"Get out of my house before I show you how big a bully I can be!" Grunted Sirius.
Harry ran in between them. "NO! There will be no more fighting in this house! And no one is leaving until we settle this, and I don't mean with violence!"
"Harry, stay out of this. I don't want you getting hurt." Sirius muttered.
"I will not!" He shouted, refusing to move.
Suddenly, the door flew open.
"Expelliamus!" Shouted an angry voice. Both Snape's and Black's wands flew out of their hand and on to the floor. Harry turned to see an annoyed Moody eyeing the scene before him.
"Do I have to remind you two simpletons what Albus demanded of you? I am sure he wouldn't be happy to hear that nothing's changed since he left." Moody warned.
Snape grunted. He picked up his wand and strolled out of the room.
"I'm sorry, Moody." Sirius said. "I almost lost my temper again."
"Listen, Black. I don't expect you two to be chums, but the least you could do is stay away from each other. And just think, there are children in this room. Someone could have been hurt." Said Moody.
Sirius frowned. "I'm sorry children. Thank you for trying to calm me down Harry. I think I could benefit from some tea and a nap right about now. I'll see you at dinner." Sirius picked up his wand and went to his room, closing his door hard behind him.
Moody glanced at Harry and Hermione.
"Now, tell me, you two wouldn't be responsible for bringing them around each other now would you?"
"Harry and I just thought that getting them talking might be a good thing, you know, to gain some respect for each other. We figured that if they had something in common they could get along." Hermione explained.
Moody sighed. "I understand you two were trying to help, but your meddling almost caused another hullabaloo. They're grown adults, let them work it out on their own. Keep out of trouble, both of you." Moody turned around and left.
After he was out of earshot, Harry and Hermione began talking.
"That was a disaster!" Hermione whispered.
"You're telling me! I thought Sirius and Snape were going to off me faster than you-know-who!" Harry whispered back.
"Well, I guess we have to give up. It's out of our hands, Harry." Hermione replied.
"Give up? We have to do something Hermione!"
"But Moody said…"
"I don't care what Moody said! If we don't do something, Sirius could be thrown out of the Order. Lupin and him are the closest thing to family I have! If he gets thrown out, imagine how lonely he'll be. I hates being here as it is, imagine how he would feel if he was trapped here all alone." Harry said, his voice weakening.
"Oh, Harry. I just don't know what to do. Why don't we work on something tomorrow morning? I think we all need some good night's sleep." Hermione said gently.
Harry smiled. The two went upstairs to fill Ron in on, Merlin knew they needed all the help they could get.
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Fred and George had put plenty of sweat into their new prank. It was a masterpiece! It was silly, and for the most part harmless. They didn't get a chance to test it out, but hoped for the best. For hours, they labored in the kitchen mixing all sorts of concoctions. Then after it had thoroughly baked, they decorated it with colorful icing. They were so proud of it. Yes, it was a cake. But not just any cake. It was a magic cake. All they had to do was take a small bite and everyone would be rolling on the floor laughing at them. Hell, they would be laughing at each other!
George had instructed Fred to place the cake somewhere safe until after dinner. Then, before dinner, they would meet up in an old broom closet to discuss their plan…
Right Before Dinner
George snuck down the hallway, checking to see if the coast was clear. He continued until he reached a squeaky door. He turned its stiff knob and entered a dark cluttered room covered in dust, cobwebs, and buckets. He raised his wand.
"Lumos!" His wand illuminated the room and revealed his very bored looking brother half asleep sitting on an upside down bucket.
"Fred wake up!" Chimed George, giving his brother a shove.
Fred awoke with a start, falling off the bucket.
"Bloody Hell, George. What took you so long? I've been waiting here for half and hour." Said Fred.
"I told you to meet me here at 7 sharp. There was no need to be so punctual."
Fred coughed. "And of all places this bloody broom closet? Its nothing but a pit of dust! I swear I'll have one working lung by the time I leave here."
"Stop talking nonsense brother. Now tell me, did you do as I asked?"
"Yeah I did. I put the cake somewhere safe. I put it in the study after Sirius left."
"Good. Now lets go and get it." George said reaching for the door knob.
"Brother, by any chance did you completely close the door?" Fred asked.
"Yes I did."
"Umm you see, its kind of funny.."
"What's funny Fred?"
"I've actually been locked in here for half an hour and was waiting for you to come and open the door. The knob's old and rusty and locks…so um, "
"Please don't tell me we're trapped in here… Fred?"
