Angie thought the people around her were fairly predictable; Steve and Tony would always have eggs after a night of "alone time", Clint and Tasha would wake up early on Thursdays and Sundays to train from 4 until 7 in the morning, then follow her to school, Peter would always run into school late on a Friday morning because he said out late on Thursdays because he had a study-group with Harry and Gwen so he got out later. But there was one person who always managed to surprise Angie. And we went by the name of Deadpool.
Angie held her lower stomach in pain.
"Damn period cramps" Angie hissed. She stumbled to the bathroom she shared with Pepper and Nat and opened the lower cupboard. Only to find that all of the period products had been taken.
"Damnit!" Angie growled "You think the CEO of a company or a master assassin would remember to buy some more pads when their out doing their thing" Angie groaned.
"Jarvis, please tell me at least Bruce is home? Or maybe even Loki?" Angie groaned
"No one is currently present in Stark Tower's aside from yourself, Miss Stark Rogers" Jarvis said. Angie hissed when she moved and managed to reach her phone. She speed-texted Tasha.
You'd think a master assassin would leave a few pads for her niece. You owe me big time, Nat -ASR
Angie crawled to her room and curled up on the floor, clenching her stomach.
"Jarvis, can you get DUMM-E to fill a hot water bottle for me? Or do something aside from standing there and not doing anything" Angie groaned
"Of course, Miss Stark Rogers" Jarvis said. Angie felt her phone buzz.
Patrol? -P
Not today, Petey. Not today -ASR
Why not? Stark called me to warn me you'd be home alone and to watch out for Deadpool -P
You're losing track, Pete. When do I only turn down a patrol, genius? -ASR
Shit. Sorry. Want Aunt May to make cookies? -P
I'm good. Pops made cookies yesterday -ASR
...where are mine? -P
Lol. Gotta run, talk later -ASR
Ange? I wasn't joking. Bring me those cookies! -P
Angie laughed and tossed her phone onto the bed as DUMM-E wheeled into the room.
"Miss Stark Rogers, I should inform you there is a person currently scaling the side of the Tower, towards your window" Jarvis said "I believe it is Mr Wilson. Shall I send out the Avengers alert?"
"No!" Angie exclaimed "Unlock the window. And, don't tell my dads. Or anyone, for that matter" Angie heard the click of the window being unlocked and a red gloved hand pushed it open.
"DUMM-E, go help Wade in" Angie ordered. The machine wheeled over and did as instructed. Deadpool had a bag slung over one shoulder.
"Hey, Stark" Wade grinned
"What brings you here, Wade?" Angie asked "You know my dads don't really like when you're here and they're not"
"You may have texted the wrong person earlier" Wade said. Angie's face paled. Angie curled up tighter in a ball, hiding her face in embarrassment. A bag landed in front of Angie with a light thud. In it was a box of pads, a box of tampons and several different types of chocolate and drinks.
"Not all master assassins leave their girls hanging" Wade grinned. Angie stared up at Wade in shock.
"Are you telling me you went to a pharmacy and bought this stuff for me because I texted you thinking it was Nat?" Angie asked "I'd like to see that!"
"Accessing security feed to Pharmer's Plus now" Jarvis said. A holographic screen appeared and it showed Deadpool walking into the store, wandering down the aisles until he found a box of tampons and pads. A couple of teen guys started to laugh.
"Havin a not so fresh day, dude?" one grinned
"Think its funny I'm buying tampons and pads?" Deadpool snorted "Do you gentlemen - and I'm using that term loosely - understand what this means?"
"You're on your time of the month?" the second guessed, earning a supportive shoulder bump from the teen beside him.
"This means that there's a woman who I am so intimate with that we're both comfortable with me buying her most personal possessions. This means our relationship is so trusting that I'm not embarrassed by doing this at all" Deadpool said as he moved past the boys and grabbed a handful of candy bars, along with a box of hot chocolate.
"It means, my friends, that instead of hanging out at a grocery store having a sausage fest with another guy playing the skin flute, I'm getting laid by a beautiful lady" Deadpool said. With that, Deadpool marched to the counter, dumped the items down and waited almost patiently for her to scan and bag the items before handing her a wad of cash, taking the bags and practically strutting out.
"That was impressive" Angie said "But you lied"
"How?" Deadpool crossed his arms
"I'm not sleeping with you" Angie pointed out
"I said I was getting laid" Deadpool smirked "Laid down. When you beat the crap outta me for no reason" Angie grinned, but winced. Deadpool helped Angie up.
"I'd go change if I were you" Deadpool said. Angie nodded.
"Good idea, Wilson" Angie nodded "It's weird"
Angie found Wade in the kitchen. She had had a quick shower before changing into sweats and a tank top. Wade was looking around the cupboards for something.
"Mr Wilson, I do believe the cups are to the left" Wade turned to the right "Your other left, Mr Wilson" Angie laughed.
"You are the first and only person to make an Artificial Intelligence sound exasperated, Wilson" Angie chuckled as she walked over. Wade grinned at her.
"What are you doing?" Angie asked
"Making hot chocolate" Wade said "I read that it helps cramps. Lifehacks, y'know?"
"Life whats?" Angie tilted her head
"Guess we don't follow the same things" Wade muttered as he poured boiling water into the two mugs he had found. He emptied a packet of hot chocolate into each mug before stirring them and passing one to Angie.
