It was on a Tuesday in late April when Ponyboy very sadly told Bridgette that he didn't think it was a good idea to see each other any more. He explained gently that relationships were about give and take and she was too focused and busy with her own life to be in a balanced relationship. She understood where he was coming from. Hell, she even agreed with him. School was almost over. They had a month left and that meant final projects and big tests. Everyone kept telling her that she was already accepted to college and she didn't have to kill herself trying to succeed but she didn't know anything different. If she couldn't throw everything she had into school then what was else was there?

She loved Ponyboy; she believed that with every fiber of her very being. They had only been official for a few months but she had been in love with that boy for years. She just never learned how to show it.

She wondered if she ever would.

But it was too late because he was already pulling the plug. He looked genuinely pained as he did it which led Bridgette to believe he really did care.

It didn't make it hurt any less. Everything hurt. She didn't know how to make it stop hurting so she did the only thing she knew, she threw herself even deeper into school. She was manic about it, not in a good way. She nearly tore Skyler's head off when he measured the velocity wrong in a problem that didn't matter for her or her grades. She needed everything to be perfect. After all, she still had to get through summer school and she wasn't about to start slacking.

While most seniors had stopped bothering to show up to class at all, she was slaving away writing essays or studying.

It was the only way to keep her distracted from the pain eating away at her heart and to fill that hole in the pit of her stomach.

She couldn't see it because she was so enthralled, but people were really starting to worry about her. The people that normally put the most pressure on her, her mom and Tim, had even suggested she slow down and take a break. She wasn't eating or sleeping and she had given up on makeup altogether which made the dark circles under her eyes more apparent on her pale skin. Even James came out of his hibernation to see if she was okay.

Okay, she thought bitterly. How could she possibly be okay? She was heartbroken. She was just doing what she had to do to survive.

Because it wasn't just about Ponyboy. It had a lot to do with him, but not all of it.

The truth was that she was terrified. If she couldn't change her ways for Pony, she wouldn't change them for anyone. Her entire family had given her freedom to date Pony and go out with him. Her mom stopped insisting she check Bridgette's homework every night. Her dad stopped telling her she should be out with a soccer ball every time he saw her reading. She was free to go where she pleased with whoever she pleased and she still couldn't do it. She was trapped in her own brain. She had been conditioned for so long to do that and be this that she didn't know there were other options. She tried to accommodate for Pony but her scumbag brain was adamant about keeping things the way they were. It was like she was constantly afraid of being punished or scolded.

It wasn't healthy. It was the first time in her entire life that she realized the way her family treated her was going to have long term effects. It terrified her and she often broke down crying when she was alone. She wanted to be a normal person. She wanted to do normal things. She didn't want to constantly live in fear and she definitely didn't want to forego on experiences in life because she had been told her entire life not to.

She just didn't know how.

The last day of school rolled around and Bridgette was more distraught than ever. Her family wouldn't be there. They practically killed her to be perfect and to skip grades and be the soccer star and they wouldn't even be there to see her graduate. She would have been valedictorian, too, if it weren't for that European history class. Not that that would make any difference for her family.

As she sat there alone at graduation, she couldn't help but cry. She wasn't alone. People were crying all around her. Some people would look up into the bleachers to locate their family with watery eyes. Some people were hugging the people next to them as they cried. But Bridgette was crying for a completely different reason. She worked so hard to be where she was for people that didn't even care about her. Pony was right. They had ulterior motives. If they really cared about her, they would have gone to her games, parent teacher conferences, or graduation. They would have put more effort into getting to know her as a person.

Her entire life was turned upside down for people that she honestly never wanted to see again. She would have lasting scars because of them.

All at once she had a seething rage boiling to the surface. She hated them. She did. They were all she had for the first sixteen years of her life and she thought she loved them for that reason. But now she had seen real love in people like the Curtis brothers. They looked out for each and protected each other but they also respected each other. They laughed and joked together. They talked about stupid things like cars or movies, but they also talked about deep issues, like death and dreams. They loved each other.

