Chapter Nine

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Was snow going to fall in Konoha this year?

Sasuke's breath came out in opaline wisps. It had been years since snow had last fallen in Konoha, but as the end of November drew nearer and the temperatures dropped and people began to dress warmer he wondered if this would be the year. There was a different kind of chill in the air.

It was nearing twilight. He had just finished up his work for the day, dreading that tomorrow he was carded for Administrative duties on top of his duties as Head of the Transnational Organized Drug Trade Unit and being one of the Hokage's advisors. Plus he just remembered that he had promised to spar with Naruto tomorrow morning. At least he was going to start the day right by pounding Naruto into a hole in the ground. An evil smirk crawled onto his face.

"You would have made a really, really great evil, genius, bastard overlord." Shikamaru said as he sidled up to him, lighting a cigarette.

"I was most of those things already."

"Yeah and now you're just an ineffectual loner." Shikamaru mumbled.

"What?"

"Forget about it. Listen, we may need your eyes on Hinata."

Sasuke internally groaned. One minute they're telling him to stay away, the next they're telling him to get closer.

"Why?"

"Did you read her report?"

"No."

"Well, we need you to evaluate if she's good enough to go back into active duty."

"I'm not a fucking psychologist."

"Read her report." Shikamaru shoved a file into Sasuke's chest, just barely managing to avoid tacking on 'asshole' at the end of his sentence. "After you're done with that, read my proposal. You'll find that she might be useful to your Unit. Let me know what you think and we'll see if Naruto will approve it."

Shikamaru walked off leaving Sasuke to stand in the middle of the quadrangle like a gargoyle statue, his face set into a grimace. He was getting a headache. He started to walk aimlessly, pulling up his black, high collared, long sleeve jacket against the chill. He could really do with a hot cup of chrysanthemum tea right now, but he was so sick and tired of Hinata.

The more he thought about it, the more he agreed that Ino was right. He had no claim to Hinata and his behaviour regarding her was rather shameful considering that he had only allowed her into his life for a few weeks. When he thought about it, her friendship had affected him deeply, and the thought of that affected him deeply.

It was a different friendship, the likes of which he had never had before, he thought and he suspected one of the main reasons for that was because he sought it out. He was the one that made conversation when there was none, he was the one that invited her to dinner when he saw her crying atop that river, he was the one that insisted on her helping him with the house, and though she offered tea, he was the one that accepted. He was more open to her than to anyone in his life since the days of trailing behind his brother and mother.

But something shifted in him the more he thought about it. She did not care for or appreciate their friendship the way he had. She never did, even when she was married to Naruto he was barely a background character. She would politely greet him whenever she saw him, but not once did she ever seek him out. And she was so weak too! How could she crumple over the death of her son, especially when Naruto had so clearly moved on? Pathetic! As a ninja, you were trained to stifle your emotions, not be crippled by them. And how could she not know that he was trying, allowing himself to be more open with her, but the more he did that, the further she withdrew emotionally. She was the only person with whom he dared bring up the memory of Itachi. She never brought up what happened between her and Naruto. They were missing a fundamental understanding of each other and because of that he realized that he could never have any claim to her in friendship or otherwise. He barely knew her. Forget about that "slowly over time" nonsense when she was only 'sometimes' interested in him!

Reason briefly entered his mind that he did the same thing when it came to others that sought out his friendship, but it was quickly cast aside. He preferred to think of her of selfish, weak and deceitful. Her last words to him resonated. "Don't worry about me, Sasuke-san." Well, he wouldn't!

He began the same process that he used for his parents, for Naruto and for Itachi – Cutting Out of an Infection – where he painted black all memories, hardened all his emotions. He threw away the one remaining tea bowl. He threw away all tea that he had bought for her. He was thinking of selling the farmhouse, but he had spent a good deal on not so much the house, but the acres of land that it was on, so he thought about putting up a high wall instead, so that he didn't have to see the top of her house if he ever set foot on the roof. And finally, he hadn't gone to see her when Naruto returned with her. No matter that he heard that Naruto found her on the brink of death. He threw a bucket of black paint on his mind. She had been back for nearly a month, but his mind was black like the bottom of a well and his heart hardened like the steel of his katana.

He went to train.

"Just sip a glass every day," Hanabi said to Hinata as she handed her sister a tall glass of a thick green liquid.

