Darkness.

That was the first thing I was coherently aware of as I opened my eyes, and it was all I could see in this abyss I had found myself in. My eyes were open, I knew that, but I saw nothing beyond my own hands, trembling weakly, scarred and dirty in front of my face. With a shudder, I quickly closed them again. It made no difference of course, because whether my eyes were open or closed, I could only see the darkness. But for some reason, I felt safer that way.

The second thing I noticed was that I was floating. Or, at least I think I was. I felt completely weightless, and I felt nothing solid beneath my feet. I wasn't flying…I wasn't floating…what was I doing? Where was I exactly?

Then the third thing I noticed was that I was in pain.

My whole body suddenly felt as if it was on fire. My arms and legs ached, my chest seemed to have caved in, crushing my lungs and hindering my breaths, which were already shallow and strained. My throat felt strange, as if there was some sort of lump lodged in there and I couldn't get it out, even if I coughed. And I could have sworn that my spine was fractured; my back was stiff and if I moved, the pain only worsened. Did I crack my shell?

But the worst pain was coming from my shoulder.

I didn't want to open my eyes. I didn't want to look at the damage. But I had to know why it was hurting so badly. Bracing myself, I opened them and looked down at my right shoulder.

I couldn't hold back the gasp of horror at what I saw.

Two large, bloody gouges lined the space between my collar bone and stretched down to my chest, were part of my plastron was scarred and fractured. My already stressed breaths began to come out in ragged, panicked gasps once I realized that I was still bleeding out, the dark crimson liquid pumping profusely from out of my wounds as it trickled down my arm and my chest. I could even see the bone through the bloody flesh that was supposed to be my green skin…

My eyes went wide, and despite knowing that hyperventilating would only worsen my condition, I didn't care. All I knew was that I was scared. I was scared, I was hurt, and as I darted my gaze left and right, I knew that I was on my own. I had no idea where I was or how I got here. Better yet, how the heck did this happen to me? Who did this to me? How did I –

And then I remembered.

A spark of light flashed before my eyes as everything came flooding back to me all at once.

The Kraang took our home…the Foot Bots attacked me all at once…Rahzar, Tiger Claw and Fishface…the uncontrollable rage that coursed through me as I screamed, fighting them off one by one…

Then the Shredder appeared…and everything shattered like glass before my very eyes…

Shredder.

Oh god. I was dead, wasn't I? Shredder struck me down, and now I was...

I was dead. I had failed. I couldn't beat them, not matter how hard I fought, I just couldn't beat them. And now here I was. I was alone, cold, afraid, and my brothers were probably –

My brothers.

Splinter.

Oh no.

Oh god please no.

They had no idea what had happened to me. They had been counting on me to come back to them, to lead them all to safety and then find Master Splinter, together…and I had failed them all. I left them all behind, because I was too weak to stop the Foot, to stop the Shredder…to stop anything.

Raph…Mikey…Donnie…April…Casey…Master Splinter…

I squeezed my eyes shut, my body curling up into a fetal position as I threw my arms over my head. The tears rolled down my cheeks and floated away into the empty darkness as I cried.

I hadn't cried like this since I was younger, back when I was still scared of monsters under my bed that would snatch me away and eat my alive. Back then, I would cry into my pillow until Splinter –my father – came into my room and held me against his chest, gently stroking the back of my head until I fell asleep again, feeling safe within his strong arms.

I was no different from the child I had been so long ago as I sobbed uncontrollably in the confinement of the darkness. And this time, I was on my own. Splinter wasn't going to come for me. He wasn't going to hug me and tell me that everything was alright, that I was only dreaming.

Because how could you bring comfort to a dead child?

I didn't know how long had passed, but my tears eventually subsided. But I didn't feel any change within me, other than the fact that I felt heavier, like a weight had been pressed upon me.

April had once told us that humans sometimes cried when they felt they needed to let their emotions out, be they happy or sad, and later they would feel lighter, like a weight had been lifted from their shoulders.