Something changed in Bridgette at the moment she realized she hated them. Part of her brain shut down and she felt cold. She watched Pony walk across the stage as his crew whooped and hollered and she felt a pang in her chest. When it was her turn to walk, she looked straight ahead and barely recognized all of the faculty and staff congratulating her with tears in their own eyes. She was even recognized right there on the spot for her perfect attendance and academic excellence. The crowd gasped and cheered when they heard how young she was and how much she had achieved. It all went over her head. Everything she had worked so hard for meant nothing to her at that moment. She thought about just walking home instead of taking her seat but decided against it.

As the entire crowd filtered out of the football stadium, James accosted Bridgette.

"Congratulations," he said stiffly. She just stared at him without changing expressions. He cleared his throat. "Um, we need to discuss next steps. For school."

She didn't respond but she followed him to his office. She sat down in the chair that was once so familiar to her. She grabbed the bottom of her black robe and ran the fabric through her fingers.

"Bridgette," he began and then stopped. She looked over at him as if bored. He straightened his tie and sat down. He folded his hands in front of him and rested them on his desk. "Summer school starts this Monday. I know we agreed you'd be done by August but I've heard that OU starts in August so I've arranged with Mr. Hubble to put you on an accelerated plan. You'll be done in ten weeks. That should give you time to prepare yourself to move in."

She shifted her eyes to the filing cabinet in the corner and sunk lower into her seat. It didn't really matter how long she had to move into her dorm because she wouldn't have that much to move. And no one to help her. She ignored the knot in her stomach when she remembered the Curtis boys enthusiastically volunteering to help her move.

"Bridgette," James said helplessly. "Talk to me."

"Sounds good," she said monotonously.

"No. I mean talk to me about you. You're not doing so well."

"I graduated," she pointed out. "It's not your job to help me anymore."

She stood up and adjusted her robes.

"I didn't mean it when I said that," he pleaded. He stood up and rushed around the other side of his desk to block her exit. "I was only trying to help. And it looked like I was right because…from what I understood, things were going well for you. With your family and with Ponyboy and everything else."

"Mm hmm."

"Beej," he said quietly. "I heard about Pony and I'm so sorry. Do you need anything?"

"No, you've done enough," she said.

"Listen to me," he said more intensely. "I had my reasons. I did."

"To keep us both safe," she recited lazily.

"Yes," he emphasized.

"Thank you for your kind service," she said, going as far as to curtsey.

"I was doing it because I had to," he said hysterically. "I'm a grown man, Bridgette, and it wasn't right for me to keep you at my house, especially when I had these weird…feelings for you. It wasn't right and I didn't trust myself with you."

"What?" she scowled. He was seriously going to try and tell her now that he was digging her? He could save his breath. She wouldn't see him ever again after a few months so he could save his guilt trips for someone else.

"I didn't know how to be around you anymore, Beej. I wanted to hold you and make it all go away. I wanted to kiss you and run my hands all over you. I wanted to feel you pressed against me and it became too much. God, Bridgette."

Bridgette didn't know what to say so she just stared at him in disgust. She didn't want to be there any more so she shoved him out of her way and she left. She didn't even have an opinion of James any more. Perhaps when she first met him, she would have been giddy at the thought of kissing him. But now he just seemed desperate and needy and creepy. Just being around him made her skin crawl.

The only good thing about her encounter with James was that it distracted her from the exciting whooping and cheering of other seniors in cars as she walked home. Nadine invited her to a party but Bridgette wasn't feeling very social lately. Nadine did everything she could to get the pep back in Bridgette's step but Bridgette wasn't cooperative. Nadine proved to be a good friend by continuing to sit by her at lunch, even if they did sit in complete silence.

Bridgette hated the three days between graduation and summer school. She had to spend time with her family and she hated it. She abhorred it. She watched them as if they were strangers.

Once Bridgette was able to lose herself in school again, ten weeks absolutely flew by. She decided to celebrate her own special graduation with a burger at the diner. She sat down in a booth alone and ignored the looks she was getting from other people. At one point she had been known as the caged animal around town. Now she was known as "that really smart girl that went crazy after she had her heart broken." She had been called worse things.

Her waitress brought her burger and Bridgette looked around the room, making eye contact with every person that was staring at her. She didn't care anymore. Something happened to her at graduation. She was itching for someone to make a snide comment so that she could beat on them.

