I'd stood in the doorway to watch Tim lounge across the settee. He lay with only his jeans on, leaning on one arm, a book held firmly in the other as he scanned it idly. His toes wriggled every few minutes or so and he gave a soft sigh as he pushed his hair back from his face. A half empty glass of wine sat on the ground next to him and he lifted it awkwardly to his lips to ensure he didn't spill a drop. I couldn't see from this angle but I could imagine the little scrunching up of his nose that he does when he drinks red wine.

It's a Tuesday evening. This morning I had gotten up; earlier than usual. Making us both breakfast I had persuaded Tim to give in and eat properly instead of his usual diet of coffee and a cigarette that he didn't know I knew about. He'd chatted whilst he had a mouth full of scrambled egg. I'd snogged him hungrily before leaving for work.

Work hadn't been overly taxing today. It wasn't the time of the mad rush when all the dissertations were due and the coursework had to be checked, marked, handed back and then remarked. I had a little bit of time on my hands which was rare. As far as I could remember Tim had said he had some free time too, aside from meeting up with some friends and his usual trips to the library.

He yawned which made me need to yawn too.

I pulled my jacket off and entered the living room, standing over him.

"Hey," he said with a smile as he leaned backwards to look at me. I moved around the sofa to lift his legs so that I could sit down. He smiled when I set his feet in my lap and began to gently massage them.

"Mmmmmmm," he exhaled and closed his eyes as I increased the pressure right in the middle of his foot. He loves that. He winced when I pressed harder but I knew he liked it, He opened his eyes and set his book down carefully beside the wine glass, pulling his feet back for a moment.

"Let me rub yours too," he smiled with a tilt of his head.

Lifting my own feet up we tried to get comfortable on the small sofa, his long and elegant legs having to bend to be accommodated. He pulled my socks off cheekily and tried to tickle my foot. I gave him a look and he stopped with a smirk. He surprised me when he grasped my foot and dug his fingers right into the top part of the ball of my foot which felt very good indeed. Had he been researching?

"How was work?"

"Good," I responded sleepily. I was never usually one to be tired before bed but this was so relaxing.

"You seem tense," he began teasingly. "I think your neck will need a massage too."

I acquiesced and spun around so that my back was to him, his legs draped around my waist so that I could still rub them. His smooth fingers ran their way across my shoulder blades and down my back before inserting themselves underneath my shirt. He lightly scratched down my back which I liked before he began to deeply work into the muscle. It was just what I needed.

"Is this okay?"

"Perfect," I groaned happily.

We sat there for hours, talking about this and that. Funny little things that no doubt I wouldn't remember in the morning but that were still important to me. I felt the cool metal of the ring on his finger and it made me feel contented inside. Safe and warm. I wondered if he had picked one for me yet.

Did he think I should wear one so people would know I was taken? So as they wouldn't flirt with me. If only he knew just how little attention I got outside of this flat, he needn't worry. I worry about him all the time. Admittedly when I bought the ring I had thought of it as an incentive for Tim to remain faithful, as well as to ward off others. I wanted some confirmation of commitment from him. I constantly have to reassure myself of his existence. Most nights I reached across slowly and just touch the back of his hand or make sure that I can smell his shampoo just to know that he is there. That it is indeed, my Tim, who is sleeping beside me.

I'd taken to massaging his feet a lot more as it seemed to ebb away the nightmares. This last month had been one of the better months with Tim. When he wasn't telling me how much he loved me he was busy showing me. The horrifying and impending court case had in some way brought us closer. He confided in me, even the littlest things and I was reveling in it. Everything was not perfect, far from it. But I was happy, Tim seemed happy. Bright and confident and clear in himself. He had even agreed to adopt another cat when the other had to go back.

I thought on how I had longed for this as a young man. The feel of warmth and tenderness. Something to love and hold.

"Can we get a takeaway," he asked suddenly.

I thought on it for a moment and couldn't see why not.

"Sure," I laughed. "Is food all you ever think about?"

He squeezed my shoulders and leaned in to kiss the nape of my neck.

"Among other things," he whispered and then gave a soft moan when I rubbed a particularly tender spot on his foot.

"Mmm, that's nice, bit higher," he mumbled as he leaned back into the sofa. There were a few minutes of silence and then-

"Aren't you going to order the Chinese," he asked innocently.

I spoiled him too much, I thought to myself as I went to get the phone.