***This section and a few others allude to Trustshipping (at least I think that's the right name for it) because *shrug* I didn't even know the name of the Seto/Ishizu pairing so I had to look it up - The Shipper's List has got problems, man. Some of those pairings . . . wtf is wrong with our fandom.***

Bakura stared at Marik who stood staring at his cell phone as if he'd found another universe hidden inside it. "Marik? What was that text you just got?"

"She's pregnant."

"Who did you get pregnant?" Bakura screamed before he had a chance to think about what he said.

Marik looked up with a smirk. "You sound jealous, Bakura. Don't like the thought of me with someone else, do you?"

"I'm going to stab that smug look off of your face." Bakura clenched his hands into fists.

"Ishizu is pregnant, idiot."

Bakura snorted. "I can't imagine her ever having sex. Think she had her clothes on the whole time? She just seems too righteous to ever be nude."

Marik winced. "Don't say it like that. It's gross."

Bakura smirked. "That's how women get pregnant, you know. Fucking men."

"If you don't stop, you won't be fucking any men tonight because you'll be sleeping on the floor."

"Who's the father?"

Marik snickered. "She won't say. I think it's Kaiba."

They exchanged distasteful looks at each other as they tried not to think about it. Marik snapped his phone shut and grinned. "Bakura, I'm going to be an uncle."

"Yipee."

"Shut up. This is exciting."

"Maybe now she'll stop whining about me ruining her chance for nieces and nephews."

"I doubt it." Marik tugged at Bakura's shoulder. "Come on."

"What? Where are we going?"

"We have to go shopping."

"For what?"

"Baby stuff."

"It's a little early. I mean, it's going to take nine months before you see the little bastard."

Marik smacked Bakura's shoulder and scowled. "Don't call my niece or nephew a bastard, you bastard."

"Hmph, my parents were wed, making me legitimate. Unless Ishizu's also engaged . . ."

Marik pinched Bakura's ear, dragging him to the door. "We're shopping. Every time you say something facetious we're staying longer."

Bakura laughed, smacking Marik's hand but not very hard. "Let go, asshole."

"Fuck off."

Bakura jerked his ear free and smoothed his hair back into place. "Idiot, until she picks a nursery theme, everything you buy will be more or less useless. Get her maternity clothes instead."

Marik clenched his teeth for a moment. "Gods, I hate when you have a good idea. Okay, fine, but we have to buy something."