Chapter Nineteen Part Two

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

A/N: So here's Part Two. I've edited this so much… I sure hope that you like it. It is really long, hence why I had to split the chapter.

Her ancient housecat crawled onto her back. Hinata knew it was the cat the instant she felt the soft padded paws tiptoeing on her back and she kept still, fearing that if she moved suddenly the cat would be spooked and she didn't want to do that. Instead, she cautiously got up in slow motion and the cat lazily slid off of her and looked at her with pitiful eyes. She scratched behind its ears and happily distracted herself with that small pleasure for a while. She had fallen asleep in that same position when she'd collapsed from…well, she could only assume it was an emotional overload of some sort.

The room was dark and the house was quiet. It was almost three o'clock in the morning. The party would have been over by now. She could barely believe that that was the time. She felt as if she'd just had that talk with Naruto.

For a while Hinata simply sat there wishing that she didn't have to deal with the things that were going on in her life right now. She was stalling, which made her remember those times when her mother had to carry her to the health centre for vaccinations. Hinata hated it and she was scared and she would try to hide (ignoring the futility of trying to hide in the Hyuuga household). Her mother would make quite a show of pretending to not find her, but when she did she would promise that if Hinata behaved well, there would be sweets afterwards. A little old lady across the road sold sweets like shaved ice with azuki bean topping, dango and mochi ice cream. But what Hinata really liked was the cinnamon rolls. It made her forget the pain. It made everything better as she walked back home with her mother. Cinnamon rolls were the first thing she ever learned to make. They hold a special place in her heart. If only everything could be solved by eating cinnamon rolls. She tried to think back to how she felt after her mother bought her sweet treats, tried to recreate that same feeling that everything would work itself out if she simply behaved nice and made the right choice, but she couldn't quite remember when there was a time so simple. What was the right choice?

She got up, changed her clothes and went to train herself until she maybe passed out from fatigue or blood loss.

The kimono was still spread gloriously across the rack. It was hung in front of the window where a brilliant moonlight was filtering through the rice paper windows. The room was otherwise bathed in shadows; only his smoky outline could be seen. There was no lamp on, but he could smell the kerosene in the air from when the lamp was lit earlier. His mind instantly sprung to New Year's Day when they played hide and seek in this old house. She was hiding in the rafters away from him and he'd pulled her down, his hand gripping her by the ankle. She was barefoot, he remembered clearly. Her ankle was slender and the skin smooth and pale. All then he had wanted to run his hands up from her ankles and go up and up and up.

Now, Sasuke stared at the kimono as he stood motionless in the room. He had seen her leaving the compound and he tracked her until she reached the training fields. From a distance he had watched her practice her taijutsu for a while. She was looking strong, capable and graceful. She was suffering through some sort of psychological turmoil and was taking it out on her body – her hands and legs slapping and kicking at training stumps, trees, the ground – anything that would resist her stilted anger. She jumped and twisted and flipped and rolled. He'd never seen her so upset and he could tell that just by looking at the way her body moved that Naruto was the only person who would truly know that all this demonstration of such graceful movement was not even her best sport – that her best had once been demonstrated privately between the two of them. And now he yearned to be that person in her life now.

Now as Sasuke stood looking at the kimono he wished that he hadn't gone to spy on her. She was the only person who lighted up his emotions and imagination so. He touched the light and smooth fabric and wondered how she felt when she touched it. She had no idea of the hold that she had on him. He'd never felt so possessed by someone! He fisted the fabric in his hand and pulled it down roughly from the poles which it hung and they clattered noisily. He knew that they must have spotted by him now – a lone, brooding, menace standing in the shadows. He didn't care; his mind was on only her. She had a control over him and she had no idea. He thought that he'd like to keep it that way. He left the room with the kimono and its obi now in his possession.

The ANBU messenger came to the fields to find her. It was almost five o'clock in the morning. It was still dark, but the hint of light blue could be seen on the eastern horizon, an almost metallic glint to it. The white mask glowed ominously as the messenger told her that she was needed at the Hokage office immediately. She took off in a sprint toward the centre of the Village, taking to the rooftops as soon as she could. She jumped down from the nearby building and in order not to damage her ankles from the jump, she rolled on her the balls of her feet and continued her momentum. She nearly collided, however, into the Tower doors when someone stepped out of them. It was Sakura.

They stared at each other and said nothing. Hinata opened her mouth to say something when Sasuke came upon them. They stood there for a second longer, Hinata avoiding his gaze and Sakura looking at Sasuke looking at Hinata with a fierce, hungry gaze. Eventually she too turned her head away. Something was between them, Sakura observed. It was something unsettled and they looked uncomfortable in each other's presence, but yet yearning for it.

It was awkward bordering on torture for Hinata and she summed up courage to excuse herself first.

"Excuse me," She mumbled and went around Sakura to open the glass doors.

Sakura looked up at Sasuke, but his expression was steely before he too went inside. Not once did he look in her direction. She stamped down that pain in her heart and rearranged her features into something more neutral. Hanabi's words earlier that night stayed with her. No more did she want to be that person who let the world know just how much she suffered for Sasuke. Hanabi was right. It wasn't romantic when the other person didn't care. She stepped off in the direction of her parent's house. She had to be there when her baby boys woke up.

