Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
A Morning Run
"Man I'm beat", Naruto yawned as he stretches his arms and shoulders; casting shadows on the gray walls of the tent thanks to the faint glow of the candle powered lantern. After Naruto's return the village erupted into a mad rush of trying to construct some form of shelter, and find food. The shinobi all seemed to know what they were doing. They communicated with each other efficiently, and quickly located a bunch of emergency tents in the evacuation shelter. It had luckily not been destroyed during the attack, as it safely rests under the hokage monument.
The tents were quickly set up and people were being assigned based on age, health and area of residence in the village. The very young, the very old, the sick and the injured got priority over everyone else. Clans like Pineapple head's and Neji's were given multiple tents, while civilians and individual shinobi families were forced to share with their neighbors. Akio's family got assigned to the same tent as Sakura's family, and another young family who just had a baby about a week ago. Most shinobi and the young adults were expected to sleep outside. Not that the shinobi would be doing much sleeping. Form some complaints that I overheard it sounds like every ninja who is uninjured or not otherwise occupied would have to take watch shifts throughout the night.
Naruto, being the savior of the village, got excused from taking shifts. He even got his own tent as a sign of respect from the village. The only other people who got their own tents were Tsunade, since she is the hokage and is in a coma, and the village elders. I did not know the village elders existed until I overheard some chunin talking about the tent distribution.
I, being parentless, got assigned to a tent that was set up in the center of the village, close to where the academy used to be, and near a couple of tents used for medical purposes. This tent was for all the kids under the age of twelve whose parents or guardians are out of the village on mission. Apparently I can only be trusted to look after myself when the village is not in complete ruin.
However, much to my appreciation, the chunin sent to collect me was quickly dismissed by Naruto, whose side I have refused to leave since he got back. I almost lost him. And that cannot happen, not again.
Naruto stated that as his little sister I would stay with him. His exact words being, "What kind of big brother wouldn't take care of his little sis?" The he had pulled me closer to him and messed with my hair, showing the chunin his signature cheesy grin. Usually this action would irate me to a point that I would push him away, but in that moment I was just grateful that he was there. The chunin left soon after, not wanting to deny the hero of the village. At that point in time Naruto could have gotten away with murder if he wanted to. No one could hold anything against him after he had saved us all.
Which explains were we are right now; resting in a tent by candle light. Naruto unzips his jacket and slides it off before bunching it up in his hands, like one does when crumbling a piece of paper. "Naruto nii-san", I started, watching from the other side of the tent with my knees drawn up to my chest as he sweeps away the wrappers from the ration bars that were passed out for tonight's dinner.
Naruto grunts in response as he drops his jacket where the wrappers used to be and lies down, resting his head on his makeshift pillow. "Are you going to stay here for a while or do you have to go back to those toads?" I asked softly, afraid of the answer. It is too soon for him to leave again. I need him. If he leaves it will be like the last time; my home getting attack by people in black cloaks with clouds on them, and I will be all alone.
Naruto yawns once more and turns on his side, staring at me with those blue eyes of his. "Nah! Konoha needs to be fixed before I can go anywhere. And I mastered the sage mode anyway. So I don't need to go back", he said with eyes full of accomplishment.
"Sage mode?" I asked, laying down as well, facing Naruto. My question sends him off on a long description of his training with the toads, which leads into him telling how his fight with the enemy went. His mention of the enemy causes flashes of all the people I have seen in black cloaks with red clouds on them. But mostly I remember the two scary men that destroyed my first home and family.
After Naruto's retelling of events, which ended with him saying how awesome it was to come back to the village waiting for him, and praising him, I said, "The people who attacked the village were wearing the same cloaks as the two men who killed my family".
Instantly Naruto's joyful mood turns somber as he said, "don't worry about it. They weren't here for you".
"I know that", I said, breathing deeply and briefly glance over at the entrance of the tent where my old scuffed up sandals stand next to Naruto's equally dirty, bigger sandals. "But what do the cloaks mean?" I asked. However, what I really wanted to ask was why they killed my family. Why did they kill my family when everyone here got to walk away with their lives?
Naruto yawns again, causing his eyes to close for a second. "It's over", he breathed out already sounding half asleep. "You'll never see one of those cloaks again."
I want to question him, force an explanation out of him, but all chance of that vanishes when a loud echoing snore erupts from his mouth. Sighing in defeat I roll over to face the tent wall. At least he is here with me. And Akio is alive and well. And pineapple head, Chouji and everyone. At least this time nothing irreplaceable was taken.