Today was the day that the bandages were supposed to come off of her eyes and Hinata sat up eagerly, though a bit unwilling knowing that she still had to drink the foul concoction that her father insisted was good for her eyes. Hinata groaned.

She had the bandages on for about a month because of the eye strain she suffered on that mission, that disastrous mission, though when Shikamaru came to see her he had said that it wasn't as bad as she thought and left it at that.

Light slowly started to peek through as the bandages were removed. Hinata blinked slowly and saw her sister's luminescent eyes staring back at her.

"How do you feel?"

"Fine."

Hanabi looked at her sister. Ignoring that her sister had suffered severe dehydration, dysentery and chakra exhaustion, she couldn't help but note that Hinata had a way about her recently as if she couldn't raise up her head. Not physically, but spiritually or emotionally. For two years now, since the death of her nephew, Hanabi noted this crippling of her sister and it hurt her because nothing anyone tried seemed to be able to get her sister to brighten. Sometimes there were brief moments of lightness. She even remembered seeing her sister smiling with Sasuke Uchiha when she entertained him one rainy evening. Sasuke Uchiha of all people! Hinata had been eschewing most company for the better part of two years now and there she was smiling and having tea with Sasuke Uchiha! but during the last month since Hinata returned from her mission, there was a heaviness about her.

"Ok then. That's good to hear. Sakura said that she'll come after her shift at the hospital."

"It's okay –"

"I know. I already told her that I'd take care of it. I don't know why Naruto insisted that Sakura had to help you. Hmmph! Salt to a wound. A Hyuuga should care for Hyuuga eyes."

"You need to stop drinking tea for other people's fevers, Koi-san." Hinata chastised her lightly and Hanabi blushed and laughed at the old nickname. She was glad that her sister was still around to call her that.

"Do you want to take a walk?

"Maybe later."

Hanabi gave her sister a watery smile. She wanted to take her sister's hand and pull her up from whatever pit she had fallen into. Whatever it was that was keeping Hinata's head down, was physically ravaging her. She had always been fair, but for almost a year now the blue veins in her hands and face could be seen too clearly. Her smile never reached her eyes, which looked dull and puffy all the time. She didn't know what to do.

"Okay then." She capitulated easily, regretfully.

Sakura slowly made her way over to the Hyuuga Compound. It was nearing six o'clock and she had finished her shift at the hospital nearly two hours ago, but she managed to find all sorts of things to do before she could delay no more and she had to go see Hinata. She had no problem being Hinata's physician (though it was really Naruto that insisted), but she simply wished that she could treat Hinata without her knowing that it was Sakura who was her Healer.

It was always soooooooo awkward between the two of them now. She never knew what to say. And Hinata was always achingly polite, not necessarily friendly mind you, but unnervingly polite. It grated on Sakura's pride – what was left of it.

The maid had escorted Sakura to Hinata's room where the sliding door was just a bit ajar, enough for Sakura to hear,

"––– know why Naruto insisted that Sakura had to help you. Hmmph! Salt to a wound. A Hyuuga should care for Hyuuga eyes."

"You need to stop drinking tea for other people's fevers, Koi-san." Hinata chastised her lightly and Hanabi laughed.

"Do you want to take a walk?

"Maybe later."

"Okay then."

The maid could have interrupted at any time, but instead she kneeled before the door and only seemed to be resurrected into action when Hanabi opened the door and was more than a little surprised to see Sakura and the maid standing there. The look that Hanabi gave that maid was enough to suck tears from eyes and melt skin from bones. It was only a fleeting look before she looked up and gave Sakura a tight smile.

"Hanabi-sama, Haruno-san is here to see Hinata-dono." The maid bowed deeply, her head nearly touching the floor.

"Of course. Come in, Sakura-san. I'll leave you to your examination."

"Thank you."

"Sakura-san, I'm really sorry that you had to hear that." Hinata said as soon as the two of them were alone. "May I apologize on behalf of Hanabi-chan and Akemi? She should have been more…respectful of your presence."

Sakura wanted to groan. Hinata was always so formal around her now. They both remembered a time when they got drunk, or rather Sakura got drunk, in the kitchen of this very house.

"Are you okay?" Hinata asked. They had been downing their sake like shots for the last hour or so. It was late. No one was around. Sakura was well on her way to being a little drunk. Actually, Sakura had passed 'a little drunk' at 90 miles per hour about six sake shots ago.