Hinata and Sasuke entered the office and Naruto was standing with his back to them as he stared out through the enormous glass windows. The sun was just starting to peek over Konoha. He was leaning against the windows, his eyes focused on the reflection of the street below from the windows of the building opposite the Tower. No doubt he probably saw the collision that occurred just outside the ground floor doors. Shikamaru, Kurenai, Kiba and Shino were already there.

Naruto turned to address them once they all arrived.

"Right, so Team Kurenai, under Sasuke's orders you've been working in the Registry lately to look into failed missions coming out of Mori no Kuni ever since we discovered a mole. We lost the mole, but we found him – he's dead, supposedly at the hands of Mori no Kuni."

"Supposedly?" Kiba asked.

"Shino came upon a most interesting case. When looking over the details we realized something more. The mission failure was hiding the fact that the information we've been getting on Mori no Kuni have been really provided by others like Kumo, Kiri, Iwa and a whole lot of others. But Kumo and Kiri are actually the forerunners. A lot of blame has been put on Mori no Kuni on the expense that we not focus on the others. It looks like Kumo or Kiri outsourced from Mori no Kuni, giving them plausible deniability. But that information may be insecure. Listen, they're our number-one allies in the region, but at the same time they might be funding the opium trade in Mori no Kuni, or they're helping to hide talented missing Konoha nin like Lee, and we don't know necessarily who we can trust at the highest levels of the Kumo and Kiri. There are people within Kumo and Kiri and the Lands of Lightning and Water that are 100 percent loyal to their country and to having a strong relationship with Konoha and the Land of Fire. But there are others that, who knows? And so, that's the real problem that we are dealing with. We need Kumo and Kiri, but at the same time, we don't know who is an honest broker on the other side.

"This will be a multi-faceted mission. We still have to iron out some details but based on what we've found out and including Hinata's intelligence from the reconnaissance mission she went on last year, I'd say that if we don't handle things delicately…we can end up with another war."

"What are you proposing?" Kurenai asked.

"So far we're looking at an interception and deception mission." Shikamaru answered. "We need Team Kurenai to track and intercept a high ranking Land of Lightning official on his way to Mori no Kuni. Interception is key here; recruitment of him would be nice, but not entirely necessary." It remained unspoken that their target could remain dead or alive at the end of the mission. "What we really want is to stir the pot. We want information from him and we want a reaction from Kumo and Kiri. We want them to overreact and tip off who's actually in charge of what's going on behind Mori no Kuni."

"And what if things go south? What's the plan after that?" Kiba asked.

"So far, you're on a need to know basis." Naruto answered and Kiba scowled.

"Hinata you've been working with Sasuke and he did clear you for a field mission some weeks ago." Hinata couldn't hide her surprise.

"Weeks ago?" She questioned.

Shikamaru answered with a stiff nod. A warm feeling of gratitude and sentiment radiated from her to Sasuke. She remembered when he doubted her abilities. Now to have him recommend her as being fit to go on active duty... Well, with a lot of trembling effort she kept the corners of her mouth from turning up into a smile.

Naruto pretended not to notice her reaction.

"This is really Hinata's mission. She'll be instrumental in it. It's not the same mission that we intended for you – that's been scrapped – but things are working in your favour it seems." Shikamaru replied and Hinata looked surprised. Sasuke noted that Naruto didn't seem too pleased about it judging by the way his lips pursed briefly and his eyebrows dipped. Sasuke wasn't pleased about it either, but he tried to hide it. Hinata's role in this new mission was news to him. "We've profiled the target and you're his type, Hinata."

Hinata gave Shikamaru two raised eyebrows of questioning. Naruto's frown deepened.

"Kurenai would probably help you out with that." Shikamaru said quickly and cleared his throat. He was feeling an intense wave of dislike and threat coming his way from Sasuke and surprisingly, Naruto. It ebbed a bit when he gave the men a sharp look.

"You don't have to go far with it. Just basic stuff. Remember, the objective is to throw Kumo and Kiri into a panic. We have to make it look like this guy is selling intelligence to us."

Hinata nodded, not entirely confident. She would have to lean on Kurenai's direction. Contrary to her current situation, she was not a seducer of men.

The debriefing continued as they ironed out details. The sun came up gloriously. It was going to be a stifling hot day.

Sweat slid down Hinata's spine as she made her way from the debriefing. It was only seven o'clock and the heat was a bit stifling. She meandered and took the long way back, going around the Hyuuga compound to come to the Northern Gates – the main entrance for the Branch family. This part of the compound had a crisscross of narrow pathways nestled in between lush gardens and stunning architecture. It was instantly cooler here as the area was shaded by huge, old irises, sakura trees, plum blossoms and pine trees and the murmuring of moody streams and canals that intersected this part of the estate. Hinata passed by quietly, saying good morning or just giving a hurried half-bow to the residents. She turned left at an old poplar and followed the path. Here, there were no houses and the path narrowed further. This section of the estate was always quiet, maybe even eerily so, but Hinata loved the sense of solitude and otherworldliness that exuded from the place. Everything was green, an almost unnatural green too as the moss was shiny and brightly emerald in colour. A tranquilly glowing pond even reflected the radiant absinthe colour of the trees. There was a passing grey cloud overhead that seemed to hang over the area always with the result that the gardens always looked frozen in that moment of tranquillity right before a storm came. Hinata walked between all the other grave markers and went straight to Neji's headstone.