That wasn't the case with me. Instead, I just felt empty. I was still in pain, and the bleeding from my shoulder wouldn't stop, but now added to that pain was a hollow, bare feeling.

Still curled up, my eyes stared numbly into the endless abyss before me. I was still so cold, but my body was already too numb to shiver anymore. My wounds continued to throb painfully, but again, I was too worn to care. I was dead. There was no point in worrying about anything anymore…

But if I was dead, then why was I still in pain? Why was I still so cold?

Splinter once told us as children that when we died, we were reborn again, but we were not the same. We were born in different bodies, raised by different parents, lived different lives, and eventually died a different death, only for the cycle to repeat itself over and over again for all eternity.

Was that what was going to happen to me? Was I going to be reborn again soon, and start that cycle once again? Or could it be that…

…could the fact that I could still feel this emptiness, that I could still feel at all…maybe I wasn't actually dead?

Maybe I was hovering in that strange place between life and death? I wasn't dead yet…but I was dying. And my death would be slow and painful, just like how the Shredder had slowly worn me out, pushed me to my limits, until he saw fit to end it all with a single blow…

It was then that I heard something that brought me out of my thoughts. It didn't come from me. It came from outside the darkness. It was…a voice.

"…I'm sorry, Leo. You were right."

I gasped, my eyes going wide. I knew that voice…

Donatello?

Where was he? I couldn't see him anywhere within this dark place. That could only mean that…he was alive?! What about Raph, Mikey and the others? Were they okay too? And I could hear him, which could only mean that I…

I really was alive, too? Just unconscious?

"…If we'd just left the city when you said, the Kraang would never have found the Lair and started the invasion…none of this would've happened."

Donnie's voice, though it was the most blessed thing I've heard since I appeared in this emptiness, sounded so lost, so broken…like he was on the verge of tears himself.

Oh, little brother. It wasn't your fault that this happened; you were only trying to help. The fault was mine for not being able to see that. I was blinded by my ego, by my fear of everything going wrong that I failed to realize that, maybe, you were right all along.

It was I who failed to protect you.

That's what I would have said if my voice could work. I wanted so badly to reach out to my brother, to hold him close as we did when we were small, and tell him that everything was going to be alright. But I couldn't see him. I couldn't touch him. And even then, he wouldn't have heard me from wherever I was…

At least I could find some peace in knowing that my brothers were alive, even if I had failed them…and yet, as I closed my eyes again, though I knew my brother was there by my side, somewhere within this darkness, I still found myself feeling so alone…

I was alive. I knew that now. But I had never felt more lifeless…

Time seemed to be almost non-existent in this void. I knew that it had passed, but I didn't know how much. It could have been minuets, hours, or a day? Or perhaps it had been months, maybe even years. Well, however long had passed, I knew it had been too long since I'd heard Donnie's voice. His broken, lost voice still echoed in my ears…it killed me on the inside to think about it, but it was the only thing that kept me sane.

It was the only thing that I had left to connect to reality.

More 'time' had passed, though it felt like mere seconds before I started to feel it.

Though I was still alone and lost, I noticed a slow but subtle change in my body. I found that I was no longer in pain. Well, I was, but it was nowhere near as unbearable as it had been before. My back still hurt, and my limbs were still very sore, but I found I could actually move now with little difficulty.

But what shocked me the most was what had happened to my shoulder. The wound had miraculously closed by itself, as if it was healing, or someone had stitched it together somehow. I assumed it was the latter, since it had left a scar behind. The wound itself still hurt, like the rest of me, but it too had subsided.

And on top of that, I realized I was starting to get warmer. I felt as if I was sitting in a blessedly warm pool of water, finally shutting out the bitter cold at long last.

And as I continued to get warmer, I started to become more aware. I could hear whispers of voices now. They were nowhere near as loud as Donnie's had been, but I could still hear them. It had to be some kind of sign or a signal of something…a sign that I was coming out of it…

Then something even more puzzling happened. Before, I had been floating weightlessly in darkness, suspended by nothing but thin air. However, I suddenly found myself slowly but surely lowered to a solid surface. I blinked rapidly as I looked around where I lay on my side, but I still saw nothing. Was this a sign that I was getting better? Was I…was I finally going to wake up? Well, if not that, at least I wasn't floating anymore.

