Ivo had been silent for a long time. His hands were clenched around the steering wheel and he focused his attention entirely on the stretch of road in front of us but the twitch of his jaw was giving him away.
"Are you mad?"
"No."
"You look mad."
"I'm not mad."
"You wanted me to tell the truth."
"Just give it a rest Tim."
"Why did you agree to come if you don't want to do it," I asked.
"I do want to."
"Well you obviously don't. You said next to nothing the whole time."
He gave a harsh sigh.
"I just wasn't expecting it, for you to say all those things. It hurt."
"But it was the truth."
We stopped at the traffic lights then and he glared at me.
"There is a difference between the absolute, factual truth and your opinion. Saying that I am the main financial provider, that is the truth."
He swallowed.
"Saying I only stay with you to sleep with you is your opinion."
He looked away then.
"And one that hurts."
The atmosphere was tense when we were home. Ivo went straight to his study and I deliberated as to whether I should follow and comfort or give him space.
I waited an hour before hovering in his doorway.
"I'm sorry," I said quietly and his shoulders hunched over.
"It's okay."
"No it isn't. I've hurt you."
He looked at me sadly and then stood from his chair to stand in front of me. He placed a hand on my cheek and looked at my shoes.
"Mmm. Maybe it was necessary. Now I know what you think I can work harder to show you it's different. That's why we're doing it after all."
"It's just sometimes things are a bit confused in my head."
He laughed a little.
"Yeah, perhaps. Maybe we can discuss things between us first, before we go to the counselor again."
I nodded and he smiled.
"Anyway, I'm starving so let's have dinner."
He left me to go and make us something to eat and I sat down in his leather office chair. The one that despite my hinting and outright asking Ivo wouldn't fuck me in. He said he would never be able to get any work done ever again with the memory of it. I smiled to myself as I picked up the odd things from his desk.
He had a photo of us both from a weekend at the coast rested against a coffee mug and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. There was a paperweight that enclosed a small maple leaf inside glass and I wondered if it was a fossil of some kind. They were all over the flat.
I regretted lifting the last thing on his desk which was an invoice for the counselling session. It made my stomach turn when I saw how much it was for but I tried to put it out of my mind and went to help Ivo.