Things really did change for her. When she wasn't doing homework or working on soccer, Bridgette was hanging out with either Ponyboy and his crew or Nadine. She even hung out with other girls from the soccer team. Kayla had decided along the line that she was in love with Ponyboy and it rubbed Bridgette the wrong way but she never said anything. Nadine kept assuring Bridgette that she would handle it but no changes had been made so far.
Things were going well with Ponyboy, though. After their emotional night there weren't many boundaries between them. They were totally open and honest with each other. It was refreshing.
Her relationship with James had all but vanished. Every so often she would feel an aching in her chest when she thought about him and all of the pleasant moments they had, but then she remembered the night he kicked her out and it was easy to forget about it. Every so often she would catch him watching her but other than that they were good about pretending the other didn't exist.
"What happened to your best friend?" Pony asked one day when they were hanging out.
"Which one?" she asked jokingly. She was working on a puzzle with him and she inspected the piece in her hand very carefully. Then she set it down and grabbed another.
"Mr. Midland," he said.
"Oh," she said. "You were right about him. He didn't turn out to be such a nice guy."
"What happened?"
"He told me one day that we couldn't have our meetings or lunch together anymore. Told me I was just another student to him and he was just doing his job. We were never friends."
"Ouch," he winced.
"Yup."
And Ponyboy never brought it up again.
Her family was adjusting to the changes as well as she could have hoped. Her mom would still bark instructions to her before she would realize what she did. Sometimes Bridgette would comply with what her mom wanted, sometimes she didn't. Tim still had a hard time letting go of his control. The first couple of weeks that Bridgette had her freedom, he would pop up wherever she was and act like it was a coincidence. But she wasn't stupid and she knew Frankie had been tailing her. If Frankie ever needed a job, a spy would not be a good fit for him.
It was working out, though.
And for the first time in her life, she was getting ready for a party.
Yeah, an actual party.
She always believed her first party experience would be at college. And she didn't even know if it would happen then because she would be too scared to go to a party alone.
As cooperative as Tim had been over the last month, he nearly had a conniption when she told him about the party. Kayla was throwing the party which should have comforted him. No Socs and no greasers. But of course he wasn't because he knew how parties worked. There would be alcohol and boys and god only knew what else.
Bridgette reminded him a few times that she wasn't asking for his permission. He calmed down a little when he found out Ponyboy was invited which caught her off guard. But Pony had been around the house a few times and both Tim and their mom acknowledged that Pony really was a good guy with no bad intentions. Perhaps Tim thought Pony would keep her in line.
So on Friday night, after Bridgette finished soccer and showered, she headed over to Nadine's house to get ready. She had no idea what people wore to parties. At least not what people wore to middle class parties. She packed her nicest blouse and one of her nice skirts but Nadine looked mortified by the outfit.
"What?" Bridgette asked indignantly.
"That's what you'd wear to meet a guy's parents," she said in exasperation. "You need to wear something for a party."
"Well, I don't have anything for a party," Bridgette mocked.
"I do. Come along."
Bridgette mumbled things under her breath as she followed Nadine to her closet. Nadine talked to herself as she pulled different items down.
"This would be perfect but it's not really your style. You need to be comfortable or anything you wear is going to feel awful. Let's see. No, too square. No. No. This is—wait, no. This is…a maybe. No. Oh, I like this. Try this on."
It was a tight black skirt that Bridgette had to squeeze into. It fell about an inch above her knee.
"Bridgette, this is not 1950. It is 1970. It's time to embrace the new decade," Nadine said.
"What are you talking about?"
"Your skirt is too long. Fold the waist."
Bridgette did was she was told and looked at herself in Nadine's mirror. She had spent a lot of time at Nadine's house lately and she loved it. Not just because of the pool or privacy, but because her mom liked to bring them snacks and offered them boy advice. It was like having sisters.
"See, now that's better. You work hard for those soccer legs. Show them off more," Nadine encouraged. "Now for a top. Let's see…No. No. No. Ew, no. Yellow is not your color, never let anyone convince you otherwise. No. Maybe."
This continued for about five minutes before Nadine decided to raid her mom's closet. Bridgette looked concerned and Nadine assured her that her mom had groovy taste in clothes. Bridgette wasn't worried about that. She saw her mom all the time and knew her mom was in a league of her own as far as fashion was concerned. No, Bridgette was just concerned that her mom wouldn't like it.
Bridgette didn't feel right going into her mom's room so she said she would start on her hair while Nadine looked. Normally Bridgette left her hair alone but she figured a party was a good a time as any to try something new. Bridgette didn't really know what she was doing as she clipped different pieces of her hair back but by the time Nadine returned, Bridgette was satisfied with the result.
"You look nice," Nadine sing-songed.
"Thanks."
"I found the perfect shirt. Come try it on."
Like the skirt, Bridgette had to force herself into it. Once it was on and tucked into the skirt, Bridgette turned to see her reflection. It was a cobalt blue that made her eyes pop. It was long sleeved and a boat neckline. She felt glamorous. Neither Nadine or her mom's shoes fit Bridgette so she wore a pair of her mom's black heels. Nadine whistled and Bridgette shushed her as she blushed. Nadine left and ran off to get dressed.
Bridgette started on her makeup but was interrupted by Nadine's mom. She gushed when she saw Bridgette and wouldn't stop complimenting her even after Bridgette turned beat red.
"Oh, please let me do your makeup," she pleaded.
Bridgette looked at her. She was a very regal woman with a fun personality. She had high cheekbones that she had passed down to her daughter. Her brown eyes were almost gold in certain light and her smile made Bridgette feel warm every time. She was a beautiful lady and Bridgette decided she would be honored to have her makeup done by her.
Nadine came back in a few minutes later wearing a pale yellow dress that hugged her curves and was certainly short. She looked great. Bridgette looked down at Nadine's legs and finally understood why Nadine kept calling them one of her best qualities. They were long and lean. Bridgette looked down at her legs and wondered if her legs looked like that.
Nadine's mom did her makeup to perfection. It was like both Nadine and her mom were trying to glam her up while maintaining her greaser roots. She put heavy eyeliner on her upper lashline and drowned her eyelashes in mascara, and then finished the look with red lipstick. It was the perfect balance between the trend of the time and her own touch. And, the lipstick made her eyes stand out tenfold.
As Nadine finished getting reading, her mom gave Bridgette tips on how to maintain her makeup. She packed her some loose powder, a brush, and the lipstick.
Before Bridgette knew it, she was getting into Nadine's car and they were taking off.
"Yeah, but she has a crush on him," Bridgette continued the conversation they were having about Kayla.
"So do you," Nadine replied. "And you actually hang out with him."
"But she's been so vocal about it. Even if he did decide to date me, wouldn't she consider it a betrayal?"
"Who cares?" Nadine said. "She'll cope. Stop worrying about all of that and focus on you and Pony. Do you have a game plan?"
"Of course I don't."
"Thank god you have me," Nadine sighed dramatically. "Okay. When we get to the party I'll assess the vibe and take it from there."
"Okay?"
Bridgette was always highly amused by Nadine.
Bridgette didn't know if it was normal to be as nervous as she was but she highly doubted it. Nadine asked her about a million times if she was going to be okay and Bridgette adamantly insisted she would be. Bridgette wanted a real party experience and Nadine was going to let her.
They arrived sooner than Bridgette anticipated. There were cars already parked down the street. Nadine linked her arm through Bridgette's and they walked towards the house together. When they entered the house, Bridgette was surprised by how tame it looked. There were people loitering in every room but no one was sloppily drunk and people weren't necking all over the place. The picture Tim had painted her over the years was proving to be false.
