Chapter 4

Thanksgiving break was coming soon and the year was 1969. With Diana double majoring in English and vocal performance, she was planning on taking 5 years. Some of her friends were using the term super senior, but she thought overachiever was a better word for it. She was packing for home as A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall was playing on her record player. Truth be told, she was not looking forward to coming home that Thanksgiving. She was worried about her mother,who was under the spell of a false seer with crazy conspiracy ideas still. Her sister was convinced the leader of the sect was a mentally ill woman hungry for power. She prayed her mother would remember Jesus's main message of love and mercy.

Her phone rang and she stopped her record and went to pick up the phone.

"This is Diana. Hi Dad."

"Diana, I don't know how to say this but your mother left me…"

"For that group in Wisconsin?"

" Yes, I tried to warn her it wasn't worth it. So did Father Zima. I'm so worried, maybe she will end up like her mother."

"Oh heaven help us. They do say that is hereditary. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever go crazy."

"Oh honey, don't talk like that. We've been invited to my brother's in Akron, I don't want to refuse so.."

"They are so old fashioned Dad. They couldn't accept that you married out of your heritage to a college educated woman. Now they'll say some hurtful things now that she's left. They'll crucify me when I tell them I'm going for my PhD, as soon as I get my undergrad degree and not stay at home being a June Cleaver who worships Joe Mcarthy."

"Diana!"

"Oh you don't think so? William has invited me to go to his aunt and uncle's in Akron on Friday. I'm going and think I'll only go if Anne is coming to the Mcoy's to help keep me sane."

"She is, so when should I pick you up tomorrow?"

" I need Jesus so bad right now. Can you pick me up at 7,so I can go to Mass with you tomorrow?"

"Sure Honey."

"Thanks Dad. I love you."

As soon as she hung up she almost ran to the Neumann Center. She sat in front of the tabernacle,sobbing.

"Jesus, I'm scared. I don't want to lose my mother. I love her despite her flaws, I really do. She is confused and afraid that the church she knows is changing. Help her, she needs you. Be with Grandmother, let her know that you still love her, that she's not evil. There is science behind her illness,give her love, medication and therapy. Please don't let me be like her. I don't ever want to go crazy and if I do, I'm afraid I won't sense your presence. I'm so scared, help."

She sat there crying and praying for an hour.

"Diana, are you alright? I was just about to lock up."

"Father Paul, I'm scared."

"What's wrong Diana?"

"So many things. Father, what do you believe about mental illness?"

Father Paul looked at her a bit surprised.

"What is it, Diana? Why do you ask?"

"It's affecting my family, and I'm afraid it will affect me. My sister says, it's a real problem,she's studying it and is also a religious Sister."

"I agree, I am getting a Master's in Psychology now myself, because I believe the Church needs to talk about mental illness. There are biological, environmental and other reasons. Just a chemical imbalance of the brain. Being mentally ill has nothing to do with a person's God punishing you or the devil possessing you. God made science and gave people the wisdom to provide treatment."

"God will still love me if I end up locked away like my grandmother or have crazy ideas that l think are religious?"

"Diana,why are you asking,Have you been told you have bizarre beliefs?"

"My mother has left for a cult and it frightens me. Do you remember hearing about apparitions in Necedah, a small Wisconsin town?"

"Where the farmwife told people that Mary told them to look at the Sun and she would appear?"

"Yes, the woman still has a group of followers who is saying terrible things about the church. I wonder if she is mentally ill. My mother, just left us for her group. The crazy beliefs they have.. I'm scared of paranoid beliefs,what if I get sick and start something …"

"Oh, Diana. Do you have something with you?"

"The writings of this woman. Read it and if you ever can write to my Mom, tell her how it's not right to be so close minded. She thinks if I don't join this group I am the heretic who will burn, my own mother thinks that of me. She is supposed to love me."

"She does Diana, she's just brainwashed. Would you like to pray a decade of the Rosary for her and that group and it's leader?The likelihood of you becoming a cult leader is very small. It doesn't happen to all those who experience, delusions, if you did, I'm sure your friends would get you help."

Diana got out her Rosary and began to pray. When she was finished, Father John drove her to the apartment she now shared with her original roommate Veronica.

"Diana, I almost called the police, what…?"

"Mother, she's left us. I went to church and had a very calming time with Jesus and Father. Promise me you'll always be there if I need you."

"I promise. Can I help you pack, then do you want some herbal tea?"

"That would be wonderful. Thank You."

That night Diana sleep peacefully knowing she had a support system there for her. She hoped they would be there for her forever.