Sorry for the long wait, again. It's been a very stressful week since exam week is near. I know I said this story will only be three chapters long but since the last chapter was really short, I decided to make it at least four or five chapters.
One night, Rose had left her smart phone on. She didn't know that she was signed in on her Google account. Dimitri had left her a message but she didn't respond yet; he was still a blank to her. He said, "I told you he would cheat on you . . ."
Her response had been, "Do I know you?" or something similar. He probably went frantic and he typed out a large paragraph introducing him. Whatever he said, everyone else had already tried saying, which made her even more confused; it had to be deeper than "your first love whom you dumped for Adrian" because it just didn't make sense. Then, he said that he still loves her and would be there for her. She was still confused, though. Then, he called her by her old nickname, Roza.
It felt like a bullet just went through her mind. She remembered him more and it triggered a lot of major memories of him. Such as when they met, how they met, and when they dated and broke up. It made her heart swell and eyes water as she remembered how she had felt about him; she also the reason behind their break up. Dimitri was her dream guy. He was everything she ever wanted and more but she felt like she didn't deserve him. She felt insecure about herself and guilty because she started thinking about Adrian. Her feelings for Adrian were controlled then and she was able to suppress it but she still broke up with Dimitri because of that. It wasn't fair to him so she let him go so that he can find someone else. Consequently, Adrian and her started dating right after. She felt guilt in her heart the whole time but suppressed it by saying she did Dimitri a favor by breaking up with him.
But now, that was no longer the case. The memories and guilt filled her heart. She could no longer suppress any of the guilt. She didn't say anything to him about it though, not wanting anyone to know how she felt. She remembered how much breaking up with him broke his heart and knew no apology would be able to suffice. All she could do was to at least remember him; she didn't want to hurt him anymore.
Rose then told Dimitri she remembers him. He was glad and so was she. They talked about what happened between her and Adrian. The typical conversation of "why would he do this?" "does he even love me?" and even "why won't he talk to me?" She hated conversations like this. She hated opening her heart so easily when all she wanted to do was keep it closed.
Most of their conversation went along like this; some of it was him trying to comfort her. Although she was glad he's the only one who could talk sense into and probably calm her down, he couldn't fully heal the wound in her heart that Adrian had made. It hurt too much.
Rose knew she was being a bit selfish. She wanted to apologize to Dimitri about crying to him, breaking his heart, and everything but she couldn't bring herself to because she was afraid of him. She was afraid he would get mad or even curse at her, although he doesn't seem to be the type to swear. What she could do for him was to not bring up anything about their past relationship. She didn't want to hurt him again.
Maybe Dimitri had sensed some of Rose's selfishness but he didn't say a thing. As much as she tried focusing on Dimitri, she had to keep in her mind that Adrian isn't talking to her and she had to find out why. She asked him and he said Adrian had spent the night on his couch crying himself to sleep all night. She felt even more guilty. She had been harsh to him the night before when he told her.
It was getting late for Rose, so she logged off and went to bed. As she laid in her room, she cried as she fell asleep. In her mind and her heart, she knew if she wasn't so selfish, maybe Dimitri wouldn't have been heartbroken, maybe Adrian wouldn't be crying either, and maybe even things wouldn't be so hard for everyone. She knew it was all her fault.
Later on, she would feel even more guilt and pain.
So, this is one of the hard parts to write. I realized how bad I was at that time. Many of you are probably calling me a selfish b*tch right now but whatever, who hasn't been selfish at least once in their life? I'm not usually a selfish person but I guess this situation made me that way. I'm glad to say I'm not anymore.