Frozen Hearts
By- An Unknown Foreign Beauty
Chapter 19- Nightmare
It was Elsa's shaking that startled Hans. After many episodes of vomiting, she finally fell asleep in his arms. Her head was cushioned on his chest, and her arms were tightly around him. She whimpered in her sleep, and her whole body shook with the sob coming from her throat. She was having nightmares again. When he laid his hand on her cheek, she startled awake with wide eyes and her eyes were full of tears.
"Is it about Anna?" Hans asked. Elsa nodded and curled into him. Hans held her tight. She was dreaming about Anna after a very long time. It was like those days when they started to share beds after Anna's death- Elsa was chased by nightmares, and Hans was chased by his own demons, and two very different people came together by an accident. They had never been apart a night since. It was like those days in the emptiness of the old Kingsley mansion, when they stayed together in a purely platonic way, just holding each other.
"I was wondering what Anna would think if she knew about our child." Elsa whispered; her face was still buried in Hans' chest. Tears streamed down from her eyes as she raised her head from his chest, and gazed into his eyes, "Will she be happy or sad? What name she would give to our child?"
"She will be very happy." Hans said in a low voice, trying to find an intelligent answer to soothe her, but when he looked into her eyes, something odd happened inside him. In a time like this, he never wanted to think about Anna, but somehow like Elsa, he couldn't stop thinking about her. He wanted to tell Elsa to drop the topic, but instead he answered, "She will give our child the most wonderful name in the world."
"You are right Hans." His words made Elsa smile, though her blue eyes were still wet from tears. "Sometimes I feel like gaining my happiness with the cost of hers."
"You are the most wonderful sister in the world." Hans countered. "It is not your fault that she is dead."
"Then whose fault is it?" Elsa's voice sounded stronger. She raised her tear stricken face, and gazed deep into Hans' eyes. Her glare made him cringe. She never looked at him in this way in their time together. Now her eyes were searching his, asking for an answer, searching for the truth.
But he couldn't tell her the truth….
"It is none of our fault." Hans said finally, turning his eyes away from her, pulling her down to his lap, holding her close.
He was tired of telling lies, one after another.
"Sleep, Elsa. You need it." He whispered to her ears, kissing her hair. He stared up at the ceiling and ran his fingers through her hair, moving it back and forth. The abrupt end to his sleep, and Elsa's nightmares, had left him feeling out of sorts.
She was not asleep. He could tell by the way every part of her body was tense.
Elsa's nightmares brought sorrow, and helplessness, and his own nightmares brought only fear.
He planned Anna's accident specifically to break Elsa. He sat right under their nose, and planned the whole thing while playing the love-game with Anna. At first he planned to marry Anna when she was almost taking her sister's place, but it didn't work. After Anna's death, he played the same game with Elsa, but it didn't work either. Right now he knew how Duke Wesleton saw how he was falling for her. He tried to warn him, but he didn't care. He showed her his vulnerable side; he let himself fall for her. And now he was standing here, trapped in his own web. There was no turning back now. He never judged his true feeling; he never knew that he was in love with Elsa. How could he let it happen? He couldn't even recognize himself.
"You are not asleep."
Elsa's words made his fingers falter and he shook his head against the pillow, knowing she was not looking, but would know what he answered anyway. She lifted her head and let her fingertips graze his cheek. "I know you are shocked. Then I'll let you to think a bit. I'll just…go for a walk, or something."
"Stay." Hans whispered the word and in the dim light of the dawn he saw her nod.
"Always."
There was that promise again. It made his heart twist with so much emotion that it was almost overwhelming. He took her face in his hands to calm his trembling heart. Elsa's lips ghosted his, and he kissed her back. While they had shared a bed before, the moments there had been mostly full of lust. They kissed, they touched, but Hans never felt in the way before. He never tried. They made passionate love, but Hans let only his lust rule. He thought about Elsa's feelings, planned to win her affection, but he never acknowledged his. Why did his lips burn every time she kissed him? Why did he never felt like this before? What was happening to him?
