After she had decided to break the spell Frigga had cast to bind her magic, Maryn used every available minute of the day to search through Asgard's extensive library to find a spell book that would help. Knowing of the fear her friends and family had for her sanity and well-being, she used strong cloaking spells to make sure she looked healthier and stronger and potions to help her sleep soundly and rest her body. Soon, the glamour wasn't needed any more as her body was rallying.
Her days in the library meant that she wasn't outside much but she made sure to spend time with Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three hunting and sparring so they would not question her time spent closeted away. Only Fenrir knew the true effort she put in to finding a bind-breaking spell. Even Tora, whom Maryn had not forgiven for her request to abandon Loki, was unaware of where she went during the times she was not with her friends or at Frigga's side. Maryn was sure the Allmother knew she was disappearing to the library but felt confident she did not know the reason she was there.
Finding many different books containing spells that would break a magical shackle, Maryn chose to find a quiet place to practice each spell.
She found that the best place to practice magic without fear of being found, interrupted or stopped was the lagoon Loki had enchanted so that only they could find it.
Returning the first time to the beautiful place was hard. When she arrived with Fenrir at her side, she stood on the edge of the water, her hands smoothing restlessly over the sleeveless black tunic she wore over black breeches, its uneven hem allowing freedom of movement where a gown would not. However, the high collar felt too tight for a moment and Maryn had to breathe deeply for a few beats of her heart to stay calm. Pulling the black veil from her hair and face, she dropped it to the ground beside her, the sapphire earrings, black rings set with diamonds and blue crystal ring she wore were also added to the pile. Waving her hand, she magicked her hair up into a spiral braid, which she secured into a bun at the nape of her neck.
Free of the constraints and trappings of court, she walked into the water. Ignoring when her black leather boots filled with water and her clothes became sodden, she stopped when the water was to her waist. Closing her eyes, she placed her hands flat to the surface of the lagoon and started working through the spells she had found and memorized.
The water around her shivered as the first spell grew, only for it to fade away as its power waned and dissipated, it wasn't strong enough.
With a frustrated sound, Maryn opened her eyes and glanced over her shoulder at her wolf. The hulking animal lay curled up on the edge of the lagoon, his head on his paws and his bright gaze on her. Taking a deep, steadying breath, Maryn focussed on the next spell, bowing her head and her eyes sliding closed once more.
This incantation felt stronger and she sensed it slip into her mind and through her body. It searched out the magical bind inside her but wasn't strong enough to do much more than that.
Refusing to give up, Maryn tried again and again, but each spell was as disappointing as the one before. Some hurt her, searing her body with invisible fire, or ripping at her mind, but she couldn't give up…she wouldn't.
Panting, she dragged herself from the lagoon as the sun began to set, shivering with exhaustion, cold, and hunger, having spent the entire day in the water. Fenrir curled his body around her, sharing his heat and whining as she pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes in frustration. Maryn turned her face to his neck and wrapped her arms around his head, drawing strength from him, her emotions too muted for her to cry.
When she was calm once more, she pulled away and looked him in the eyes, "I will try again tomorrow."
He whined again and then moved back so that she could stand.
Drained, Maryn pulled on her jewellery and veil before climbing onto her wolf's back so that he could carry her back to the palace. Once within sight of the walls of the palace, she slipped from his back and walked beside him to her chambers. When they entered, she ignored her maids' frantic words and waved them away, her tired gaze slipping from Tora's as she dismissed everyone. Alone, she stripped out of her damp clothes, dressed in a warm nightgown, ate the food that had been left on the small table near her bed for her, and then mixed up her sleeping potion. Draining the cup, she slipped into bed and curled into Fenrir's side. He slept in bed with her, comforting her if she had a nightmare and sharing his warmth with her.
Over the following weeks, her days continued in the same way. With every spell that failed to work, her resolve broke down and sadness set in. If she couldn't destroy the binding spell she would not be able to truly know if Loki's voice waking her from her dream had been real or a figment of her imagination.