Thank you for the kind reviews, they keep me going, like a delicious fruity cocktail under a parching sun. I'll see what I can do dearies, always a pleasure,
Jay
_
Tim, call me, please.
Tim stop being childish. Call me.
Please.
You don't have to tell me where you are just tell me you're okay.
(3) Voicemail
(4) Voicemail
Just come home and we can talk about it.
There was an overwhelming temptation to throw my phone into the icy water below. Now the thought was in my head, it wasn't going to let go. But I resisted.
What had I done?
I'd just called Ivo a rapist.
He was though. No, no, stop thinking it. It wasn't like that.
We both know it was. You remember, like James, yeah?
Stop it.
My phone bleeped again. It was Isabel. Great, now Ivo was using her against me.
Tim, he's worried about you. Please call him.
I wanted to be stubborn. I hated the control he had over me, that he could make his demands and I would go running. I wasn't doing it anymore. I hated this. I hated that some small part of me wished that he had never come back. I would rather have been haunted by his ghost than by his real life presence.
I felt so stupid. Everything I had done. Ivo called me lethal. I was. I didn't mean to be.
Why had I ever loved Isabel? It seemed strange to me now. Knowing she was Ivo's sister had changed that. I had been infatuated with her, Ivo had helped me see that. He took care of me but it wasn't like all the others. Not like James when he would give me pocket money. At first I thought that was like now with Ivo. He paid the rent and I slept with him but this was different, he explained it all to me.
"I know it's confusing and you associate being with me with your abuse because I'm older but it's different Tim. I know it's hard for you to come to terms with what happened but we'll work it out, yeah?"
Thinking of it made me ill now. I couldn't believe I had said that to him. That I had called him that. He would hate me for it.
He did though.
No, he didn't. He wouldn't have if he'd known. I didn't even say no for Christ sake.
You didn't tell James no.
"That was different," I said aloud, startling myself. I glanced around but no one was there. My phone lit up again.
Ivo's number shown on the screen. I answered.
"Tim, Tim please don't hang up," he said quickly.
"I'm sorry Ivo," I said quietly.
"You're..sorry, why?" He sounded genuinely confused.
"I practically called you a rapist," I almost sobbed but I tried to hold it together.
"Just come home Tim, please. I need to know you're okay. We can talk, no you can talk and I'll listen. I promise, just, please."
"Okay," I agreed. "I'll be home soon," I told him before hanging up the phone.