Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

I am Sorry

I woke to the feeling that I am being stared at. Slowly I opened my eyes and turned my head to the right, only to see Naruto from his bed, his eyes on me in a deep, depressed look. His eyes are less bright than usual, and he is looking right at me, but he is not seeing me. Last night comes flooding back to me. After that awkward ramen dinner with Akio and his parents I had stayed over at Naruto's, which consisted of a night full of mission stories, lessons in how to be a super awesome shinobi, how to apologize to Akio, and more ramen. I must have fallen asleep here, and judging by the blanket that is over me, Naruto must have not minded. But why does he look so depressed. He was laughing and grinning like a fool like he usually does. What caused the sudden change? The mission stories he told last night were a bit vague to be coming from his mouth. He is keeping something to himself, like everyone else that does not want me to know what my last name is. "Naruto nii-san", I start, watching the faraway look slowly leave his eyes. "What else happened on your mission?"

He blinks a couple of times. "What makes you think other stuff happened?"

I stare up at him from my place on the floor. "Because you never look this sad when you come back from a mission".

Naruto sits up and stretches his arms out, as if he just woke up, but I do not think he is even fooling himself. Next, he flings his blanket off of him and slides his legs out until his feet are on the floor. In response to his movement I sit up too. Naruto rests his elbows on his knees and peers down at me. "You look like him, but you don't act like him", he said, sounding like his mind is somewhere else again.

I sit up straighter. Am I finally going to get some information about which clan I come from? "Who do I look like?"

Naruto opens his mouth, but before he can get any sound out a tapping noise comes from his window. Naruto's head snaps to the window quicker than mine does. A good reminder that no matter how much Naruto goofs around with me he is still an experienced shinobi. Even if he did not sense someone approaching his window before the tapping sound.

Squatting outside the window on the ledge is Kakashi, looking at Naruto expectantly. Naruto moves closer to the window by moving further onto his bed before asking, "What?" Why does something happen whenever someone is just about to let something slip?

Through the window Kakashi said, "Get ready the Hokage wants you".

"Are you going on another mission?" I asked a little disappointed. He just got back. He should at least get a couple of days off in my opinion.

As Naruto starts finding clean clothes, which are all over the room, mixing in with dirty ones he said, "I don't know, maybe". When he finds his jacket he adds, "You should go to the academy or something. Get your friend back".

I give him a small smile, feeling a bit of unease at how usually serious he is being right now. "I think I will do that", I said before getting up and leaving Naruto to go to his meeting with Tsunade.

I come to the stop at the front of the academy. Balling my hands into fists, my eyes dart around the school yard, searching for one person in particular. Naruto is right. I cannot stay in the past. I have to move forward. It is what my family would want. It is what my father was training me to do; to be strong enough to live. Finally I spy Akio standing by the lone tree with the swing in the yard with the boys that he used to mess around with before I came along. There are three of them not counting Akio, and I do not recognize any of them by name. The sight makes me flinch. This is a humbling reminder that I have more of a need for him than he does for me. He is my only friend, but I am not his. I take a deep breath as a pair of giggle girls past me heading to join their friends no doubt. I know what I need to do. Leaning forward on my left leg I put my focus completely on Akio. A split second later I am sprinting at full force in his direction. It is time to make up. Three strides later I am right in front of him, slamming my right fist into his face. I make contact the moment one of his buddies who I do not care to know warns, "Dude! Watch out!"

Akio goes flying backwards with a grunt of pain as the force of my punch knocks him off his feet. He lands on the tree's roots, on the opposite side of the swing. All of his friends are standing still, in shock with their mouths hanging open. And luckily, it seems that they are the only ones who have noticed my display of action, because the sounds of every normal day on the school yard. That is good, because the last thing I need is someone running to get a teacher before I can properly make up with Akio. From his new spot on the ground, Akio touches his reddening left cheek with his hand, before glaring up at me, also ignoring his surprised friends. "Why the hell did ya do that ya jerk!" He asked.

I straightened up just enough to shift balance lower to the ground, and move my hand and arms out on front of me, falling into a defensive stance. "What are you going to do about it?" I asked. The ball is now in your court Akio. A look of confusion followed by another glare touches Akio's face as he climbs to his feet, as a feeling of uncertainty starts to grow in the pit of my stomach. What if this does not work?

Akio moves into his favorite offensive stance, the one that allows him to move the fastest, before one of his friends ask, "Akio should we tell somebody?" Somebody clearly means an adult.