"What are you feeling?"
He was tempted to lie, to tell her he just wanted her to keep kissing him because he was very happy with the news, but he couldn't.
"Angry. I hate when you cry over Anna." He said looking into Elsa's eyes—still blue as the ice of the winter, his voice was tinted with guilt. "I hate when you suffer."
"I'm not crying. I'm just very happy." Elsa wiped her tears away, and kissed him again, "I always wanted to hold a little Anna in my arms, and you gave me that chance. I'm very happy."
Hans pulled apart. He placed his hands on Elsa's shoulder, and held her at his arm's length, "I made you happy?" He sounded like he couldn't believe himself.
"Yes, you did." Elsa chuckled lightly, 'Or who else can, Hans?" The love of the universe shined in her eyes. Hans lowered his eyes. He couldn't bear to look at her for long. The burden of his lies was too heavy. He lied to her, but she loved him. He played game with her, but she completed him. He tried to get her property, but she gave her most valuable thing to him.
Her heart.
"Aren't you happy Hans?" Hans realized that Elsa was watching him too.
"Yes," He tried to smile, though it was very much fake.
"I know you are." Elsa leaned forward to kiss him. Hans gazed into her eyes, the blue of her eyes were swallowed by the black of her pupil. As she touched her lips to his, Hans tried to push her away. He'd had no right to touch her anymore, let alone father her child, and he'd been a filthy bastard to have sexual intercourse with her. He was a pariah, Hans thought with a blaze of self-loathing, a devil who destroyed anyone he touched.
"Why you are pushing me away?" Elsa pouted.
"Maybe I'm not in the mood." Hans smiled, pushing away a stray hair from her face, "Besides you need rest."
"I'd like to see you try to stop me." She threw him a scornful look. Before Hans could even react, she straddled his legs between hers, and pushed him down to the bed. She was really strong, and her force on him was pinning him down to the bed. Her fingers around his wrists were like iron bands, and her lips were sweet as she kissed him.
"Elsa.." Hans tried to protest weakly. "Sushh…" Elsa silenced him with a kiss.
Hans closed his eyes. Scenes from his past flashed before his eyes- his father's angry face, his mother's drugs; his brother's ignoring looks, his ex-fiancée's body lying lifeless at his feet….
"You are my bad luck." His mother said.
"You are not worthy to be my son." His father said.
"You are a looser." His brother Henry said.
"If someone out there who loves you …." Sofia said.
"Do you want to save yourself?" Duke Weaslton said. "Let me help you."
Hans cringed and closed his eyes against it. When he blinked his eyes open again, Elsa was there, hovering just inches from his face. Her breath moved a stray hair on his forehead, tickling the skin there.
"Why are you crying?" She kissed his tears.
"May be I am happy." Hans smiled, for real for the first time in his life.
"Did I make you happy?" Elsa sounded puzzled, "I've never made anyone happy."
"You make me happy." For the first time in their life together Hans said a truth to Elsa.
Elsa opened her mouth to ask something more, but Hans silenced her this time. He kissed her. On the lips. On the cheek. On the chin. On the neck. All the time they had sex before, he never felt like this. It felt so honest, without any pretense. It was really good set his heart free. This was the most real, the most consuming feeling he had even imagined.
So after, when he blinked up at her, lying naked, and exhausted in his arms, he gently placed his hand over her stomach where their child was growing. She didn't move, but he felt her small hands covering his big ones, lacing her fingers into his. There was so much dependency in her touch. Her lips were twisted into the most beautiful smile he remembered seeing- it wasn't blinding, or full of pure joy, but still held the hesitancy that marked their relationship right now.
"Will you marry me, Elsa?" He whispered in her ears.
It was their old game and it made him smile when she whispered it. "Yes."
