Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Wolf.
WARNING - Triggers: Self-harm.
It wasn't easy for him. He'd try and forget about him but he simply couldn't. He often regretted his decision. In fact, he regretted a lot of things. This was just another thing to put on the list. He heard a familiar voice, continuously saying, "You're worthless." You're worthless, it kept echoing. He couldn't take it anymore. This long look in the mirror was taking longer than usual, and he decided to take action. He opened his bathroom drawer and looked for something. Something sharp. You're worthless, it said. Again and again. He couldn't find it. He opened 2 more drawers, trying to dig it out. Still couldn't find it. Worthless, it shouted… emphasizing the most it can out of the word 'worthless'. He opened the 4th drawer and there it was. Looking at him. He pulled the razor out of the cartridge, stared at it, and then held it to his wrist. He looked at his wrist for a while and moved his hand horizontally as he felt his skin begin to sting.
"Stiles," another familiar voice exclaimed as it was opening the locked bathroom, "what are you doing?"
"Derek," Stiles began to fall back but caught himself, "stop picking locks." Now, the word 'Derek' began to resonate in his head.
"Stiles, oh my God," Derek gestured to his arm, "what did you do?!"
"You, uh, you lef—" Derek echoed again and again. That's when he woke up. Realizing he'd continuously been saying Derek, he stopped. It'd been 2 weeks. Derek hadn't made the slightest attempt to talk to Stiles. Or even see him. Stiles was suddenly angry. He goes to the bathroom, but makes sure his dad doesn't know first. He automatically knows where it is in the first drawer that he looks through. "You're worthless," he said to himself as he looked at it." You thought Derek wants to waste his time with you, he thought, you're pathetic. That last part actually came out of his mouth. "You're worthless," he repeated. But, this was real life now. It wasn't a dream. He moved his hand closer to his arm. He began to cut through and felt an immediate burn. He groaned. He looked at his door for a few minutes, waiting for someone to break through. After a while when no one came, he sliced again. Another sting which he groaned at. He looked to the door again. He waited for Derek, not just anyone. Derek. He began to cut again and again. He wasn't even looking at the door anymore. He just wanted to feel something. Multiple stings did the trick.
It was like he knew what he was doing, 8 years later than the last time he'd done it; his mother's death. But he grew confident too soon, and cut in too deep. He leaned over the sink and began to wish that Derek would come, but he knew that he wouldn't. He fell to his knees and he'd never felt so alone before. His hand began to shake as he tried to cut again, but he immediately let it go and started to whimper. He was sitting there, with about 6 cuts on his arm. He started to look for gauze when some blood got on his shirt. He decided to put his arm under water so all the blood can get cleaned up. He knew it would hurt, but it was too late, now. The damage has been done. As he clenched his jaw at all the stings, when it was done, he put the gauze over it in an effort to dry it and protect the blood from spreading everywhere. Finally, after he was done getting cleaned up, he washed his face after the rough morning, and brushed his teeth, even though he knew he wasn't going to eat anything. He put on a long-sleeve shirt, making sure no one was able to see the gauze, grabbed his car keys, and headed to school.
- hours later -
When the school bell rang, everyone tried to get to their cars early so the buses don't hold them up. Stiles was just in class, packing up slowly, not caring about any of the others, since they clearly didn't care about him. No one's asked him how he'd been all day. He just wanted someone to care, if even for a second.
He was surprised that not even Malia wanted to talk to him. Then again, he was the one that broke up with her for— He wasn't going to think of him. Not anymore. He did try to get Malia back, but she didn't want to be a part of something she didn't understand. And could you blame her? A girl who became a coyote for 8 years can miss a whole lot while growing up. Same-sex relationships were hard for her to understand. So, she didn't want to be involved, even though she did as much as she could to support Stiles, at least, for the first few days. Now, she isn't even talking to him. Scott was always busy with Kira. Lydia was always with Isaac and Allison. And Liam was with his freshmen buddies, not giving a care in the world.
But, Derek, he imagined, was paying him the least attention. He was texting Scott one day last week to ask him if Derek had approached him or texted him. Of course, all that he wanted to know was that if Derek asked Scott about him. Scott would say no, and Stiles would want to ask again every day. Every hour. Every minute. Just something to hang on to. But Derek wouldn't text Scott, and he wouldn't approach him about Stiles. Or at least, that's what Stiles thought.
The truth was that the next day after that incident 2 weeks ago, Derek had, on occasion, tried talking to Scott after realizing that Stiles wasn't getting his messages. He'd blocked his number, of course. Derek was asking if he could see Stiles. Scott told him no, and that's when the wolf got angry.
"What do you mean 'no'?"
"I mean no. N-O. He told me he didn't want you anywhere near him."
"He said that..?"
"Yeah. Whatever you did, you fucked up. And you lied to me about it."
"I just want to talk to him, Scott. Please."
"No."
"Okay, I realize that since he's your best friend, you need to protect him, but I just need—"
"No."
"Scott."
"No."
"This doesn't even concern you, damnit!" Derek yelled before cooling down. "You don't even understand, Scott. I need to talk to him."
"About what?"
"It's not any of your business."
"Then you can't talk to him."
"I can't just tell you…"
"Then you can't talk to him," he repeated.