Slowly uncurling from the position I hadn't moved from since my tears had stopped, I tried to stand up…only to come crashing down again with a pained cry as my right leg gave way.

Lying back on the 'floor', I clutched my throbbing leg. Why hadn't I felt that before? Maybe that pain was overlooked by everything else. Damn it all, it hurt so badly.

If I wasn't going to wake up, then why all of this pain? Why all of this misery? Was I simply doomed to lie here in agony for the rest of eternity for my failures?

Was this my fate?

Was this…death?

Suddenly, I felt something take my left hand and hold it tight. I jumped in fright at the contact. What was that? I reached out to grab at whatever was touching me, only for my free hand to close on thin air. I was confused…and yet, even though at first I was afraid, it was oddly comforting and familiar. It was soft yet coarse, like the palm of your hand if you had been using a weapon for so long…

Wait…a hand…a large, rough, three fingered hand…

…and then a voice. It was deep, and just as rough as the hand holding my own, and just as soft, if not broken.

"…Leo…wake up, bro…"

My eyes went wide, and a shuddering breath left my lungs. I knew that voice. I knew that hand grasping mine.

And then, for the first time in what felt like an eternity, I was finally able to find my voice as I uttered a single name…

"…Raphael?"

The moment that name left my lips was the moment in which a spell was broken. The darkness suddenly fell and crumbled around me, revealing bright, beautiful rays of light. As the light enveloped me, I no longer felt the cold, and I was no longer afraid as I sound the will to struggle to my feet again, reaching out to the light, as if I were reaching towards a hand…

…and the hand took my own, and I was pulled from the darkness…

My eyelids felt like weights as I slowly forced them open. My sight was blurry, and my mind was a muddled haze, but I could just make out my surroundings. I was in some kind of old bathroom or something. I didn't recognize it at all. Where was I?

When I looked down, I realized I was sat inside a bathtub filled with warm water. Now I knew the source of the warmth whilst I was in that dark place.

Blinking slowly, I turned my head to my left…and I found that my hand was being held in the tight grip of my younger brother, Raphael.

He had both his hands clasped around mine, holding it tight as if he was afraid if he let go, I would disappear. His head was bowed lowly, and his eyes were shut. Was he asleep? How long had he been sat beside me on that old wooden stool?

Then I heard sniffling.

And as I continued to watch my brother with my weak gaze, I saw a steady trickle of tears slide down his cheeks. His shoulders shook with effort to contain the sobs that threatened to burst from him as his grip on my limp hand tightened, almost desperately.

"…Leo," he whispered, his voice cracking at the edges. "…come back to us. You've been like this for months, and the others…we're starting to lose it, Leo. W-we miss you. We need you…I need you. And I never even got the chance to tell you that…"

His voice trailed off as he bit down on his lower lip. I didn't move, and I said nothing as waited for him to finish, though I could hardly hold back my own tears as they slipped down my cheeks.

"…I love you, brother…"

I felt my heart nearly shatter to pieces as my brother, my strong, hot-headed little brother, cried by my side, clinging onto my like a lost child. And that's exactly what we both were. We were both a couple of scared, lost little kids in a messed up world…

But despite that, I knew I couldn't let my brother cry like this. I had to show him that I was still with him, that I had heard his pleas and that I would never, ever leave him again…

I found the strength to grip Raph's hand as he held mine.

Raph froze, his emerald eyes snapping open in shock. Slowly, he lifted his head up to look at me. Our eyes finally met, and he let out breath that borderline a gasp and a chocked sob as he stared at me. He blinked several times, almost as if he couldn't believe this was happening. "…L…Leo?" he whispered, his voice wavering with uncertainty.

