorry Katniss"
"Anyway, I was such a mess, that is why Jo forced me to go out that night, and once I got a couple beers in my system I just wanted to keep forgetting about everything. I'm grateful for you to give me Prim, you gave me hope, after the initial shock I realized I have something to live for, and I never expected how wonderful she was going to be. I didn't know I can love that way.
She is wonderful, so strong, she's been through a lot but she always has a smile for everyone."
"It is amazing how much she resembles you, I was in shock, and I remembered you have blue eyes, blond hair but she is just like you. I bring you some photos... here " she gave me an envelope full of pictures. "These are for you if you wanted them"
I start watching the pictures and I found one that makes me laugh hard "She scowls all the same!" I say and Katniss scowls to me what makes me laugh harder.
She says Prim was in a really bad mood that day. She starts to laugh to and I catch my heart pounding hard.
"She was a restless little girl, it was exhausting keeping up! I nod still smiling. But the mood changes abruptly
"That's how I knew something was wrong after her second birthday, she was always tired she used to have bruises all the time but now they were really big, she was very weak ... my mom, she is a nurse and told me to do some tests ... and well you already know the diagnosis."
"We started with radiation, follow by 3 cycles of chemotherapy, she lost all her beautiful hair, she was so sick and moody...it was a nightmare finally we ended with the chemo but 3 months later she has had a relapse and this makes her candidate for a transplant.. I'm not compatible ...everyone around us got tested for compatibility: mom, Gale, even Jo, donors bank. Nothing, Nobody." I'm listening very carefully, she goes on
"I was very scared because I knew that you were our only option but I had no idea how to find you ... Jo did all the work..."
"I can't imagine how hard all this has been for you."… "How is she now?"
"Well she is in the middle of another round of quemo, when she finish and she is in remission we can get the transplant…If we found a donor."She is looking at me pointedly
"Katniss I will do everything in my power to help. This morning I talk to the hospital so they could inform me about what I need to do... I'm going tomorrow, so is my brother if that's ok with you"
"You told your family already? What do they said? "
"Only my brother Rye he is a good guy, he is dying to meet you and Prim, he wants to help too is that ok?"
Are you kidding me? Is more than ok it's a lot more that I was expecting and more chances for Prim."
"I'll tell my dad eventually, I know he would want to help too."
her gray eyes cloud with tears of disbelief .
She says thank in a whisper and throws her arms around my neck
I'm surprised and a I react so fucking slowly that when I want to reciprocate the hug she is already letting me go. I'm barely on time to feel her against me but that's enough to make me feel dizzy.
"Sorry" she says embarrassed, "this is a huge relief, I was so worried you'd say no and yet you surprise me with your family support?"
"Katniss, I'm very sorry you've been through all this by yourself, If I have known at the time that you were pregnant I had never left you alone, or my baby, even if we didn't love each other ... from now on will try to be present if you allow it"
"I'll allow it"
"Good" I nod
"I would love to meet her soon"
"We will have to talk about that, but it's not like we were alone, Prim has a lot of people who loves her dearly, you'll have to meet them soon to."
She explains her situation, she lives in the same building as her mother and a woman called Hazel, both are nurses and help her taking care of Prim.
She works in the same hospital as a physiotherapist and this is very convenient for them because whenever Prim needs to be hospitalized there is always someone around, both at home and in the hospital.
She also has another job, as a bartender in his uncle Haymitch bar because the money is so tight. Apparently everyone is crazy about Prim and she isn't the exception because her eyes light up whenever she mentions her daughter.
We agree I will meet Prim on the weekend, I take the opportunity to ask a lot about Prim tastes, I want to gift her something, maybe baked goods or a doll.
I can't wait to meet her. I've been sending texts to katniss asking anything simply as an excuse to be in contact I must admit every time my phone sounds indicating that I have a response from her I feel like a smile forms on my lips. Three days to Saturday.
SUNDAY
I got everything I need, I froze some cookies with cars, animals and primroses I'm also bringing a cake I frosted with Katniss flowers, when I get a call…I take the phone and its Katniss
"Hi Katniss! Almost leaving"
"Um I'm sorry Peeta it will have to be at some other time Prim is in the hospital"
I feel my body freezing
"what happened?"
"She has a bleeding last night, the worst so far"
"you should call me last night Katniss! Dumb question but how is she?"
"The bleeding didn't stop Peeta I was so scared, I call Hazel and we brought her to the hospital. They were finally able to stop the bleeding but she needs transfusions, I was thinking maybe you could help us"
I don't' let her finish "Of course Katniss I'm on my way"
"I don't want you to feel forced or anything is just.."
I take a deep breath because I'm beginning to exasperate "Katniss I already told you I want to be there, every step of the way" I sigh "coming bye"
I hang up on her, frankly I am concerned she's angry at me but I feel a compelling need to be there, to be for them, I'm an ass I spent almost the entire morning here decorating cakes and cookies and they are alone in the hospital, I should had call her and I had known before, I let the cake, take the cookies and go to the hospital the faster I can.
I ask for Primrose Everdeen and I go to her room
Once there I open the door of this room but softly to avoid waking Prim she is resting but is the voice of a girl who answers
"come in"
I peer insecure and first thing I see Katniss sitting on a chair with her head resting on the lap of the little girl on the bed, she is fast sleep, I raise my eyes and the little girl has her index finger touching her lips telling me to keep quiet.
"shhh mommy is tired"
I nod and walk slowly enough to stay on the other side of the door ... and I take a moment to admire the little girl with bright blue eyes, she is caressing katniss head while staring at me nodding, she has an orange ribbon with white polka dots tied to his bald head with a big bow on the left side.. is a strange feeling, seeing her for the first time, it is as if somehow my body recognized her and I'm drown to her… I'm interrupted of my emotional trance and suddenly within the limits of a panic attack when she asks
"Who are you?"