Two days later, Johnna arrived. Roland and I met her at the front, and she and I linked arms as we walked inside so I could show her to her room. We had put her a short way down the hall from me. "I can't believe you came!" I smiled when we were alone and she laughed at me.

"Of course, I came. I believe we have some plans to discuss." She saw my smile falter. "What is it?"

"There's just… so much going on. I don't know where to start."

"Perhaps we should invite Cedric for tea and…"

"We can't do that." Her brow furrowed. "What I mean is, here, it's not proper to invite the sorcerer to your room unless you are ill. Roland has different rules than other duchies. I didn't really know that until we travelled to the palace."

"Well then," Johnna smiled. "Perhaps you will give me time to wash and get refreshed, and then, we can summon the sorcerer for a headache remedy." She put her hand to her head and giggled. "I distinctly feel a headache approaching. It should be here in say, half an hour?"

"Would tea help, Lady Johnna?" I played along.

"I think tea would definitely be a good start for a remedy, but if Cedric has something more powerful…"

Moving to the door, I said, "I will have tea brought up, and then if your head hurts, we will send for his help." We both laughed, and I left.

A short time later, before I sent a servant for Cedric, I filled Johnna in on nearly everything that had happened since King Stephen had banished Roland and me. She listened but also asked a lot of questions. "I see you have little problem calling him Roland now. Are you having second thoughts about Cedric?"

I shook my head. "I'm afraid he's having second thoughts about me. And there is more to tell, but it would be easier for me to tell you when Cedric is here, as I have not spoken to him in several days. I've been quite… foolish. And I need to change our plans a bit."

Johnna nodded slowly. "So, is this the right time to tell you the pain in my head is excruciating?"

I hid my smile behind a worried face and called a servant to fetch Cedric and some headache medicine right away. While we waited, Johnna reclined on the settee and tried to look miserable. Cedric arrived promptly, and only after the servant had left did he ask if the potion was truly needed.

Sitting up straight, Johnna motioned for him to sit down. "Is everything ready on your end?"

Cedric nodded and sat. Looking between us, he said, "Sofia's escort is waiting nearby. She can leave anytime."

"I need to make a change." They both looked at me. "I need to take Michael with me."

"Impossible," said Cedric and "Why?" asked Johnna, completely surprised.

"He's in danger."

"I don't think Amber will really hurt him, Sofia."

"I made a mistake, Cedric. Roland said there was danger before but now we are in worse danger."

"I think you better explain," said Johnna.

Telling the story about Ian and the blackmail was hard, but then sharing what I had learned and how I could not leave Michael was harder. "I don't know if Ian meant he wanted Michael out of the way, or if it really was someone else, but if Ian is working with King Stephan then I'm sure the king will want to kill Michael too. He's just a baby," I pleaded.

Johnna sighed, her finger tapping her lips as she thought.

"Why didn't you tell me any of this before?" Cedric asked.

"Because Ian was watching. And I thought if I could do what he asked that would be it. I never realized this was going to cause problems for so many people."

"And this won't be over," Cedric said. "He will keep using you."

"I was going to run away, on my own, but once he threatened Michael I couldn't. And then I was going to take Michael, and run, but things just keeps happening."

"You made sure the letters were completely burned?"

"Yes, once Roland was gone, I checked."

"Once Roland was gone?" I realized I neglected to say that Roland had spent the night. Well, I didn't neglect to say it, I didn't want Cedric to know. My face flushed. "He stayed the night with you?"

"I had to get him away from the fireplace, and turn his thoughts from why Ian may have been in my room." Cedric was angry and I saw jealousy etched in every part of his face.

"Is there anyone else who can take Michael? Someone outside the village perhaps?"

I shrugged my shoulders. Cedric was still looking at me. I felt ill.

"Cedric?" asked Johnna.

"What?" he was short with her but she ignored it.

"Do you know of anyone who can take the baby? The plan would not work well if Michael was involved."

"It may not work at all. I'm not allowed to take him outside the castle. I'm lucky I've been given permission to go riding with you, Johnna."

"There is a woman near here that has a son who likely will not live long. I've been treating his illness. He's about the same age as Michael. I suppose I could find a way to do something."

"The sooner, the better," Johnna nodded.

Cedric and I looked at each other. It was as if a myriad of emotions and things we wanted to say to each other were tumbling inside each of us, but there was no way to get out.

"I've been here long enough," Cedric stood. "When your headache returns, Lady Johnna, please call for me. I have things to do."

"Thank you, Sir Cedric," she smiled.

I gave him a weak smile though I wanted to jump up and hug him and tell him I loved him and that everything would be ok. But I could not and he left.

"I think the two of you need to talk." Johnna remarked.

"Yes, we do," I sighed.

"Well, while we are both here, what shall we do?"

