Dear diary,

Something extraordinary happened today. Even though it was so much harder than I had ever anticipated, I finally found out the truth.

"You'll couldn't leave it all alone, could you?" he said with wide eyes, those deep blue eyes that now seemed more bright than ever before.

Elena froze, she was perplexed. A million thoughts were rushing through her mind. It was one of those moments that, even though you wished for and longed for for so long, there was no way you could have prepared yourself to face. Elena could only think that, if Damon was there, right in front of her, did that mean he was actually a vampire? Why couldn't she formulate the words to confront him? Also, if Damon was there, where was Stefan? What happened? What did it all mean?

Damon noticed the confusion in Elena's eyes. He didn't want to scare her more than he already had. At the same time, he was beyond happy to see her, awake, alive, full of life. He could hear her heart beating incessantly, bombing blood that flushed through her veins. This was such a human trait. He decided to stay put, waiting for her to make the first move. While he waited, looking at her, he felt a shy smile forming on the corner of his mouth. Fortunately, he was able to control himself before showing any kind of affection towards her. She shouldn't know more than what was extremely necessary. Damon knew how dangerous he was. He knew how even more dangerous he could be when around her. What he didn't know, though, was how much she remembered. What thoughts were actually going through her mind. And what a marvellous and intriguing mind that was. All the time he had spent inside her head, she never ceased to amaze him. Now, he was the one feeling somewhat scared. How would she react when she found out they had pried into her mind? He knew that hadn't been right. He had only done it because he had to. When Stefan found out about Elena's existence, that she looked so much like Katherine, he had to know more. If he hadn't started getting into her head, Damon wouldn't have had to try to make amends. But now it was too late. They couldn't go back and change things. Elena's mind was far too curious to leave it all behind, which led them to this exact moment. She was there, right in front of him, looking lost, confused, and somewhat intrigued. And he was there, waiting, what felt like a lifetime, for her to react.

"Damon…", Elena finally said in a broken voice, her eyes blinking as to make sure that he was actually there.

Damon tilted his head, not taking his eyes out of her. Again, he didn't want to make assumptions as to how much she knew, or what she actually wanted to know. He kept silent, waiting for her to say something more. In her dream, he had told her he loved her and he had been rejected. He understood, though, that she felt the need to go to Stefan. Nevertheless, he didn't really want to put himself through the pain again. Did she know he had fallen for her?

"Are you…" the words were slowly coming out of Elena.

"Yes, I am." he had vowed to tell her the truth.

Elena felt sick. "So," she thought "vampires do exist…" She had 'lived' with this reality before, why was it so difficult to accept it all now? Damon felt her uneasiness, and, this time, he took a step forward towards her.

"I'm not going to hurt you or anyone else, for that matter." he promised.

That didn't really console Elena.

"Where's Stefan?" she said in an attempt to compose herself.

There they were. Those three little words. He did his best not to show how much it hurt him that she still, in life, asks for Stefan first.

"Zack and Stefan went out of town for a few days."

So that was the reason Zack had left and she was here to look after the house, Elena thought.

"And why are you here?" at that moment, Elena looked straight into Damon's eyes. The words came out so fast that he felt a rush going through him.

"I promised I would never leave you." as soon as Elena heard it, she felt sane again. The dream had actually meant something. At that moment, a shy smile started forming on her face. Damon continued, "And you couldn't stop your curious little mind from finding out more, right?" Elena was back to feeling appalled.

"What did he mean by that?!" she thought.

Damon saw the changes on her face and, not being able to stop himself, he came closer to her and tried to lighten the moon, "Also, someone had to make sure you wouldn't ruin the plants." That smirk finally appeared.

Elena didn't really find his words funny, although she had missed looking at that seductive sly smile. At the same time, there was this feeling hanging in the air of how natural this conversation seemed to both of them. It was as if they had known each other for long, which led Elena to her next question.

"Did it happen?" she asked in a calmer and more controlled voice while looking at him with squinting eyes.

"Well," Damon started while taking his eyes off her and focusing on his bourbon, playing with it as if it could wash it all away, "not everything was real."

Elena was even more confused now. What did he mean by 'everything'? Some parts where real? Some weren't? How would she distinguish between reality and fantasy?! What actually happened, then? Her brain was overwhelmed with questions and thoughts that seemed to flow so quickly that she couldn't even process them. Finally, she found in herself the ability to move. Slowly, she walked towards the couch and sat down. Damon stepped aside in order to make way for her. His head was brimming with contradictory thoughts. On the one hand, he didn't agree with anything that was happening. He was sure that he shouldn't be there. Stefan and he had done enough harm to Elena as it was. She should be allowed to live a normal and happy life without their interference. On the other hand, he did fall in love with her, with her body, with her mind, with her soul. He couldn't wait to touch her, to caress her cheeks, to feel her beating heart against his body, to kiss her lips. But life isn't that easy. People don't just wake up from such complicated dreams as if everything was normal. If he were to act upon his desires, it would take an awful long time. Not that he was worried about time, as time was all he had. However, was this the way that he wanted this relationship to start? With him and his brother meddling in Elena's mind? It wasn't. He wanted this to be right. He wanted to do right by her. She deserved so much better.

Damon took a deep breath and went to sit by Elena's side, with his body trying to face her as much as possible while leaving a safe space between them, trying not to overstep his boundaries.

"Elena," he said and she immediately looked at him. He said her name with such sorrow and such sweetness that she couldn't help but interrupt what he was about to say.

"What took you so long, Damon?" tears started filling her eyes.

