Dear diary,

It takes time to find the right thing, the right path. Sometimes we want answers right away and other times we are patient enough for life to take its course. Either way, I've spent a long time believing I had found my path. Now that I know it isn't exactly as I thought, I feel challenged to pursue it again.

Elena left Dr. Rose's office feeling tired. All the talk was exhausting, digging up matters that are easier left alone, ignored. Dr. Rose would never allow anything to be left out. She was precise with her questions and she made Elena discuss the Matt issue. By now Elena knew there was no point trying to avoid the subject. If she was asked about it, she had to answer.

Elena explained how they used to date, how they were supposed to date because it felt only logical. She cared for him deeply, but was she in love with him? No. Had she ever been in love with him? Probably not. People usually say that when you're in love you know it. Elena didn't know it, so she probably never truly loved him, passionately, dangerously.

"I just don't know how to do this."

"You don't know how to break up with him?"

"No..."

At this instant, Elena felt a terrible need to have her mom back. They used to talk about Matt, about boys, about stuff like this. This was a matter to discuss with her mom, to cry in her lap asking her how the hell do you break up with someone. She knew she wasn't a kid anymore, nobody could do this for her nor did she actually intended it that way.

"You're just afraid, Elena." Dr. Rose said in such a calm voice that it caught Elena's attention. "Nobody knows how to do a break up, this things don't get planned methodically."

"I know...I'm sorry, I sound so childish."

"So what is it?"

"I had already broken up with him."

"In your dream?" the doctor asked carefully.

"Yes."

There was a silence. Rose wanted to give Elena all the time and space she needed to feel comfortable enough to talk about the dream, the other reality she was so curious about.

"After my parents accident, in my dream that is, Matt understood he had to give me space."

"As he's understanding now?"

"I guess..." Elena shrugged. "He was hurt at first, because of Stefan, but somehow we managed to stay friends."

"And you're afraid of things being different now."

"Exactly." There was an excitement in Elena's voice that put a smile at Dr. Rose's face. Elena felt understood and it felt good. On the other hand, Rose also felt somehow exhilarated by finally starting to get through Elena, to know she's letting her guard down with her. They are finally trusting and understanding each other.

"Well, that's a risk you'll have to take Elena. But do you want to know what I think?" The doctor relaxed in her chair, looked directly into Elena's eyes and waited for approval. Elena simply nodded. "I believe in the human brain, in the human subconscious. If in your dream you two managed to get through a break up, I'm sure you deep down know that you'll get through it again. Life is testing you, Elena. If you had the courage to do it once, you have the courage to do it twice. I'm sure you already know that the worst you could do is-"

"stringing him along."

"Exactly." Rose was surprised but proud to see Elena's growth. This was not the scared little girl lying in a hospital bed that she first met. In such a short amount of time she had been making good progress.

Elena was riding back home, thinking about her conversation with Dr. Rose. Her life is so different now. Sometimes it scares the hell out of her. Other times, when she is alone in her thoughts like now, there's a part inside her that feels empowered. She knows what she wants. She just needs to get it. And the first step? Well, just like before, the first step is to let Matt go so that both can get what they want.

Elena took a deep breath and made a detour towards Matt's house. She rang the doorbell hoping Vicki wouldn't be the one answering. The situation was difficult and awkward as it is. Fortunately, it was Matt who came to the door. As he looked at Elena he almost let a smile show. Nevertheless he knew to be cautious. Matt knows how ephemeral happiness can be.

"Hi." Elena said with a timid smile.

"Elena, come in."

At first she didn't know if she should go inside. She felt like an intrude. However, they have been friends forever, they were friends before dating so she thanked him for the invite and stepped inside. Both went directly into the living room. Elena sat on the couch as Matt decided to take the armchair across her. The house was silent. Vicky was probably either at work or out with her friends. As for Matt's mom, Elena knew she wasn't a constant presence in his life. It was a shame. It's not that she was a bad person, she just didn't know how to be a mom. They were home alone which made Elena feel slightly more comfortable, if that was even possible.