I feel asleep to Naruto's snoring and woke up to it. Is that healthy, snoring so much? I asked myself as I roll over to stare at my adopted brother. He had tossed and turned in his sleep, and now he is completely sprawled on the plastic floor of the tent. Sometime during the night he had shoved away his makeshift pillow, and now it lay above his head in a crumbled heap. It sure looks like he is sleeping well. I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes and pushing my black hair out of my face in the process, sorely missing my bed. My hair has gotten longer since I first arrived in Konoha. It now reaches my lower back when it used to just reach a little past my shoulder. My mother would have been disgusted with all the split ends that I have. If she was here my hair would have never been allowed to be in the state it is now. I should probably cut it. I thought as what little I remember of my mother's face flash through my mind. Brown hair and brown eyes; is that really all I can recall? Has enough time passed that I am already starting to forget my family's faces? Dropping my hands down to my sides I look at Naruto's sleeping form again. I have started replacing them. That thought leaves a bitter feeling in my heart. I replaced my brother with Naruto. What if I find someone to replace my mother or my father? Thoughts and memories that have been pushed to the side due to all of the events that have taken place come back now that I let them. Brother sneaking extra helpings of dessert behind mother's back when she was not looking. Mother patching up wholes in father's clothing as she complains about him being careless. Father drilling me in taijutsu; never relenting. And blood. So much blood, glass and screaming as father's body gets thrown through the window by two scary men wearing black cloaks with red clouds on them. Each one feels like a year being taken from my life as my shoulders drop; forced down by an invisible weight that only I can feel. Two men in black cloaks with red clouds came to my home in the land of Earth. Enemies wearing the same cloak came to the leaf village. The two men attacked my family. The enemies attacked the village. I had run away from the two men and my family's cries of panic, and pain. In the village attack I had ran but I did not runaway alone, and I did not leave the village. My family died in a bloodbath. No one in the village died. My breathing becomes ragged as my eyes begin to sting with pent up grief. Why did these two events end differently? Why did everyone in the village survive, but not my family? The first salty teardrop falls and lands on left thigh. Logically I know the answer. At my first home only my father knew how to fight, and only I had the time and knowledge to run. Here, in the village a lot of people, people stronger than my father, know how to fight, and everyone knew what to do in this situation. Emotionally, I do not want to see the difference between the two attacks. If the entire village can survive the people wearing black cloaks with red clouds then my family should have been able to as well. Water flows freely from my eyes as my shoulders heave; holding back a sob. It is not fair. I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. Mother, brother and father should he here too. I cannot hold back my sobbing any longer, but the sound of sobbing remains only background noise to Naruto's snoring. I bury my head in my knees and let my overgrown hair sweep over my face like a curtain. My shoulders shudder as another sob is released. It is not fair.
Naruto's snoring comes to an end as it is interrupted with a moan of contentment. I can hear him sitting up and mumbling things like "good morning" and "Boy that felt good" as I keep on thinking it is not fair. Why did he wake up? I bit my lip in a sudden effort to stop the waterworks. Why could he not have remained asleep? Another sob leaves, although muffled. He has seen me upset before, but not like this. Not when I am crying over the fact that I replaced my brother with him. Not because he survived people in black cloaks and red clouds and my family did not. I cannot let him know about this. To let him see would be the same of telling him I am ungrateful for all that he has done for me. I hold my breath. Please stop crying. I beg myself. Naruto yawns loudly, and my whole body tenses like a rubber band being pulled. A short moment of silence passes before, "What's wrong with you?"
I cannot take it anymore. Letting go of my knees, I quickly place my hands on the floor of the tent on either side of me so I can push myself up. "Manami?" Naruto questions as I lunge forward, towards the tent's entrance. I cannot look at him. I stumble at first until I find my footing, but as soon as I do I dash out of the tent. "Where are you going?" Naruto Asked right as I exit. "You forgot your shoes! Manami!" Naruto yells. But I do not respond. I cannot respond. Not right now.
Pebbles and small rocks jab into the soles of my feet as I run down the rows and rows of tents with my head down. It is not fair. Why did they have to die? The village is slowly waking up as the shinobi have started waking every one up and are assigning jobs. Some have even started to remove some of the debris. Not that I can see any of this. With my head down and my vision blurred by tears all my knowledge comes from hearing.
Every step I take I am gasping for breath because it is not easy to run and cry at the same time. I stumble over bits of broken bricks and plaster that were not swept away. However, every time the debris throws off my balance I am quick to correct it. It cannot stop running. It is not fair. No one in the village died, so why did they have to die? I can feel the sharp edges of the stray debris prick my feet and scrap against my ankles. But it does not stop me. It is not fair. Why did they leave me behind?