She never got the chance, unfortunately. Just as she was finishing up her burger, Darry walked into the diner. She had seen the guys around, obviously. She had to see Pony every day in class back in school and they both did a good job pretending the other person didn't exist. It was worse than before she had befriended him. At first he was avoiding her because she wasn't on his radar but now he was making a conscious effort to avoid her. It doesn't sound like those two things would be different but they are. Anyway, she had seen Soda around and he had always been nothing but warm with her, like always. Whenever she saw Darry, he looked at her with both pity and concern. That was one reason she was so eager to get out of that diner. She tossed her trash and headed for the door. She had made it through the parking lot when she heard him calling her name.

"Bridgette!" Darry shouted. "Hey, wait up."

She didn't. She kept walking. He caught up with her anyway.

"Hey," he said. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

For some reason the fact that he didn't try to make small talk before asking the request made her want to talk to him.

"Fine," she agreed in that hollow voice that had become so familiar to her now.

He directed her to his car and they sat down. He had a bag of food to go in his hand and he reached back to put it in the back seat. He turned back around and placed his hands on the steering wheel.

"Bridgette," he said simply.

For the first time since Pony ended things, Darry's demeanor wasn't pitying or concerned. He was determined and he kept shooting her furtive glances like he was ready to catch her if she tried to run away.

She wasn't planning on running. She liked Darry. She felt that of all the Curtis brothers, she had the most in common with Darry. She loved Pony and trusted him and worshiped him, and they definitely had things in common, but not like her and Darry. And she could always count on Soda for a good laugh and a warm heart, but no one understood her like Darry. No one in the Curtis house, but also maybe not anyone in town.

He was the golden boy. When he was in school he was the superstar. He had the brains and the brawn and, unlike Bridgette, he was also pretty popular. He was charming and smooth but also serious in a very hot way. People always said that Darry was born to be a Soc. He was supposed to go to college and be a big shot there, just like everyone expected Bridgette to be a big shot. But that was all taken away from Darry. Bridgette could talk to Darry for days on end about school and sports and college and all of that, but that wasn't why she felt so connected to him. She felt like that because they were both the foundation for their families. They had too much stress and pressure placed on them too young. He had to take care of two younger brothers and forget the life he had imagined for himself. And Bridgette was never allowed a life before that year because she had to live up to her own family's expectations. They were too young to have to worry about so much. No one understood her like Darry.

"This isn't good," Darry continued, bringing her back to reality. He beckoned to her in general and she scowled.

"Offensive," she said.

"At first it was about Pony, I know it was. But something changed recently. You have no fight left in you. What happened?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked though she knew exactly what he was talking about.

"You've given up, Beej. You've lost that spark. Did something happen? Is everything still good for college?"

"Everything is fine," she said airily. "Still all set to move out in two weeks. Of course, I have no idea how I'll move there, or just get out there in general, but I'll figure that out."

"We can still help you," Darry frowned. "That offer is still good."

"No," she said quickly. "I can figure it out."

"Well, if it's not school then what is it?"

"I've just decided that I hate everyone," she said simply, as if confessing her love for chocolate instead of something so sinister.

"What?" Darry asked.

"The people that I've worked so hard to impress all of my life, I figured out I hate them. They don't care about me. I've wasted my entire life on them and now it appears I am mentally inept."

She didn't see the point in lying. Nothing really mattered to her much anymore.

"They care about you," Darry said, his brow knit in concern. "Of course they do."

"No one came to my graduation," she said, looking down at her hands. "They never went to a single game. They never went to a school function. They treated me like a pet or a trophy."

"They love you."

"No," she said simply. "I've seen the way you are with your family. That's love. There is no love in my house. My brothers are too cold. Too distant. They don't know how to love and they haven't for a very long time. I'm telling you, I hate them."

"Okay," he said slowly and she could tell he was trying to figure out what to say next. "Well, you're not mentally inept."

"I am," she shrugged. "Look at me. I actually do love Pony and I couldn't change my behavior for him. I'm broken. My own family broke me and they don't even care about me. They just want me to save them."