"Me? I'm fine." Hinata gave her a look and Sakura ended up smiling bashfully. "You are always so intuitive Hinata-chan!"

"That's what friends are here for."

"Ever since you and Naruto got divorced it's been…I don't know…It's making me wonder if I'll ever find someone, you know? I mean, you and Naruto were so great for each other. You guys were like best friends, yin and yang. You just gelled well. So, if you guys can't make it, what hope is there for the rest of us?"

Hinata ended up smiling in spite of the subject matter, though her friend missed the crazed look of pain behind the pale eyes. She in no way saw her relationship with Naruto as perfect at any point in time and found it funny that they were seen as some sort of power couple by others.

"Naruto-kun and I were simply normal people in love." She reached for that sake bottle instinctively and poured for Sakura, forcing her to do the same. They both gulped their drinks in one shot.

"Well, I don't think that's how people saw you two. You guys were what gave us hope. You gave me hope."

"You mean with Sasuke-san?"

Sakura blushed.

"Maybe? Yes. He does not see me in that way, at all, like not even in the least bit. But look at you and Naruto. Naruto didn't see you that way at first and then he gave you a chance. That's all I want – a chance with Sasuke-kun, to know if it really wouldn't have worked."

Hinata didn't know what to say. She felt so sorry for Sakura. Privately, Hinata thought that that ship had sailed for Sakura. The ship had sailed, run onto rocks and capsized, but she would never, not even under the threat of torture admit that to Sakura. She poured Sakura another drink and Sakura returned the favour. They shotted again.

"Well then you shouldn't give up on him." Hinata was quite aware of the hypocrisy in her words. She waited patiently to see if Sakura would call her on it. She knew Hanabi would have, but then again, Hanabi wasn't here and she could hold her liquor a lot better than Sakura.

"It's just that, that…Sasuke-kun is such a jerk! I really need a guy like, like…like Naruto-kun!"

Hinata spilled sake all over the table instead of into Sakura's cup.

"W-w-what?"

"No, no. Don't get me wrong. I just mean, I would like to be with a guy who is just like Naruto-kun. A guy who I know would treat me right. Sasuke-kun has my heart, but what I really need is a guy like Naruto."

Hinata quietly wiped up the spill with a nearby kitchen towel. She poured Sakura another drink and Sakura shakily poured Hinata's. Sakura downed her drink in one shot again, oblivious to the fact that Hinata only let her lips barely touch her own drink. They sat in silence for a little while. Sakura drinking, Hinata wetting her lips. Sakura lay her head on the table.

"Sakura-chan, do you…have feelings for Naruto-kun?" Her voice was so soft that she was a bit surprised that Sakura was able to hear her.

Sakura coughed. She turned her head to look up at Hinata, her sea foam green eyes blotchy.

"Yes. No. Maybe. Yes. I've always loved Sasuke. And I've always had a special place for Naruto. I don't know. I love the both of them, I guess. I don't know."

"I think you should go home Haruno-san. You might be drunk." Both Sakura and Hinata looked up startled to see Hanabi standing at the kitchen door. Never had Hinata been so happy to see her sister.

"I'll take her home."

"No, you should let one of the maids escort her, onee-san." Hanabi came over and whispered.

"I'll do it."

"Why are you always like this? You're too nice."

"I know how she feels – she doesn't know what she wants."

"She wants a good clout to the head." Hanabi whispered back fiercely.

"It's okay, Koi-san. I'll do it. I'm fine. Rest your weight on me, Sakura-chan." Hinata said as she got up. She walked over to the table and pulled Sakura up in one movement…then let her drop.

"Sakura-chan, I told you to lean on me!" Hinata said as she pulled the woman up again. Hanabi snorted.

"Onee-chan you sure are devious,"

"I see you already took off the bandages. Are you ready for me to examine you?" Sakura asked cheerily. Hinata smiled her wan smile. Sakura felt her stomach do flips.

Hinata did go for a stroll later on, but by herself. She'd checked briefly with her kekkei genkai (she was supposed to be resting her eyes) and discerned that Sasuke was not at the farmhouse. Tentatively, she left from the Western gates and took a slow stroll down the stone pathway and past the bamboo patch that would take her onto his patch of home, all the while sipping on the horrible green concoction that her father made her put into a plastic bottle. If anyone asked her why she was heading there she knew that she couldn't explain.