"Manami!" I hear Naruto scream from somewhere behind me. "Wait!" I do not listen. Why did I run away the day that they were murdered? Why did I run? I could have stayed and I still would be with them. Who would care if I had died or not? My feet come to a sudden halt, and I can feel them throbbing in protest at their treatment. Choking on a sob; my shoulders shake rapidly as I curled my hands into fists at my sides. I should not have ran that day. I should have stayed, and remained with my family. Then I would not have to solve this giant riddle about my family, and this supposed clan that I am a part of. Then I would not have to feel guilty about finding people that I am starting to love as much as them. Then I would not be betraying them. "Manami", Naruto says again, this time much closer. The hair on the back of my neck rises when I can feel him standing directly behind me. "What was that all about?" He asked, almost sounding like he was whining. "You left without your shoes and I have to go chasing after you" he said with no strain in his breathing to suggest that he has chased after me, only proof of his status as a ninja. Naruto continues to go on about my abrupt exit from our tent. However I fail to listen. Naruto should not have to worry about me when I go somewhere without my sandals. He should not have to put up with me since we are only siblings by his declaration. I should have died with my family. Under the influence of a swirl of emotions that I cannot even comprehend I pivot around and swing my right fist with as much force as I can into Naruto's gut. "Manami?" He questions, sounding confused. It seems like my punch did not make him feel anything. My left fist soon follows my right, aiming for his stomach. It is not fair. My left and right fists start taking turns pummeling Naruto. "Hey Manami? Why are you punching me? Cut it out!" he said. In between gasps of air I continue to sob. I should be dead. I should only have one brother. I should have stayed with my family. Anything would have been better than this guilt. It is not fair!
I sudden force knocking into the top of my head momentary pushes the absurd amount of emotions out of my head and heart due to the shock of it. Through blurred vision I look up, panting, to see Naruto scowling at me. Obviously, I had used up all of his patience. Breathing heavily my eyes wander away from his face and to his right arm that is stretch out at a weird angle over my head. When I cannot see his hand and still feel a weight on top of my head I put two and two together. He punched me. Why did he do that? He has never hit me before. I take a deep breath before another sob gets stuck in my throat. Why am I here? "Quite acting like a brat!" Naruto orders as he removes his fist from my head. "First you run off, and I have to go chasing after you because you didn't bring your shoes!" Despite to dull throb on top of my head I do not reach up to rub it. I am being a brat? "Then I'm calling you but you won't turn around!" Naruto continues, telling his side of the story in a raised voice. Neither of us pays attention to the people who have stopped whatever they were doing to stare at us from the sidelines. "And when I do catch up to you, you start punching me!" He exclaims, waving his hands around to air. Now that he says it out loud I understand the brat part. I look down at my bare feet. But I was not being a brat on purpose. Am I wrong for wanting my family when I have found a replacement in Naruto? Is that selfish? Logically I think the answer is no, but emotionally I feel like the answer is yes. I just do not know any more. Did I ever know? I bite my lower lip to keep it from quivering. "Manami!" Naruto roars. "Are you even listening to me?"
Another unnamed emotion spurs me forward, causing me to wrap my arms around Naruto's middle and burry my tear stained face into his shirt. The action immediately stops his ranting as he starts to leak confusion. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He asked, sounding befuddled.
Sniffling, I said, "I am sorry Naruto nii-san". I offer no explanation, because I do not have one myself. I still feel guilt for living when my family is dead, for running away. I still feel guilt for calling Naruto my brother and letting him call me his little sister. However, I also feel bad for running from Naruto, and not being able to tell him everything. I just do not know how to feel.
"I don't get it", Naruto mutters to himself, sound frustrated as I release him and step back before rubbing he tears from my eyes.
He rubs the back of his head, and slowly the people watching on the side lines go back to whatever they were doing before we interrupted them. However, I can still sense eyes on us. "Are you mad?" I asked, staring up at him.
Naruto looks down at me, his eyes bright with puzzlement. "Nah" He starts out slow. "Just stop being a brat!"
My lips twitch as little before I said in a week voice, "I will try". I look down at his hands only to see them empty. If he ran after me because I did not have my shoes, why did he not bring them? With an expectation forming in my head, my eye drop down to Naruto's feet, only to see that they are covered in dust and scraps just like mine are. "Naruto nii-san", I said, starting to feel just a little bit normal. "You forgot your shoes too".