Unless those things only happened at greaser parties.
Bridgette relaxed a little. Girls that Bridgette knew from the soccer team and people Bridgette had seen around school all came up to greet them. They would compliment the two girls and then move on. The people that didn't know Bridgette wouldn't greet Nadine with enthusiasm and then nod politely to Bridgette.
"Come on," Nadine said. "Let's get a drink."
This was the part Bridgette was most nervous about. Tim had made drinking sound like it was the most horrendous thing anyone could ever do. And Bridgette had seen Tim enough times after a night of drinking to assume it was from one of the rings of hell. She had never had much interest in drinking until she got to know Nadine better. Nadine went to lots of parties and was a pretty consistent drinker. If Nadine could do it then it couldn't be all that bad. Plus, Nadine said Bridgette could take it slow, sipping as she pleased. It made her feel better.
There were only three options for drinks: beer, red wine, and whiskey. Bridgette opted for the wine. She held her glass as Nadine grabbed her own wine.
"Cheers," Nadine said. They clinked their glasses together and Nadine watched Bridgette over the rim of her glass. The liquid reached Bridgette's mouth and she smacked her lips. It was bitter and stiff but it wasn't awful. It wasn't something she would drink on a normal day but it was fine for the party. Besides, it made her feel sophisticated.
"Not bad," Bridgette said.
"That's not even the expensive stuff," Nadine grinned. "The next time you come over we should convince my mom to open a bottle of pinot noir."
Those words meant nothing to her but she nodded.
"Come on. I think Charlie Benton is here," Nadine said.
Bridgette had no interest in Charlie Benton, especially after what Pony told her, but it was still fun to play along. They found him over by the stereo surrounded by swooning girls. Bridgette and Nadine exchanged a grin and joined some boys from the boys soccer team on the couch. Bridgette made sure she didn't spill her drink on the nice furniture as Nadine carried most of the conversation.
"Hey, um, Bridgette right?" one of the boys asked.
She looked up and nodded.
"Way to go captain," he smiled. "You brought our team to victory."
"Oh, thank you," she muttered.
"And did you hear?" another boy chimed in. "She got a scholarship to OU."
"Hey, I'm going to OU!"
"That's great!"
"Are you already going to college?"
Bridgette was not used to having so much attention on her. She looked at Nadine for help but Nadine was just smiling encouragingly.
"Yeah, um, I'm graduating early," she said, picking at a thread on one of the cushions.
"Wow," one of them breathed. "That's really something."
"We haven't really seen you out much!"
"Yeah, it's really nice to see you."
"I, uh, thank you," she stammered.
She smiled shyly at them. Nadine sensed that Bridgette had had enough of being the center of attention and started to talk about another party they had all been at a few weeks prior. It was at this time that the front door opened and Ponyboy entered with Soda by his side. A few of the guys in the immediate area tensed but Bridgette was more focused on how the girls around her reacted to their entrance. Some looked baffled but most looked intrigued.
"Hey," one guy said. "What are they doing here?"
"We were invited," Pony said simply, not even batting an eye at everyone's reaction.
"You were invited?" the guy asked incredulously.
"They most certainly were," Kayla smiled pleasantly, jogging in from the other room. "Hello, Ponyboy."
"Hi, Kayla. This is my brother, Sodapop."
"It is very nice to meet you," she said flirtatiously. "Come on in."
People continued to watch them for a moment before going back to their own conversations.
"May I offer you a drink?" Kayla asked.
"No, thank you," they said.
"This is a nice place," Soda commented.
"Thank you," she giggled. Bridgette looked over at Nadine and Nadine tried hard to fight back a laugh. "That was nice of you to come."
"That was nice of you to invite me," Pony said.
Bridgette watched him closely and tried to figure out if Kayla's blatant flirting was working. Pony looked oblivious to the flirting but Bridgette could tell he thought Kayla was pretty. And why wouldn't he? She was pretty.
"Is anyone dancing?" Soda asked.
"Yes, right in through here," Kayla said.
"Hey, is Bridgette Shepard here yet?" Pony asked.
Kayla's smile faltered for a nanosecond and then returned brighter than ever. Bridgette had just enough time to look away from them when Kayla pointed in her direction. Nadine engaged her in a nonsensical conversation as Pony approached them.
"Hello," Pony greeted. He was wearing his typical outfit for this weather, dark jeans, a white shirt, and his leather jacket. He didn't worry about dressing up for parties. But, Bridgette thought, if he looked as great as he did without effort then why mess with a good thing.
"Hi," she smiled. He smiled over at Nadine and her eyes lit up.
"You look great," he grinned. "You could almost pass for one of us."
"Almost," she joked.
"Soda is dancing in the other room. You should come join us later."
"Okay," she agreed.
"I'd better get back to him," he sighed, looking over his shoulder. "One of these girls is bound to trick him into a marriage proposal."
"Probably," Nadine agreed.
He smiled at them again and then walked off.
"See," Nadine whispered. "You're the first person he wanted to see. This is good."
Bridgette decided not to tell Nadine that Ponyboy was most likely on strict orders from Tim. Instead she just laughed.
Nadine led Bridgette around the party, introducing her to new people along the way. Every so often, they would check in on Pony and Soda but they were a big hit, especially among the ladies.
Bridgette finished her first glass of wine and accepted a second. She felt really warm and she found herself conversing more easily with everyone. It was when Nadine had run to the bathroom and Bridgette was watching Ponyboy dance with a girl she didn't know that she was approached by someone who surprised her.
Charlie Benton.
"Hi, Bridgette," he said. His eyes were red and half closed.
"Hi, Charlie," she replied, not all that concerned how he knew her name. "I see you managed to escape your groupies."
He looked taken aback and then started to giggle. Bridgette watched him with a furrowed brow.
"I'm stealthy," he said, leaning in close to whisper in her ear. His hot breath sent an uncomfortable shiver down her spine and she took a step away from him. "So what are you doing off in this corner?"
"I'm waiting for my friend," she said.
"While you wait do you want to dance?"
"I don't think so," she said politely.
"I don't think your friend would mind," he insisted, as if the idea of a girl didn't want to dance with him never occurred to him.
Bridgette looked over the dance floor and found Pony still dancing with that girl. They were grinning and talking and Bridgette admired how smooth Pony was. Maybe Soda had taught him to dance. Or maybe they were all just naturally good at it. She really didn't want to dance with Charlie, but at the same time, she didn't want Pony to think she was a boring wall ornament that creepily watched him dance. She finished her drink and decided then and there that she had had enough for the night. The second drink made her a bit wobbly.
"Fine," she agreed.
Charlie took her hand and led her to the dance floor. She looked around the room lazily and noticed with a certain fascination that the room was spinning slightly.
Dancing with Charlie was like dancing alone. He was in his own little world and he had a distant look on his face. He closed his eyes tightly every so often and nodded deeply, as if the music was speaking to him. Bridgette could have walked away and he wouldn't have been any wiser. She was about to do just that when Soda bumped into her.
"Sorry!" he cried. He saw it was her and immediately took her hands. He started to do the Charleston and Bridgette giggled along with him. The girls that had been dancing around Soda and Charlie all looked at Bridgette skeptically. If Bridgette hadn't had anything to drink, she would have fretted about their dirty looks. People were just starting to accept her. She should just politely excuse herself from Soda and apologize to Charlie.