"I daresay you will not want to go riding this afternoon as you just arrived, but maybe a walk in the garden before supper?"

"That sounds lovely."

Supper was more than tolerable, as Johnna was skilled in keeping a conversation going, even with Amber who cared little for anyone whose friendship did not benefit her. Roland was a gracious host, and it seemed he forgot all the worries that the previous days had brought. His smile came easy, his eyes twinkled and I found myself staring at him, thinking of how handsome he was. He caught me looking at him and I looked away, blushing, but still smiling.

"Will you be coming with us next week to the ball at Lord Kevan's home, Johnna?" Amber asked.

"I did bring a ball gown," Johnna smiled. "Is everyone going?"

"We are," Roland nodded. "They are close enough we will come home that night."

"I'd love to go," Johnna sat back in her chair.

"Let's retire to the drawing room," Roland threw down his napkin and stood, helping both Johnna and me from our chairs. The five of us walked to the room together amicably. Johnna sat in a chair while Roland sat next to me on a sofa, taking my hand in his. He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I saw you looking at me," while Amber and Ian found their seats. I flushed again.

"Tell me about Jane," said Amber. "Is she happy with her choice of fiancé?"

Ian scoffed. "Are you not?"

Amber rolled her eyes, then looked back to Johnna.

"She's very happy," Johnna smiled. "The wedding will be just after the season finishes. Jane has decided on a dark blue gown for the wedding." I knew Johnna added that detail just for Amber.

"She will look divine in dark blue," Amber crooned. "I guess I will have to take that color off my list."

"It's about time you whittle down some of your options." Ian hid a smile behind his glass of wine, but I could not smile with him, my hate for him growing.

"Ian, be quiet!"

"I expect you'll receive an invitation soon." Johnna went on.

Amber was pleased. "And since I will be in the area, I could pop in to see my family in the palace. Won't that be wonderful, Ian?"

My breath caught. Roland noticed and squeezed my hand. If Ian was going to see the king, he could give the king the list of names. I felt nauseous, and put my hand to my head.

"Are you well?" Roland asked.

"I had a terrible headache earlier," Johnna said. "I hope it was not contagious."

"I'm sorry you did not feel well, Johnna." Roland looked concerned.

"Oh, your sorcerer fixed me up quite fast. He had just the right thing."

"Cedric is a great healer. Perhaps you should retire, Sofia, and I'll have Cedric sent to treat you."

I was going to say no, especially as Amber and Ian were watching me carefully, but then decided otherwise. "Perhaps that would be a good idea."

"I will help her to her room and wait with her," Johnna offered. "It has been a long day and I am fatigued myself."

"Thank you, Lady Johnna." We stood and Roland embraced me, then kissed me, in front of everyone. I wanted to push away, but I wanted this. He was good looking and even though things were not always good, I could forgive him for the mistakes he made, but then I remembered what I had done to put us in jeopardy and how he would never forgive me.

I pulled away. "Good night, Roland," I said, red as ever, feeling Amber's eyes boring into me. I did not look at her but I did catch Ian's eyes. He was laughing inwardly. I turned, and left with Johnna.

Johnna excused herself as soon as Cedric came. She told me that I needed to make things right with him, whether it was choosing to stay with Roland, or choosing to leave and connect with Cedric later.

"Are you really not feeling well?" Cedric asked.

"Yes, but it is nothing that you can treat."

"Then tell me what the problem is."

I paused. "It's everything."

Cedric sat next to me. "Can you tell me about it?"

I studied his face. He was not the handsome that Roland was, but I still thought him attractive. I began to raise my hand wanting to run my fingers through his hair, then paused, then thought, why not? His hair was thick, and felt good in my hand, which then trailed down to his face. I looked at his lips and remembered how they had felt on mine the first time.

When our eyes met, I wanted to cry. His eyes were beautiful, but wounded. We both swallowed, nervous to break the silence, afraid of breaking the contact. I closed my eyes and dove in, pushing my lips onto his. He kissed me back so hard I was sure my lips would bruise, and when we opened our mouths for air our tongues met.

Cedric pulled me onto his lap and began to kiss my neck. Surprisingly, instead of it tickling, I felt a shock running through me that made me moan. He pulled the pins from my hair so that it fell around my shoulders, and then ran his hands through it.

I pushed away from him and climbed off his lap, nearly stumbling.

"Sofia." I ran to the door, locked it, and turned around. Reaching behind me, I pulled the strings to my dress, loosening it, and started to unlace the corset underneath, while I moved back to Cedric. He stood and met me. His arms went around me, and mine went to undo the front of his robe. Our lips met again, slow, but hard, and his hands continued releasing me from my clothing.

