He missed her smile. Of course, she hadn't really smiled much around him, not when they were working, not in the beginning. He used to be able to hear the expression of her face without looking at her, but her voice had changed as well. Everything about her now is so completely different to what he knew, to what he, over time, found comfort in. If only he had held on to those stolen moments longer, encapsulated them in his memory somehow, he could experience it again. To see her face light up, to see her teeth and gums show in all of their glory, shining out like the only bright light for miles in this dull coastal town.
He only came here because this town had one of the lowest crime rates in the country and he wanted to continue working. He thought he might have been able to hide it, just take his pills in silence, never speak of it to anyone, and get on with his job, but life's never that easy. Then he saw another murdered child, and he had to get it right this time, he had to prove to everyone, no not everyone, to his daughter, that he could do this, that he was still that hero she used to think of him as, saving the day and fighting crime, catching the bad guys and protecting the world. He had to try so hard, had to work so hard because he couldn't get this wrong. And then he met Ellie. Emotive, passionate DS Miller who had more at stake than just proving she could solve a case. This was her town, her life, and her child's best friend. He remembered that during the case, he periodically made sure that she was okay because it was her first murder case and the people involved were her friends and she didn't want to let them down. However, he never thought he'd have to make sure she was okay for reasons entirely different. Her husband, the father to her beautiful children, a murderer.
She invited him to join her and her children at the beach one day, and he was a bit hesitant at first; he didn't want people to be staring at them or coming up to her, expressing their condolences when he knew that she probably just wanted to forget for a while. He decided to go, realizing that it would be better than letting her brave it on her own. Not that she couldn't, or that she needed him to protect her or shield her, he knew he would probably get a slap if he even suggested that, but she probably wanted the company. God knows he needed company after Sandbrook fell, but instead he isolated himself. Moved down here still holding on to that baggage, still hoping that his daughter still loved him, living in a world that he created around himself, a world that he was made to suffer in, because that's what he felt he deserved. It was his fault.
When he arrived, she was standing near the water, holding on to Fred's hand as he splashed around. Tom was in front of them, building a sandcastle, so he waved and enthused a "hey, Tom!" to which he could see Tom visibly stiffen and mutter a "hi" back. He was still facing Tom, his back to Fred and Ellie and was about to ask him about his sandcastle when he felt her hand on his back.
"You're unbelievable, you know that? I ask you to come to the beach, we're not even detectives anymore, yet you still come in a suit." He stayed facing Tom for a moment longer because he could hear it again, the expression on her face…she was smiling. He turned around to see it, to see that bright light beaming back at him, and he moved to embrace her before he stopped himself. They had a moment of confusing eye contact until their attention turned to Fred, who was splashing water on his trousers. "See, that's what you get for wearing a suit to the beach." Fred was beaming back up at him just like his mother, and he couldn't help but smile back. "Tom, sweetie, can you look after your brother for a bit?" He turned back to Tom, who gave a silent nod, then back toward Ellie who was turning to walk back to their beach towels. They sat down and she offered him bottled water as she took out one for herself. "You're quiet today, something wrong?"
He wondered if she noticed that he'd been staring at her this whole time, trying to etch these moments into his mind. "No, no, just…thinking, I suppose." She took out a camera and held it out to him. "What's this for?"
"This is our last trip to the beach, well, living here anyway. We found somewhere further inland and are saying our last goodbyes before we move." His heart sunk and he hoped to god that she couldn't see that in his features. "I wanted to capture the moments."
"You only asked me here to be your photographer?!" He tried to create humor out of the situation to distract himself from the feelings that were surfacing, but he ended up sounding a bit angrier than he wanted, and he could see her smile falter, so he continued, hoping to lighten the air. "Alright, but I better be getting paid for this, and you've got to refer me to all your friends and family." He emptied his pockets and placed his things near hers, stood up and offered his hand to her, and she took it, the smile back on her face as they walked over to her boys and their sandcastle.
"Alright, on three. Ready? One, two, three!" Click. The waves gently rolled behind them in the background and the wind swept up her hair creating the perfect picture. Or so he thought.
"Another one, another one." She pleaded, and right when he pressed the shutter for a second time, a huge wave came and crashed down on them, ruining the sandcastle in the process. When the picture appeared for review, he couldn't stop laughing at their faces when the water hit them. "Oh, you think it's funny do you?" He could barely hear her through his bouts of laughter. He noticed that she whispered something in Tom's ear and then got up and was walking toward him, probably saying 'let me see' or something to that extent that he still couldn't make out because he was laughing so hard. She took the camera out of his hands, and the next thing he knew, he was being drenched in water. Gravity took hold and he ended up on the sand, his body still overcome with laughter. He opened his eyes to see Tom and Fred with buckets in their hands, size differences noted of course, and Ellie snickering at him. "Oh we got to get a picture of this." She exclaimed, and then ran off to ask an elderly passerby to snap a pic of them, him slowly sitting up and futilely trying to dust the wet sand off of his clothes. Ellie ran back and put Fred on her lap as she and Tom sort of kneeled around him and the damaged sandcastle.
"Say cheese!" Click. "That's a lovely family you've got there." the woman said to Ellie as she handed the camera back.
"Oh thanks." He heard Ellie say with a smile on her face. "And thank you for taking the picture, we really appreciate it." The woman left and Ellie went back over to the three of them, looking at the picture in the camera, smiling. He loved her smile. "Look." She said fondly as she turned the camera around for the rest of them to see. They all were soaking wet, the sandcastle just a pile of wet sand next to them with Tom and Fred still holding their buckets. There was Ellie, with her signature smile now preserved forever, both in his mind and in the photograph. And there he was in the middle, a stranger to himself, a smile so wide it almost split his face and for the briefest of moments he wondered who the hell that man was and how the hell he got into their picture. "Come on, get up. You need to get out of those wet clothes. Still your fault for wearing a suit to the beach." She held her hand out for him to grab and he took it and brought himself upright. Right now was what mattered. The present, a gift to him, her smile, her company. He didn't think about the future or where they were headed. He held on to this moment, forever engraving it into his mind for the times that were to come.