The next week seemed to last forever. I did not go back to Cedric, and he did not seek me. Ian had settled in and unlike before, he was cold toward me, but I noticed he still treated Roland with deference. His parents, the Duke and Duchess of Kerth, Clain and Merrin, arrived three days after Ian, to discuss the wedding and the future. Roland enjoyed being the host, and required me to join the duchess and Amber in their activities. I was ignored by the ladies, but I learned a lot by keeping my ears open.

I gathered that there had been a split in the kingdom many years ago, as Amber's grandfather, King Stephen's father, had been part of a coup in which the old king's family had been murdered. Amber, through Roland, apparently was distantly related to the deposed king as well as the current king. I thought it through and decided that she would be a good match politically, and wondered how it was that Ian was the man who won her hand. Then I got the impression his family had accepted the new royal family, but secretly joined others, like Roland, who wanted to see someone from the old royal family on the throne.

I thought perhaps Amber was the one everyone wanted to be queen but then she and the duchess began to speak of a cousin who was everyone's best hope. My thoughts drifted back to the letter I had read on Roland's desk and my stomach began to ache. Is this why Roland said we are in danger? Is this why Cedric says it is too dangerous for me to leave by myself? I sighed.

"I fear we are boring my future step-mother," Amber laughed. The duchess scoffed and it was my turn to ignore them for the split second they did pay attention to me.

Ten days after my invitation was sent to Johnna, I received her reply. Her handwriting was precise, her script beautiful, and I was jealous. However, she said she would arrive within the month, and I was glad. A smile on my face, I ran to find Roland, who shared in my excitement. Then, more somber because it had been more than a week since I had seen him, I went to share the news with Cedric.

The sorcerer was greatly relieved and said he would begin to make sure details would be ready for Johnna's arrival. It was awkward between us now and I had no idea how to fix it. There was a short rap at the door and then it opened, Ian stepping inside.

"Lord Ian," Cedric smiled. "How may I help you."

"I'm not interrupting?" Ian looked between us. Cedric and I were a good distance apart so there was nothing to be embarrassed about, but I felt myself blush anyway.

"Not at all," Cedric grimaced at the same time I waved the letter from Johnna in the air and mumbled something about just leaving. I slipped through the door and read the letter again as I went to my room, trying to forget how much my chest hurt at seeing Cedric, and not having his arms around me.

The Duke and Duchess left a couple days later, which freed me from having to be with Amber. I stopped in to play with Michael each day, returned to my riding lessons, and sometimes had a private meal with Roland, when he was available and requested it. I finally found the courage over lunch to ask him about what I had overheard from Amber and Duchess Merrin.

Roland frowned. "They should not have been speaking so openly. I apologize, Sofia, but the less you know right now, the better."

"Is that why you said it is too dangerous for me to go to the cemetery?"

"Yes."

"Could I go if I take some guards?"

"No." He filled his mouth with food.

"Could you take me?"

He chewed and swallowed. "Should I be concerned that you are so infatuated with the dead, Sofia?"

I gasped. "It's my mother and my best friend! They weren't just…some people I barely knew."

"I'll have Baileywick see to fresh flowers being laid on the graves. You are not allowed to go there."

I could not help but pout and Roland laughed. He lay his napkin by his plate and held out his hand to help me up from the chair. "Come with me." I took his arm and we left his study, going through to the adjoining room I had never been in before. It was a sitting room which then led to Roland's bedroom.

My stomach flipflopped wondering why he had brought me here, but also marveling at the ornate furniture. The bed was immense, nearly the size of a house Mother and I lived in with another family when I was little. A copper tub peaked out from behind a partition on a tile floor in one corner. There were shelves filled with books and crowns and swords.

I was about to say, "This is your room?" when Roland's tongue was in my mouth and he was pushing me toward his bed. My immediate reaction was to push away from him but then I relaxed, thinking he would not hurt me. Then Roland's hand went to my neck and he forced me down on the bed. I grabbed his wrist and tried to loosen his grip, but he held my neck tight.

"You will not question my rules again, Sofia," his teeth traveled across my jaw, "but damn if your belligerent pouting doesn't make me lose my control." It was then that I realized his other hand had lifted my skirt and he was pressing himself against me.

"Roland," I managed to choke. He did not release my neck.

"Shut up." He unbuttoned his pants and then began to untie my smallclothes.

It was getting hard to breathe and with one hand I fumbled at slowing him from undressing me. "Please!" The word that came from me did not even sound like a word and my vision was becoming gray at the edges. My heart beat faster as I realized I was going to be strangled to death, and the duke would never know in time. I reached out to pull his hair while his free hand ripped open the bodice of my gown, his lips going toward my breasts.

A scream shattered the room and I thought it was mine but after a few moments, I realized it was not. I sucked air in, painfully. It was like my lungs would not work. Slipping off the bed to the floor, I lay there, listening to screams of pain, while I tried to breathe. Soon there were other voices, yelling, and I felt myself lifted and carried to my room.

After a while, a physician came to look at me. By then, I was breathing, and though I shook badly, I managed to get myself into a nightgown and robe. The physician looked at my neck and when he asked to look elsewhere I protested and said it was only my neck that hurt. His eyes narrowed and he told the servant that the sorcerer would know what to give me to calm my nerves.

When he was gone, I asked the servant if she knew what had happened to Duke Roland. "His face was badly burned, my lady. Whomever attacked you and the duke…they have not been caught." She turned to look away from me. I had no recollection of anyone else being in the room with Roland and me, but then it dawned on me. We had been found in his room, with his pants open, and my dress up and ripped. My hands covered my face in shame.

"I'll see Cedric, my lady, to get you…something for your nerves." She hurried out.

