"Have you seen Thor yet today?" Steve asked Tony when he came down to breakfast the next morning.
"If he isn't with Balto then odds are he's off moping in a corner because his family reunion didn't go the way he wanted it too." Tony said, as he handed Steve a plate of what looked like a mix of charcoal and raw meat. Steve resisted the impulse to hand the plate back and, instead, took it to the table.
"Give him a break," Bruce said. "He's been waiting for Loki to show up since he brought Fenrir back. He's disappointed."
"It's Loki. Did he really just think they would all hug and everything would be fine?" Tony said. "What happened last night was inevitable. No one could have gone up to that roof last night and not seen that coming." Tony paused and turned to look over at Clint. "Speaking of, how's your head?"
"Go to hell, Stark," Clint groaned, holding a bag of frozen peas to his head.
"Don't be mad at me just because karma bitch slapped you last night," Tony said.
"Sir," Jarvis interrupted. "Miss Potts has arrived and I believe that she is bringing up the items that you requested."
"Okay this is going to be special," Tony said, his grin nearly splitting his face.
"How's Fenrir?" Pepper asked as she came in, at the same time as Tony asked. "Do you have them?"
"I will never understand your priorities," Pepper said, handing Tony a paper bag and heading down the hall.
"Aren't you going to stay?" Tony asked.
"I read them on the way over. I'm going to go see Fenrir," Pepper said. "Oh, Steve you don't need to pretend to eat that. I remembered that it was Tony's day to make breakfast and Happy's going to pick something up for everyone." Pepper said, as she headed down the hall.
"Thank god," Steve said, pushing the plate in front of him away. He appreciated that Tony occasionally tried to make breakfast but, even with his immune system, he was pretty sure if he ever ate any of it then he would end up in the hospital.
"Forget about the food. In fact forget everything else going on in the world right now, because I have in my hands something truly beautiful," Tony said. Steve watched as Tony poured the contents of the bag onto the table.
"Oh God," Bruce said, staring at the magazines that were now covering the table. "You didn't finally agree to pose for Playgirl, did you?"
"Not yet," Tony said, handing one of the magazines to Clint.
"Tony, I have a grade three concussion from the God of Assholes throwing me into a wall. I really doubt that anything in here could-" Clint stopped as he saw the cover of what Tony had just handed him. A smile spread over his face.
"Oh no," Bruce said, having grabbed one for himself.
"Not going to lie, I'm feeling a little bit better," Clint confessed.
"Wait until you read the article," Tony said.
"What is it?" Steve said, reaching for the pile only to have his arm stopped by Bruce.
"You may want to brace yourself for this," Bruce said
"How bad can it be?" Steve said, grabbing a copy. At first he was surprised to see a picture of him carrying Fenrir back to the Tower from the day before. This wasn't so weird, there were plenty of pictures of him after missions. He was still trying to figure out what had made the magazine stand out to Tony when he saw the headline. Captain America's Dirty Secret? Immediately he flipped open the magazine to read the article.
It looks like the leader of the Avengers may not be as pure as he'd like us to believe. Yesterday afternoon Steve Rogers, aka. Captain America, was seen hurrying from the vicinity of New York's most infamous fetish club; and he wasn't alone. A gorgeously shirtless Rogers was carrying a man who didn't seem to have much on under the blanket he was wrapped in. Early speculation had labeled Roger's companion as a possible victim of some accident despite the beautifully calm and attack free day in question. But if that were the case then doesn't it seem like the first place he'd be taken would be a hospital? Tragically for the inhabitants of Manhattan, Captain America doesn't usually take victims home. All this, combined with eyewitness reports that the man was bleeding and had more than a few visible scars, has more than a few of us wondering- what is Steve Rogers doing with his free time?
"This is not funny," Steve insisted as Tony and Clint nearly fell out of their chairs laughing.
"Yeah, you're right, that article is a little dry. But this one is much more vivid." Tony said, holding up another tabloid.
"All I did was carry him back to the Tower. How does anyone get this out of that?" Steve asked.
"I don't know. We save a lot of people and you've never managed to lose your shirt before." Clint said.
"I had to use something to tie up his leg, it was practically falling apart," Steve said.
"No I totally get it," Clint said. "I mean, you could have ripped off a piece of the blanket but, you know, shirt works too."
"Hey, Captain Kirk never missed an opportunity to lose his shirt. Cap's just keeping the tradition alive" Tony said.
"How many of these are there?" Steve asked, starting at the pile on the table.
"I've been able to find about a dozen that ran it as an article. But once you start looking online it is everywhere. People love it," Tony said.
"This is insane," Steve said, feeling stunned.
"It's not that bad," Bruce reassured him. "It's just a stupid tabloid story. People are amused by it now but in a few weeks it'll fade just like all the others."
"What do you mean others?" Steve asked after a pause.
"Just that it's not like this is the first time that some rumor about you has ended up in the paper," Bruce explained. "Remember last year when people thought you and Tony were secretly engaged? People got bored with that and they'll get bored with this."
"So in the meantime I just?" Steve said.
"Stay away from fetish clubs for one," Clint said.
"This is humiliating," Steve said, slumping down on the table.