But she did have a few drinks in her and she was just excited to dance at a party with one of her good friends. Besides, Soda was taking turns with the girls, spinning them around and focusing on each one. It wasn't like she took him away from them. Plus, she didn't really care what Charlie Benton thought of her.
After a few songs Bridgette had to use the restroom. She wandered aimlessly for awhile until she found one upstairs. She didn't even know if she was allowed up there because it seemed empty.
She went about her business and looked at herself in the mirror. She touched up her makeup and steadied herself on the counter. What she really needed was some fresh air. She marched out of the bathroom and down the stairs and right into the backyard. It, too, was empty. Most likely because of the cold. The alcohol was keeping her warm enough but she still went to the side of the house and sat against the wall to protect herself from the wind. She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall.
She was doing okay so far. She recognized she was more buzzed than she intended and she stopped. She was a little wobbly but still aware and in control. Tim always made it seem like there was sobriety and hammered drunk and there was no in between. Again, maybe that was only true for him.
If she stopped drinking now and had some water, she would be in good shape. But for now she wanted to enjoy the cool air.
She felt calm and serene as she walked back into the party about fifteen minutes later. In just those fifteen minutes a lot had changed. People were finally really drunk, slurring their words and telling the people around them just how much they loved them. People were kissing each other and one guy even had his hand up a girl's shirt. It was all very exciting for Bridgette and she watched everyone with amusement.
Of course, her fun was cut short when she walked into the dance room and found that Pony and Kayla were among the couples that were now kissing. Bridgette felt her heart clench painfully and her stomach knot. She froze mid step and the person behind her ran into her. She hated it. She wanted it to stop.
She knew from stories that kissing people at parties was never much more than that. People got drunk, they kissed, they moved on. But this was different. Kayla like Ponyboy. If anyone could turn a kiss into a boyfriend, it would be Kayla.
"Hey, Bridgette!" Soda shouted from across the room. Bridgette looked up as Soda showed off a rather impressive move that made the girls around him ogle him. If Bridgette didn't feel like she had just been punched in the gut, she would have clapped more enthusiastically for him. When she returned her gaze to Pony and Kayla, they had pulled apart. Kayla was dabbing at her mouth, probably to fix her lipstick, but Pony was looking right at Bridgette.
Her eyes widened in horror and she slowly inched back into the kitchen.
"What's wrong with you?" Nadine asked. She had two beers in her hand and she had a distracted smile on her face.
"Um," Bridgette said. "I just saw Pony and Kayla kissing."
"Are. You. Joking?" Nadine grumbled, her smile instantly gone.
"No. But it's okay. I mean, they both seemed happy, so there's really—"
"Ew, no. Blah, blah, blah," Nadine said. She was definitely drunk and she put a finger up to Bridgette's lips. "This is unacceptable."
"It's fine," Bridgette insisted.
"Oh, so it's just peachy that the boy you totally dig it macking on some other girl?" she asked defiantly.
"Why not? It's not like anything was happening with me."
"You are such a Debbie Downer," Nadine chastised. "There is no pity allowed in my dome of good will and peace."
"What does that even—"
"Hush," Nadine said. "I'm going to fix this. I just need time to think."
"There's nothing to fix," Bridgette argued. "I'm going to go dance."
Bridgette didn't actually want to dance but she did want to prove a point to Nadine. She walked back into the room and made a point not to look anywhere near the corner previously occupied by Kayla and Ponyboy. She walked right up to Soda, ignoring the scowls the other people were giving her, and started to move. Soda grabbed her hands and moved her around. It didn't take long for the girls to kick her back out but it was fine. She had made her point.
She went back outside to her little corner. It was colder now and she slumped against the wall, careful not to get Nadine's skirt dirty.
Boys were so stupid. She didn't have time to worry about such petty things as whether or not a boy liked her. She had a lot of other things on her plate. Besides, even if a boy did like her, she wouldn't know what to do with him. She still hadn't even been kissed.
It was probably for the best. She would lose her shit if her fantasies about Pony ever became a reality.
She had no idea how long she was out there. She almost nodded off a few times. It was when she could have sworn she had a dream about Johnny that she decided she really should go back inside. The party was still lively and more people had resorted to kissing.
She suddenly felt very out of place. She went in search of Soda but couldn't find him. She really hoped he hadn't left. She found Nadine passed out on a couch and she bit her lip. She was stuck. She did a quick sweep of the house to find Soda or Pony but she couldn't find them.
She didn't want to stay there but she also didn't want to call anyone. So she sat down on a couch dejectedly and huffed. She was way too sober for this. As much as she had been nodding off earlier, now she was wide awake. It just figured.
"Bridgette?"
Bridgette looked around and her eyes landed on Pony. She coughed in surprise and sat up straighter.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Nadine is out," she informed. "I'm stuck here. I, uh, thought you guys left?"
"Nope," he said simply. "We are heading out soon, though. Want a ride?"
"Nadine…"
"You can leave her a note."
Bridgette didn't argue any further. She would much rather not stay there. She found some paper and a pen and scribbled a quick note and tucked it into Nadine's hand. She met Pony and Soda out front.
"That was a great night," Soda burst. "Wow."
"It was fun," Pony agreed.
"So? How do you like drinking?" Soda asked.
"It was nice," she mused. "I stopped early, though."
"Great self control," Soda praised. She didn't think it took any self control but she nodded anyway. "How did you like the party?"
"It was fun," she said. She didn't think she was very convincing, though. Soda bought it but Pony looked at her sideways.
"I'm glad I came," Soda continued. "I haven't been to a high school party in years."
"And a middle class party never," Pony said.
"That is the truth," Soda agreed.
They got into the car, Bridgette up front due to Pony's insistence.
"Do you guys think I could crash at your place tonight?" Bridgette asked. "I'd rather prolong the third degree I'll get from Tim."
"Of course," Soda beamed. "Always welcome."
Bridgette thanked him and looked out the window as he continued to rave about the party. They parked in their driveway and they all headed inside. Soda took a shower.
"Should I grab some things for the couch?" Bridgette asked a little too formally.
"Why would you sleep on the couch?" Pony asked.
"Um, well, because it doesn't matter if people see me anymore."
"I don't care. There's no way I'm letting you sleep on the couch."
"It's not a big deal," she mumbled.
"This is non negotiable."
She shrugged. Pony let her shower after Soda and she scrubbed away all of her makeup and perfume. Pony supplied her with some clothes and she took in his scent. Soda had already gone to Darry's room so Bridgette crawled into Pony's bed apprehensively. She had every intention of pretending to be asleep when Pony finished with his shower but he made that impossible as he got ready for bed. He really wasn't very quiet.
He climbed in next to Bridgette and shut off the lights.
"Hey, Beej?"
"What?"
"Are you okay?"
"Fine."
"Yes, I believe you," he said sarcastically.
"I'm fine," she repeated.
"Really? Because I saw the way you looked at me when you saw me kissing Kayla," he said bluntly. Bridgette blushed crimson but it didn't matter because it was so dark. She didn't respond in the hopes he would assume she fell asleep. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?" she snapped.
"Well, you're clearly upset."
"Why would I be upset?"
"I was hoping you could tell me."
"I'm not."
It was humorous because her tone was screaming otherwise.
"I'm sorry if I overstepped a boundary or something," he said, grasping at straws. "I know the soccer team is important to you. And I'm sorry if you saw a side of me you didn't like. But people kiss at parties. I wasn't the only one."
"No," she agreed. "And you didn't overstep any boundaries."
"I just don't want you to think I'm one of those guys Tim is always warning you about."