Despite the fact that she was more or less blind for the last month, she noticed that he had not come to visit her. At first she thought that he didn't like crowds. In those first two weeks, her room was packed with her friends and she was so surprised to know that they still cared, even though she had gradually and subtly pulled away from them in the last two years. Shino, Kiba and Akamaru had her laughing until she needed to pee. Ino and Ten Ten had her blushing with their straightforward talk of men. Chouji brought her so much food, which he insisted she eat, that she was positive she put on at least ten pounds.

Naruto didn't come at all. She didn't want to think about why not...Every time she did she felt a force of depression pulling her, pulling her towards him to figure out why. She didn't want to go to him. She purposely focussed her thoughts on other things, on the other force that was pulling her – Sasuke.

Did Sasuke really not like the crowds or the attention? Hinata had heard all of the talk. She could have smelled the chrysanthemum tea that the servants in the household had put out in anticipation of his arrival – not that she instructed them to. Every day that passed and he failed to show, she heard their tittering and whisperings of what was happening to the great relationship. Oh yes, she knew what they said – that he had intentions for her, that he was looking for a play thing, that crazy was attracted to crazy, that she was spiting the Hokage. That talk changed a few weeks after she had returned – he couldn't handle the baggage, she is a killer of men, she is still in love with the Hokage and jealousy brews between the two men. Shame welled in her and she wondered if he heard the same things like she did. If that was the case, no wonder he didn't come around her anymore. He was a private man, she should respect that.

But in a sense she was glad. When she was lying there in that brackish water, her leg broken and her chakra almost depleted, she had heard his voice. She had heard him telling her to concentrate. It was so strange and so surreal. Why was she thinking of him? Something about that made her feel uncertain and guilty. She wanted to tell him thank you, but how could she tell him what for and not have to face his awkward questioning looks of whether all the talk was true? She really regretted putting it in her report too, not that he would ever see it, but one never knew. She didn't want to give him a wrongful impression. And so, she made no moves to seek him out either.

A dull ache resonated within Hinata. It was a familiar if not comfortable feeling of constriction, something that was continuously sucking and squeezing the life out of her. She'd had it for two years now and it seemed attached to her, like a tumour. Every time she thought of the shameful predicament she had put Sasuke into because of the constant gossip that swarmed around her, the constriction increased. And though she felt hurt that he could pick her up and discard her so easily, she understood and accepted it and would never blame him.

When she came upon the house she was a bit shocked. The house looked as if nothing was done on it in weeks, maybe a month or more. It was dark but she could see pretty well since one section of wall had been removed so that new earthen walls could be installed, with the intention of laying over an under-structure of woven bamboo. That wall had not been plastered and simply had the bamboo weave that anyone could clearly see through.

Last time that she had come here, it was the day before she went on her mission. She had helped him in putting back in some of the floor boards that they had taken up to put insulation under them. In some places she could see clearly the old dark brown boards over the green insulation slabs. In other places there was nothing but grid foundation and what was clearly the ground, letting all the cold of outside in. Speaking of which, she looked at the irori.

Above the sunken hearth, she could see the fish shaped lever that she had bought him for the jizai-kagi. The hollow bamboo pole suspended from the ceiling containing a metal chain, with a hook at the end still had hanging from it the tetsubin that she had also gave him. She remembered teasing him not to hit the Hokage upside the head with the heavy, black cast-iron teapot. He had made no promises. She smiled wistfully at the memory. Why had he stopped working on the house, she wondered.

He was a private man, her reminded herself unwillingly. She shouldn't even be here. She couldn't even come up with a reasonable excuse for her presence if he were to suddenly come up on her. She turned to go, hugging herself against the strange coldness in Konoha. She looked back at the irori and wondered if he was still willing to put in the work on this broken down house.

She turned and nearly walked straight into him.

She was so surprised that she screamed and pulled back from him. All the while he had a searing case of déjà vu. At least she didn't try to hit him or hiss at him not to touch her, he thought cynically.

"Sasuke-san! What are you doing here?!"

Immediately after she said it she wanted to take it back. He was giving her that look that he mostly reserved for Naruto – the you-are-lethally-stupid look.

"This is my house."