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When Hans woke, he was wrapped in Elsa's arms. He had no idea when they fell asleep after the long exhausting night. He guessed they slept for a very long time, because when he looked at the clock on the bedside table it was almost 12:30pm. That meant they slept through half of the day. Oh, Hans groaned. He missed another business meeting.
Well, who cared about meetings, when he had more important things to do. He gazed down at the sleeping girl in his arms. She was still sleeping peacefully, with her silver blonde hair sprawling across his chest. Her chest was rising and falling gently with each breath she took. He couldn't take his eyes off the exquisite beauty to whom he just got engaged. His fiancée, the mother of his child… Contented, he let out a sigh. The feeling he was swimming in was the most content, perfect thing in the world.
He wasn't sure if he ever wanted children, but right now he wanted a girl- a blue eyed girl, with Elsa's beautiful face, without any interruption from his features.
He didn't want to get up, but the doorbell was ringing so urgently. Carefully, Hans extracted himself from Elsa's arms. She murmured something when he left the warmth of the bed, but didn't wake. He carefully put on his jeans and t-shirt, and walked towards the door.
"Hello, Mr. Westergard," Duke Weaslton greeted Hans with his usual sarcastic tone, "How are you?"
"Fine." Hans replied through gritted teeth. His morning had turned bitter at the sight of this little weasel, "What do you want?"
"You have missed the meeting." Duke pushed Hans aside, and slipped inside. He flopped into the sofa without bothering to ask for permission, "I just decided to check if you are alright."
"We are fine." Hans replied calmly. He fixed his glare on Duke's face, trying to assess what he was up to. He was sure that he could guess his plan, but he waited for Duke to make his first move.
"You shouldn't be fine, after the news I gave you." Duke sounded a bit surprised, but he kept it hidden, "You should know that police is suspecting you for Sofia's murder."
Hans remained silent. Duke gazed deep into Hans' green eyes, trying to read what was in his mind. But unable to read, he continued, "My source told me that police is gathering evidence to prove your association with Sofia's murder. You should finish the game as soon as possible, and give me my portion, so that I can keep the promise I gave you."
Hans kept looking, but didn't move. Instead he kept looking at Duke's anxious face who was watching him intently.
"Hans?" Duke sounded worried now.
"Hans, are you listening?"
"The game is finished, Duke." After a long pause, Hans spoke. His voice was calm and collected, "Elsa is pregnant."
Duke wouldn't be much surprised if a thunderbolt hit him, like he was now. His tiny eyes scanned over Hans, his priggish mustache frowning along with his mouth. "How dare you…!" he cried, slamming one of his fists on the table.
"It just happened." Hans deadpanned, his hands clasped behind his back. "And we got engaged this morning." Watching the Duke break down like this was absolutely divine. Hans had a hard time suppressing the smirk that wanted to emerge.
"But you are supposed to have her property written down in our name." Duke was still in denial, "You know according to her father's will, Miss Kingsley's child would inherit the property after her. If she gives birth, then neither you, nor me can inherit the company."
"It will be my child. I don't want you to interfere." Hans' voice sounded cold.
"Are you cutting me off the deal?" Duke was still in denial. His face turned red in anger, and Hans had to dig his nails into his palm just to keep the straight face he wore.
"Maybe." Hans smirked. He balled his fists to keep himself calm. "Now stop shouting. You are ruining my peace."
"Mr. Westergard, permit my rudeness, but you've taken quite an interest in that bitch," Duke spat. "Why the sudden change from the cunning fraud willing to blackmail and put her life on the line?"
Why the little- finally Hans lost his temper. He walked near Duke, and punched him square on the jaw. The force on his face threw the little weasel on the floor from the sofa. "You…." Hans hissed, moving closer, and grabbing the little man's collar.
"Don't try to outwit me, Mr. Westergard." Duke smirked through the blood dripping from his split lips, "We made this deal together. You will help me to have Arendelle and I'd help you to cover your secret."