"Trust me, Pony, you could never be one of those boys," she sighed.
"Then…what's wrong?"
"I don't know. Must have been the alcohol."
"Bridgette. You're annoying me. Just be honest with me. Tell me what's wrong."
"Have a backbone?" she asked tauntingly.
"Yes," he said.
"Pony, for such a smart guy, you're pretty stupid sometimes," she shook her head.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked heatedly.
"How can you not know?"
"Bridgette, guys can't read girls' minds. It's not how it works."
"I like you, you imbecile," she hissed, staying quiet for Darry and Soda's sake. "Ever since I was six years old. I never stopped, okay? And I know it'll never happen but it's still hard to watch you kiss other girls."
She rolled onto her side in an angry huff and pulled the covers to her chin. She would have been mortified but apparently she wasn't as sober as she initially thought. Or maybe she didn't care anymore. It was probably the latter because even after a few minutes of silence, she still wasn't embarrassed. In fact, if anything, she felt relieved.
The secret was out. The ball was in his court. He could take it or leave it but she didn't have to admire him from afar anymore.
"Bridgette?" he asked uncertainly. Maybe he thought she fell asleep.
"Hmm?"
"Are you drunk?"
"No," she scowled.
"Can we talk about this?"
"Yeah, go ahead."
She felt him moving beside her. She chanced a glance over her shoulder and found him propped up against the wall. She reluctantly did the same.
"What do you mean you never stopped?" he asked.
"I mean I never stopped," she repeated.
"That was ten years ago."
"Correct."
"Are you trying to tell me that you've liked me for ten years?"
"Also correct," she said.
"Are you serious?"
"Of course I'm serious," she rolled her eyes. "Why would I lie about that?"
"Well, it's a lot to process. I mean, ten years…that's a long time. And I had no idea. How is that…"
"I didn't want you to know," she mumbled. "But I always thought I was really obvious."
"You were for a few years but I thought that was just kids stuff. And then you grew out of it or something."
"No such luck."
"Ten years, Bridgette?"
"Yes, Ponyboy," she sighed.
"Wow. Are you sure you actually liked me? And not just because I was, like, familiar or something?"
"No, I very much liked you," she confirmed.
"But how? We didn't even talk."
"Thanks for pointing that out," she grumbled. "I just did. You were a really good guy. Even I could see that from just observing you. And you were different. Dreamier than other people. Like, you never seemed like you were always there mentally. You were in your own world. And I wanted to be in that world. But I couldn't so I made my own world. A world where I knew you. Of course, I didn't really know you so I had to improvise on some of your traits."
"Was your invented version of me better than the real me?"
"Yes and no," she shrugged. "The real you annoys me sometimes. But I kind of like that better. Because it means you really are real."
"Yeah, afraid so."
"I tried to get over you," she admitted. "It wasn't that easy."
"I just don't understand how you could like me when we never talked or hung out or anything."
"The heart is just weird like that," she deadpanned.
"I guess so," he said.
She was very much aware that he had not shown any signs of sharing those feelings. The feeling was not mutual as far as Bridgette could tell. That was when she started to get sad.
"Okay," she said slowly after a moment of silence. "Good night."
She slid down the wall and onto the pillow.
"Wait, we need to talk about it."
"We just did."
"Well, yeah but…we didn't really talk about it."
"What's there to say?" she asked dryly. "If you haven't decided yet if you like me or not then you clearly don't. It's fine. I'm just tired."
"It's a lot to process, Beej," he said impatiently. "I mean, how would you feel if, I don't know, Frankie suddenly declared feelings for you?"
"I'd probably die laughing."
"That's because you have no confidence in these matters," he said importantly. "You'd think he was joking."
"Probably," she agreed.
"But you're not joking."
"No," she whined.
"I just need time to think."
"Then think," she snapped. "And let me sleep."
"Okay," he said quietly. "Good night."
She mumbled something and then let it be.
Bridgette wanted so badly to fall asleep and deal with everything in the morning. Yet she stayed awake for a long time. After around thirty minutes, she felt Pony slink back onto the bed and she wondered what he was thinking about. What could possibly be going through his mind?
She woke up before Pony the next morning. She lifted her head and looked around groggily. She got out of bed and gathered her belongings. She changed back into her party clothes because she figured Tim would actually lose it if she came home wearing a guy's clothes. She went into the living room expecting to find Soda and Darry but they appeared to be asleep still, as well. She wondered what time it was.
She left them a quick note and then headed out. It was apparent right away that it was very early. The sun was only just poking out over the horizon. She hurried home so she could sneak in before anyone woke up. She changed into some of her own pajamas and quietly grabbed some breakfast. She didn't feel as tired as she knew she should. It would probably catch up to her later.
It took hours for the rest of her family to wake up. Her mom and dad hung around long enough just to tell her they were going to the casino. Tim and Curly turned into the Spanish Inquisition. It was easy for her to prove she wasn't hungover because she wasn't and it was easy to tell the boys what happened because, well, not much happened. Aside from the minor detail where she told Ponyboy that she liked him but she decided not to tell Tim that. Ever.
No, what she really needed was girl talk.
She called Nadine and got her mother.
"She's home," she said. "But she's not feeling too great."
"Can I come over? Maybe I can help," Bridgette offered.
"If you think you can help then by all means."
Bridgette hung up and turned to her brothers.
"I need you guys to tell me every hangover cure you know."
"I thought you weren't hungover," Curly said accusingly.
"I'm not. Nadine is."
"Nadine is cool," Tim said slowly. He started to reel off a bunch of different remedies and tricks and Bridgette made notes. Curly dropped her off at Nadine's house after a quick pit stop at the diner.
Nadine looked and smelled like a zombie when Bridgette ran up to her room.
"No," Nadine groaned when the door opened. She was lying on her bed with a pillow over her face and her legs hanging off the side of the bed.
"It's me," Bridgette said. "I need you coherent so I'm going to help you."
"Good to know you're doing it from the goodness of your heart," she said quietly.
"What are friends for?" Bridgette grinned.
"Can you not talk so loud? Why are you talking so loud?"
"Here," Bridgette said. She placed a cup of coffee from the diner into Nadine's hand. Nadine lifted the pillow only enough to take a sip, shielding herself from the light. Bridgette went around and closed every curtain until the light was at least dimmed. Then she put a greasy hamburger on Nadine's lap along with some aspirin.
It took Nadine a long time to force herself to sit up and use what Bridgette had brought her. Bridgette was wildly impatient. Was Ponyboy talking about it with his brothers? Was he talking about with the other guys in the gang? Were guys like Soda and Darry rolling their eyes and telling Pony he was as blind as he was oblivious while guys like Two-Bit and Steve gaped at him?
She couldn't take it and she needed to talk to someone.
"Are you back? Are you aware of your surroundings?"
"I'm going to murder you," she growled.
"That's fine. Put me out of my misery," Bridgette said dramatically. If Nadine could appreciate anything, it was dramatics.
"What are you talking about?" she asked, rubbing her temples with her fingers.
"I did something so stupid last night," she said.
"Oh my god. Bridgette, did you lose your virginity?"
"What? No! Are you crazy? No."
"Oh," Nadine said, already losing interest. "So what is it?"
"I…told Ponyboy that I liked him," Bridgette declared, then slapped her hands over her mouth like she hadn't meant to say that.
"You told him?" Nadine asked, a fire alight in her eyes.
"Yes," Bridgette said miserably. "And I don't know what to do."
"Well! Come on! Tell me everything. Leave nothing out. Too many details is not enough."
