'I don't date!'

Harianna repeated the words again, for what felt like the hundredth time since her visit. She had gone to Ron and Hermione's in the hopes of getting a break from things ... from everything, including Kai Mason. Having starting writing again, she had got no further than killing off his Auror partner; Mathew Withers. Although she had been angry ... and frustrated ... she could not bring herself to - end - Kai Mason. What kind of person would that make her, to the world he may have been a fictional character, but to her, Kai Mason meant everything.

But she could not think of that small life form now ... not while she was here, not when Ron was resting Hugo's small body upon his chest. Hugo was enough of a recent reminder ... a reminder of what she once had.

'Do you want to hold him?' Ron asked, noticing where her attention was drawn to.

'No,' Harianna shook her head, 'I couldn't ...'

Ron sighed, and picked up the bottle from the kitchen table, 'So ...' he said, and she knew by his tone, he was changing the subject, 'I don't see what's so bad with doing the undercover surveillance with Draco.'

'I don't -'

'Date - yes, yes I heard you,' Ron said, now giving Hugo his bottle, 'But it wouldn't be a date -'

'Ron, it's part of the plan, Draco and I show up, as though we're on a date -'

'- well there you go then,' Ron said, 'It's not an actual date.'

'Feels like one.'

Ron looked exasperated, 'Well it shouldn't - Draco didn't ask you, did he?' she shook her head, 'And it's so you can capture our killer, who thinks their so clever, right?' she nodded, 'Then it's not a date!'

Harianna sighed, 'I feel like - like I'm betraying - you know, Theo - I'm betraying his memory.'

'Ria, the only way you'd be betraying Theo - is by not moving on. He'd want you to, you know that.'

'I don't want to move on!' Harianna replied. 'I don't want - I can't -'

'You can,' Ron said, 'you just don't want to. You know, I think this "date" will actually be good for you - I know you loved him, and he knew that but you can't feel like this forever, it's not healthy.'

'You know it's not!' he added firmly when she'd been about to protest. 'I thought - I figured that's why you wrote the stuff you did as James Evans. I thought that was your way of letting go.'

Harianna shrugged, 'It just helps sometimes - having an escape. Sometimes - some nights when I fall asleep, I still think I'm in that room, that Theo's being killed in front of me. Writing helps numb the pain - Kai - he's able to do what I wasn't -'

'Kai Mason is a fictional character, Ria, not your son. Your son is dead!' Ron said, 'You need to accept that - they're gone, Theo and Kai are gone.'

Much later as she sat at her writing desk, staring once again at the empty piece of parchment. She glanced over to a photo frame placed upon her desk, the photo was her inspiration - she picked it up, a woman and a man smiled at her from the non-moving picture.

'Forgive me,' she muttered at the photograph, tears falling down the side of her cheeks. Ron was right, but it still felt like a betrayal. This case was getting far too personal for her liking ... and though she thought of her husband and her son, it had never been like this. James Evans was causing her problems, and making her heartache. She could not put it down now though ... she could not stop writing ... she would not give up the last form of the son she had lost left, Kai Theo Mason ... she looked back at the picture in her hands ... Theo grinning, arm thrown around her ... Theo ... she had given Kai his looks with the male version of her persona. She had never explained his past, never explained why he was working in the Sexual Assault Unit ... as the case got more and more personal ... it made her think, maybe ... just maybe it was time to get more personal with Kai. Kai Mason was not her son, he was the image she had created of what her son may have been. Harianna placed down the photograph, and picked up her quill, Ron was right, it was time to let go. Kai Mason was in for a very long day...