Akio shakes his head. "No". His eyes lock on to me. "I can deal with this". My lips twitch, as a little bit of that uncertainty feeling goes away at his words. Akio charges forward with his right leg leading. It looks like he is coming straight for me, but I know that Akio hates to start matches with frontal assaults. He likes to show his speed right away to get into his opponents head. He once told me that it is something his father taught him. So I just need to figure out what side he is going to aim for. Akio blurs out of sight as he makes to swivel to his left. Neji's training focuses on strength for Akio, but Akio still managed to become faster. However, Neji's training has also made me faster. I spin on my left heel to face his direction and I bring my arms down and my right leg up, blocking his kick that was meant for my ribs. Upon impact Akio and I spring backwards in a series of flips and rolls, forcing Akio's friends to move to make room for us. Akio ends back under that tree with the swing once more. By now a few people other than his friends have noticed our activities. I wonder how long I have until a teacher comes and stops us. I wait just long enough for Akio to regain his balance before making the next move. I know what needs to happen to set things right, but running straight in hardly ever works. Especially when he is still quicker than I am. It does not matter how much my speed has improved. I take my eyes off my opponent for half a second to pear at the tree trunk next to Akio. That will have to work. I run forward keeping my eyes on the tree, and hope Akio is in defense right now instead of offense.

Akio must have realized that my eyes are not on him as he calls out, "What are ya planning Manami?"

Hopefully calling me by my name is a sign that we are moving in the right direction, I thought as I jumped upwards, straight for the tree. I use my right leg to rebound off of the tree trunk and to turn my body around, just in time of fly straight into Akio's back, forcing us both to go tumbling to the ground. From my spot on top of him, and With Akio's face in the dirt I quickly sit up but remain on his back and he starts to kick his legs, trying to throw me off of him. During our actions the whole school yard has stopped their activities and is simply staring, which I find a little strange. One would think that fighting would not be an uncommon thing in a ninja academy. But I do not have much time left so I cannot ponder this. I am a little surprised a teacher has not come already to stop us. "You are right", I said, loud enough for Akio to hear, but quiet enough that most will not be able to understand. "I have been a jerk".

I climb to my feet and step back, freeing Akio in the process. He quickly gets up and faces me, the same glare on his face, but his eyes are light with amusement. "Is this supposed to be an apology or something?" He asked. I nod my head. He moves into another offensive stance with a scowl instead of a glare. "So ya punched me?" He asked. But he did not want an answer as he launches himself forward. I let him come having a pretty good idea of what he wants to do. I try not to close my eyes as Akio jams his right fist into the left side of my face. My head snaps to the right as I feel the sudden pain that comes with being punched in the face. But it is worth it if my plan worked. I slowly turn my head forward again to meet Akio's eyes. Did I succeed? Akio stands directly in front of me, only about a foot away with a blank face. The school yard erupts in a bunch of hushed whispers as everyone tries to guess what we are going to do next. First, Akio's lips twitch, followed by a snicker, before a smile, and it ends in full out laughter. It worked. I quickly cover my mouth as my own laugh joins his. Mother always said that a lady covers her mouth when laughing, because it was impolite to show someone the inside of your mouth. I did not agree with her, but it has become a habit that she taught me. Still laughing, Akio reaches out, and wraps an arm over my neck, pulling me into a head lock. "You could have just said sorry", he said.

I can hear the smile in his voice. Seeing as this is no longer a serious fight, I use a little kid move and kick him in the shins, forcing him to let me go, before I grab his arm and twist it behind his back. "You would not have taken me seriously if I had not punched you".

Akio throws his head back, trying to hit my forehead, but instead I released and pushed him away. He turns to face me again, and one look at each other sends us into another fit of laughter. "What is going on here!" Yells the agitated voice of Iruka-sensei.

Both Akio and I turn to see a red faced Iruka-sensei, still laughing like we never have in the past. I try to answer him, but whenever I try to form words I just start laughing again. And by the sounds of it, Akio isn't having much luck either. Iruka-sensei's eyes dart back and forth from Akio and I, obviously trying to figure out the situation. It cannot be easy. Both of us are sporting smartening bruises on the left side of our faces, and are clothes are dirty, clear cut signs of a fight, not to mention the tattle tale that probably ran to inform him of our scuffle the moment he or she noticed that we were going at it. But both of us are laughing, which is not normal behavior for people who just beat each other up. "Nothing sensei", Akio finally gets out, in between laughs, giving me enough time to compose myself enough that I do not feel the need to cover my mouth any more.

"We are just practicing our team work", I said, remembering the excuse we used the last time we got into a fight at the academy.

A small grin passes between Akio and me, as Iruka-sensei rubs the back of his neck and his face changes back to its normal color. After putting his thoughts together he said in a deep voice, "Even if this was practice, fighting outside of the sparring ring and without the permission of a sensei is not allowed. The both of you will stay after still, and we'll test your teamwork in detention".

We grin up at him, obviously not the reaction he was expecting. He was probably expecting us to complain and argue with him that we did not deserve a detention. "Yes Iruka-sensei", we chanted together exactly as the bell rings, signaling the start of the school day. We both run past our teacher, each on different sides before heading to class together, both of us moving forward, and leaving behind use a very confused sensei and school yard.

