Dan is in the living room while I'm in the office, editing. Or at least that's what he thinks. But in reality, I just keep rewatching Connor's coming out video. I'm… I don't know. I'm shaking. It's all too real. I want to write Connor, but also I don't want to disturb him.

After watching the video for the 10th time, I decide to write him on Facebook. I don't want to do it on Twitter, because as I said it's all too real. He said the things I'm feeling, he said the thing I'm way too afraid to admit, even to myself.

Hey, Connor, this is going to be awkward and I'm sorry in advance. So I just want to say that I watched your video, and it was wonderful. I watched it like 10 times and I'm not even joking. I'm proud of you, Connor Franta. You are an amazing person who and I know it was scary but this was the right thing to do. I think you have a huge amount of bravery. So yeah, I'm proud of you.

Within 5 minutes, there's a reply. Hi, I can't always follow who it is I'm talking to, so please can you clarify this one for me?

Oh, sorry. I'm Phil Lester.

Hey, sorry man. Thank you. Yeah, I still can't believe I did it.

Are you okay though? I mean you probably get a lot of negativity and I know you're trying your best to ignore them but eventually you start focusing on those.

Yes, I'm great actually. I got a lot of great messages on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr. I can't believe all the support I got. My phone keeps ringing and ringing, and, while I'm grateful, I'm getting a bit annoyed with the ringtonec, so I put it on silence. I know this is a bit rude, but I had to. I read every message I get, but can't deal with the phone calls right now.

I understand. So I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you.

Thank you. It really means a lot. How's everything in London?

It's… Yeah, it's great. I stop writing for a second. I want to stop lying. To myself, to Connor. Especially to Connor. I know I shouldn't be doing this, I'm really sorry, but… I have to stop lying. Please stop me now, because this is totally about you and I know this, but… I'm so sorry.

Are you alright?

I don't know. What you said… I've been going through those things as well. Except I can't admit it. I'm scared and I know that you know this. That's why I've been rewatching your video. Because you said it so that I didn't have to. You said it and everything is true. I just want you to know that your video changed not only your life, but mine as well. Thank you.

I'm not really following you, but… Wait. Are you saying that…?

Yes. I was as scared to admit as you were. But you did it. In a way for me as well. I won't be coming out soon, because this is about you now, but… as I said I just want to let you know that you're a true inspiration for all of us.

Wow, thanks. I'd have never guessed my video was going to have this much of an impact on other's life as well.

Well, it did, and you don't have to be scared anymore. It was really brave.

Thanks. I'm going to London next year, maybe wanna film a video together? If you want to and if you're ready maybe it can involve that thing as well.

Yes, that sounds lovely. Okay, sorry, I don't want to be rude, but I have to do something now.

Believe it or not, I've heard the rude part before… :P Yeah, do your thing. And thanks again for the support. I'm really grateful.

Of course. See you, Connor.

Bye!

Closing the tab, I stand up, stretching a bit. I really need to do it. Almost running, I walk towards the living room, meeting Dan in the corridor. He looks at me, I look at him and I just know. I just know that I've been in love with the wonderful person since 2009. He's my everything.

I just want to hug him, not caring about the consequences. He doesn't push me away, quite the opposite, he hugs me tighter. Then he says something, with his face pressed against my shoulder. 'I'm in love with you.'

'And I'm in love with you.' I smile, relieved. I can feel Dan smiling too.

Thank you, Connor. Thank you.