A/N: On the canon, Travis Beacham gives Raleigh's birthday as December 11, 1998, and Yancy's as November 7, 1995, which puts Raleigh as 17 and Yancy as 20 when they start at the Jaeger Academy. Based on the fact that in the movie, Mako didn't seem to have experienced full-on drift and the risk of rabbit-chasing until she partnered with Raleigh, I'm operating on the theory that full-on drifting didn't begin for candidates until they passed the second cut and started simulator training in the third term. I'll go into my theory on the reasons for that curriculum structure a little later in this story.

Chapter Five: Peaks and Troughs

Jaeger Academy Class 2016-B, Term 2.

October 2016…

By the final round of Drift Sync Testing, Raleigh was constantly marveling at how he and Yancy had ended up here. To think that it had all started as a bet on whether they could even get admitted, let alone get through those insane martial arts and kaiju science intensives in the first trimester. Yet here they were. And the great Caitlin Lightcap, inventor of the neural bridge and pilot of the first-ever Jaeger, war heroine and genius, was shooting them little grins over the top of the monitors that suggested she was optimistic about the results.

They were going to make the second cut. Top of the class, Yancy and Raleigh Becket.

They just might be Jaeger pilots.

They were starting to get used to the disconcerting double-senses that came with the pons, though they knew that if they got through this cut, they'd move on to a full neural handshake. By all accounts, that was even more intense, and even some people who seemed compatible before weren't able to bond enough.

Their first-cut class of sixty candidates in August was down to six pairs in October. There were three sets of siblings: Raleigh and Yancy, Devi and Susanti Hassan, Chloe and Christian Warner, two sets of cousins, Brian Patrick and Janet McDonald, and Bao Wang and Shan Thou, and finally Stephanie Lanphier and Kennedy LaRue, not related but longtime friends.

Tendo informed them that the eliminated candidates had instituted a betting pool on who would make the final cut and end up with a Jaeger. "I put my entire pot on you two, so you better deliver!"

Yancy nodded gravely and looked at Raleigh. "You hear that, Rals? As if we needed any more pressure, now we definitely can't blow this because our man Tendo'll be out fifty bucks."

"Now that's what I call motivation," Raleigh agreed, feigning stress.

It was getting stressful towards the end of the term. Raleigh was tired, wrung-out, and felt like his brains were silly putty, being stretched into weird shapes. They still had to maintain knowledge of all the combat drills, tactics, engineering, and kaiju science that they'd learned in the first trimester, not to mention keep in shape, and it was making for incredibly long days.

Raleigh was very much looking forward to the week-long break that would start tomorrow - assuming they weren't cut, of course. Yancy kept reminding him not to take anything for granted... but from the hours they were spending floating in and out of each other's heads, he knew that Yancy was, in his heart, no less optimistic about their chances.

Finally, electrode-covered caps hummed, and through the glass window into the monitoring room, they saw the lights change to signal the test completed. Dr. Lightcap tapped the intercom. "That's it, gentlemen. Once you're disconnected, clean up, loosen up, get some lunch, and be back at 1300 to discuss results."

"Yes, ma'am."

They were both so antsy that they didn't have much appetite, but made themselves eat and went through the entire stretching and limbering routine just for something to do. With an hour left to kill before reassembling, they were playing chess in a corner of the mess hall when the Gage twins came in. "Somehow we didn't picture you two playing something so highbrow."

Yancy chuckled and beckoned them to pull up chairs. "We traveled a lot. Long trips, planes, trains, automobiles, any long games were good. We've got a travel set at home that's magnetic so the pieces don't get lost. If we come back, we'll bring it with us."

"Good plan." The twins shared a sly grin. "Dr. Lightcap asked us to chat with you over lunch. Give you a heads-up about what to expect next term."

Raleigh's stomach jumped, and he couldn't help the shit-eating grin that crossed his face. "Next term?" Yancy kicked him under the table, but that same sizzle of excitement was visible in his face too, even as he tried to keep a lid on it.

The Gages raised their hands in unison. "Of course, the final decision is Marshall Pentecost's and the Academy Board's, but, well..." One of them winked. Raleigh still couldn't tell them apart. "Seriously, today's exciting, but the least we can do is give you fair warning about what comes next: It only gets harder."

Yancy nodded, calming himself down better than Raleigh, and matter-of-factly turned over his king, conceding the game even though Raleigh was nowhere near putting him in check. Raleigh swept the pieces and board back into their box so they could give the Rangers their full attention. "Fire away."

"Disclaimer established: assuming for the sake of argument you advance," the twins smirked. "First day back you get full-time Psych Analysts assigned to you, a whole team. That part... maybe more for guys than girls, I think, it can be weird. Not just drifting, but having to talk about everything."

"Is the full drift really that much stronger than what we've been doing?" Raleigh asked curiously.

"Yes," the twins chorused. "The second term testing was like..." One of them contemplated the chess box. "It was like just having an extra pair of senses. Maybe being just a little tuned into another person's radio channel."

That was a good analogy, Raleigh decided.

"Full drift?" the Gages went on. "You will be in each other's heads. Memories in full 3D, Technicolor - you've heard about chasing the rabbit?" Yancy and Raleigh nodded. "Be warned - it'll happen, and not just your own rabbits either. Memories you share, you'll suddenly remember from the other guy's perspective. It's really hard at first not to just walk into those memories you don't recognize. Or the ones you do that are intense."