When my dress fell down, and I was left standing in a loose corset and small clothes, Cedric stepped back and looked at me. I pulled the sleeve of his robe and it slid off one side and I pulled his shirt out from being tucked in his pants, then raised it and ran my hands over his chest, and then his sides as his lips and teeth found my neck. Moaning, and panting, I found his nipples were hard like mine against my fingertips.

Before I knew it, I was completely naked in my room with Cedric. The look he gave me was full of lust, and he lifted me and carried me to the bed. "If you want me to stop, tell me now, Sofia."

"Cedric," I pulled his shirt over his head. "I want you to know that whatever happens, I do love you, and if I have a choice, it is you." He leaned over to kiss me, but his lips were only there a second before they were on my shoulder, and then his thumbs brushed over my nipples, causing me to gasp, another shock reverberating through my body. Then I felt his mouth on my breast, licking and teasing. I could not help but moan and my hips lifted, meeting his. I felt a bulge in the front of his pants and reached down but he caught my wrist, and pinned both my hands above my head, his mouth paying attention to my breasts.

"Cedric," I panted. I felt I needed to say something but thought alluded me. He moved and somehow his knee ended up between my legs. The urge to scoot down and use his knee to relieve the sensation in between my legs was great.

He let go of my wrists as his lips moved farther down, kissing and licking my belly. I put my hands on his shoulders, feeling his muscles, and then the hair on his head as his mouth moved even farther down. My eyes flew open and I hoarsely whispered "Cedric" when his tongue touched the area that my fingers had found several days before.

He did not stop, and I could not have made him. The feelings he produced in my body was overpowering and with one hand I grasped his hair, and my other hand grabbed a pillow to plant over my face, as I felt like screaming, and the outcome of that would be very bad.

His hands reached up to touch my breasts as he tickled me with his tongue and I could not help but thrust my pelvis in his face. "Cedric, what are you doing to me?" I panted. "I feel like-" I could not finish the sentence as a pressure built inside me. It was as if Cedric knew and he changed what he was doing, still pleasurable, but not helping to release whatever was inside me that needed to come out. He pinched my nipples hard and sucked on me hard. It was painful, but enjoyably so.

Then his tongue moved differently again, and I cried out in frustration, his hair still in my fist. "What do you want, Sofia?" he asked.

"I don't know."

He started to trace his tongue along the sides of my opening. I squirmed and he had to hold my hips in place. "Tell me what you want."

"I don't know. I've never had this before." He lightly kissed the inside of my thighs, then bit down hard.

"Sofia, who do you want?"

"You, Cedric. I want you. And I want you to have me," I was pleading now. His tongue went back to that area and moved around, and fast, and I felt an enormous pressure. "Cedric, I think I'm going to explode." He did not listen to me and suddenly, it felt like I did explode. I pressed the pillow over my face and felt my body convulse in ways it never had before. I could barely breathe. Cedric moved, and when I looked up, he was removing the last of his clothing, then climbed on top of me again.

I ran my hands over his chest, sides and back, afraid to touch the very obvious member sticking out from the front of him. "I need you, Sofia," he kissed me, pressing his body against mine. I could taste something on him, and knew it must have been what made me wet.

"Please be gentle?"

"I will." Parting my legs wider, he leaned on one hand while using his other to place his manhood where he had just been licking. Then he took one of my nipples in his mouth and bit down as he thrust into me. I cried out, but Cedric did not move. He kissed my nipple apologetically, then told me to take a deep breath.

"When you are ready, I'll start."

"I'm ready." He did not need more encouragement. He went slow at first, moving in and out of me. It was slightly painful, but it was becoming more pleasurable, and I could tell Cedric was urgent for something.

"I love you, Cedric." He kissed me while thrusting and we both moaned together.

"So…good," he said. I hooked my ankles on his backside and it seemed to give him better access to go deeper into me. I moaned from the pain and pulled him closer.

"Oh, Cedric," my hips began to thrust on their own, and he picked up the pace. He kissed me, and fondled a breast with one hand. "I love you," I whispered.

This went on for a while until suddenly it was as if he became bigger inside me and I could feel a pulsing sensation. His breathing was ragged, and he thrust harder then before, but only a few times. Then he fell forward onto me, supporting most of his weight on his arms but laying his head on my chest, breathing hard.

I ran my fingers through his hair, then reached down to rub his shoulders. "Cedric?" He had not spoken and I was afraid he was hurt. Pulling himself out of me, my sorcerer moved up in the bed, slipped under the blanket and pulled me against him so our bodies were still touching.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"I don't know if words can describe it."

He chuckled. "You are mine, Sofia. Just remember that. I love you, and I am your first." He kissed my smiling mouth. "I'm staking my claim right now."

I laughed and trailed my hand down his chest. "I suppose I'll let you stake your claim."

"I love you, Sofia. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Do you think the plan will work?"

He held me close as our heartbeats slowed. "It has to. I'm not giving up on you and me."