"I'm sorry, I hate to be a nuisance."

"Nonsense my boy, nonsense. I'm glad to be of service."

Martin fussed around his living room, laying numerous plump pillows along the sofa and arranging blankets neatly.

I hugged my torso and watched, embarrassed that I was so useless. We were in the same routine for almost a month now. From when I left Ivo.

He knew where I was. He'd been watching me. Every time I left Martin's flat to go to the shops or the library I would see him out of the corner of my eye, watching me from across the road or driving past in his car.

It terrified me that he hadn't contacted me by now. I knew he wanted to. He was just waiting for me to realise how helpless I am and to come back to him but I was determined. No matter what I was never going back to Ivo.

I couldn't believe now that I had justified all his actions, listened to him and believed him rational when he said he did those things because he loved me. How can that be loving someone?

"Now, I had intended to cook this evening but now that it is the evening I find I rather don't want to. What do you say Mr Cornish, shall be be bold just this once and order in?"

I smiled a little.

"Sure."

He was treating me like an esteemed guest and it made me feel quite guilty which wasn't his intention but I felt it anyway. Surely at my age I should be in a secure job, able to provide for myself and in a stable relationship.

I wondered what would things would have been like if I had stayed with Emily, then of course my thoughts turned to Isabel. Ivo had told me on numerous occasions about how Isabel had realised that she simply had a crush on me, on my attractive features. That all women were prone to be lustful at times. That she wanted to play the role of the temptress because of what had gone on between her and Kit. She needed to spite him in order to stay with him. That hurt more than anything he ever said or did. Because now I doubted the only good thing that had ever happened to me.

'I'm telling you this so that you'll understand, so that you won't pine for her. She doesn't love you like I do.'

We ate dinner in a companionable silence, Martin's cat asleep on my knee. I hadn't taken Shadow with me, she had been out when I left and I was too afraid to go back for her. I was terrified that Ivo would have killed her or left her to starve. I voiced this to Martin on the first night that I turned up and he assured me that cats, even house cats, adapt to fending for themselves. I hated the thought of her in dark and cold alleyways so I spent a lot of time looking for her.

Martin cleared the table, made easier by having eaten from the takeaway dishes. He stopped for a moment at the window, moving the net curtain slightly aside.

"Oh dear," he said solemnly.

"What?"

"I do believe Ivo is here."

He looked at me worriedly and jumped when the buzzer rang. Neither of us moved until it sounded again.

"I'd better answer it," I said.

"I'll talk to him," he said, not waiting for an answer before opening the door and going downstairs. I heard him yell something at Ivo and then heavy footfalls on the stairs. My heart hammered more and more until he stood in the doorway and it felt like it had stopped altogether.

"Tim."

He looked much older than I remembered him being, more tired and worn.

Standing from the table I moved so that I was further from him, Martin's cat hissing angrily at being dumped on the floor. He frowned at me.

"This is enough Tim, get your things."

I laughed.

"No Ivo, it doesn't work like that. I'm not going anywhere with you."

He was shocked.

"I don't want to see you again," I said coldly.

He sighed then and held the bridge of his nose in concentration. Trying to refrain from shouting.

"Tim, we can talk about everything but I'm not doing it here."

Martin stood in the doorway, glaring at Ivo.

"This is my property Ivo and I would like you to leave."

"I'm going," he said, looking at me.

"Come with me, just to talk."

There was a long silence then as I deliberated. If anything I could go back to the flat to collect the rest of my things. I nodded and he looked relieved as he stood aside to let me go out the door.

Martin looked scandalised and followed us down the stairs.

"Tim, you cannot be seriously considering-"

"Save it Martin," Ivo said rudely and held open the front door for me.

"I'll be back soon," I assured Martin, not that he looked convinced.

The rain was drizzling outside as we crossed the street to the car. It was familiar and made me feel more at ease even though I was afraid of being so close to Ivo after having avoided him for so long. Once were in the car he stared straight ahead for a few minutes, both his hands on the wheel. I thought he was going to say something but he just started the car and began the short drive to his apartment.

I heard the sound of the champagne being opened in the kitchen and I began to worry. He was practically already celebrating me having returned to him.

He carried in the two glasses and handed me mine with a smile. I debated between sipping it to show him I was fine or gulping it down so that he would actually believe me. I chose the latter and he smirked a little.

"Been missing the fine life?"

I just looked at him, too worn down to argue. He seemed to regret saying it and shifted closer to me on the sofa.

"Tim."

He reached up a hand to stroke my hair.

"I've missed you."

I said nothing.

"I know you've missed me too. You're so thin," he said sadly. "Have you even been eating."

I shrugged. These days I mainly just stared into space or had a cigarette but more from stress and paranoia than missing Ivo.

"Are you hungry," he asked suddenly. "Let's go to dinner."

"No, no thank you. I've eaten."

He scrutinised me for a moment, trying to establish if I was telling the truth.

"Alright."

I jumped when I saw something out of the corner of my eye until I realsed that it was Shadow weaving her way through the furniture. She seemed to smell me and began to meow loudly as she ran towards me. I scooped her up and cuddled her.

"She's been doing that a lot," he said warmly. "Meowing anytime she sits in your chair. She misses you too."

"I'm taking her with me."

"Tim," he said angrily.

"This is her home, it's your home. Stop talking about leaving."

"I am leaving. I'm leaving you."

He ignored me and went to the kitchen before bringing back the bottle of champagne and pouring it into our glasses.

"How is your writing going?"

I blinked at him before giving in an pretending everything was as it used to be to keep him happy.

"Not so good, haven't been writing much lately."

"Mmm."

I drank more champagne and stroked Shadow lovingly. She was happy to see me and I liked that. Her motives of love were innocent.

"Well," he said slowly. "I've been a mess without you."

I watched him carefully and I could see that his eyes were watery.

"Just don't know what to do with myself. Doesn't seem to be much point without you."

We just looked at each other then which Ivo mistook to mean something deeper on my part and leaned in to kiss me gently. It was a nice sensation and I let him, knowing what I was getting myself into but tired of always trying to fight against it.