She sat at the foot of it, silent for a long while. Even though she visited Neji's grave almost every week she never spoke to him out loud. She said what she had to say in her mind, somehow lacking the courage to tell him of her life and her feelings out loud. She wondered often times if she had disappointed him. But today, she had made up her mind.

Hinata began talking of her life post war, post his death. She told him of how she helped in rebuilding the Village and how Clan politics was so tiring, but she did it anyway. She spoke of how Naruto had fallen in love with her and of their wedding and the makeshift family she had with Sakura, Kakashi, Kurenai, Konohamaru, Ino, everybody really. She told him of how her son looked so much like him and how when she lost him she felt as if she was grieving for not just her son, but for Neji all over again. She told of the last few years and of the depths of darkness where she'd been residing. She told him of how unexpectedly she was now in a dilemma:

"And you'd never believe me, but I sort of have to choose between Naruto and Sasuke Uchiha. I think I already know how I feel, but I'm just so scared." She whispered.

"What are you afraid of?"

Hinata flew up from the marker, Byakugan flaring. Hanabi stepped out from behind one of the markers, a mischievous smirk on her face.

"Koi-san! You scared me half to death! My spirit nearly left my body."

Hanabi giggled. "Did you really think it was Neji that answered you?" Hinata blushed. "His voice was deeper. I'm sure that you haven't forgotten it."

"I remember everything."

Hanabi didn't bother to remark on the expression of loss on her sister's face. She was never as close to Neji as Hinata was, but she knew that their relationship was deep and complicated by many layers of feelings. She supposed that the reason Hinata chose to speak to Neji about her current dilemma was because her relationship with Sasuke mirrored her relationship with Neji in some ways. It was the complicated currents of feelings that were like an old maze. That's how Hanabi would describe her sister's relationship with the Uchiha.

Hanabi took up a seat at the foot of the headstone. Opposite it was her mother's headstone, her father's name was inked in red right next to her mother's name. She didn't like that tradition – it always felt to her that the supposed love of a person's life was patiently calling out for that person to come lie next to them in death.

Hinata came and sat next to her. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to apologize."

"For last night?"

"Mmmmmhmmmm."

Hinata waited for the apology, but none was forthcoming it seemed. She sighed. Her anger was never one for pyrotechnics and Hanabi seemed to know that.

"Did I put you in a predicament?"

"Nothing happened. We talked."

"Ohh."

"Why does this concern you so much?"

"I don't want to have to bear that burden of being the one to produce an heir. It'll take away from so many things that I want to do."

To hear her sister say something like that put Hinata on alert. This was not like Hanabi. She would do anything for her Clan and if it meant bearing an heir, she would do it. Whatever anger she had at her sister evaporated and was replaced with quiet concern.

"Koi-san, why are you lying to me?"

Hanabi turned to look at her sister.

"Don't lie to me, please."

"A couple of years ago, maybe it was three," She tried to adopt an air of insouciance as she turned to look at the headstone again, but Hinata saw through it. "I was severely injured on a mission. Do you remember?"

Guilty, Hinata had trouble recalling exactly what her sister was referring to. The narcissistic selfishness of grief turned so many people inward. She should have been there for her sister.

"It doesn't matter." Hanabi said peevishly.

"No, no. I'm sorry. It was a –" She broke off, not wanting to use her grief as an excuse. Hanabi waved it off.

"Sakura passed by last night. She was looking for…You know what, I don't know what she was looking for. I don't even think she knows what she was looking for."

"What did you tell her? Did you tell her that I was with Naruto-kun?"

"No. She seemed to have already known that. I spoke to her but, I don't know if I got through to her. Sometimes people only change when something horrible happens to them."

"Koi-san! Don't wish anything on Sakura-chan!"

"I'm not. It's a fact. Look at us. We only got closer after tragedy: after Neji died, after everything happened with you, after everything happened with me. Those are the times that people change."

"Why do you hate Sakura-san so much? Is it because of what happened between her and me?"

"It's not the only reason. I know that you love him still."

"You know that I still love Naruto-kun?"

"Do you not? I've noticed that you can say his name easily now."

Hinata blushed a bit. "I do, but…"

"There's a ghost between you."

"Hmm."

"How do you feel about Sasuke? Does he love you like how Naruto loves you? You were so happy with Naruto. Why can't you try to be that way with him now?"