I wanted to stop her. I did not want Cedric to know anything about this, but it was likely too late. He seemed to know everything that happened in the castle. Oh, Cedric, I cried. Forgive me.

Roland came to my room minutes before Cedric. He demanded to know what I had done to him. I swallowed and shook my head. His face was burned, badly, the top layer of skin already blistered and peeling. "How is it that I look like this and there is nothing wrong with you?"

"My neck is bruised," I said quietly, still shaking.

The door opened after a short rap, and Cedric entered the fray. "Oh, your neck! Look at me! We were supposed to attend a ball this week-end and now I will have to cancel. Do you understand what this means?"

"I may have something that can help, your Grace," Cedric offered, ignoring me.

Roland looked at him. "Do you?"

"Is it painful?"

"Of course, it is painful! It's a burn! Do you think you can tell me how this happened? How she injured me?"

I folded my arms across my stomach, nauseous.

"If you could tell me the circumstances…" Cedric began.

"The circumstances do not matter. What did you teach her? Is there some powder she could have procured that would do this?"

"There are powders that can do such a thing but not in my laboratory. And I did not teach Lady Sofia magic."

Roland turned back to me. "I ought to throw you in the dungeon until everyone forgets you exist! Attend to me, Cedric."

From the corner of my eye I saw Cedric gaze my way before following Roland out the door. I refused to look at either of them. At the moment, the dungeon sounded inviting. No one to bother me. No way to get into trouble. They could all forget me just as I would forget them. Tears leaked from my eyes.

Rubbing the soreness of my neck, and swallowing through pain in my throat, I sat in a chair next to the window. I could not wait for Johnna to arrive; I had to leave as soon as possible, and I would not inform even Cedric.

Hours later, as I lay in bed, in horrendous pain, Cedric finally came back. He looked at my neck, his hands feeling cool on my burning skin. "I know it was the amulet, Sofia. What happened?"

"It hurts," I whispered. He nodded and gave me a liquid to drink before rubbing a salve on my skin. The drink brought immediate relief, but also an overwhelming fatigue. He waited a few minutes and I began to drift.

"Sofia," he woke me. "Tell me what happened."

"He was…" I sighed, finally feeling greater relief from the pain. "It was nothing."

"Don't lie to me."

I looked at him hard from my pillow. "I'm very tired."

Brushing my hair back from my face, Cedric came closer. "Everything is set."

"For what?"

"For us to leave."

"I didn't think you were leaving."

"Not at the same time as you, but I will shortly after."

I looked away. "All right."

"Sofia, trust me, ok? Please don't do anything rash."

I wanted him to leave, but I also did not want him to go. One hand cupped my cheek, his other was holding my hand. "Could you lock the door and stay with me for a while?" I whispered.

He nodded, rose and locked my door, then returned to the bed.

"Lay down?" I moved over to make room. Cedric hesitated, but then acquiesced, sliding under the blanket next to me.

We reclined awkwardly, but then I moved his arm so it was around me and I lay my head on his chest, one arm caught between us, and the other on his stomach. I felt him swallow. "If we are caught-"

"I don't care."

He was silent for a few minutes and I could hear his heart beating rapidly. "I do care. He's already threatened to throw you in the dungeon and if I lose my job I can't provide for you even the plan moves forward."

I pushed up from his chest and glared down at him. "I never realized what a coward you were, Cedric. I want you to leave."

He sat up as well. "A coward?"

"Now!"

"You think I'm a coward?"

"Yes, I do. Leave."

"Why? Why do you think I am a coward?"

"Look at me!" My throat was still painful, especially the harsher my voice was but I did not stop. "I could have died! But you want me to keep playing along. I may not be alive long enough for the plan. And all you are worried about is your job. And you have magic! Can't you even use magic for something productive?" He eyes were strained but angry.

Moving to face me directly on the bed he retorted, "You refused to tell me what happened. And as for my job, I don't care about my job. I thought if we waited, I would be able to find something in the future to take care of you. Roland would make it nearly impossible for me to find work elsewhere. And as to using magic, Roland limited the legal use of magic here years ago, and I, admittedly, have become used to doing more research and less actual magic. I'm sorry, Sofia. The past weeks have been torture for me. I love you. I don't want him near you, especially now." He reached out for me again and I pulled away. "I will figure something out, immediately." He ran his hand down my arm and I jerked away from his reach.

Before I knew it, he pushed me back on the bed, his lips crashing onto mine. I was still mad at him, but he tasted so good. I had missed him. He was nothing like Roland. His torso was pressed against mine and I heard him groan slightly. He pulled away and I whimpered. "Do you still love me, Sofia?" His eyes were pleading.

"Yes, Cedric. I love you so much it hurts, but I can't do this anymore. I just can't."

"I won't ask it of you. I have an idea."

"What will you do?"

"If I tell you, you won't be surprised." He kissed me again, then lay next to me.

"Cedric?"

"Mmmm?" His eyes were closed, and his arm was around me.

"I don't want Roland to be my first."

The sorcerer's eyes flew open. "You think he would? You aren't married."

"He tried today." I saw the anger flare in Cedric's eyes as he fought within himself. "Will you…make love to me?"

"Yes, but not tonight."

"Why?" Now I was mad again and thinking again the Cedric was a coward.

"You are injured, and I want it to be special for you. Besides, that will be the last thing the duke thinks of when I… when I…. do some work tomorrow." He saw my brow crinkle and laughed. "I told you that I couldn't tell you what I'm going to do."

His arms pulled me tight and he became my pillow again. "Sleep, Sofia. I'll hold you." It only took a few minutes for slip into dreams in Cedric's arms.