I heard the key in the door and automatically sprang from the sofa, going to meet him in the hallway. He was dripping wet, evidently the rain was heavier than I initially thought. He didn't look at me as he removed his jacket and his shoes. A rule I had implemented. It surprised me that he was following it at a time like this.

"Hey," I said hesitantly. He nodded in my general direction.

"You look cold, I'll make you some tea, yeah?" I backed towards the kitchen, watching him for a response but he never gave me one. He simply stared at the floor, falling to one side to lean against the wall.

"Tim?"

Nothing. Maybe he just needed some space. I went into the kitchen, straining to listen for any sounds from the hallway. My attempts were ruined by the noisy boiling of the kettle.

"Ivo."

If he hadn't been standing in the doorway I would have thought I had imagined the quiet whisper. I went to him and slowly put a hand on his shoulder. He didn't push me off which was a good sign. I tried to get him to look at me and when he finally did I wished he hadn't.

My beautiful little boy looked so broken. There was a dullness to the usual twinkle in his eye. He looked worn out and his dripping hair didn't help. I reluctantly left to find him a towel, plucking one off the bathroom radiator in the hope that the dry heat would help. He didn't move to take it from me so I stood behind him and dried him myself, slowly working my hands through his hair with the towel until he was only slightly damp.

He just stood motionless, staring at his feet. The toes of his socks were soaked through and I ran into the bedroom to find him a pair, not knowing the difference between his and my own. I grabbed a miscellaneous thick, comfy pair and returned to the kitchen, alarmed to find him exactly the way I had left him.

"Let's go sit down, okay?"

He followed quietly as I steered him to the living room. I sat next to him on the sofa and let out a breath of surprise when he laid down and placed his head in my lap. I smoothed his hair back from his beautiful young face and he snuffled quietly. Was he crying?

"I didn't mean it," he said softly. "I didn't mean to say that, it was horrible of me."

He drew his hand up to his mouth, chewing at his sleeve.

"I know love, it's okay," I replied, my stomach twisting horribly as I was reminded of one of my biggest regrets in life.

"I know you wouldn't hurt me, not really," he laughed softly. I continued to stroke his hair and he sighed gently.

"I love you Ivo, I really do," he said like it was a matter of urgency, his fingers thrumming on my leg in his anxiety. I guided him up to sit next to me so that I could look at him. I needed to look into his gorgeous doe eyes and assure him that everything was okay. Nothing this infuriating, lethal, toxic little boy could do would ever make me stop loving him. I needed his impish little grin and the feel of him in my arms.

"Just don't run out on me again, okay? When you're upset, just talk to me," I scolded him, pulling him onto my lap and cuddling him close, breathing the smell of his shampoo. His hand tightened around my shirt at my chest and he snuggled closer. I wanted the moment to last forever.