Hinata smiled a watery smile as she thought about her ex-husband. "Naruto was perfect in every way for me. Our love was like something out of a romance novel. But then things changed when after the tragedy we started to see faults in each other. Funnily, these faults are the same things that I loved, but they've morphed into something different for us. I never learned to love a Naruto like that. Both of us were a nice pair of idiots who were probably delusional over the idea of what love is. We were more than likely half in love with each other and half in love with the idea of being in love.

"It's the opposite with Sasuke-san, back to front really. I've always known his faults, since before I even knew him. When I got to know him, it was with those bad traits I had in mind and he made no bones about hiding them from me. And when he got to know me, grief had changed me. I'm still the same, yet I'm not. I've really shown him some sides of me that I'm not proud of. He, he pulled out the worst in me from the beginning. We got to know the good side, the great side of each other only afterwards. It's so much easier now.

"But with Naruto, I don't know if I could go back. I'm scared that if I do, this ghost between us will only highlight all of our worst qualities within each other. Yet, I still love him. I know I do. But I don't want to further ruin what we've had anymore. And I don't want to ruin Sasuke-san's life like how I ruined Naruto-kun's. I've done so much damage already."

Hanabi looked at her sister who had a round face and large, caring eyes. It was impossible not to look at her and feel guilt tied up with pity. To Hanabi, Hinata was the unredeemed, that tenderness in her marking her for a life of disappointments. Surprisingly her sister seemed to have gotten used to it. That's why she felt so sorry for her during the last few years. Nobody should be used to unhappiness. Before she had been so happy, so that when the unhappiness came it drained out of her so quickly and Hinata was unprepared for it. After that experience though, Hanabi assumed that her sister was cautious of joy – giving it wary a side eye. But she wanted so badly for her sister to be happy!

Hanabi looked disappointed with her answer and Hinata looked at her sister shrewdly. "Why don't you want Sasuke-san to be with me?"

"His blood is stronger. You'll produce no heirs for the Hyuuga."

"But you're still here."

"That is a fact, yes. I am still here, but what can I do?"

Hinata's eyebrows crumpled in confusion.

"After that mission it seems as if I am unable to have children." She said calmly and Hinata's eyes bulged as she stared at her sister, yet looking through and through as she recalled vaguely the depression that her sister was in during those years, the way they clung to each other and grew closer.

"I tell people that I don't want any, and it's true. Personally, I'm not particularly disappointed by it. But Father and the Clan… Every time I try to tell him exactly what happened, my voice gets thin and I end up speaking about other things. I don't like to disappoint him. I cannot disappoint him."

Hinata remembered when the fear of disappointing her father had seemed like the worst thing in the world, but she supposed that for Hanabi it was different. The tragedy lay in Hanabi never disappointing her father (unlike Hinata who seemed to have made it into an art) and as such her entire life was focussed on pleasing this one person. After a while the mind warps that person into someone who could never be pleased and the fear of disappointing coupled with the constant quest to please could tear down even the greatest man.

Hanabi was not the sort to believe in changing the Clan. She was traditional, she was a true Hyuuga. She was in quite a position. That fear of disappointment was etched on her sister's face. She was terrified of it. Under the carefully calibrated performance, her sister was actually a bundle of exposed nerves, just like Hinata. She looked as if she were asking for a miracle.

"I'm not asking you for anything," She clarified when she noticed that Hinata looked worried. "I tried to force things to go my way, but after what you just said…I'm going to have to deal with the fall out somehow. I just want you to be happy. I really do. I'm sorry that I was acting so selfish. I just want you to be happy, no matter whom you choose."

Hinata smiled. Her sister's entire focus was on their father and the Hyuuga Clan and yet she claims to be selfish.

"I haven't made up my mind as yet." Hinata said quietly.

"So you say, but it's the hope that was killing me. But it doesn't matter what you say now. I think that you've made up your mind."

"Oh?"

"It sounds that way to me."

She got up to leave and Hinata gave her a wan smile. "By the way, Sasuke broke into the house today."

"What!"

"Yes, Father saw him. He took that kimono that he gave to you. Why do you think he did that?"

Hinata felt her stomach plummet. While she was deliberating, did Sasuke already make his choice? Was it over before it begun? Why did he take back that kimono? Is it that he was giving up on her before she broke his heart?

She supposed that she deserved it. Her actions in the last few hours, days, their entire courtship was not particularly encouraging. She'd done it again, didn't she? She sabotaged a good thing all over again. She supposed that she should feel liberated – he had made her choice for her! But all she felt was a hollowness, which ironically, gave her an answer of what she wanted.

The kimono was lying on the bed in one of the rooms on the second floor of the farmhouse. Since when did he get a bed up here, Hinata thought, but was distracted by another tiny voice in the back of her mind – why are you here?

She couldn't answer it. She really couldn't. She simply knew that she had to get back this kimono. All she knew was that in her mind and heart swirled the emotions concerned with chances missed and opportunities squandered.

She had gone straight home and bathed and she had sat for the longest time in the tub simply thinking. She tried to focus on other things, but the pull was there. Everything else was a yawning, gaping emptiness, but the pull was there; the fear to not lose him, to try one more time and the compulsion to do something about it. But do what exactly?