"Fuck you, Scott McCall," Derek said as he left.
Scott sighed to himself, wishing he could help, and understand what this was about. But, Stiles was insistent on not telling him anything. Scott wanted to ask Derek, but Derek wouldn't budge, either.
Later that day, Scott tried to tell Stiles about Derek coming to him and asking if he could see him, but he knew that Stiles asked him to not let Derek anywhere near him, so he kept his mouth shut. He didn't want to make him feel any worse than he already had been feeling.
Back to the present, Derek had been trying to avoid Scott at all costs and try to see Stiles and apologize for what he'd done. But the alpha was adamant on guarding Stiles. Actually, Stiles was adamant on not seeing Derek. The alpha was just there to help his best friend through a rough time. Deep down, Stiles wanted to see Derek. More than anything. He just wanted to see him fight for it. He wanted him to do more than apologize. I'm sorry wasn't going to cut it. Derek knew that, too. He wanted to make it up to him so badly. But it was already too late. Scott was everywhere Stiles went… at least for the first week, because now that Derek stopped trying, Scott had been going out more with permission from Stiles. Of course, Stiles knew that Derek wouldn't try to come see him, especially if he hadn't been coming for the past week, so he let Scott have fun while he'd stay home. He could always sleep, or something.
Tomorrow is Saturday, and Scott wanted to know if Stiles wanted to go bowling with the rest of the gang.
"Been there, done that," was his response, which, when he thought about it, seemed super depressing. Scott nodded with a frown on his face and tried to be understanding of his situation, except for the fact that he didn't understand it! But, he didn't question it, and granted his best friend his wish.
- the next day -
Today, Stiles woke up without a single mention of Derek in his dreams. Probably the first time in the last 2 weeks. He got up and went to the kitchen and saw a note from his dad saying that he had to leave early, yet again, today for another person that been impaled with an extended tree branch. Stiles began to question his safety, but gave it no attention when he realized that he was home alone, with his own head being the only danger to himself.
As he removed the gauze from his arm, he sees that his cuts have barely healed from yesterday. At least they've stopped bleeding. He puts his arm under cold water and his arm stings again and again. He puts fresh gauze over it and wears a long sleeve shirt, just in case his dad comes home early. He didn't want him to know that he'd been cutting again.
Derek was awake early. He was staring up at his ceiling, wondering what he could do to make it up to Stiles. He received a text from Lydia that said "Come bowl with us."
"Who's 'us'?"
"Me, Kira, Allison, Isaac, Malia, Liam, and Scott."
Derek was wondering if she forgot Stiles, but when he saw Scott's name, he didn't want to ask. He knew this was his chance. And it might be his last. "Okay, I'll be there soon."
- an hour passes –
"How long did Derek say he was going to be?" Scott asked.
"He didn't say," Lydia responded, "he just said he'll be here soon."
"Well, the game's almost done," Scott pointed to the screen, "let me text him."
"Okay," the redhead gave him her phone.
Scott checked her messages, and seeing as she had none from Derek, he decided to text him. But, her text history was right in front of him and she sees that she mentioned that he was there without Stiles.
"I gotta go," Scott hurried, trying to get his bowling shoes off.
"No no no no no, go where?" Lydia asked.
"I just have to do something."
"Scott?" Kira asked, wondering why the alpha was in such a hurry.
"I'll be back in a second I promise," Scott kissed her on the cheek and ran to give the bowling clerk his shoes, then exited the building. Kira pouted.
"Don't worry," Lydia patted her shoulder, "he'll be back. He can take care of himself."
Scott immediately gets on his bike and goes to Stiles' house. Once he arrives, he sees that Stiles' car is still there. He finds himself confused when he sees that Derek's car isn't anywhere near Stiles' driveway. He sighs in relief, and he knocks on the door. Knowing that Stiles is probably getting some sleep to help his deprivation, he picks the lock with his claws and goes in to check on him. He hopes for a response, asking "Stiles?" He lightly knocks on his closed bedroom door and repeats, "Stiles?"
Stiles was nowhere to be found. And neither was Derek. Uh oh, Scott thinks to himself. This is very, very bad.
Scott gets on his bike and tries to sniff out Derek. Another True Alpha benefit was that he could compartmentalize odors, and since he's seen Derek so much, his scent was easier to pick up. He smelled a forest, so he went to the nearest woods he can find. On his bike, he saw a black Camaro, and thought to himself, Derek, what the fuck are you doing? He parked his bike illegally next to Derek's car, and started to look for them. After he couldn't find them anywhere, he deserted to shouting "Stiles!", even though he knew that this new danger lurking in Beacon Hills could hear him. Stiles is more important. Fuck, he thought. What if they got to him? Shit. He realized that if Derek couldn't stop them, then this was a really dangerous creature, unless the two were trying to trick him. No, he thought, why would they trick me? Stiles didn't even want to see Derek. What if they got to both of them? That last thought continued to ring in his head until he just couldn't take it anymore.
"Derek! Stiles!" "Stiles!" "Derek!" Scott yelled, again and again while running, but all he was doing was wasting his voice and his breath. There was absolutely no response. From either of them. They were gone.
A/N: Lots of vital points in this chapter. Hope you caught on to them. Leave your thoughts in the reviews? Pretty please? :)