"Bridgette, changing sixteen years of behavior isn't achieved overnight. I mean, a lot happened this last year and it had to be overwhelming. No one expected you to change right away, or at all."

"Pony did," she said. "That's why we broke up."

"He loves you," Darry sighed. "He really does. You're both young and you're both set in your ways. That's part of being a teenager."

"He was better at compromise than me."

"So? That doesn't mean you'll never be good at compromise. It just means you need more practice with it. Start small and go from there."

"It doesn't matter now. We're already broken up."

"One, you don't have to work on compromising just for him and, two, you'll be going to the same school together. And you both love each other. You'll find a way to work it out."

"Right," she mumbled.

"I mean it. You know, I always knew Pony would end up with a girl like you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about how you're good for each other. You're both smart and driven and spend more time in your books than in the real world."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I just don't think you should take it all so hard," he shrugged. "You two are still good for each other and you both have time to figure things out."

"Right," she mumbled.

"Seriously," he said. "And I can't change your mind about your family, but you always have us. Okay? Remember that. I know it's not the same, but it's something."

He said it so firmly and so easily that it left Bridgette confused as well as surprised. She appreciated it and was flattered by it. And while she didn't understand it, she just smiled timidly and nodded once. Because he was right. The Curtis boys had been more of a family to her in just a few months than her own real family had been her entire life.

"Thank you," she said. "For everything."

"You don't need to thank me for anything," he said. "But I do want you to cheer up a little. Things might have…gone downhill out here, but you're getting out. You're finally out on your own with no rules and no one hovering over you. You're going to do great things and I don't want you to lose sight of that just because things are shit here."

She shifted her eyes from his tense face to the dashboard slowly. He had a point. She already knew everything he was telling her but his tone snapped her out of her daze, even if only a little.

"Pony moves in on Monday," Darry announced.

"Yeah," Bridgette said simply.

"It's all happening pretty fast, isn't it?"

"Sure is."

"Hey. You going to be okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I will."

"Okay. Thanks for talking with me."

"Yeah. Thank you."

"Want a ride home?"

"No, I'm okay. Thank, though."

She got out of the car and waved feebly to him. She took her time walking home. It was Tuesday which meant she had less than a week before she moved in to her dorm. She got to her house and looked around as if seeing it for the first time. She always knew her house was small but it suddenly felt confining.

"What's wrong with you?" Tim asked, showing the same amount of tact he had always shown her.

"I move into my dorm on Monday," she informed.

"Groovy," he said with a cocked eyebrow, mocking the slang people were starting to pick up.

"I need a ride."

"How far away is it?"

"About two hours."

"Ask Curly," he said with disinterest.

"Are you busy?" she snapped.

"Probably. That's four hours out of my day."

She watched him with that newfound boiling hatred right below the surface.

"Look," she said, trying as hard as she could to keep her cool. "I worked my ass off to get into college and I'll be damned if it gets fucked because my worthless brother doesn't want to take four hours from his day to drive me to school."

"Excuse me?" Tim asked menacingly.

"You heard me, Tim. I need a ride so you're giving me a ride. Then I'll be out of your hair forever."

"You still have to come home."

"Don't count on it," she said darkly.

"Bridgette?" Tim asked in a sickly sweet voice.

"What?" she snapped.

He got up from his seat on the couch and closed the distance between them in two strides. He pressed his knife into her cheek.

"Don't ever speak to me like that again."

Bridgette was collecting saliva in her mouth so that she could spit into his stupid face when the front door opened and Curly came in with Frankie and Tony.

"Whoa," Frankie gawked. "What's going on here?"

Bridgette shoved Tim away from her and looked at everyone steadily. She was done. She was so done.

"Curly," she said steadily. "I'm going to school on Monday but I don't have anything to pack my things into. Do you think you can get me a big suitcase?"

"Uh," he said slowly, looking over at Tim curiously. Tim was too busy glaring at Bridgette to respond.

"Thank you," Bridgette said. "I'll need it by tomorrow. And I'll need some things for my dorm. I need that before Monday."

She turned on her heel and went to her room as Tim cursed at her. She could hear the guys talking and complaining about her but she didn't care.