If she were to tell him to come to her, would he? She knew what he wanted. But she wasn't the one in doubt here, not anymore.

The silk of the kimono was smooth and ready to slide off the bed at the merest touch. She was drawn to it. She wanted to feel it against her skin. She had never in her life worn such an ornate kimono without an underrobe – always knowing that it was forbidden. The kimono could be soiled by her sweat. She admired the subdued ombré colours that had a cool mix of blue melting into deep purple. The skeletal tree with its petals blowing in the wind mixed together with the sheer fluidity of the fabric had Hinata imagining, no feeling herself present in wherever that particular landscape existed.

Daringly, but with trembling fingers, she took off her oversized, green jacket. She took up the cloth between her hands and felt it, rubbing the material gently between her thumb and forefinger. She let it fall and it fell languorously like oil from her hands. She remembered the night of her birthday when Sasuke held her hair in his hands and then slowly let it go. What could be affecting her so? Was it a bout of delirium? She didn't know. It was the same kind of daring that she remembered when she jumped in front of Pein. It was all or nothing then. She remembered how he looked at her when he had her hair in his hands, how he looks at her in that way that he does, how he'd look at her whenever she wore this kimono… In quick movements she took off her striped shirt, her mesh top, her bra, her pants and panties, not enough time to change her mind. Everything was happening so quickly that she had no time to think, yet at no point in time did he leave her mind. She put on the kimono and tied the obi.

The silk against her skin felt glorious! There was something sinfully delicious about getting one last wear out this kimono before he took it back…before he dumped her she realized. She looked forlornly at her clothes scattered on the bed. An intense feeling of regret consumed her. Her relationship with him was so short-lived and her mind replayed all the memories of the past year and invented fantasies of all the things that could have been.

She flashed her Kekkei Genkai again briefly and noted with a mixture of relief and regret that he was still in his office with Shikamaru and he didn't look like he was going to leave any time soon.

She walked downstairs and sat at the irori. She knew that she had to leave soon, but she just had to take one last look about the place. She had done it when she moved out of the house she had shared with Naruto and she was doing it now. She sat there for hours and watched as the lighting in the house changed and the atmosphere cooled. Every now and then she kept checking to make sure that he was still at the office. Rain was coming. It would explain the heat. That was good, she supposed. This place needed to be cooled down.

It was after dark when Hinata woke because of a clap of thunder. The fire had smouldered to its ashes and the room was now lit in a delicate, caliginous lustre. There was no way to tell the exact time without looking outside or getting up and going to the windows, but even so the impending storm clouds covered the stars. She lay still, stretched out on the tatami mats and luxuriated in the feel of the cool silk against her skin which was a bit warm. She moved her foot and felt the material slide against her thighs and slip across her shin. Suddenly she stopped. In those two seconds that it took her to be fully awake she felt a presence. Her body tightened and she remained still like a plucked guitar string about to be released. More than likely it was Sasuke, since she doubted that anyone would be nuts enough (beside herself) to break into Sasuke Uchiha's house, but she was still a ninja and she had to be careful at all times. Her hair was covering her face and though she was reluctant to use her Byakugan, she did just that. In an instant she could see that the presence was indeed Sasuke. He was sitting right next to her at her foot and his katana was resting comfortably across his lap, just in reach for him to defend or attack…if necessary.

"Are you finished spying?"

The veins on the side of her head receded under her skin and she slowly sat up. What now, she wondered. How awkward! She was feeling so daring and bold before when he wasn't actually within ten miles of her, before when she had the courage to put on the kimono with nothing underneath, but now? The sheer embarrassment! What was she thinking?!

She wanted to be proper and sit in a seiza position, but the atmosphere was a bit chilly and she felt exposed. Instead, she ensured that the fabric was properly tucked in at the sides when she drew her legs up and she leaned forward and put her arms on her knees. She couldn't look at him. She instead focussed on the fire coming to an end.

Sasuke looked at her and noted with deep concern that he found her incredibly attractive. Noting that she was attractive was nothing new (in recent months at least, since before he remembered once distinctly comparing her to a vagrant and a sack of potatoes), but it was the intensity of the attraction that was frightening him. He took a deep breath and then passed a hand through his unruly hair. So he'd taken back the kimono as a way to get her here and the plan worked. Now what? He had no idea. He wasn't even sure why he took back the kimono, only knowing that he was angry that she hadn't come to him and he wanted her to. But to come home and see her dressed in the kimono! Well, he was at first quietly elated, but now she looked ashamed and refused to meet his eyes and he wondered again where it was that he stood with her. She seemed to have lost all of her courage with that one act and every time he thought of initiating something, he remembered the night of the thunderstorm and her reaction and he got nowhere. But he was the one that wanted her here and now the burden was on him to say what needed to be said.

"Hinata, do you see this house? This house was restored with you from the beginning. Every part of this house has a part of you. This is my house and I want you to come live with me and be my wife in this house."

Hinata continued to watch the coals burning softly, but he couldn't see any colour rise on her cheeks like he thought he would. Instead of blushing there seemed to be an absence of colour. Her blood receded and her face turned a whiter shade of pale.