Motivated by Nadine's newfound pep, Bridgette did just what she asked, recounted the events from start to finish.
"Okay," Nadine said airily. "That's actually not so bad."
"You sound surprised."
"No."
"You thought I was going to crash and burn."
"I did not. I just thought it would be a little more…dramatic than that."
"He didn't tell me he likes me."
"He needs time to think. I mean, that boy is so good looking it hurts but he has no idea. And he has no idea girls fall over themselves for him. He's just…stupid in that way."
"He's not stupid," Bridgette defended. "He's just…Ponyboy."
"Well give Ponyboy a few days to let it all soak in. And when you start to feel panicked, remember he didn't sound repulsed by the idea."
"Those are your comforting last words?"
"It's important to remember," she shrugged.
"Thanks," Bridgette mumbled.
"Since you're over and helping to revive me, want to just hang out?" Nadine asked.
"Sure."
Bridgette found herself over at Nadine's house a lot that weekend. It was a nice distraction. Now that she had time to think about it, she was definitely nervous but she wasn't mortified the way she thought she would be. It really did feel good.
But it was still hard going into school on Monday. A few people from the party said hi to her and one guy from the boy's soccer team even sat with her in American history.
Bridgette insisted that Nadine stick close to her as much as possible that day, just as an added security.
That was why both of them were walking towards Bridgette's English class. Nadine was complaining about Bridgette being braver but Bridgette knew Nadine was enjoying every second of it. They rounded the corner of the hall where her classroom was located and Bridgette saw Pony waiting outside the classroom. Bridgette grabbed onto Nadine's wrist and nearly cut off her circulation.
"Will you relax?" Nadine hissed under her breath. "He's still him."
It was easier said than done. Pony had just noticed them as they got within about twenty feet. He perked up, confirming to Bridgette that he had been waiting for her. Her heart started to race and she tried to listen to Nadine's advice as she whispered for Bridgette to smile. They had narrowed the gap to ten feet when something no one expected happened.
Kayla.
Kayla appeared out of thin air. Actually, she appeared from a classroom across the hall but Bridgette only had eyes for Pony so it looked like Kayla appeared from nowhere. Kayla rested a slender hand on Pony's cheek and brought his face to hers, kissing him rather passionately for a hallway kiss. At first Bridgette couldn't take her eyes away like she was watching a car wreck. Then she slowly turned to Nadine and she imagined they were wearing a similar expression. The expression of utter shock.
Kayla pulled away as quickly as it started. She rested her elbow on his shoulder, which wasn't easy because he was a good couple inches taller than her.
"Hi, girls," Kayla smiled. "You know Pony, right?"
Bridgette didn't know what to do. Nadine didn't know what to do and Nadine always had a plan for everything. Bridgette looked up at Pony reluctantly and found him looking stunned. He kept looking down at his shoulder and then at Bridgette.
"Yes, we're familiar," Bridgette said stiffly, like she was addressing the state senate instead of her teammate.
"Hi, Ponyboy," Nadine said accusingly, though she was still baffled.
"I am so glad we got the chance to get to know each other better at the party," Kayla sighed. She looked up at Pony expectantly and he nodded once.
"Are you two, like…dating?" Nadine asked.
"I sure hope so!" Kayla giggled. She removed her elbow from his shoulder and clung onto his bicep.
"I'm going to be late for class," Bridgette said. "See you guys."
She gave Nadine a look that was not discreet before walking into class. Pony joined her about thirty seconds later. Bridgette removed items from her bag in an effort to avoid eye contact with him or conversing with him in general. She then meticulously organized her desk until class started.
She didn't want to walk with Pony to their next class so she took as much care putting everything away as she had taking everything out. Then she jogged to her class. Pony kept trying to get her attention or trying to speak to her but she would just find another task to occupy her time. The last ten minutes was dedicated to figuring out how to get out of talking to him at lunch. She decided to talk to Mr. Schmidt.
"How can I help you, Miss Shepard?" he asked with a touch of annoyance.
"I wanted to ask you about extra credit."
"Bridgette, you already have about a hundred and nine points in my class. If I give you any more extra credit, it wouldn't make any difference in the world. I'm sorry."
"But what if I—"
"I'm sorry," he said with a certain finality.
"Okay," she glared. She grabbed her bag and slowly walked towards the door. She opened the door and peered around the corner only to find Nadine.
"He is extremely stubborn," Nadine scowled. "I had to give him ten bucks to go away."
"You are such a pal."
"I am," she agreed which made Bridgette crack a grin. "Come on."
They went to the cafeteria and sat in a far corner for privacy.
"What the hell?" Bridgette asked.
"I honestly don't know. Actually, I do know. Kayla is insane. Certifiably psychotic. She thinks any boy that so much as smiles at her is infatuated with her. You just can't give a girl like that attention without ground rules."
"Yeah and now they're dating."
"I wouldn't say that," Nadine mused. "After you ran away into English, Pony kind of gently told her that he wasn't looking to date right now."
"Really?" Bridgette gasped.
"Yes, but Kayla still assumes they're hookup buddies," Nadine shrugged. "You can't really win with her. You take what you can get. Progress."
"How do you know that?"
"Because she rambled on about him without my consent all the way to my next class. In case you had any doubts, Kayla says Pony is a phenomenal kisser and he's a gentleman with his hands."
"This is not making me feel better."
"Sorry," Nadine shrugged. "I'm just assuming Kayla will find another guy eventually and forget all about Pony."
"You don't just forget guys like Pony."
"Well, no, not forget," Nadine rolled her eyes. "But not pursue him. And that's all you want, right?"
"I don't know what I want," Bridgette admitted. "Even if he decides by some miracle that he does like me, I'd be a terrible girlfriend."
"Why do you say that?"
"I have no experience."
"None of us know what we're doing," Nadine pointed out. "We just act like we do."
"Well some of you are really good at pretending," Bridgette said. "I wouldn't know the first thing about it."
"You're smart, Beej. You'd figure it out. And excel at it. And make everyone look bad."
"Shut up," Bridgette mumbled and Nadine laughed.
Soccer was very therapeutic that day. Coach had to warn her a few times about her aggression and how it would hard for a college to justify providing a scholarship for a player with multiple fouls. She knew that but it still felt good to wallop that ball all over that stupid field.
She wasn't going to take a shower but decided she probably should, considering she had taken a few tumbles through the wet grass. She made it quick and dried her hair as much as she could so she wouldn't freeze to death on her way home.
When she walked outside, the repressed her urge to groan when she saw Ponyboy leaning against the flag pole with a cigarette hanging from his lips. He looked up at her and she had half a mind to run for it. However, unlike most of the other people in her life, Ponyboy would actually be able to catch up to her.
"Hello," he greeted.
"Hi," she mumbled. She kicked at a tuft of grass and wished she had taken a ball with her for the way home.
Ponyboy walked beside her in silence. She wished he wouldn't.
"Can you come over for a little while?" Pony asked. "I want to show you something."
"Show me what?" she asked.
"Just please? It would mean a lot to me."
She was tempted to be immature and ask him why that should matter. But she didn't. Of course she didn't. Instead she let out a long breath and nodded.
They didn't actually go to his house but instead to the vacant lot. Pony sat down on the ground and beckoned for her to do the same. She hesitated, not because the ground was dirty and she had just taken a shower, but because it was freezing and she didn't like the idea of sitting on the cold ground. Pony just continued to pat the spot next to him until she relented. They sat in the very back with their backs against the fence. He took off his leather jacket and handed it to her without batting an eye. She slipped into it and closed her eyes, trying to block out the last couple of days.