"Listen, calm down. Pepper's already issued a press release explaining that Fenrir was the victim of an attack and that you were just helping him." Tony said.
"You think that'll make a difference?" Steve asked.
"People tend to listen to her," Tony said. "She also has us all scheduled for a few publicity photos. It was overdue anyway. No one's taken a picture of me in my new armor yet. How's anyone supposed to truly appreciate what I'm doing if-"
"Focus Tony," Bruce interrupted.
"Anyway, Pep's got a guy coming next week. He's going to take a few group shots of everyone and then everyone gets a few solos," Tony explained. "Don't worry Cap, we'll have him pose you with a puppy or something. Give everyone something nice and wholesome to look at and next thing you know everyone will have forgotten your kinky sex habits."
"Oh, God," Steve said with a groan.
"Don't listen to him," Bruce said.
"It's not that. I just thought of something." Steve admitted. His teammates stared at him and waited for him to say what he was thinking. "What if Loki sees one of these articles?"
It had been strange enough when Thor hadn't wanted to come and work out with his teammates. Normally he never missed a chance to lift, smash, fight, or generally do anything to show off to his teammates how strong he was. So when he finally did come into the room and actually asked everyone to stop training, it was clear that something serious was on his mind.
"I am worried about Fenrir," Thor said.
That wasn't what anyone in the room wanted to hear. After Loki had disappeared Fenrir had practically been in shock and they'd needed to carry him back down to his room. It had been three days and, as far as most of them knew, he hadn't left it since.
"It's not his leg is it?" Bruce asked, stretching out of one of his yoga forms.
"No," Thor said. "He is mending well, considering the severity of his injury. It's not his body that is the problem. I'm not sure where his problem lies."
"What's going on?" Clint asked.
"Since Loki left Fenrir has barely spoken a word. He just lies in his bed and stares off. At first I thought that Fenrir's pain was caused by his father's departure but, now, I believe that it merely made things worse," Thor paused for a moment and the team waited to hear what he would say next.
"I went to see Fenrir just after you repaired his leg and, I realize now, that he was already like this. He just lies there refusing to speak and when he does, the things he says are strange. And now he is refusing to eat."
"What exactly is he saying?" Bruce asked.
"Different things," Thor said. "He'll begin talking of danger and mistakes but I can make sense of none of it. I was hoping that you would talk to him." Thor said to Bruce.
"Me?" Bruce said surprised.
"He considers you a friend," Thor explained. "I thought that he might talk to you. And perhaps you can make sense of what is going through his head."
"I guess I can try," Bruce said, as he and Thor headed out the door.
"You?" Fenrir said, looking up with surprise as Steve entered his room. "Which one of them sent you?" Fenrir asked as he settled back into his bed.
"What makes you-" Steve began.
"It was either Bruce or Thor. One of them asked you to come talk to me. So which one was it?" Fenrir asked.
"Pepper, actually. She was hoping that you might talk to me," Steve said, still standing awkwardly in the doorway. He still had no idea why she had thought he would have more luck than Thor or Bruce, but she had insisted that he try.
"Surprising. I would have thought she would send Tony," Fenrir said flatly.
"Do you want to talk to Tony?" Steve asked.
"I'd prefer not to," Fenrir said.
"Alright, well-" Steve began.
"You can go now," Fenrir interrupted. "I don't wish to talk to you either."
"Thor is really worried about you," Steve said.
"Thor is a fool. And he's wasting his time," Fenrir said.
It took a minute for Steve to come up with a response after that. Had Fenrir really just insulted Thor? Pepper was right, whatever was going on with Fenrir was a lot bigger than his dad not sticking around.
"He just wants to help you. He cares about you," Steve said.
"That's what makes him a fool," Fenrir muttered. Steve was about to try a different approach when Fenrir spoke again.
"Why would she send you? Thor is my uncle so of course he will try to make me talk. Bruce and Pepper have spent time with me so it makes sense that they would think I would open up to them. But why would anyone think that I would share anything with you?" Fenrir asked, he was now leaning up on his arm so he could look Steve in the face.
"You were willing to talk to me once before," Steve said, remembering the last time he'd been in Fenrir's room. "I think she was hoping that it might happen again."
"I hate to disappoint her but it won't. You should leave," Fenrir said.
"Don't think I can do that," Steve said.
"Get out," Fenrir said.
"No. Thor and Pepper are worried about you. Honestly I'm starting to see what they mean," Steve said.
"I'm fine," Fenrir hissed.
"You don't sound fine," Steve replied.
"And how do I sound? If you know me so well, why don't you tell me what's wrong?" Fenrir said.
"You're right," Steve said, stepping into Fenrir's room. "I don't know you that well. But even I know how close you and Thor are. You calling him a fool doesn't really fit."
"He is a fool. How I feel about him doesn't change that," Fenrir snarled.
"So this is all about something Thor did? Did you two have a fight or something?" Steve asked, pulling over a chair so that he could sit in front of Fenrir's bed. He wondered if it could really be that simple. Fenrir saw what Steve was doing and sighed as he realized that he wasn't going to get rid of the man any time soon.