"I've already told you that I'm no good for you. I'm damaged beyond repair. I feel like I broke and I disintegrated into sand. I can't get back whole again. I can't move forward." She started to tell him what happened the night her son died. She didn't cry this time. It hurt to relive in words, but she got through it. She told him what happened afterwards, how she sabotaged her marriage and her career and generally her life in what she realizes now was an attempt to punish herself. When she was finished, he said,

"Hn."

She almost laughed. What did she expect him to say?

Silence filled up the space. It was the peaceful silence that she'd gotten used to and now loved between her and Sasuke. They sat like that for who knows how long until finally he creaked open his mouth to speak.

"There's so much wasted time and thoughts and actions in my past. But it's pointless to think how those things could have been put to better use or how you could have made better and smarter choices because there's no getting them back. You could grieve endlessly for the dead and for how you've changed and turned. But what we've lost will not be returned to us and there's no point in dwelling in the past or worse, stuck in the present hoping for the past to return in the future."

Hinata nodded, knowing that he was right and yet not being upset about it.

"When people tell me that people lose children every day and that I needed to move on, no matter how gently they said it, I get upset. How dare someone tell me how to feel and for how long, I think, yet, when you say it, it's not so bad."

"Why is that?"

"I think it's because I'm stuck somewhere in between a view of people that they are dark and spiteful and mocking, and a certain optimism that there are marvellous, beautiful people in the world that can make me feel proud to be human. In the past I leaned more to one side – optimism. But things have changed in my life, I have changed and now I'm square in the middle, maybe even leaning towards the dark a bit."

"Hmm."

That wasn't the response that she wanted. She wanted to know if he understood what she was telling him, why she and him were in understanding with each other now, why she was here. She asked him more directly,

"Where do you think you are? Are you still in the darkness?"

He paused for a while, understanding her question and noticing the underneath of the underneath in what she had said before and he answered,

"I'm right where you are."

She smiled because she knew he was telling the truth. Somehow in life they started out on opposite ends and now met each other half way.

Rain began to fall.

"If I hadn't taken that kimono, would you have come?"

"I don't like being forced, Sasuke-san." She replied quietly.

She noticed that a lot of her interactions with Sasuke involved a disagreement of some sort on some level. This wasn't like her. If anything people would almost always describe her as agreeable, complaisant. But there were also the times when there was so much peace between them, like a brush drawing of tranquillity that it bordered on the surreal, the divine. She was attracted to both sides with him, even the parts where he was combative. During those times something sparked within her and between them. It was odd. She liked that kind of energy; she was attracted to it. It was the reason she liked Naruto so much. But with Naruto she was on the outside looking in, being amazed at him as all of that energy swirled around him. But somehow Sasuke drew her in from her position of spectator.

"You're stubborn." She shook her head in disagreement, lamenting that she was also proving his point. He smirked. She realized that he was flirting with her. Flirting!

"You're controlling." She said.

"Sometimes."

"All the time."

"You're controlling in a subtler way. Silk with a touch of steel."

"You're always in control. Do you know what it is to lose control?"

"Do you?"

They were dancing around a topic. He could see colour return to her cheeks in full force. She got up and walked over to the window, padding across the wood silently. Her back was to him and he watched her greedily. It did not escape his notice that there was no visible collar of the nagajuban. Was she really wearing nothing underneath that kimono? Her clothes were lying upstairs on his bed. The very thought stirred deep feelings within him.

Hinata was trying to gather up courage to do what she wanted to do. The mortification of him catching her in the kimono was starting to ebb and a new feeling of dread was creeping up at the thought of what he would think to know that she was wearing nothing underneath that kimono. Would he think her confident or corrupt? Also, she was struggling with the fear that something horrible would happen if she was to lose herself with him. God! That fear was so overwhelming sometimes despite the fact that she wanted him. She admitted it now. She really, really wanted him.

They hadn't put on the lamps and the clouds outside were obscuring the night even more. Flashes of lightning illuminated the room frequently. It was dark except for the lightning flashes and the orange-yellow glow of the slowly dying fire, but it didn't matter because of their eyes which were trained to seek out the slightest of light within the dark.

She turned and walked closer to him. She slowly started to take off her obi, putting her hands behind her back and generally looking ungraceful. She felt silly, wishing that she was wearing something a little less cumbersome and squeaky! The obi was a bit tight on her. Her period was due and she was a bit bloated. She should have been wearing something that would fall to the floor by unclasping one pin or something; anything but this obi!

"T-t-t-t-turn around or close your eyes."

"You'll have to come pluck my eyes out of my head yourself."

Sometimes, just sometimes, she really hated him. He smirked.

She wanted to stop, but somewhere in her mind she remembered a time when Ino had told her that a confident woman can make a man see anything she wants him to see. She tried her best to remember that when she finally got off the obi. The kimono having none of the accoutrements that would usually keep it in place, fell open and she stood uncertainly holding the obi in front of her like a shield, her elbows glued to her side, locking in the kimono.