Bridgette waited a few more minutes in silence before she felt like she was going to punch him.
"What are we doing here?" she insisted.
"Just look," Pony said. He pointed straight ahead and Bridgette looked over. All she saw was the vast lot in front of her with the dead grass and large dirt patches. Above that was just the opposite fence and beyond that was houses. No one was out and nothing exciting was happening. She looked back at him in exasperation but was surprised by the look on his face. He was completely serene. His eyelids looked heavy like he was drugged and he had a small smile tugging at the edge of his lips. She was really admiring the way the light hit his face. She looked back to where he had pointed and finally saw it.
The sunset.
Bridgette bit her lip and furrowed her brow as she looked at the sky. It was a magnificent orange tinged with pink. She was sure she had seen sunsets before but she couldn't remember the last time she really appreciated one. They happened every night but she was always too busy with soccer or school or worrying about Tim. She would walk with her head down or with her mind too full of junk to notice much else around her.
As she watched the sunset that night, she decided then and there to make more effort to notice sunsets. They really were beautiful.
Both of them continued to stare at the sky long after the sun had set and the sky had turned to a hazy blue.
"Stay gold," Pony said quietly.
"What?"
"Something Johnny told me right before he…"
"What does it mean?" Bridgette asked. She felt awkward that he had brought up such a personal topic with her and she felt bad prying, but he was the one who started it. She was just making polite conversation. She also couldn't deny she was curious as to what was important enough for Johnny to tell Pony before he passed. People are nosy like that.
"This," he said, beckoning to the sky. "Looking at sunsets. Smelling the flowers. Seeing the good in the world."
"When was the last time you ever smelled a flower?" Bridgette asked just to be difficult.
He made a face at her and she smiled. She cleared her throat and looked down at her hands.
"You've always been good at that," she continued. "You know, seeing the good in the world."
"I try," he said quietly. "After that…um…that, it was hard to see the good in almost anything."
"That's to be expected," Bridgette said soothingly. "But you're Ponyboy Curtis. You can't help but see the good in things. That's who you are. That's why everyone digs you so much."
She meant it generally, as in that was why everyone in town was so fond of him. In light of recent events, she didn't blame him for turning slightly pink and looking away guiltily.
"I'm sorry about earlier today," he said. "I honestly had no idea that…or she…"
"Nadine told me that you turned her down," Bridgette confessed.
"I did."
"You said you weren't looking to date anyone," Bridgette said casually.
"Yeah," he said uncertainly.
"As a fair warning, Kayla still thinks you're hookup buddies," Bridgette added, trying to sound like his best pal instead of the girl that recently told him she liked him.
"What? Why does she…?" he frowned and shook his head. "Not important. I'll worry about that later." He rubbed his hands together and blew on them. "It's freezing."
"Want your jacket back?"
"No way."
"Okay?"
"Here, come here."
She looked over at him just as he scooted closer to her. He put his arm around her and pulled her close to him. He acted like this was the most natural thing in the world. Maybe it was. Bridgette still was socially stinted in many ways. That's probably why she sat there tensely for a moment.
"Look, Beej," Pony said slowly as he rubbed her arm with his hand to keep her even warmer. "You really caught me off guard with that confession the other night."
"I could tell," she said dryly, slowing easing into his arms.
"I didn't know if you were drunk and if I should take it seriously. But I had been around tons of drunk people and I would have bet my life you weren't drunk."
"I wasn't," she confirmed. "Everything I said was true."
"I figured. Then I kind of started to panic. Ten years is a long time to like someone. You had plenty of time to imagine me one way and it was a lot of pressure wondering if I lived up to it. I didn't want to let you down."
"You haven't let me down yet," she shrugged.
"But I might."
"So what? That's part of life."
"I know that the other people in your life have a tendency to let you down," he said apprehensively. She beckoned for him to continue. "I didn't want to be one of them."
"Have you forgotten that I've already known you for a few months? I've had time to figure you out for real."
"I guess."
They fell silent again. By now the sky was a deep blue and the trees looked black against the sky. That had always been her favorite time of day. It was peaceful. It was the time of the day where she had finished her homework and had some time to herself.
"I've noticed that you haven't exactly explained your feelings on the subject," she observed.
"What do you mean? Why do you think I brought you here?"
"To watch the sunset," she said like he was the one that was clueless.
"Yeah," he said pointedly which only added to her confusion.
"What?"
"Do you think I just go around showing everyone sunsets?" he grinned.
"I do think that, actually," she said. He rolled his eyes.
"I don't. I reserve sunsets for myself and anyone I think would be able to really appreciate them. A surprising amount of people don't really notice them."
She was about to confess to being one of those people when his words sank in through everything else. He still hadn't said anything explicitly, but it sounded an awful lot like he might have returned her feelings. Just maybe.
"So…" she prodded.
"Do you want me to make a big show of it?" he asked teasingly.
"If you don't mind," she said seriously. She really was pretty clueless herself and if he didn't spell it out for her, she didn't know if she'd catch on.
"And people say you're smart," he joked.
Bridgette was ready to defend her honor and tell him just what she thought about that but never got the chance because he—as in, Ponyboy Curtis, the boy she had been in love with for years—kissed her. He just plain old kissed her. With his lips.
Her eyes widened to the size of saucers and she was glad he had his own eyes closed. She could only imagine what that would have looked like from his angle. She closed her eyes, more because she had worried herself into thinking Ponyboy would see her with her eyes open and not because that was what she was supposed to do.
She tried to ease into it, she really did bless her little heart. But a million things were running through her mind and more than anything she couldn't come to terms with what was right in front of her. There was no way he was kissing her. That in and of itself was impossible. But what was downright ludicrous was that he would be kissing her because he was interested in her romantically, maybe even wanted her to be his girlfriend.
Her brain was going a million miles an hour.
Fortunately, the kiss lasted all of two seconds and Bridgette was surprised that so many thoughts could swarm her mind in such a short amount of time. It didn't last long but it was still a kiss. It counted.
He pulled away but Bridgette kept her eyes closed, too tight to look or feel natural. But if this was a dream she was wanted to hold onto it for as long as she possibly could. She would savor the feeling of his warm lips pressed against hers and the way he had cupped her face with his cold hand.
"Are you okay?" Pony asked.
Her eyes fluttered opened and she saw Pony was still very close to her. She reeled back by habit but then returned to her original position.
"Mm hmm," she nodded, hoping she didn't have a crazed look in her eye.
"Was that your first kiss?" he asked in a really cute voice that could have been mocking but it wasn't, because it was Ponyboy asking it.
"You already know the answer to that," she said.
"Do I?" he asked.
"Well…you should," she said breathlessly. Half of her wished he would back up just a hair so she could regain control of her brain; the other half never wanted him to leave.
"Probably," he agreed quietly. He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and she laughed nervously. He gave her a strange look but he smiled as he did it. He kissed her on the forehead which sent a million electric waves from that spot to the rest of her body.
He stood up and extended his hand to her. She accepted his help and got to her feet.
"I dig you," he said, almost as if he wanted to make absolute certain that she understood. She appreciated it. "How could I not?"
She could think of a million reasons he couldn't or shouldn't but she kept those thoughts to herself. He slipped an arm around her waist and she did the same, hoping that was the correct thing to do, and he walked her home.
Her family took the news of her having a boyfriend about as well as one would expect. Curly and her dad just nodded thoughtfully while Curly would tell anyone within earshot that Ponyboy was a cool guy. Tim just about had a heart attack and threatened to kick Pony's ass until he was unrecognizable. Her mom screamed—she didn't even scream any words, she just screamed—and then insisted she meet him at once.