"How are you, Elena?" Matt asked noticing her confused face.

"I'm fine, thank you." She answered quickly as he had just pulled her from her thoughts. "How are you?" She asked concerned.

"I'll survive."

As Matt replied, he gave her that side smile of his. Elena knew it too well. Yes, he'd survive. He always survives the many challenges life puts in front of him. But she also knew how fake that smile was. He would definitely survive but it would take time. And that smile conveyed that perfectly.

"Matt, I came here because I need to talk to you."

"I know."

"You do?"

"Yes, Elena. I figured it all out after you went home from the hospital and didn't call me once."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too."

"I never meant to hurt you."

"You've been in a massive accident and everything, I understand that right now there's no place for me in your life."

"You'll always be in my life." Elena said taking herself to the edge of her sit as if trying to reach him. "You're my friend, a very important friend. There will always be a place for you in my life."

"A friend place."

"I know this will probably take time. But the place is there, it won't ever leave. When you feel like it, just come claim it. Okay?" Elena was trying to look Matt in the eyes to assure him he'd always be special.

Matt nodded and Elena took this as her queue to leave and let him heal. She got up, gave Matt a tight hug and said her goodbye.

As she got into her car again she didn't feel empowered. Those were definitely rare moments. Right now she felt crushed and damn scared. At this moment, going back to her house wasn't an option. There was just one place in the world where she wanted to be, where she felt secure, so she rode across the Wickery Bridge until she arrived at her destination.

The house was huge and grand as always. She turned off her car and with it the only lights illuminating the place. Everything was dark but she wasn't afraid. Right there, alone inside her car, surrendered to all the darkness, Elena relaxed and let herself fall asleep until morning.

The morning sunshine woke Elena up. It might be expected for her to wake up confused, but that wasn't the case. She remembered last night perfectly. She knew she had fallen asleep inside her car right in front of the Salvatore's Boarding House. What she didn't remember was getting into the back seat of the car. She was laying there all curled up. How did she get there? Her body felt a bit sore but her mind was clear. She decided to get out of the car to stretch herself. This place was so beautiful with such inviting gardens.

As she stepped out of the car she noticed something on the ground. Footsteps. There were footsteps pointing directly into the back seats door. Elena gasped. At first she felt terrified. This meant that somebody had put her in the back seat. But who would do that without any intention of harming her? Who would do that in such a way she'd never felt a thing? Someone had been there, last night, with her. Someone who wasn't human. Someone different. Someone special.

Elena's phone rang snapping her out of her own head. It was Jenna. Elena immediately knew she was in trouble.

"Hi Jenna!" She greeted in her best voice.

"Elena? Elena, where are you?" Jenna shouted.

"I'm with Bonnie" she lied. But before she could elaborate Jenna kept going.

"You can't keep doing this Elena! You can't not come home! Are you listening to me? You have a house, a bed, it's supposed to be for you to sleep in."

"Jenna, breath." Elena couldn't help but feel slightly amused. She knew she had screwed up and that she was in trouble. But listening to Jenna being so protective in her own way was amusing.

"No! You listen to me, the next time you do this I...I...I'll have to punish you!"

"You're right. I won't do it again, okay? I'm fine, rest assured."

"You better be. Now, try to remember you have a home and a family, ok?"

"I will aunt Jenna." Elena said with a smile.

As she hang up the phone, Elena knew she had to call Bonnie. Fortunately her friend had stayed home all night and morning so her lie was perfectly secure. Now that all the drama was taken care of, Elena decided to take just another look around the house searching for more evidences. One of the Salvatores had to be here. Or maybe both. But which one had come to her? If at first Elena was excited and even exhilarated from the prospect of the Salvatores being real, she then got extremely mad. If one of them, or both, had been there, why didn't they let her notice them? If someone had been spying on her, he'd certainly know what she has been going through. How everyone in this freaking town thinks she's crazy and how much she misses them. The thought of the lack of courage to step forward from either of the brothers made Elena sick. She was so upset that she paced towards the car and decided to drive back to her house.