Sasuke leaned forward and tugged the obi from her hands. She automatically tried to cover up by closing the garment, but he took his katana and lightly rapped her on her knuckles. Gently he pushed open her kimono with the sword. The material slid off and he activated his Sharingan to stare boldly at the sight of her: her very large, full breasts; her stomach that was flat but not hardened with muscle, her wide hips, the patch of dark hair between her legs; her pale, thick thighs. His Kekkei Genkai mapped every inch of her body.

Resting down the sword away from him, he pulled her down to him. His confidence left him, but he fronted still. So many men envied how easy it was for him to get women with his disheartening attitude. But he knew that his cool attitude with girls was not an affectation, but actual indifference, ineptitude and inexperience.

With false bravado he put his hands around her waist and kissed her confidently like how he'd wanted to for so long as she awkwardly took off his clothes. He rolled her onto her back and brief comedy ensued when they nearly rolled into the fire. He steadied them, but nearly burnt his left hand in the process. Ash from the irori got on his hands. He realized this when he touched her and left his mark everywhere – dark ash staining her skin, contrasting sharply. He moved to kiss her neck and her collarbone. Now her skin lit up red and bruised and when she moaned he bit her, just a nibble, just to mark her that she was his. She dug her nails into his back and he felt quite comfortable being branded by her.

Eventually however, his certainty failed him. He pulled away from her.

"I've never done this before."

It's easy, she wanted to say, but refrained, not wanting to remind him of the person with whom she would have done this before. She didn't have to courage to give him love instructions out loud, so instead, she smiled shyly and wrapped her legs around him, rolling him onto his back, but she rolled them too far and they almost ended up in the irori again. She was mortified and hid her face in his neck. She only rose up when she heard a low, very quiet chuckle. She felt a little more comfortable.

"M-m-maybe you should sit up." She whispered to him.

He pushed her back a bit so he could see her face which was beet red. He raised an eyebrow at her. He wanted to comment that she really was controlling in a subtler way, but knew that that would only embarrass her further. He sat up and she straddled him; her full, round breasts jumping with every movement he made. The sight of that together with the image of the ash on her skin and the marks that he put there – he'd never been more aroused, his heart beating fast and hard. It was a giddy time for him and he smiled. For that smile she rewarded him.

Outside the storm raged on, but his home was warm and comfortable.

Later, Hinata and Sasuke lay entwined in each other and Sasuke found himself wishing that he had fallen in love with her earlier, much earlier so that he could have loved her longer. The house was dark and the fire had completely gone out and the rain had settled into a steady drizzle for the time being. They couldn't really see each other clearly, only faint, hazy outlines. She was curled up with her back against him and he substituted not being able to see her clearly for touching her with certainty. His fingers traced her skin, moving slowly down from her shoulder to her waist.

They talked of the future, of his dreams for the future Uchiha Clan, of her sister's intentions for the Hyuuga Clan and that due to the predicament her sister was in, more than likely change was coming for the Hyuuga. They talked of their future.

His hands slid lower to her hips. He caressed the dip where her pelvic bone met her legs, his hand just stopping there.

"You didn't answer me."

"About what?"

He didn't respond and she suddenly realized to what he was referring.

"I'm lying here with you and you still question?" She said very quietly.

"I need to make sure. Do you know how I feel?"

"No. Tell me."

"I cannot tell you and believe me I have tried. Language fails me and that just further aggravates me."

"Hmm. I understand. I feel the same way and it's not just about feelings of grief and guilt, but I cannot tell you the way that I feel about a lot of things, about you and it bothers me. But you shouldn't worry. He'll always have a part in my heart, yes, and I may never stop loving him, but…I just love him in a different way now. It's not the same as it was before, not more or less. I didn't think I would have been capable of loving anybody again, but here you are… This isn't just physical, but something deeper with you."

He seemed somewhat satisfied with that answer, she wasn't sure, so she took his actions for his words. His hands dipped between her legs. She moaned and he leaned over and whispered in her ear with desperation and vulnerability that was so genuine, "Never leave me. Promise me."

"I promise."

But she did leave. She had to leave for her mission the very next morning. He didn't mind so much. That wasn't the leaving he was referring to anyway. However, two weeks turned into four and four weeks turned into three months and three months into six and she and the rest of Team Kurenai had yet to appear.

Naruto and Sasuke sat outside sipping on some beers on the still unfinished porch of Sasuke's house one evening. They were already dressed in their travelling clothes. They were planning on leaving for Mori no Kuni in a couple of hours…if Hanabi didn't come back with good news, that is. Naruto could feel the rage rising off of Sasuke. It reminded him of the distorted vision of shimmering air just above a really hot galvanized roof – you couldn't see it just like that; one had to look, but it was there.

"Hanabi and her team have found them. Don't worry. They'll be back soon. They're supposed to arrive tonight." Naruto said as he sipped on his beer. He had been in Sage Mode all day – a skill perfected by now that he could use it with little effort on his part.