Since Tim was threatening to kill Ponyboy if he saw him, and her mom was threatening to kill her if she didn't see him, it put Bridgette in a bit of a pickle. She compromised by asking the Curtis brothers if they would be willing to eat dinner with her family. She was powerless against Tim, but she knew his brothers wouldn't let anything happen to Pony. Pony was a good fighter and he couldn't hold his own, but she knew it would be easier to have his brothers there as a barrier. Plus, everyone loved Soda and it would be nice to have him around to ease the tension.
Bridgette suggested this to her family before asking Ponyboy and she figured that was a poor choice for a brand new girlfriend. She didn't want Pony to have to deal with her family at all, but she knew it was part of the territory. At least he knew what to expect. But she did feel bad bringing his brothers into it.
Soda agreed with enthusiasm which was a bit surprising. He was easygoing and fun, but even he had to have some limits. Apparently having dinner with homicidal boys wasn't quite at his limit. Darry agreed, too, and he didn't even seem annoyed. If anything, he acted like he expected it.
No one in Bridgette's family was much of a cook and they sure as hell weren't about to waste resources and money on a dinner that they didn't even want to go to. It was up to Bridgette and Ponyboy to pull something together.
It had only been a few days but being his girlfriend felt fairly similar to being his friend had. They would hang out and laugh and have a good time, but that was about the extent of it. Bridgette had been so worried about this dinner and her family had revoked their freedom from her when they found out she had a boyfriend so she hadn't been able to see him much outside of school. He wasn't angry or bitter about it. She was, though. She finally had him in her scrawny little hands and she couldn't even enjoy it.
She was praying that this dinner would ease her family back into the new routine. She really wanted to kiss him for real, and not any more of those goodbye pecks.
Ponyboy was more than capable of cooking but Bridgette didn't want him to slave away in a kitchen all day because she knew her family would find any excuse for her not to date him. She didn't want them to criticize him for something he had been nice enough to do for them.
They went to the diner and ordered takeout instead.
"How are you paying for this?" Pony asked.
He fought her tooth and nail about paying for their dinner but she adamantly refused. When he continued to fight her on it, they compromised and each paid for half.
"Frankie gave me the money," she admitted. She leaned against the counter and stared at him, still in awe that he was such a big part of her life now.
"Frankie?" Pony asked incredulously.
"Yeah," she grinned. "Turns out you've made quite the impression on people in town and they all really like you. Frankie's one of them."
"No kidding?"
"Nope. He thinks that you'd be good for me. Told me that he wanted this dinner to go well just as bad as we did. So he gave me a wad of money and walked off."
"Wow," Pony said in surprise. "I, uh…cool."
They smiled at each other. Their order was called and they each had to carry out four bags of food. Feeding a group of eight is hard enough without having young men to tend to.
Neither Bridgette or Pony had a house big enough to comfortably fit eight people for something as formal as dinner. If everyone sat around the living room and adjoining dining room there would be enough space, but her mom wanted a formal dinner. So Darry and Soda had been working all day to set something up in their backyard.
When Bridgette and Pony arrived at the Curtis house with the food, they found Tim and Curly already there. They were probably meant to be helping to set up but they were sitting around looking bored. Bridgette knew they were there to keep an eye on her in the forty minutes she would be alone at his house, heaven forbid.
Darry and Soda had arranged two picnic tables into the shape of a square so that two people could sit on each side and face each other comfortably. Pony told Bridgette later that Two-Bit had swiped the picnic tables from a park with his buddy and they planned to return them before anyone noticed they were gone. Darry and Soda had also trimmed the hedges and the lawn so that it would look presentable. Bridgette wanted to tell them that their efforts were unnecessary because the state of her lawn was a disgrace, but she knew her mom would nitpick, even if she had no right to.
Pony and Bridgette set out the food and started to set the table while Darry and Soda cleaned up the inside of the house. Curly and Tim just sat around sneering.
About fifteen minutes late, her parents arrived. Bridgette didn't expect anything less from them, but she was still embarrassed.
"Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Shepard," Darry greeted. If anyone else in town had talked like that, it would have been a laughing matter. But Darry was mature and sincere and he pulled it off perfectly.
"Hello," her dad said stiffly while her mom just grunted.
"We're eating outside," Soda said, making it sound like the most exciting thing anyone had ever done.
"Hello," Pony said. He was wearing a warm smile and he looked very nice in a long sleeve white shirt he had borrowed from Darry. "I'm Ponyboy Curtis."
"Hello," her dad repeated, just as cautiously as before. Her mom looked at him with critical eyes and it was all Bridgette could do not to die from embarrassment.
"Can we eat?" Curly asked from the corner.
"Good idea," Soda said cheerfully. "If you'll follow me."
He led the way, turning back every couple of feet to flash everyone his handsome smile.
Everyone let her parents decide where they wanted to eat. They chose the seats closest to the house. Bridgette and Pony sat on one side of them, facing the tree, while Darry and Soda sat across from her parents, leaving Tim and Curly sitting across from Bridgette and Pony.
Bridgette could tell that her mom was already struggling to find things wrong with his brothers and with the setup but she had good faith that her mom would find something. Her dad on the other hand looked like he was relaxing.
"How've you been, Tim?" Darry asked.
"I've been alright," Tim said. "The usual."
It was apparent to everyone that the Shepards and the Curtis' were not very chummy and were only connected by their younger siblings. They had nothing in common aside from where they grew up and they were definitely there out of obligation.
"What about you?" Curly asked.
"We've been doing alright," Darry shrugged. "Getting Pony ready for college."
"College?" her mom asked skeptically, as if someone like Pony didn't stand a shot at college even though he was in two classes with Bridgette.
"Yes ma'am," Pony said politely and Bridgette found herself strangely attracted to this side of him.
"He was accepted to OU with an academic scholarship," Bridgette informed.
"That's good," Mr. Shepard said. He had food piled high on his plate and he was easing into this dinner quicker than anyone. "Good for you."
"Thank you, sir," Pony smiled. Yeah, Bridgette definitely liked this side of him.
There was a silence as everyone ate their food. Mrs. Shepard kept shooting Pony glares and Pony kept pretending not to notice. Everyone did notice, though.
"Why don't you tell us more about yourself?" Mr. Shepard suggested. "All of you."
Soda went first and was so full of enthusiasm that Mr. Shepard took a break from eating to stare at him in awe. Soda talked about working at the DX and learning about cars from his best friend, Steve. He talked about going to the drag races and rodeo and all of that kind of stuff.
Darry went next. He was very calm and collected and mature as he talked about his job and what he did in high school. The entire neighborhood knew about the Curtis family and their tragedy so even Mr. and Mrs. Shepard looked solemn when Darry mentioned having to give up his own scholarships for college.
Pony went last. He talked about school and track and how he was looking to do something with art or writing in college. He talked about his love for creating things out of nothing, whether it be a sketch or a story. His brothers grinned at each other when he talked about this. While Soda and Darry had told her parents about their jobs and hobbies, Pony was telling them his ideas on the world, which was so typical of his personality and who he was. By the time he finished talking about himself, the entire Shepard clan sans Bridgette were gaping at him.
He smiled shyly at everyone and then grabbed more food.
"What about you?" Darry asked. "Why don't you tell us more about yourself?"