"Thanks, Wade" Angie smiled
"No problem" Wade smiled back "So long as your dads aren't secretly here waiting to shoot me. Then we'll have a problem"
"No, they're with SHIELD doing SHIELD stuff even though my dad isn't part of SHIELD" Angie dismissed "My uncle on the other hand, well, let's just hope you're out before he gets in"
"Which one?" Wade asked, glancing around in fear
"Let's just say, your options are Bruce, Loki or Thor" Angie muttered "Who do you really wanna go with?" Wade tightened his grip on the mug.
"Maybe I should get going" he muttered
"Maybe that's a good idea" Angie nodded "Thanks again for everything. I'll pay you back"
"No need" Wade shrugged "I do a solid for you, and one day you can do a solid for me. No money needed!" With that, the mercenary disappeared out a window.
Dragon hated when she lost. Because most of the times villains felt the need to humiliate her. Especially A.I.M, what with their fire-proof coils and such. Currently, Dragon was hanging upside down, tied in said fire proof coils. Any minute now, someone was going to come along, snap a picture and send it to the Bugle and it would end up on the front page tomorrow.
"Hey, Spidey!" Dragon winced at the voice. Here comes humiliation. Deadpool walked over.
"You are definitely not Spidey" He said
"No, I'm not" Dragon muttered "Get me down" Deadpool regarded her for a second.
"I'm pretty sure this is the wrong movie" Deadpool said
"What?" Dragon tilted her head. Deadpool smirked as he walked closer, his face inches from hers.
"I thought it was Spidey's thing to get upside down kisses" Deadpool smirked
"I-I don't-I'm not-just get me down!" Dragon stuttered. Deadpool didn't move.
"I think I'll need some sort of payment" Deadpool said "This isn't part of my normal package"
"How much?" Dragon muttered. If she took any longer she wouldn't be in by curfew and she'd get in shit for that.
"One kiss from Y.T." Deadpool beamed. Dragon glared daggers at the man.
"Fine, if you don't want to get down, I can just leave you here past curfew" Deadpool started to walk away.
"Wait!" Dragon called. Deadpool cast a look over his shoulder. Dragon couldn't really tell what it was because of that infernal mask of his, but she had a feeling it would be a smug grin of victory. Deadpool walked over and pulled his mask up to his nose. Before Dragon could glance at the bared skin, Deadpool pressed his chapped lips to her own. It was awkward and a little uncomfortable, but not unpleasant. And this was considering she was upside down and kissing a man she had never seen before. Before Dragon knew what was happening, Deadpool had disappeared and Dragon was on her ass in a pile of coils. Deadpool sheathed his sword as he walked off.
"See you around, lizard" Deadpool called. Dragon rubbed her butt before shaking her head and flying off.
Dragon was perched on the edge of a building, scowling at all the happy couples beneath her on the streets. Why there were so many happy couples out in November, Dragon would never know.
"Bitter much?" Dragon nearly fell from her perch, but managed to regain her balance and turn to see Deadpool there.
"What do you want?" Dragon muttered
"Just hanging about with my favourite reptile-themed hero" Deadpool grinned. Dragon rolled her eyes.
"What's with all the hate?" Deadpool pouted "We were getting along so well. Was it the kiss?" Dragon flushed at the memory.
"Shut up" Dragon muttered. She could practically sense the stupid, smug grin on Deadpool's face.
"It was, wasn't it?" Deadpool chuckled "You're really that phased over one little kiss?"
"Don't think I won't throw you off this building" Dragon growled. Deadpool wrapped his arms around Dragon with as much flourish as humanly possible, leaning on her back.
"You love me too much to do that" he winked. Dragon stood, pushing the man off of her.
"You're insane" Dragon muttered
"Just as sane as you, dearie~" Deadpool sung. Dragon moved to fly off, but Deadpool latched onto her ankle.
"But, in all seriousness, I did come up here for a reason" Deadpool added. Dragon sighed and landed.
"What?" she sighed
"You know that favour you owe me?" Deadpool reminded "I'd like to cash it in" Dragon rubbed her temples.
"I'm not killing anyone" Dragon said firmly
"No, no" Deadpool shook his head "Leave the killing to me, darling. I'd like to go for pizza. Just me and you; a date, if you will" Dragon stared at Deadpool.
"You have got to be kidding me" Dragon muttered
"I kid thee not" Deadpool grinned "I know a great place around the corner"
"You're seriously asking me out on a date? While in costume?" Dragon laughed
"Yeah" Deadpool nodded "Problem?"
"No, it's just...are you serious?" Dragon laughed "Why is it I always get the weirdest stuff happening to me?"
"So, is that a yes?" Deadpool asked slowly. Dragon thought about it for a second. Her dads would kill her. But, aside from that, what harm could one date do?
"Yeah, sure" Dragon nodded
"I'll meet you here, 7:00 tomorrow" Deadpool grinned "Just wear that" Dragon nodded before flying off.
"Wait!" Deadpool called
"What?" Dragon said "I have curfew, remember?"
"You're forgetting something" Deadpool said. Dragon landed and glanced around.
"What?" She asked.
"This" Deadpool had his lips pressed to hers before she could protest. Then, he was gone, running off across the rooftops.
"See you tomorrow, lizard!" Deadpool called. Dragon stared after the man. He was the most unpredictable man she had ever met. And deep in her heart, Dragon knew she loved that.