"I'm giving it up." Hans spat, pinning him down to the floor.
"Don't even try to do that." Hans saw a sarcastic smile appearing at the corner of Duke's lips, "I know enough things to break your pretty fiancée, make her to hate you for the rest of her life, and put you in the jail for the rest of your life." Hans could just feel that leer on Duke's face, practically.
"I am the only witness of all of your crimes."
Suddenly he felt all of his will power draining from his body. He knew his secrets would break Elsa, and he didn't want her to go back to the state from where she had just returned. His shoulders slumped, and he released Duke's collar. He wasn't outright evil or malicious. But he knew to play dirty when it was needed. "What do you need to keep your mouth shut?" he hissed.
"You really do love her. And you are ready to do anything to keep your face clean from her." Duke smirked, pulling himself up from the floor. Smoothing his crumpled collar, he gazed at Hans for a moment. "Besides I'm not entirely heartless." He said. "I am giving you two options."
'Tell it anyway." Hans growled.
Duke watched Hans for a moment, and smiled, "Let's return to our old plan again. Abort the baby or kill Elsa- which one you'll chose, Mr. Hans Westergard?"
"Go ahead and make your choice, Hans." Suddenly a voice coming from the door startled both men. Hans turned around only to meet Elsa's cold blue eyes.
And they were full of hate.
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It was mid-day when Anna finally woke up, and she found herself tangled in Kristoff's arms. His arm weighed heavily on her rib cage and his head was on her shoulder. She was partially pinned by his weight and the mass of throw pillows and blankets that ended up on the living room floor. The floor wasn't really her first choice for sleeping arrangements, but last night they were too tired to do more than scoot the coffee table out of the way and yank a nearby pillow on the floor. Kristoff followed suit and they ended up camped on the floor. Turning her head, she looked at Kristoff's face. His eyes were closed, and he was snoring softly.
"Kristoff," She shoved at him. "Wake up."
"Umph," he grunted, obviously sleeping soundly.
"I've to get out of the bed," She told him. "To make some lunch, okay?"
He rolled over. "Morning." He didn't even bother to blink his shut eyes. He was usually an early riser but she couldn't blame him for wanting a few more minutes of sleep after last night. She didn't really want to get up either. But she had some cooking to do.
"Stay." Kristoff whispered the word and in the morning light he saw her nod.
"But we've to eat." Anna giggled, but leaning forward to kiss Kristoff anyway. "We can't starve all the day."
"I'll happily starve if you are with me." Kristoff kissed the curve of her ear. His breath trickled her skin, and it made her giggle. When they pulled apart finally, she looked into his eyes. His eyes were as brown as milk chocolate, but they were intense right now. "Anna…" He whispered.
"Hmm…" Anna nodded, burying her face in his chest. The warmth of his chest was so comforting, that she never wanted to wake up. She felt his fingers running through her hair, playing with the end of her braid. "I wanted to tell you something."
Anna raised her face, and looked into his eyes. His eyes were so tender, like the way she had never seen before.
She felt him taking a deep breath, and she shuddered as the warmth of his breath trickled her cheek.
"I…I…."
"I am waiting, Kristoff…" She knew what he wanted to say, and she could wait to hear from him for an eternity.
"I…I'm…" He drew a deep breath, unable to assemble his words, "I'm not…" But before he could finish the sentence, the doorbell rang.
"Opps," Anna exhaled, looking a bit disappointed.
"It's Olaf." Kristoff glanced at the door, feeling a bit disappointed too. "Let me answer the door while you get dressed."
"Alright." Anna nodded, scurrying up from the floor, still feeling disappointed for not to hear Kristoff's confession.
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Kristoff was in the middle of putting on his t-shirt when he heard the front door unlocking. He remembered that Olaf hadn't had the key, so he paid the sound no heed, but an instant later, he heard a chorus of cheerful voices that made him groan inwardly.