Bridgette looked over at her parents curiously and a little bit shamefully. For the first time since this dinner had been mentioned, Bridgette realized that the families were meeting each other. It wasn't just her family judging everyone. The Curtis boys had ever right to judge her family. She knew they liked her well enough but dating someone meant their families were now connected as well. The Curtis's and the Shepard's avoided each other and only really interacted when there was a rumble involved. Now the families would have to interact more frequently.
Suddenly the thought of the Curtis boys not liking her family was terrifying. They could like her all they wanted, but they would still protect their little brother. And if they deemed her family too rough or challenging, they could advise Ponyboy against her.
Bridgette was tense as her mom and dad fumbled over their words, trying to tell everyone about them. Her dad worked at a hardware store and her mom made most of her money gambling in casinos. Her mom's job was also her hobby and her dad liked watching sports. Darry and Mr. Shepard talked about football and Bridgette's slowly relaxed.
The longer they ate and chatted, the more grateful Bridgette was that the entire Curtis clan was there. Ponyboy really was exceptional and could have won them over on his own, but it was still nice to have the families together. Darry asked all the right questions and Soda never allowed for awkward silences. Tim and Curly didn't contribute anything. They just ate and looked around as if bored.
A few hours later the Shepard's had said their goodbyes and Mrs. Shepard even spared an actual smile. Bridgette told her family she was going to stick around to help clean up. At first they all looked at her skeptically but didn't try to stop her. That was when Bridgette knew that Pony really had managed to win over her family.
"I really owe you guys," Bridgette muttered as she collected the dishes and brought them inside.
"Why?" Soda asked blankly.
"You do not," Darry rolled his eyes.
"I really do, though," she grinned. "Thanks for everything."
"For what?" Soda insisted.
"We were happy to do it," Pony assured her, ignoring Soda.
"They like you guys," Bridgette announced.
"You think?" Darry asked.
"I know. They definitely like you all."
"Well that's good," Pony smiled.
They finished cleaning up and Darry called Two-Bit to let him know they were done with the picnic tables. Two-Bit promised to stop by that night to pick them up. Soda went out to meet up with that girl that had been running away to Colorado. Apparently she liked Soda enough to stay put for a while longer and it sounded like things were going well for them. Darry called it an early night.
"Are you heading back home right now?" Pony asked.
"Not quite," Bridgette decided. She knew things had gone well but she still didn't want to hear what her family had to say.
"Okay," Pony agreed. "Come on."
They walked into his room. For any other couple, that would have had a lot of implications. For Bridgette and Pony, it was the best place to hang out without interruptions.
"Check it out," Pony said. He walked over to his desk and put his finger on something. Bridgette followed after him and looked down. She started to smile and couldn't stop. Her face hurt from how big her smile was. He had drawn her. He had drawn a picture of her. He captured the alert look in her eyes and her round cheeks. It was amazing and she didn't think she would ever love anything more than that drawing.
"It's perfect," she said quietly.
"I had a pretty good muse," he said nonchalantly. He sat down on the corner of his bed and smiled up at her.
"You think you're so smooth," she teased.
"I do like to think that," he shrugged.
He grabbed her waist and brought her over so that she was standing right in front of him. He kept his hands on her waist and she put her hands on his shoulders.
"I can't believe you liked me for ten years," Pony said softly.
"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"
"Probably not. It's sweet. I'm flattered."
"Mm hmm. Sure."
"I mean it."
He gently pulled her down on the bed next to him. She looked into his eyes and her heart skipped a beat. He was so close. She wondered if she would ever get used to being that close to him. She hoped so but part of her also liked the butterflies it gave her.
He put a hand on her cheek and his fingertips grazed the back of her neck. It made her shiver in a good way. She held his gaze although she was nervous. She trusted him but she was a novice at best and wanted to impress him.
He leaned in and Bridgette tried to keep her cool. This was it. It was happening. He was going to kiss her and she knew it wouldn't be like a goodbye kiss. It was going to be an actual kiss.
Her lips had been parted in anticipation and he locked his lips onto hers. Every time Bridgette brought up kissing with Nadine, Nadine always told her to do what the guy did. So, with that advice in mind, she massaged her lips against his and kept his pace. She realized within seconds that she most definitely liked kissing. At least, she liked kissing him. She was tempted to jump him a few times but kept it together. She did move her hands from resting in her lap to his arms and chest, feeling his muscles under his shirt greedily. She was about to take his shirt off and be done with the silly thing when he pulled away. She was openly disappointed but he didn't see because he rested his forehead against hers.
She wished she had more experience. She wanted to find out why he stopped the kiss, but she mostly wanted to know how to continue it. Was the forehead thing some kind of universal sign that the other person had had enough kissing? Or was that his way of figuring out if he was moving too fast? Maybe he wanted her to make the next move. But she had no way of knowing for sure. And instead of pushing things too far or making him uncomfortable, she just let him rest his head against hers while she stared down at their laps awkwardly.
"You really should get home soon," Pony said in a husky voice. Bridgette wondered naively if he was coming down with a cold. "Your brothers know you're here alone and even with their newfound like for me and my family, they're bound to come looking for you soon."
"I guess," she said reluctantly. Was that why he stopped the kiss? He was worried about her brothers? Her stupid brothers. Even when they weren't controlling her life they still had the final say. It was very annoying.
Her heart rate had still not slowed to its normal pace as she gathered her things and she wondered distantly if Pony had been able to feel it racing. He gave her a kiss goodbye that lingered longer than usual. She liked that. She liked it a lot.
In every book she had ever read and in every movie she had ever seen, the story ended after the big kiss. It was always "…and they lived happily ever after." But there was time and experiences after the big kiss. Life continued before there could be a happily ever after. And the excess amount of reading Bridgette had done over her life never prepared her for life after the kiss. Nadine assured Bridgette that no one really knew what they were doing and she would catch on just fine. Nadine was wrong.
Bridgette didn't know how to be a girlfriend. She had gotten better at kissing due to practice and she was good about hanging out with him like he was her best friend—which he was. But it was being a girlfriend that was hard for her.
Her entire life people had told her what to do and that was how she lived her life. She was very set in her own ways and it was hard for her to change that. And, furthermore, she didn't want to change that. Part of being in any kind of relationship is learning how to compromise but Bridgette had never had to do that before so it was nearly impossible for her to do it.
Pony wanted her to duck out of class early so that they could lay down on the football field and look at the clouds. She told him she couldn't because she didn't want any tardies on her record. Pony wanted her to put her homework off until Sunday so that they could go on dates on Friday nights. Bridgette liked having her homework done before the weekend officially started so that she wouldn't have to worry about it. Pony wanted to come over to her house to see how she lived and to keep a rapport with her brothers. She wanted to keep Pony and her brothers as far away from each other as possible.
Bridgette could tell that her unwillingness to change anything was putting a strain on their relationship but she also was adamant about keeping things the same. She convinced herself that she had good, valid reasons for doing things the way she did them. Why mess with a good thing? But Pony was getting restless.
Another issue was that Bridgette still idolized Pony. She would lie awake at night and contemplate the reasons she still had him on a pedestal. She was his friend. She saw all of his little flaws and quirks. She recognized things about him that annoyed her. And yet he was still the same Ponyboy she had laid her eyes upon ten years ago. He was still that daydreaming, handsome, too-good-to-be-true boy from her childhood. She would shy away from stating an opinion if she thought he might disagree with it. And she wouldn't stand up for herself if she felt he was out of line. By some miracle she had managed to snag him and she was terrified of losing him.
It was the worst feeling in the world to finally have everything she wanted and to be in constant fear of losing it.