I got the feeling that Sam and Dean had dealt with this sort of thing before. I also got the feeling that they weren't they types of people to hug it out when in emotional turmoil, so I wasn't surprised when neither of them had some kind of nurturing instinct kick in that brought them running to check on me. Maybe they figured I should get used to this type of thing if I was going to be a hunter. Then again, maybe they were just getting rid of the bodies for me. Part of me thought that was sweet. Another part of me was concerned about the implications of entering in to a life that made body disposal an act of kindness.

The thought of my next date being a nice romantic stakeout was disheartening, to say the least. Considering how my last relationship just ended (Painfully, permanently, and messily.) it was damn near miraculous I wasn't crying and snotting all over when Ninja hopped up and left the room. He had to go through a pair of legs to get out. I flushed with embarrassment as I followed the legs up to find them attached to Dean Winchester.

I exhaled to steal myself any impending water works. "I figured Sam would probably be the one to handle the emotional crap." I pulled my feet up and wrapped my arms around my legs, resting my chin on my knees and looking up at Dean as he lingered in the doorway before finally sitting next to me on the bed. Under last traumatic circumstances, this could have been an exciting moment.

` "I didn't think you would be up for a conversation about your feelings with a knock off Dr. Phil." He shrugged. "It seems to me the last thing you probably want to hear is everything is going to be okay."

I snorted. That nail was hit squarely on the head. Things had been so far from okay for so long that the very idea of having to listen to someone utter platitudes would make me scream. "So you got stuck doing emotional first aide. Try and get me all fixed up so I don't tag along?" My weak smile was sardonic.

We sat in silence for a while. Every once in a while Dean would move his hand like he was unsure of what to do with it. It seemed like he was waffling back in forth between sitting on his hands or reaching out to offer me the comfort of human contact. Once again, I wanted to scream.

Finally, the silence and fidgeting got to be too much. I firmly set my hand down on top of his and held it in place on his thigh to keep him from moving it. "You don't have to worry about that, you know. I'm not going to ask to go with your guys again. For one, I'm sober now. And after today, I can see why you wouldn't want me as a third wheel at your monster mash. I'd be a liability. I get it. If you try and let me down easy or rationalize it by telling me how special I am in other ways…" I trailed off. I wasn't sure what I would do.

"You know, that's what I would have said before was happened today." Dean closed his eyes for a moment before continuing. "I would have told you that you were a liability. I DID tell you that, last night. I probably would have hit on you, given you a card with a fake phone number on it, and sent you on your way, telling you how happy you would make some guy some day, or about some higher purpose you have other than hunting." Dean sighed. "I'm not going to do that this time."

"Well. That's good. It wouldn't have worked anyways, especially now that I know your whole plan. The fact that my ex was just killed in my kitchen after trying to kill me wouldn't help your chances of success. Especially since I'm not a freaking Bimbo. But hey, thanks for the forewarning about what an asshole you apparently are." I rolled my eyes. That was getting to be a bad habit around him. "I'm guessing you have a point?"

Dean chuckled, and even I smiled a bit. I wasn't kidding, at least not completely, but I know myself well enough to know that levity is my go to coping mechanism, even if it does make me seem kind of morbid, or macabre.

Dean finally made eye contact. "Okay, here is the deal. I'm- WE aren't taking you with us, but it's not because you don't have skills, or wouldn't probably kick ass as a hunter. Those things can be learned. He cleared his throat before continuing, and I met his eye contact somberly. "It's obvious you know how to keep on, you know, keeping on. You've seen at least some of the crap we deal with and I can tell you know all about loss. That part of hunting can't be learned, and as much as it sucks for you, that's the part that you are a natural at. Hunt if you want. Get married and have 17 kids if you want. Hell, you can join the circus and tame lions if you feel like it. You could probably be good at all those things…. But, Sam and I are not going to drag you in to our crap. The things we hunt, well, it can be downright apocalyptic, and we aren't going to inflict that crap on anyone."

It occurred to me that, in a way, he did exactly what he told me he wasn't going to, except for the hitting on me part. I didn't know if I should be offended and take what he said with a grain of salt, or if he was sincere… Something about him made me want to believe he was genuine, but I wasn't quite sure I had enough innocence left after the last couple of weeks. "So. What you mean to say is, reach for the stars! You can be anything you set your mind to! Just do it far away from you and Sam."

"I wasn't trying to give you the hunter version of an after school special-"

"When bad things happen, I deal using inappropriate humor and pop culture references. But hey, don't feel bad. You don't have to let me down easy. I think I can survive just about anything at this point." Whether I wanted to or not.

"It's surprising what you can survive." Dean's eyes lost focus for a moment before his gaze cleared and held mind again. I decided two things at that moment. Knowing what I knew now, I couldn't stay in my little bubble and pretend there weren't bad things in the world. Most of my family was gone, and it was time to leave the nest. I may as well do something worth wild. Maybe I could save the world. I also decided that wherever Dean went in that moment, he was being sincere.

"Such is life." I smiled sadly.

Dean reached in to his coat pocket with his unoccupied hand and pulled out a business card, handing it to me.

"Agent Lennon?" I raised an eyebrow.

"The name is a fake, but the number isn't. I can't tie you to your bed to keep you from hunting this time. I don't want to say you're stupid," (I would like to pause a moment to acknowledge the fact that I totally can be stupid) "but you seem to lack any sense of self preservation. If you do take up the worst hobby in the world, and you find yourself even a MILLIMETER over your head, you can call me… Call us. I-we will do what we can to help."

I pocketed the card as Sam came to the bedroom door, clearing his throat. "Dean, it's time to go. Cas called-"

Dean stood. "Be careful, Olivia." He smiled, just a quirk of the lips, and left. It wasn't until his hand was gone that I realized his fingers had been wrapped around mine.

Two days later, my bank account was emptied. My stuff was put in storage. I got behind the wheel of my ex-father in law's car and headed north on 1-29 from Sioux City, towards Sioux Falls. Ninja rode co-pilot, and we headed out on a case. It was our first.

A/n - So many views, so few reviews! Suggestions? Comments? Recipes? Jingles...?

I also would like to clarify that this story takes place in the supernatural present.