"He left early last night." Olaf said, "I'm not sure if he is at home, grandma."
So Olaf brought his grandma here. Traitor! Kristoff growled.
"He is most certainly isat home, Olaf ," Kristoff's grandmother was telling to Olaf. "Last time I was here, he was hiding. Now, where is he hiding himself?"
Swearing under his breath, Kristoff turned just as his friend Olaf, accompanied his grandmother into the drawing room—a fleet of ships sailing determinedly into battle against what they perceived as his antisocial behavior.
"I'll find you wherever you go, darling!" Mrs. Bulda Troll announced, marching forward to press a kiss on his cheek. "You are too much…" Her eyes riveted on Anna, who joined Kristoff from the kitchen, and her voice trailed off lamely, "… alone."
Kristoff glanced apologetically at Anna, who looked both surprised and puzzled, and whispered, "Don't worry. My grandma will like you once she recovers from the surprise." In the space of a few tense seconds, rapidly considered every plausible, and implausible, way of handling what looked to be an impending disaster; but without ordering Anna to leave so that he could explain—which would only distress her—he had no choice but to improvise and to play out the farce in his family's presence and then explain the truth to her after Anna left for the kitchen.
In keeping with that plan, Kristoff sent a angry look at Olaf for not informing him earlier about his grandma's arrival, but Mrs. Troll's amused attention was on Anna, and the mess of pillows on the floor, "Very domestic, Kristoff. You've improved in my absence." She said with amused enthusiasm, "But you haven't introduced me with your pretty companion."
Kristoff swallowed the insult silently, but ignored it anyway. He turned to his grandmother, and began the introduction, "Grandma, may I present Miss Anna…"
Mrs. Troll only arched her eyebrows and looked at her grandson, "And she is…" She was waiting for his answer.
'Let me explain." Olaf tried to say, but Mrs. Bjorgman's stern glare effectively silenced the young man.
Kristoff threw a sideways glance at Anna, who looked panicked because she couldn't think what to say. He put his hand beneath her elbow, partly for support and partly to gain courage, and gave her a reassuring smile.
"She is my fiancée." He replied flatly.
Silence exploded in the room, and Mrs. Troll had gone perfectly still. If the situation hadn't been so bizarre, Kristoff would have laughed at the myriad reactions to his announcement. "Your fiancée?" She said dazedly.
Ignoring her plight for the moment, Kristoff looked at Anna, who was staring at him, eyes wide with surprise, with the knowledge that her future in laws knew nothing about her.
Unable to decide whom he needed to convince first, he reached for Anna's hand, and clasped it reassuringly and gave her the first feasible explanation that sprang to mind: "We got engaged suddenly. So we didn't have time to inform my family." he lied, with what he hoped was a convincing smile. "And that is why my grandma seems so surprised."
"I seem surprised because I amsurprised," his grandmother said sternly, looking at him as if he'd taken leave of his senses. "When did you meet? Where did you meet? You haven't been dating any—"
"I'll answer all your questions in a few minutes." Kristoff interrupted in a terse voice that silenced his grandmother mother before she could blurt out that he hadn't been dating girls seriously in years. Turning to Anna, he said gently, "My grandma seems tired. Why don't we make some coffee for her?"
Anna was puzzled beyond words, but she wanted very much to flee from that room with all its tension, and Kristoff's apparently angry grandmother. "I'll make the coffee." She shook her head, and turned to leave, but soon she was stopped by Mrs. Bjorgman's voice from behind.
"Wait."
Anna froze where she was earlier, as she watched the old woman walking near her, her keen eyes were scanning her from head to toe.
"Grandma…let me explain." Kristoff tried to say, but the old lady raised her hand, shutting him up. She walked closer, and took Anna's both hands, examining her fingers carefully.