Damon bit his lip, tilted his head and swung it ever so slightly from side to side, as regret filled his every bone.

"It's not right Elena."

"What isn't?"

"This. Stefan and I. You shouldn't have to go through any of this."

"How do you know that? Shouldn't I have a say in it?"

There it was. Elena's strong personality, the one that challenged both brothers so much during her sleeping time, shinning through, demanding to be heard.

"It's complicated. We aren't human, but you are."

"Didn't I accept that already?" the words slipped through her mouth without her being able to control it. Her reasoning tells her to stop, that this whole thing is scary as hell, vampires aren't natural and there's a reason to be afraid and confused. Nevertheless, her heart feels how real her whole dream was, how real her feelings are. If they haven't done any harm to her so far, why shouldn't she trust them?

"You didn't accept anything, Elena. You were sleeping. Your consciousness was numb."

"Then what happened, Damon? Tell me. Tell me the truth because I don't understand any of it." her voice was showing irritation now, she was getting impatient and frustrated.

"You had an accident."

"I know that! What happened after the accident? Didn't Stefan save me?"

"No, he didn't." he said hesitantly.

"Then what?" she was anxious now.

"Another car passed by you as soon as yours started drowning. Luckily, the driver was a lifeguard so he immediately jumped in the water and was able to save you, although you were already unconscious. When the ambulance arrived, they took you to the hospital but, as you know now, you took your time waking up."

"So, how did I meet you? And Stefan?"

"One day, when you were at the hospital, Stefan stopped by to get some blood bags. That was when he saw you. You caught his attention because of your resemblance to…"

"Katherine." Elena interrupted.

"Well…yes, that's it."

"Does that mean that I'm a doppelgänger?"

"No!" he said as if it was the most absurd thing he had ever heard of, "Katherine died a long time ago, it's just bizarre that you look so alike."

Elena wasn't convinced. In her dream Katherine was also supposed to be dead and yet she brought hell along with her when she showed up.

"But she was in my dream, I met her."

"Exactly Elena, in your dream. Dream being the imperative word. It wasn't real."

"It felt real Damon."

"It wasn't, your mind was just trying to deal with so much stuff…you were overwhelmed."

"What stuff?" Elena asked cautiously.

Damon bit his lip once again. This time it was his fault, he volunteered just enough information to keep her curious.

"How rude of me! Would you like some bourbon? I could use a bit more bourbon." he said while standing up to fill his glass again.

"No, don't try to distract me. What stuff?"

"Stefan couldn't understand how it was possible that you looked so much like her. So, he went into your room and got in your head." he said slowly as he went back to sit beside her. This time he didn't look at her, his eyes were constantly fidgeting.

"What?!" Elena screamed, disgusted, "All of this was his doing? He gave that whole dream?!"

"No, not everything. He merely set things in motion. I might have contributed a tidbit as well."

"You what?! What is wrong with you people?!" Elena continued screaming at Damon.

She got up in an instant and ran towards the front door as fast as humanly possible. She left the house closing the door right behind her loosing all her strength at that precise moment. She started crying, feeling betrayed. Her head was spinning and her stomach was hurting. She used the very remaining energy left in her body to move towards the small stone wall in front of the boarding house's door. She put her hands on the wall and used her arms to support her body weight, leaned forward and threw up. She was feeling dizzy and weak. That was when Damon used his vampire speed and, in the blink of an eye, he was there, touching her for the first time since she had gained consciousness. With one hand he grabbed her arm gently and put his other arm around her waist. Elena was exhausted and her body was crying for some rest. She couldn't keep it together any more. Just as she looked into his eyes, her body gave up and Damon took her into his arms and carried her back into the house.

Dear Elena,

I'm not one to write much. I believe words are meaningless without action. It can be so easy to put letters together and formulate sentences. It's a mechanical thing, you see. When writing, you have time to erase something you've already put on the page, change it, make it more appealing or even more dramatic. It is so easy to manipulate or to let ourselves be manipulated by our desires to look good. I gave up writing a long time ago. It actually infuriated me that Stefan would spill his whole soul into his notebooks. When you write, you're just putting down your own perspective of things. In reality things aren't unidimensional. Journals lack the complexity of interactions. I, for one, believe in living. I don't care about writing down everything that happened to me in order to remember it all later. I want to live it. Live it so intently that I will never be able to forget it. However, it was you who changed things for me. You are the reason I'm noting this all down. Here I am, right beside you. It's dark out and there's nothing to see, not even the moon is able to light us tonight. The halls are quiet and I can easily hear you breathing. It's slow, far too slow for my liking. I wish to see you more alive. You see, in my 170 plus years on this Earth, I'd never come across someone as intriguing as you. I'm so sorry for what you've been through and what you're going through right now. But someday you will wake up and, when you do, I don't know how many questions you'll have running across that head of yours. I hope there aren't any. I hope you learn your lesson to stay away from the Salvatores. But I can't help myself. Since I know this is a conversation I can never have with you, I've decided to write it all down. I'm not one to open my heart and soul, nonetheless, certain matters weight too much on my chest. If I don't say them, I don't know where my actions will take me. I'm a monster after all. Right now, all I need is just to say it once: I'm sorry Elena, I'm so sorry for all of this.

Thank you so much for the kind messages you've been sending me. I've been working hard to build this story in a plausible way. I'm trying to leave as fewer plot holes as possible. This is a very hard premise to work with and I hope I'm not disappointing anyone. To me this is a very special story and I'm so thankful that you are enjoying it as well. Keep reviewing and let me know what you think :)