"Look around you. Where are we right now?" Fenrir asked.
"Um, we're in your room," Steve said.
"Exactly," Fenrir said. Noticing the confused look on Steve's face he decided to explain. "The deal that I made to come to Midgard said that I would never use my magic. Thor should have sent me back to Asgard the moment I changed back."
"You want to go back to Asgard?" Steve asked, feeling like he was still missing a key part of the story.
"Of course I don't want to go back to Asgard. But that was the deal we made. The longer we make them wait the worse it's going to be," Fenrir said.
"You didn't use your magic on purpose," Steve began, immediately earning a look from Fenrir. "You're wearing the cuffs again, and no one's come yet, so it looks like they're letting this one go."
"They shouldn't," Fenrir snapped. "I wanted to pretend that it wasn't true. I was sure that I could be better but it always ends the same way."
"What are you talking about?" Steve asked.
"I almost killed Thor," Fenrir finally said. Steve stared at him in shock as Fenrir continued. "When I turned into a wolf all I wanted to do was go and hunt. Sink my teeth into something. Thor was holding onto me and I… I couldn't stop looking at his throat."
"You shoved him away," Steve said. "You didn't even hurt him."
"This time," Fenrir said. "But it's my destiny to kill Thor. It's only a matter of time before I lose the cuffs again."
"It was a spell," Steve said slowly. "Puck made you act that way. If you don't want to kill Thor then don't."
"Just because I don't want it to happen doesn't mean it won't," Fenrir said quietly.
"You're the one who gets to decide," Steve said. Fenrir stared at him for a moment.
"Have you ever known any shape shifters?" Fenrir asked.
"No," Steve replied, somewhat surprised at the turn the conversation had taken.
"People always think that shape shifters can just take on another form and wear it like a set of clothes. But that's not how it is. When you take another form you become someone else. You're still there but you're different and the other life inside of you is just as alive and it can take over if you let it," Fenrir explained. "I do not want to hurt Thor but that might not mean anything when I'm a wolf."
"Puck made you want to hunt and instead you hid. You've already shown that you can be in control," Steve insisted.
"And I have shown that I can completely lose control," Fenrir said. "Don't pretend like you have forgotten what I did on Svartalfheim. I know that my uncle told you about it."
"What did happen on Svartalfheim?" Steve asked. Fenrir stared blankly at him for a moment. "Thor told us his version, I feel like there's more to it."
Steve and Fenrir stared at one another and Steve began to think that he wouldn't get an answer. He'd been wondering about Fenrir's story almost since he'd arrived at the Tower, but maybe it was something that Fenrir wasn't ready to give up.
"I just wanted to show off," Fenrir said, breaking the silence. "Shape shifting is one of the most difficult types of magic there is. I was playing with the other children and when I said that I could become a wolf they didn't believe me. So I decided that I would prove it to them.
"There is a reason that my father often chooses to use illusions instead of transforming himself. There are countless stories of men who took a form so many times that they forgot which one was real. It is dangerous but I was so confident in my magic that I was changing to a wolf almost every day. With enough training and skill I could have maintained control, but it was too much for me."
"You lost control." Steve prompted, when it seemed like Fenrir wasn't going to finish.
"A boy threw a rock at me and the wolf saw an attacker. I bit him and then there… there was screaming and the smell of blood was everywhere. Instinct took over. It wasn't until my father used his magic to change me back that I'd even realized what I'd done," Fenrir said.
"But then, you weren't the one who attacked. The wolf was," Steve said.
"You don't understand. I am the wolf. He is an animal, with different wants than I have, but it's still me. Just different," Fenrir said. "Puck may have used his magic on me but he only brought out what was already there. Now I can't deny that this is a part of me and it will always be there."
The two of them sat in silence for a while, neither of them knowing what to say next.
"What you did that day was horrible, and you are going to have to live with that until the day you die," Steve said. "But none of that changes who you are now."
"And who am I?" Fenrir asked.
"You're the type of person who would rather risk losing a leg than hurt more people," Steve said. "Instinct and desire are one thing, but what you actually do means more. Wanting to hurt people is bad but resisting it, fighting to make sure people are safe, is what matters. In my book that makes you a good man."
They continued talking for a little bit after that but Steve could see that Fenrir needed some time to think and soon found an excuse to leave. As he walked down the hall he couldn't help but think about when Thor had first told them what Fenrir had done. How he'd thought the kind of person who could kill a bunch of kids would have to be evil. The more he talked to Fenrir the more he wanted to go back in time and punch himself for not trying to figure out the rest of the story. For not being nicer to someone who so clearly needed to be shown some compassion.
Seeing Thor coming down the hallway he hurried to meet him.
"Thor, I just talked to Fenrir," Steve began, but stopped when he saw the anger clearly stamped on Thor's face. "Is something wrong?"
"What is this?" Thor demanded, shoving something into Steve's hands. Steve looked down and felt his stomach drop. God help him, Thor had found one of the tabloids.
"Thor," He said slowly, holding out his hands. "I can explain."
AN: Just want to take a moment to thank everyone who has been reviewing. Keep it up and I will give you all a nice fluffy chapter...Mostly.