"Please don't be mad George I meant to tell you.."
George shook the door and struggled with the door knob, but it would not budge. He heard someone walk by in the hallway.
"Help! Someone please, we're trapped in the broom closet!"
"The broom closet is where blood traitors belong. Mrs. Black would roll over in her grave to find mudbloods in the noble and ancient house of Black." Replied a cold, inhuman voice.
"Kreacher! Kreacher please open the door!" Shouted Fred and George.
"Kreacher does not take orders from mudbloods." Kreacher muttered as he walked away indifferently.
As Fred and George struggled to find a way out, someone else discovered their little surprise…..
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Snape skulked into the study and placed his book back on the shelf. It had been a good read, just what he needed while being stuck in a house with the most insufferable people. He swore, if he didn't have anything to read and take him somewhere else he would be in the asylum by now.
"Just a few more days, Severus. Then you can go home to your peace and quiet and that miserable coward can rot in this old crapshoot." He thought to himself.
He turned to leave, but found something of interest on the table. It was a large and delicious looking cake. But what on Earth was it doing here in a library?
"Bunch of nimrods leaving food all over. No wonder this place is crawling with mice." He muttered.
Snape carried the cake into the kitchen, unknowingly serving the Order much more than they bargained for…
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Dinner had just been finished. The Order members were sitting in their usual seats, chatting. Lupin and Tonks gave each other flirtacious glances. Hermione and Harry were laughing at Ron who had managed to drench his shirt in soup. Sirius giggled along with them. Snape scowled, just feeling utterly annoyed with life.
"Great soup my love." Athur said to Molly. He gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"Any desert mum?" Ron called out, his mouth stuffed with food.
"Oh yes dears, we have a lovely cake that Severus made." Molly replied.
"I did not make it, I found it." Snape scoffed.
"Found it?" Inquired Lupin politely.
"I found it on the table in the study. Some idiot must have left it in there." Snape said.
Everyone looked at each other. No one admitted to making it.
"You mean to tell me, that you found a cake in my study?" Sirius questioned, arching an eyebrow.
"That is what I said, now is it?"
"But no one here made it… so that means you must have baked it."
"I did not!"
"Don't get defensive, Severus. Maybe you can have your own cooking show. 'Snape's Greasy Delights.'" Sirius joked.
Tonks managed to stifle a laugh, but Remus couldn't contain his laughter. He was not one for bullying, but that joke was rather ironic.
Snape gave Remus an icy glare. He stood up and sliced a piece of the cake.
"Here Sirius. You can have the first slice. Tell me what you think of my baking skills." Snape said.
"I'll be the judge of this." Sirius said. "To think, the big mean Severus Snape in an apron baking…"
Snape slapped the cake into Sirius's face. Icing ran down his neck and splattered all over his clothes. Some of the cake went into his mouth and unfortunately, he swallowed.
The Order members gasped. Snape stood watching Sirius victoriously. Sirius whiped the cake off his face. He looked pretty angry. His face was red, and was constantly growing redder.
Then, all of a sudden, steam shot out of his ears. Everyone jumped back, even Snape, who was rather confused with what was happening.
As the steam blew harder, Black's face grew a deeper red. His eyes were wide and his face twisted as if he had eaten something very spicy. BANG! Fireworks of red, yellow, green, and blue shot out of his ears and nose. They bounced off the kitchen walls and shimmered to the ground in heaps of sparkling dust. Ron jumped under the table for cover, while the rest of the Order covered their faces with plates. Vibrant colors sizzled everywhere around the room, knocking down shelves and burning holes in the wall paper.
At last, the fireworks ceased. Black's face was swollen and red. His ears began to elongate and grow fur, and reached high above his head. His hands turned black and round like hooves, and a fuzzy tail sprouted from his back. He resembled some sort of donkey.
Sirius looked completely humiliated. The Order was traumatized. Snape was rejoicing.
"Well Black, the new look really suits you. It shows the true jackass you are inside." Snape remarked.
Black tried to clamor him with a hoof, but missed. He held his hooves to his swollen face. It burned with pain and was cherry red.
Molly rushed over and prepared some ice for him. "Poor dear, poor dear, poor dear." She repeated, still in shock.
"You dud dat on pupose. You poison meh" Sirius muttered from his swollen lips.
Snape smiled creepily. Out of his mouth came a deep, repressed chuckle.
"You see Black, revenge is a dish best served cold." Snape said.
He strolled out, his face gleaming with pride and malice.