"My irresponsible grandson just forgot to give you an engagement ring." The old woman smiled finally, wrapping Anna in a fierce hug. She took off a ring from her finger and slipped it into Anna's fingers, "Let me make amends for him first."
"Thank you." Anna didn't know how to express her gratitude to the old woman. She looked at the diamond ring in her finger, and exclaimed, "It is amazing." From the corner of her eyes, she saw Kristoff's jaw dropping slightly in surprise.
"Do you like it?" The old woman smiled.
"Absolutely." Anna hugged her. She felt the warmth of the old woman filtering though her body as she hugged her back. She could hardly believe that the gallant, endearing woman who beamed at her as if she were the sunshine of her life was the same ferociously stern lady who had just drove Kristoff out of his wit. She immediately liked the old woman.
"I'm so happy that you've tamed my wild grandson." She smiled, looking at a puzzled Kristoff.
"He is really a bit wild." Anna grinned, feeling a bit amused to embarrass Kristoff. "I wish to remember how I met him."
"Don't you know how you met him?" the old woman burst out in what was, to Kristoff's recollection, her first total loss of composure in her entire life.
"Oh, no…you see, I've lost my memory," Anna replied with such sweetness that Mrs. Troll's chest ached with admiration. "But I wish I can remember it all."
"Oh, dear," The old woman's eyes softened as she gazed at her granddaughter–in-law. She cupped her chin and placed a kiss on her forehead. "You'll remember it all soon. I like to know your whole story."
Oddly she began to like this old woman. "I wish so." She smiled sweetly, hugging her again, and throwing a scornful look at Kristoff, "But Kristoff doesn't tell me much. All I know I ran away from home and…."
Her voice trailed, and it made the old woman glare at her grandson. Kristoff forestalled another embarrassing barrage of questions by taking matters into his own hands and standing up, forcing her to the kitchen. "Hey, I am starving. Why don't we greet grandma with some coffee?"
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When Kristoff walked back into the drawing room a few moments later kicked out by Anna from the kitchen, his grandma's eyes tracked his progress across the room.
"You seem a bit more comfortable with Anna lately." Olaf exclaimed, "It is not supposed to be in this way."
"Shut up." Kristoff threw Olaf a warning glare, which shut him up effectively, "It is none of your business."
"Don't shut him up." Mrs. Troll interrupted immediately, "From your gesture to your fiancée, I can tell that you are hiding something from her."
"May I tell?" Olaf volunteered, "Anna isn't Kristoff's fiancée."
"What?" Mrs. Troll wouldn't be more surprised if a thunderbolt hit her, as she was now. She glanced at Anna's way, and then turned her gaze at Kristoff still unable to believe that her grandson was able to commit such kind of forgery.
"Is it true?" She asked, her voice was still full of disbelief.
Kristoff nodded, avoiding his grandmother's eyes, "The scene you just witnessed between Anna and me is actually a giant farce." He bowed his head, and stared at his lap. His guilt was eating him up. "But trust me, grandma, I tried to get rid of her, but she keeps coming back to me." He insisted, feeling ashamed as he saw the pained look in his grandmother's eyes, "But now I'm in love with her, and I'm afraid if I tell her the truth I'll lose her…"
"Oh, Kristoff!" his grandma gasped softly, feeling ashamed of her grandson's negligent action. "What have you done? How can you mend it this time?"
Kristoff bowed his head again. He really didn't know the answer.
Suddenly a breaking sound startled them. Kristoff turned to find Anna standing at the door of the living room. Two cups lay shattered at her feet, and her whole body was shaking with uncontrollable anger.
"Anna?" Kristoff quickly rose from his seat, and walked on in Anna anxiously, "What's wrong?" He touched her shaking shoulder.
But she brushed his hand off her shoulder, her eyes glazed with the pain of his betrayal. "Lair." She slapped him hard and ran.
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Errors are all mine. Consider them nicely.
Spoiler: Someone is going to die in the story, someone you like. Guess who?