"Yes, yes, of course. I mean…Never mind what I meant. I'll show myself out." She mumbled as she tried to leave, but he was standing in her way. She looked up at him expectantly. Did she have to fight him to pass? This wasn't the Billy Goats Gruff, she thought.

"Why were you here?"

She'd rather fight him than have to answer that question.

"Well…umm, I-I-I…" Waiting for her to finish her sentence was like slow-cooked insanity, Sasuke thought as he simply stood there, waiting, stewing. "I um, I was interested in seeing what you did with the house so far."

"Well you've seen it now."

Hinata coloured a bit. That was her cue. Sasuke-san was so rude! This was the time-honoured jerk behaviour that made girls irrevocably swoon? No thanks, she wanted none of it. She couldn't believe she devoted so much time to thinking about him.

"Right, well good night." She made to move again, but still he blocked her path.

"I thought you just missed me that much."

"Eh?"

If Sasuke was a laugh out loud kind of person he would have then. The look on her face was priceless…but still it hurt him. She clearly really came here only to see the house. If she wanted to see him, she could have sought him out with those damned eyes of hers and accidentally on purpose meet him. They wouldn't have met by accident like now. She wouldn't have been bending over backwards to set it straight that she was definitely NOT here to see him.

Hinata was literally backing away from him. Out of pure spite he felt like cornering her. He remembered her stupid hare summon.

"M-m-m-m-miss you, Sasuke-san? I- That is- I- W-what?" She also seemed to have lost the ability to form a proper sentence. He might have found it cute if it wasn't so annoying.

"Your summons came to me."

"Inada-san? But –"

"Naruto was there. It's not like you needed the two of us to save you."

"I shouldn't have needed saving in the first place." She muttered, but he heard her. He was still cornering her. She almost tripped into the irori and ended up taking a seat next to it in an attempt to save face. He sat opposite to her.

"Sasuke-san, I um, I am really sorry about what I said to you before I went on that mission. I was rude and it was uncalled for."

"Is that why you came here? Answer me honestly, now."

"I came because…" I wanted to know if you're okay, because I feel like I'm being pulled in two directions, but the other direction is not where I should be, because I just wanted somebody to talk to that wasn't looking at me with pity or regret. Hinata wanted to say all of those things but in the end, she said, "I came because I was simply passing by and I noticed that the renovations were unfinished."

She was lying and he knew it. They both knew it.

There was that conversational lull again. They sort of simply sat there wishing and hoping some third party could intervene and save them from dialogue hell.

"Maybe we should light a fire. It's kind of cold. I know that I saw some flint around here somewhere…"

"I can use a jutsu. Just step back a bit…"

Hinata spotted the flint. It was on the other side of the irori. She leaned forward to get it. Sasuke was already finishing up the seal for his katon Gōkakyū no Jutsu. The fireball was huge.

"Hinata!"

When the flames cleared, he saw her sitting on the other side of the irori, gingerly touching her face to see if she still had eyebrows. Her face was covered in ash from the irori, as the katon didn't so much as light a fire, as it lit up the room brilliantly and dangerously. Naruto had always told him that that katon was useless. Never in his life had he been so glad that that jutsu simply puffed out like a harmless burst of wind. Only sometimes did it actually set things on fire and he was really glad that today wasn't one of those times.

As relieved as he was, when he looked over at her, he couldn't help it. A smirk that was fighting becoming a full-blown smile crept onto his face.

"What? Sasuke-san?" She asked worriedly.

"You look like a cartoon."

She couldn't help it. She ended up smiling too. "Sasuke-san, between this and throwing me out of windows..."

"Twice is a habit." She smiled at his reference.

"You're going to be the death of me. I need to stop seeing you."

"Yeah, but you'd miss me too much. You'd probably start hearing my voice calling out to you."

Hinata looked at him suspiciously as her smile faltered. "I…I don't think so," She answered him cautiously.

"That's not what I heard." She looked up at him quizzically and he took out from his jacket pocket her report. Hinata's face fell, her eyes bulged out.

The shame!

She didn't even tell him goodbye. She simply bolted.

He still had that smile on his face hours later as he lay back in his bed of his crappy, lopsided apartment and it was then that he realized two things: One, that was the first time that he smiled genuinely in over a month and two, he missed her too.

A/N: Right, so we got a bit of insight into Hinata and Sakura's relationship before and we got some awkward SasuHina interaction. More awkward interactions to come and more insight into the p/ast. Review please!