After taking a shower and changing her clothes, Elena found a message on her phone from Caroline. It only urged her to go to the Grill, to which Elena promptly obliged.

As Elena reached the table, an over smiling Caroline slid through it an old looking key.

"What is it Caroline?" Elena asked while sitting.

"This is your opportunity." She answered excited.

"My opportunity? For what?"

"To find your dream prince charming."

"My what?" Elena asked laughing at the ridiculousness of the conversation but Caroline turned serious.

"Elena, this is the key to the old Boarding House."

Elena froze. She couldn't believe what was right in front of her.

"How did you get this?"

Now that Caroline knew she had gotten her friends full attention, she relaxed and answered.

"I knew how much you wanted to get inside that place. Zach Salvatore is going out of town for a while and he needs someone to water the plants and air the place. I thought you'd be perfect for this task."

Elena decided it was best not to tell her friend she had already been inside the mansion. What Elena needed was just a legal and more appropriate way to spend some time there. This was indeed the perfect opportunity for her to look for clues. Slowly everything started to come to her, how she'll be able to roam the place, to look inside the bedrooms. Maybe there will be pictures or diaries or any kind of document, of proof, that Stefan and Damon are real.

Elena grasped her friend's hands that were resting on top of the table, "Thank you Caroline." She said whole-heartedly.

Caroline smiled feeling proud of herself.

After spending some time with her friend, laughing and chilling, Elena drove back home. She still couldn't believe the opportunity she was given. There was some weird feeling hanging in the air. She tried to look for Zach who could never be found despite the fact that people in town did know him. As for Caroline, who Elena thought would never understand her situation, she was the one to get her closer to her dream.

As Elena drove, she could only think about what she was going to tell Jenna. She wanted to gather her things and go straight to the Boarding House. She needed to see more than just the foyer. She wanted to feel close to him. She wanted to be at home.

Finally Elena arrived at her house. She slowly closed the front door with her back and let out a sight praying for some kind of extra strength to come her way. She knew that asking for Jenna's permission to sleep at the Boarding House wouldn't be an easy task.

"Hey, are you glued to the door there?" Her aunt asked.

For the second time today Elena was taken aback by the familiar words coming out from the wrong mouthes.

"Hi. We need to talk."

Both stepped into the kitchen. Elena set by the table while Jenna grabbed some tea.

"Is everything ok?"

"Everything's fine." Elena said with a smile. "Caroline got me a sort of a job, I guess."

"Really?" Jenna asked intrigued.

"I'm going to take care of the old Boarding House."

"You're going to take care of a house?"

Elena let out a small laugh at her aunt's confused inquiry.

"Zach, the owner of the place I guess, had to step out of town for a while and I just have to water the plants, get the mail, air the place, you know...standard stuff."

"Okay..."

"What?"

"Nothing. I was just expecting something different, that's all. But that's it? That's what you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Sort of." Elena paused as her aunt looked at her puzzled. "I wanted to ask you if it's ok that I sleep there tonight."

"You want to sleep alone in that humongous place? All my yourself?"

"I find that place fascinating and I wanted to take this chance to be there."

"Can't you go there during the day?" Jenna had a very hard time saying no to her niece. Elena was a nice kid, even though she didn't see her as a child. She always behaved and has never gotten herself into any harmful situation. She was just exploring the world, which is normal. Jenna knew that herself had made her fare share of world exploring and she turned out alright. It was just that Elena had been through so much that her aunt wanted to shield her as much as possible. But the truth is nobody can shield the others. People have to go through their own paths and Jenna knew this. She'd always be there for her niece no matter what. Some days she would yell and try to be all disciplinary, and other days she would be the cool aunt who was more like a sister than an authority figure.