The sun is already setting by the time Iruka-sensei lets us out of detention. He had us cleaning the black board, wiping down tables, and cleaning the floor. The whole time Akio and I would look at each other and starting laughing at our matching bruises, making Iruka-sensei shake his head and mutter something along the lines, "I don't understand", which just made us laugh more. When Iruka-sensei finally ended our detention he decided to take us out for ramen. An obvious bribe into getting us to talk about how we managed to beat each other up, and then proceed to treating it like it was all some type of joke. As the three of us walk through the streets, heading to the ramen stand Akio and I keep on sharing looks as Iruka-sensei goes on and on about the difference of fighting and sparring. As if we do not know. It is during one of these looks that Iruka-sensei suddenly stops his lecture and said, "Naruto! Long time no see". Breaking the amused look that I am sending Akio I looked forward to see Naruto standing right in front of Iruka-sensei. So he did not get sent on another mission, I thought as Akio and I stop walking slightly behind our teacher. As Iruka-sensei starts talking about Naruto's missions I get a better look at my adopted brother. He has the same spaced out, depressed look that he had this morning. Except this time he is not trying to hide it in the presences of others. "I'm just taking these two for some ramen. Want to come? My treat?" Iruka-sensei asked. Does he not see the look on Naruto's face?

"No thank you", Naruto said in a forlorn voice. My back straightens as he walks past the three of us. What is wrong with him? He never passes up free ramen.

Iruka-sensei turns his left shoulder so he can watch Naruto as he leaves a sudden worried expression on his face. Now he sees it. A moment passes of just Iruka-sensei staring over his shoulder before Akio asked, "Iruka-sensei?"

At the sound of his voice Iruka-sensei's head snaps forward again. "I guess it's just the three of us", he said as he started walking again, but this time he did not start another lecture, his mind on other things. It takes me longer to start walking again. The look on Naruto's face stuck in my head. I know what that look means, he lost something.

Eating ramen turned into a quiet event. Iruka-sensei would try to talk to us, and Akio would join in, but he was watching what he was saying, because he did not want to provoke Iruka-sensei into another lecture. Though I do not think he should have worried about that. Iruka-sensei was clearly not in his regular teaching mode. The sun had fully set by the time the three of us went our separate ways. "Bye Iruka-sensei" Akio and I said, each walking away in different directions.

"Bye you two". Iruka-sensei said in return. "And no more fighting", he called after us.

I laugh a little as I hear Akio yell back, "No promises".

I make it half way back to the apartment before I see a familiar head of blonde hair attached to a body sitting on a bench under the glow of a street light. I guess he never made it back home. A couple of steps further I can see that he is holding a slowly melting orange popsicle. I stop once I am in front of the bench, only to see that he is crying. Without thinking I sit down next to him, making sure not to touch him. Whatever he lost I can tell it was very important "It is terrible is it not", I said as the faces of my mother, brother, and father flash in turn in my mind. I slide back further on the bench until I touch the bench's back rest and my feet are dangling a couple of inches off the ground and I wait. I remember wishing that I was not alone when my family got killed and I was running from the two scary men. So I do not think I can leave Naruto alone right now.

But we did not sit there for long before a casually dressed Iruka-sensei comes in our direction. Looks like he cannot leave Naruto alone either, I thought as Iruka-sensei calls out, "Naruto". At the sound of his voice Naruto starts rubbing his face with the hand that is not holding the popsicle. Iruka-sensei sits down next to me on the bench, squashing me in between him and Naruto. "I heard about Jiraiya", he said

Naruto takes a deep breath before saying, "I wanted him to keep training me and watching me. See me become hokage". So that is who he lost. I pull my feet up on to the bench and move closer to Naruto so that I am leaning on his shoulder.

Naruto starts to speak of his regrets, but Iruka-sensei interrupts him. "He was always talking about you and what you've done. He was sure that you'd inherit his will of fire". Naruto sits us straighter. His eyes are tear stained, but they are not producing new tears. "He believed you'd become a great hokage, so he'll keep watching you no matter where he is. But he wouldn't want to see you acting depressed". Naruto turns his head and stares at Iruka-sensei stands up. "Keep being who you are, the person he believed in, his beloved student". Iruka-sensei now stands directly in front of Naruto and squats down and gently takes the popsicle from him and splits it in two. "Because now there are people how need you like how you needed him". Iruka-sensei finished as he hands Naruto one half of the popsicle and smiles at me.

I give him a small smile back before looking up at Naruto to see that he is looking at me to, before he turns back to Iruka-sensei. "Thank you Iruka-sensei", Naruto said, sounding a little better. But I wonder how long that will last, because I know that it is impossible to miss lost ones just for one day. I think you miss them for a life time.