I smiled at him through my tears. I knew I was weak. I knew that every inch of me was burning with pain, including my throat as I struggled to speak, but I'd be damned if I let that keep me from telling my little brother exactly what he needed to hear…and telling my brother what I wanted to tell him for so long…

"…I l-love you t-too, Raphie…"

Despite the fact that my voice sounded like gravel (and had it suddenly gotten deeper?), the expression that Raph gave me told me that it was probably the most beautiful sound in the world.

More tears spilled down his cheeks as he leapt off his stool, and within seconds I found myself enveloped in a warm, strong embrace unlike any other as Raph wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. It hurt a little, but I endured it as I brought up a hand to grip Raph's arm, squeezing it reassuringly as he held me close. I knew it was selfish, but I needed this. No, I've craved this for god knows how long, and I wasn't about to waste it.

He was smiling, but the tears wouldn't stop. "LEO! You're okay!" he cried, nuzzling his cheek against my own. "Thank god…I thought you'd never wake up…"

I smiled against him. Raph never showed any of us this much affection, and I gladly relished the moment. And I couldn't hold back as I squeezed my eyes shut, the tears flowing from my eyes as we held each other, neither of us ready to let go just yet.

I thanked the stars that I was even able to do this.

I thanked whoever was listening to my prayers, over and over again, that I was still alive, that my younger brother was safe in my arms…

And if Raphael was here, then that must mean…

"…Raph," I said, inwardly wincing at the sound of my voice (again) as we reluctantly pulled away, and I looked up at him. "…w-where's Donnie and Mikey?" I asked him. "A-are they…?"

After using the back of his hand to wipe away the tears (tough the dampness on his mask would still be evident) he nodded and smiled at me again. "T-they're downstairs, I'll get them for ya!" he said, and then just in front of the door before shouting, "GUYS! GUYS! GET UP HERE!"

Seconds later, the sound of feet stomping rapidly up stairs rang through the…wherever we were, and then two more familiar figures burst through the bathroom door before coming to a stop beside the bathtub, gawking at the sight of me.

Mikey…

Donnie…

They were all here. They were all okay.

"Leo?!" Donnie cried, beaming as tears began to form as he stared down at me with those two brown eyes filled with relief.

I smiled up at all of them. "…hey guys," I said, my voice getting stronger now. Still it sounded so strange, like it wasn't really me talking, but someone else. What happened to me exactly?

"LEO! YOU'RE BACK! DUDE!" Mikey cried, tears running down his cheeks as he launched himself at me as Raph had done before, hugging me around my neck, but with more force. In fact, this time it actually hurt as he held me tighter as if I were a teddy bear.

"Ah! Ow, it's okay, Mikey. Ow, that hurts…" I grunted weakly, patting Mikey's hand in reassurance as he nuzzled his tear-stained face against mine. But even though it hurt, I found myself smiling. He was only excited to see me again…as I was just as happy to see them. I would have returned the hug with gusto, but right now, everything just burned.

"Hey, take it easy," Raph cautioned, patting Mikey's shoulder, but his smile never faded. In fact, they were all still smiling down at me, and even Donnie had let a few tears of joy flow.

My three little brothers. They were all here, safe and sound and gathered around me as I finally came to my senses. It was, without a doubt, the best thing I could have woken up to after so long of being trapped in the darkness alone…

"Let us get you outta here," Raph offered, and I made no argument as the three of them helped me out of the bath (though I missed the warmness of the water) and set my bare feet down on solid ground. I looked down at myself, and realized that not only were my wrappings gone, but so was all of my gear, including my mask. I felt oddly exposed, but at that moment, it didn't matter.

I had a lot of questions that were in need of answering, but those could wait for a little while. All I wanted right now was to share this moment with my brothers.

That's all I ever wanted.

A/N: Hi guys! I decided I would do this fic in Leo's P.O.V only. It was only fitting, tbh. I mean, i think it'd be easier just to focus on one turtle for now, and I think it would be more fun and interesting to show how Leo eventually heals up and takes his stand.

This one was ESPECIALLY depressing for me to write, but it was interesting to experiment with. I hope you enjoyed it!