"I know I haven't been much of a family member, but I just need to be there."

"Ok." Jenna sighted as she got up the table. "You can go but tomorrow I'll be there with lunch."

"Of course!" Elena blasted the biggest smile Jenna had seen since the accident.

"And keep me posted! Rumor has it that place is haunted. Try not to get swept off your feet by evil ghosts."

"I won't. I'm very much protected there." Elena shouted while climbing the stairs to pack. She picked up an old bag and threw in there the first things she found on her closet. As she moved to the drawers she couldn't help but noticed the red lingerie that had such an appeal to Damon in her dream. Carefully she picked it up and stared at it for awhile. If Damon is real he would surely present himself knowing she was wearing such a thing. Elena laughed at her silly thought. Constantly thinking about Damon and completely ignoring Stefan was becoming too natural. She decided not to pack the lingerie. It could definitely be a good luck charm, just not right now.

After finishing packing everything else she needed she went to Jeremy's room.

"May I?"

"Sure." He said turning to face Elena.

"I just came to say goodbye. I'm going to the old Boarding House."

"You're staying there?"

"Yeah."

"Ok then, the place seems cool."

Elena smiled at her brother relaxed approach.

"You can come check it out sometime if you want."

"I will. Thanks."

Elena turned around to go back to her room and get her stuff. As she was crossing the bathroom Jeremy asked, "But you're good, right?"

"I am. They need someone to take care of the house and I'm free. That's all."

"I'll visit you then."

Elena and Jeremy's relationship would never be cheesy, but they were close. They usually knew when to step in or when to step back. They wouldn't hover each other unless dramatic measures needed to be taken. Without using any words, they knew how much each one cared for the other and that was heartwarming enough.

Elena got her stuff and drove to the Salvatores'. When she got there everything seemed to occur in slow motion. She parked the car, stepped out of it and took out of her pocket the old detailed key. She expected to feel nervous, maybe somewhat afraid, but that wasn't the case. Elena was relaxed, she knew this was the next step to be taken. After opening the door everything was pitch black inside. Elena walked in looking for the switch to turn on the lights and she could still smell the burnt wood of a fireplace. Was this just her imagination? Or was it real? She finally turned on the lights and her mind just got all clear. Elena was home and there was a lot to be done.

Not bothering herself with the intense smell she was feeling, Elena went back to close the door and lock it. After that she knew she needed a room so she got her bag and went upstairs. There was plenty to choose from but Elena knew which one she wanted. She went straight to Damon's room and it was at that point, standing right outside of it, that she somewhat trembled. This was it. Elena was going to open that door and what if it wasn't the same? What if there was no clues whatsoever and she would still have to be there in that place full of dreams and so empty of reality? Nevertheless, Elena wasn't a quitter. With all her bravery she opened the door pushing it away. For a second she lost all her ability to breath. Very slowly she stepped one foot inside the room, as if she was learning to walk again. The moonlight invaded the room creating the most beautiful and unique ambience. Elena got all caught up on her emotions. She wanted to laugh but tears were dreaming from her eyes. Everything was the same. The huge bed, the fireplace, the mirror, even the "Gone with the wind" book by the bedside table. Next Elena turned her face towards the bathroom. The huge, simple and absolutely inviting bathtub, the shower and the double sink. It was all as in her dream. It was all as it should be. It was all perfect.

Dear diary,

I'm naive to believe I know what I'm doing, where I'm going. But I have to believe in something. I believe that right now this is what I need, what I want. I've never felt so close to him. His presence is everywhere. My heart burns with excitement but I feel calm as I just came home.

Author's Note: I know I've been taking a lot of time updating this story. I've been extremely busy but I want to assure all of you who enjoy reading this story that I will finish it. I'm as passionate writing it now as I was when I first started. I just ask of you to be patient with me as I don't have as much time as I used to. Thank you all, once more, for your support. Please keep reviewing and always feel free to contact me.