Alfred slinked back into the corner of the cubicle wars, it felt like the walls were closing in on him as the blue positive sign came more and more into focus
"no... this, this cant be"
his breathing came in quick, shortgasps. how did he get a pregnancy? he never had sex also he had a penis for genitalia? how could this happen. he poked at his belly and felt the child's beating heart beat (it was 3 weeks old). it was abeuaitful feeling and Alfred thought maybe he should get a 3d vuideo of the baby. but then
he snapped to his senses.
he needed to find out why he ad a baby? he didn't remember participating in any sex, only indulging in fantasies about president Nixon and betty white. god that was a sexy dream
then he realised, he was a good, moral, upstanding Christian who was cool,. and not a geek and played football. he must be the new virgin mary ... Virgin Alfred. and this was the miracle baby. he knew what he had to do
he had to go on a pilgrimage to bethleham and have this very baby in a stable.
the next day was a doom and gloomy one, where the clouds lay overcast like a snuggie over the town. the school looked grey, when it was usually a bright yellow like barry b benson's sweaters. everybody thought it was going to be a normal day.
they were sitting in mr wang's math class when roderich pushed in a piano and began to play a beat, we all know, it starts like this...
do, do do, di di do, do do,
do dod o, di di do, do do
toris kicked open the door, in the leather jacket (freshly cleaned) and stared at the class, hands on hips.
"first thing's first, i'm the realest"
everybody began WHOOPING AND HOLLERING
"drop this and let the whole world feel it (let em feel it"
toris fished out a knife from the leather jacket pocket
"and im still in the murda bizness"
he swiped at his palm and let the BLOOD (not ketchup, this wasn't special effects, it was HARDCORE)trickle to the floor
"i could hold you down like im giving lessons in physics"
TORIS GOT REVENGE ON FELIKS FOR ALWAYS HOLDING HIM DOWN AND SMASHED FELIK'S FACE TO THE FLOOR. feliks yelled in protest as his phone smashed against the gropund, one of his vines was just in the middle of uploading
toris then began to krunka s he said "you should wanna bad bitch like this"
at this point everybody was jiving to toris' rap game, as well as spinning around in circles on their bums as toris sang out "IM SO FANCY, YOU ALREADY KNOW, IM IN THE FAST LANE, FROM
LA" he pointed at a crying mpreg Alfred
"TO TOKYO" he pointed at a kiku injecting heroine into his willy
mr wang would give out but, in fact, mr wang was a big fan of iggy azalea, his favourite song was black widow baby however, fancy was overplayed in his opinion. it was so good, that everybody FORGOT ABOUT MATH (how could they?). suddenly, toris wa l, no longer invisible.
"whoo we love you toris, unlike that dorkwad Arthur" they chanted
Arthur had his face pressed against the window and his eyes became hot and spicy with tears. how could they say this about him behind his back? already he had been thrown out of the furniture shop in the morning into a puddle. and now this was happening...
"what are you doing? get outta here" the groundskeeper, sadiq began making waving motions at Arthur and Arthur quicky tried to run off. but he had climbed up the wall to third floor to peerinto mr wang's math class and while trying to escape, he lost his grip and fell! into a pile of rakes! he had scratched his whole back but nobody called him hardcore...
FINISH OF CHAPTER 5
guess what y'all! i'm back, and more intelligent than ever! i will make an xmas special very soon so keep your eyes out, call me santa claus! ;) (or as mr wang wud say... mr calculus)