You are now KARKAT VANTAS and you are incredibly ANGRY. Your tiny grey body is filled to the brim with RAGE JUICE. You are consumed by so much HATE and LOATHING that you are almost unable to function. Of course you do not mean THAT type of loathing, as that would be disgusting and uncalled for. No, the type of hate you are feeling is the totally platonic and acceptable kind.
You are currently standing at the BATHROOM SINK, where you are washing your face. You feel dirty and awkward after that unsightly groping that just took place. Who the fuck does Egbert think he is anyway? How dare he decide he has the right to touch you as he pleases? Not a homosexual your ass.
You wipe your hands off on a towel that isn't soaked in sweat (damn horse freak) while plotting your revenge on the little shit face. You are so preoccupied with your plans of revenge that you are not paying attention when you open the bathroom door. You crash into someone and fall to the ground
"Egbert I swear—"
You look up and find that John was not the one you crashed into.
"Oh, it's just you Kanaya. I swear if it was that insufferable prick I would have actually flipped my shit."
Kanaya stares down at you, blinking for a moment.
"Karkat? Is everything all right between you and John?"
Oh great, now you have to deal with this one's meddling. You can handle this problem yourself. Doesn't she know that?
"Everything is fine! Perfect in fact! Egderp and I are so hunky-fucking-dory you don't even know. We are just the best fucking bros who would totally never do anything so shit flipping misleading and invasive that the other one wants to carve his brains out with a spoon. I do not want to impale his human skull with my sickle and throw his blood stained carapace across the room because I love him so fucking much! I love him so much we should go get fucking human married right now!"
You are panting from not breathing at all during your rant. Kanaya has her eyebrows raised. You curse yourself out in your head.
"Karkat, what did John do?"
"He touched my fucking horns ok?"
You push yourself off of the ground and push past Kanaya. You are about to go to your respite block when you hear faint chuckling behind you. You whip around and flip her off. You can feel your face burning up.
"I am sorry." She says, still laughing slightly, "But is it not amusing? He could not have possibly known what he was doing."
"I don't fucking care. It was sick and wrong. That little asshat is going to pay for this."
Kanaya sighs and shakes her head in an infuriatingly superior way.
"Once you calm down, how about the three of us sit down and have a little talk to sort things out? In the meantime, Jane was showing Rose and I how to make a human sweet she referred to as 'The Cupcakes.' Why don't you go to the kitchen and have one? I have a feeling you would like them."
Kanaya turns and enters the bathroom before you can respond. You scowl and cross your arms. You do not need Kanaya to go all auspitice on you and Egbert. Even so, you are kind of curious about the human desserts…
Go to the kitchen.