A/N:

Thank you for your follows, favorites and reviews, they put a big smile on my face.

Thanks to my patient, wonderful beta Peetabreadgirl for helping me fill in the blanks where I fall short, for your suggestions and especially for making my story readable.

Chapter 8

How could I let this happen again? It's like a mantra that I repeated all night, nonstop. A restless night it was. I feel like shit.

I'm a horrible person. Peeta was the one at the hospital, yet he is the one sending me messages, asking if I'm okay. I didn't come back, I don't answer his calls. I tried several times to send him a text but I always end up reading his over and over again.

It's been two days now and I simply can't.

"Mommy, is Peeta coming today?" Prim questions. She misses him and I can't bring myself to answer so I decide to change the topic.

"Come on sweetie, let's take a bath."

"Noooo," she whines. It's always the same in the beginning, then there is no human power that can get her out of the tub. I start by undressing her. I do it playfully tickling her because I know she can't resist that way. She is feeling better these days now that chemotherapy is over. She is gradually getting stronger.

"Go get your toys while I get the water ready." She squeaks and runs to her room in her birthday suit.

I hear someone knocking on the door. Mom said she might come home early today, but I don't think it could be her because she has keys. Prim comes to the bathroom with a duck and a huge variety of toys that barely fits into her arms. I get distracted explaining to her that she can't get toys with batteries in the water and completely forget about the door.

I begin to sing. Prim likes when I sing to her. I enjoy it, too. I stopped when dad died, but when Prim was a little baby I discovered singing to her was a magical way to put her to sleep. Although I love to sing with her, I think Prim's takes after my mother's side as her voice is pretty off tune. I wonder how Peeta sings? There's a knock at the bathroom door, directly behind me and I stand quickly, startled. Peeta's smiling face greets me around the door frame. Prim discovers him and splashes water everywhere in her excitement, soaking the toilet seat cover, her towel, the bath mat and part of my right pants leg.

"You scared me to death!" I say, hitting my chest with the palm of my hand.

"Sorry. I ran into your mom out front and she let me in. I was going to call for you but I heard you singing and I couldn't interrupt. Your voice is amazing. I didn't know you could sing like that," he says in awe and I feel how the warmness spreads through my face.

"It's okay. Just let me finish with her bath and she'll be all yours in a moment."

"Don't go, please Daddy." Prim lets out a hopeful whine.

"I will be waiting in the kitchen, little one." Prim is so focused playing she doesn't realize that her father just kissed her wet head. He kisses my cheek, too, before leaving the bathroom. I'm frozen.

What the hell am I going to do? He must be confused. I give him mixed signals apparently. First I'm going to see him and we kiss, then I visit at the hospital and he kisses me again; I let him and run away afterwards. I should add all that to the list of reasons why I am not a good choice for this guy.

"Okay sweetie, time to get out," I tell Prim, holding a dry towel out for her to step into.

"Noooo," the hard part begins.

"Come on honey, daddy is waiting outside and the water is getting cold."

"Just five minutes mommy, please?" She looks at me with eyes I can't resist.

Ten minutes later, I'm able to get my daughter out of the shower. I dry and dress her, she is learning to do it herself so we had some arguments in the process. I have yet to disentangle her hair when she runs out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her head, "Peeta!" She yells and he takes her in his strong arms and kisses her on the cheek. She still gets confused, some days calling him by his name and other times calling him dad. I think it will just be a matter of time. I love that he never corrects her. He lets her get used to the idea at her own pace.

"I missed you little monkey!" He says.

"Did you like my drawings?"

"Loved them! One is stuck in the honor place on my fridge at home and one at the counter of the bakery, that way I can brag about it with the customers, this beautiful drawing is made by my daughter. "

"Really? You tell them that?" She asks delighted. He is so good with her.

"Really." I think these two are crazy about each other.

Prim stakes her claim on Peeta until bedtime. They play, talk and snuggle up to watch some TV. He was the chosen one to untangled Prim's hair. Good.

Peeta insists it be him that takes her to bed, too. She clings from his neck and as if she is in denial of her tiredness, asks for five more minutes. Peeta, my savior, promises to tell her two stories and the problem is solved.