Sasuke didn't answer. His mind was on the smoky remains of a destroyed Kumo, Kiri and Mori no Kuni and the rotting corpses of their nin floating down their rivers which would be reddened with blood. Team Kurenai had disappeared after just two months – vanished into thin air along with their mark somewhere between Mori no Kuni and Kumo. No one could be sure, not even Naruto who used his Sage Mode to his limits. Sasuke wanted to immediately leave a Kumo sized crater where the Village once stood and Naruto didn't mind that idea either, but he was of course concerned about the innocents. Eventually, it was Shikamaru that talked some sense into them:

"You don't know where she is. You go in there with Sharingan a-blazing and you can make things worse for her. By the time you get to her, you've blown our cover and any chance that she might have to get out of this alive. Just hang tight. They're good ninja and they're capable. Hanabi and her team will track them."

Sasuke didn't settle for that though. He and the old Team Taka surreptitiously left to track them, but after months they came upon nothing.

Though of course, Shikamaru was right. After two months Hanabi and her team found them…in Mori no Kuni. Sasuke didn't know how she did it, but any negative thoughts he had towards Hanabi evaporated as soon as he heard the news. Ecstatic as he was though, Sasuke knew that as soon as they got back, he was going to wipe Mori no Kuni off the map.

"I don't want another war." Naruto said sombrely.

Sasuke nodded. He didn't want one either (he was not considering obliterating an entire nation an act of war). He just wanted to live a peaceful life with Hinata in this house. She had promised to never leave him. He couldn't handle another loss. It was an effort to keep himself out of the darkness as he often wondered if her love was still there for him, if she was still his. I'm right where you are. Those words echoed in his mind day after day. It was the only thing keeping him alive, keeping him grounded.

"It's a delicate situation and I gotta work something out. It's been so many years since the last war and that fight we had. Things just went back to the way it was. The more things changed, it's the more they stayed the fucking same. We killed the big snake back then, but a bunch of other little snakes kept popping up. I gotta deal with the situation. I can't let something like this happen again."

Sasuke didn't know how Naruto was going to do that but he assumed that it involved Naruto talking until he got blue in the face and passed out from hypoxia. He might even throw in a few Rasengans in there to help the cause. But otherwise, he didn't know how Naruto was going to do that, but it was something he'd been saying ever since Hinata went missing.

Naruto was quiet for a while. He seemed to be deliberating something.

"Sometimes in life you don't always get what you want." He said quietly after a while. Tell me about it, Sasuke bitterly thought. "I can't get back certain things. I can't get her back. I realize that now. She's yours now."

Sasuke looked at Naruto who was looking straight ahead at the road and at the thick cluster of trees ahead of it and his gaze seemed to go beyond that and beyond that. He hadn't mentioned to Naruto anything that happened between himself and Hinata, yet somehow Naruto knew.

"But I still have my boys and I want better for them. I still have you and my friends and this Village. I have to make this place safer for all of you. I have to make sure that things don't stay the same for all of you. I want better for you. There're a lot of things in my life that's fucked up, but I can still make it better for you guys."

"What are you trying to say, Naruto?"

Naruto seemed to open his mouth to clarify, shut it. It was okay because Sasuke seemed to understand what he was saying anyway.

"How long will you be gone?"

"I don't know. I only hope that everyone will understand, especially my boys. Take care of them for me. Take care of this place. Take care of Sakura too okay? She's been really good to you, you know that. Take care of Hinata. I know that you love her, but really love her, okay? Don't hold back on her. And whatever you do, just don't fuck with her heart. She's a good woman." His words held a lot of weight and resonance.

Sasuke didn't know what to say. He was feeling an odd emotion. Before he got chance to process anything, Naruto said:

"They're here. She's safe. They're safe."

Sasuke didn't seem to hear anything else. He rushed off in the direction of the main gates. He climbed a tree at the main gates and stood watch. From just a hundred yards away he saw through the darkness Kiba's new dog's massive figure, followed by Kurenai and was that Lee being carried on Kiba's back? And then he spotted her. She was walking fine enough and looked to be not too hurt, only exhausted. She looked too tired to put one foot in front of the other. When she spotted him however, she broke out into a sprint as if someone was chasing her. She stopped at a grinding halt just in front of him.

They just stood there and looked at each other. She was looking up at him and he was looking down at her.

"Sasuke-san," She said as she stopped in front the tree he was perched upon.

"Hinata,"

He jumped down, underestimating how close he would be to her and almost landed on her feet. Hinata was instantly reminded of when he saw her crying atop a river more than a year ago. Her lips began to quiver and tears came to her eyes. Last time she had taken three steps back as she tried to hide her tears. This time she rushed at him and embraced him. He held her tightly, not caring that people were in shock to see such public displays of affection from this unlikely couple.

"I'm right where you are." He said quietly to her as he held her. Things were going to change, but for the first time they allowed themselves to hope for the better.

A/N: So that's it. I just have the epilogue to put up. I just want to say thank you to my reviewers who have inspired me. I listen to all of your comments. Your comments have shaped this story and have challenged me to write better. Thank you for following this little story. Kindly comment below and let me know what you thought of this chapter, of this story. I really hope that you guys liked it.