"Give mommy a kiss and let's brush our teeth."

I eavesdrop behind the bathroom door. "No, that's not my toothpaste daddy." Prim says to him like it's so obvious. "That's not how mommy does it," I hear Prim laugh.

"How does mommy do it, then? Show me."

They head to the room after figuring out how to brush her teeth. "Choose your bed time story, baby girl."

"My pillows are wrong. Mommy places them like this." Peeta takes everything nicely, laughs with her.

"A little bossy one you are." He tells her, sweetly and softly. I'm assuming he's tickling her, because I can't see, from the giggles and thrashing of covers. I hear him making voices and sound effects and I'm trying not to laugh behind the door. Prim won't sleep this way any time soon and I think I will probably sound lame the next time I want to tell her a story. I definitely can't compare to this.

I haven't heard anything for a while. I imagine Peeta has fallen asleep, too. Walking into the room I see I'm correct. Softly I pat Peeta on the shoulder. He startles and I mute a sorry to him. He gets up and walks a little slow and wobbly from sleep and I turn off the light and leave the room.

Outside, he takes me by the waist and gently pushes me against the wall, my legs weakening with his contact and proximity. "Can we talk now?" His gaze and his voice are so intense, he is looking straight into my eyes. I can't quite place his expression. Longing and a bit of hurt maybe? This leads to the surface all the guilty thoughts that have been clouding my thinking these days. His closeness is not making it easy for me to think straight.

"What do you want to talk about?" I already know the answer. It was a stupid question to ask and probably that's the reason why my voice sounded so week and childish.

"Really, Katniss?" he asks, annoyed.

I sigh and drop my shoulders while looking down at our feet. "I'm not good at talking, Peeta."

"We can start with you answering a couple of simple questions. What do you think?" This sounds like something I could do, so I nod my agreement.

He leads me over to the couch. He sits so close that our knees are touching. "Why did you leave the hospital? Why don't you answer my calls? What's going on with you?"

"You said simple questions."

He must see the utter desperation in my eyes because he gives me a knowing smile and says, "Okay, okay, one by one. I don't want to push you." He takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry but I'm freaking out, Katniss. Please talk to me."

I find it hard to just start talking so I look around the room for what seems like a while, even though it's only a few moments. Peeta breaks the excruciating silence.

"What happened? I don't understand, you basically run out of the hospital that day and I haven't been able to contact you since. I was just waiting to feel better to come see you. I was starting to worry that something happened to Prim. You just can't do that disappearing act thing, you know? There's more between us than just a one night stand." His words were like a punch of guilt in the stomach. He is totally right.

"Peeta, I'm so sorry, please forgive me." I am a horrible, selfish person.

"Baby, I have nothing to forgive, I just want to understand you."

"I couldn't stay there after the... after we..." My voice trails off because he is very close. So close I can feel his breath and I can't think like that. It makes me feel nervous and my stomach knots up uncomfortably, so he completes my sentence for me.

"After we kissed? Why not?" If I do know something it's that he wants to kiss me again, right now. And here, I know very well where we will end up. I lean back hoping that will break the spell he has on me, but apparently he finds my discomfort quite funny, so I scowl at him.

"You kissed me."

"You said I could."

"And what about Delly?"

"What does Delilah have to do with any of this?" He is surprised by my question. At least that erased the cocky smirk on his face.

I huff "You're quite the cynic, Peeta. Your mom said she was looking forward for you two to get engaged. "

He laughs and it makes me angry so now I send the death scowl his way. "Please, let me know when you're done making fun of me." That will freeze his laughter.

"Come on Katniss, don't get mad. I just can't believe Mom is still harboring that ridiculous idea and I also can't believe she said that to you of all people... You. This last part seems to be an admission to himself. He shakes his head and looks up at me before speaking. "Delly and I are just friends. That's why you were mad at me? You thought that I kissed you while I had a girlfriend or something? You don't think very highly of me don't you? " I feel so relieve for his admission that I let out a breath I wasn't aware I was holding until now.

"It's not that. It's just that everything has been so confusing lately."

We're back to the cockiness. "What confuses you, Kat?"

"You." I respond without thinking .Why on earth I can't think normally around him. "You confuse me."

He whispers while he takes a rebellious strand of my braid and places it behind my ear "Well, I'm not confused at all." I shudder at the contact.

What's that supposed to mean?

"Look Kat, I want us to communicate, and I know you are not comfortable with it but I really wish I knew what goes on in your head."

"My head is working overtime at trying to focus in Prim. I don't think I should be thinking about anything else."

"But Prim is so much more than this disease, baby. We've done everything in our power and now all we have left to do is just wait. I know it's hard, but there are other things we can focus on now to help us get through."

"Like what?"

"Believe me, she is my priority, too. I want to explore the possibility of you letting me play a more active role in her life and education. I wish you could accept letting me help take care of some of your expenses, or at least hers. I want you to show me pictures and spend hours with you while you tell me every little thing she's done since the day she was born, before I was in the picture. Like, when she walked for the first time, or what was the very first word she said. I don't know, everything, every little detail. But let's set Prim aside now, just for a moment." He takes a deep breath and I think I know where he's going now.

"Because for now, Katniss, I just can't focus. I just want to explore this possibility with you. I'm crazy about you and I want to know you better. I desperately want to know what I did to make you run away the other day at the hospital because I don't want to repeat it…But I think I know what it was and that gets me into trouble because I'm dying to kiss you again. "

Although his words have made my legs feel like jelly, they also reminded me of Prim. I can't be selfish and think of me right now. "I can't, Peeta."

"Why not?" He sounds so desperate. I have to explain myself better.

"Because, Peeta, we've been through this once and this had huge consequences. I have no regrets, though, because Prim's what I love most in the world and being with you was, well wonderful. But for her, I can't let myself get carried away again. What will happen if we, this…" I motion moving my fingers between him and me, "doesn't work? I mean, you have been amazing and I am convinced that you are the most kind and selfless human being I've met in my life, but we don't know each other very well yet..." He cuts me off midsentence.

"I disagree, Katniss. We've been basically living around each other with Prim's health and treatments. Getting to know her has been wonderful, and I'm madly in love with her, too. I've made every effort to be here for doctor's appointments, and any other kind of support that was needed and It has been completely my pleasure. We have dined together more times than I can count with my fingers... that has to count for something, right?"

Did I hear right? Did he say "in love", and "too"?

"Why? Why not give us a chance? It will be great for Prim, too. "

"And if it doesn't work?"

"And why isn't going to work? I'm nuts about you and I know you're attracted to me. There's this chemistry that not even you can deny. Prim loves me and I love her. We have everything in our favor Katniss. Plus, you've already said being with me was wonderful." He repeatedly raises his eyebrows when he says this. He is messing with me and it's working. I feel my cheeks burning. "Come on, just think about it. We can go as slow as you want."

I want to tell him no, that I'm scared to death and I'm not the relationship type.

"Katniss, just shut off your hyperactive mind for a while and give me a chance. I haven't stopped thinking about you since the night I met you. I shouldn't have let you go, well, after, that night, but I learned my lesson. I'm not going to let you slip through my fingers again." It's a strong possibility that I will combust if he keeps talking like this. I've never been spoken to this way by anyone before.

I voice my biggest fear out loud. "I don't want Prim to get hurt if this doesn't work."

"Katniss, I promise you, no matter what happens between you and me, I will always be there for her. She is my daughter, too. She stole my heart the very first day I met her, same as her mother." He is disarming each one of my doubts with his words. Although I am terrified of accepting what he's offering, I can't deny this is what I would dare to wish if I were the dreamer kind of girl. This is the option I would take if my life wasn't so complicated and if I wasn't so afraid to love.

Peeta puts his arm over my shoulders. "Just think about giving us a shot, okay?" I barely nod, still not sure what to think of all this, but it relaxes him enough to move on. "Now, let's watch TV for a while…" He sits and takes the remote. He embraces me and I slowly move closer to his body. I lay on his chest. His heart beat and the constant rhythm of his fingers tracing invisible patterns on my shoulder relaxes me. I start to doze off.

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