"Bad intense or good intense?" asked Raleigh.

"Both." One of the twins pointed his thumb at the other. "Bruce was in a car accident when we were in high school." Okay, so that was Trevin on the left, Bruce on the right. "I was in the car behind him - on our way home from a game - when some drunk fucker T-boned him. Almost killed him and his girlfriend. It took us four tries to stop chasing that rabbit. We overcompensated for awhile and chased some of the good ones, parties, vacations, that kind of thing."

"So how do you... avoid either?" Yancy mused.

"The drift is silence. Floating. I don't know who gave it the name, but it's a good metaphor for how it's supposed to feel. You have to let the images and the senses wash by and not react to them. Don't mistake us, guys; it's hard, at first. And, well..." Bruce and Trevin exchanged a conspiratorial, somewhat-sheepish grin and leaned forward, lowering their voices. "You have to learn to not judge."

"Ohh, boy." Yancy buried his face in his arms, and Raleigh felt himself turning red. "I think we get what you're saying."

"We've had candidates who were in the same compatibility range as you - really high - at the end of Term Two, only to scrub out in Term Three because they just couldn't take the weirdness." Trevin glanced around to make sure they weren't in earshot of anyone. "The human imagination can do fucked-up things. If you want to be Rangers, you just have to accept that and not think it makes you some kind of unnatural pervert - or your partner."

Now Raleigh and Yancy were both scarlet-faced, and the twins were starting to blush too. "So you mean it's not just like... walking in on someone?" Raleigh said slowly, barely above a mutter. That was how he'd pictured it, how he'd framed the sensations and flickers of recall that he'd gotten from Yancy so far - just let himself cringe and quickly looking the other way.

The twins shook their heads. "Way more than that."

Holy shit. Raleigh couldn't look at Yancy anymore. This sure was taking a lot of the wind out of their sails anticipating what would follow after making the second cut.

"We're not trying to rain on the parade, you know. On the contrary, I think you know everyone's got some high hopes for you two. There's still a lot about the drift that even the doctor who invented it doesn't know. The more prepared the candidates can be, the better chance you'll succeed."

He heard Yancy take a slow, deep breath. "We appreciate it, believe me. Thanks. How, uh..." Raleigh dared a quick glance to meet his eyes, then they both quickly looked at the twins again. "How do you... cope with it? The weird stuff?"

Both twins went a little redder. "You can't recoil, or try to pretend it doesn't happen. Trying to cover it up is the worst thing you can do for anything in the headspace - it damages the handshake. You just have to..." Bruce put a fingertip on his nose, then drew it out like a line. "Refocus on what you're trying to do. Don't panic. The only person who can possibly know what's in your head is your partner, and you have to trust that your partner won't judge. That you understand it's not that there's something wrong with either of you, that your minds go weird places sometimes. Believe us on this one point: it happens to everybody who drifts, okay? Everybody. This isn't a conversation we'd have with anyone who wasn't about to go through it."

Raleigh nodded. The twins exchanged a look, then smiled and sat back. "We'll let you finish your game," said Trevin, even though they all knew that no way would the Beckets be interested in chess after that conversation. "Good luck this afternoon. You guys are promising."

With that, they walked away.

There were thirty minutes left until they had to be back in the lab to discuss their final results. Yancy got up and got a couple of bottles of water, then handed one to him. "What do you think?" Raleigh mumbled once he could talk.

"It, uh... sounds like a bit more than we imagined, but..." Yancy stared at his bottle, swirling it as if it was a fine wine or contained the secrets of the universe. "I think... we'd be stupid to back out now. Without even trying." He took another deep breath, then chugged half his bottle. "We should see it through as far as we can."

"Yeah." Agreeing with Yancy tended to come to Raleigh automatically, but now his brother looked at him, as if he was hoping for something a little firmer. So Raleigh nodded and took a gulp of his own, relishing its coldness. "I know when... when we started, it was just a whim. A bet, we weren't that serious. I wouldn't have cared if we'd scrubbed out with everybody else - most of 'em do." Yancy nodded. "But it'd be... kind of embarrassing to blow it now just because we got scared."

"Right." Yancy held up his bottle with a weak grin, and they "toasted" and felt the tension starting to fade. "We see it through. Far as we can get, so either way, we hold our heads up."

"Cheers." Grinning came more easily to Raleigh then too, and they even got enough appetite back to buy a sandwich, though they had to eat it in a hurry.

When they got to the lab, Dr. Lightcap informed them that Marshall Pentecost had been delayed by a priority call, but she had already called several of the pairs out of the room. Raleigh did a quick mental assessment of the pairs that remained: the Hassans, who had the second-highest percentage, Kennedy and Steffie, who were third, and Brian and Janet, who were fifth but had shown drastic improvement since their first drift. Four pairs.

He fidgeted, then after awhile he started pacing, until Yance muttered, "Sit down, Rals!" He supposed he was acting like a kid, but he felt like the nervous energy was going to make him explode.

After an interminable, silent wait, Dr. Lightcap came back in with Marshall Pentecost. "Ladies and gentlemen, the eight of you have been approved to advance to the final phase of training."

There was a low, intense intake of breath from - Raleigh was pretty sure - everyone in the room, and he was proud of himself for not bouncing or grinning like an ass, though he did smile. From the corner of his eye, he could see most of the others smiling. Not Yancy; he was imitating Pentecost's so-professional detachment.

Pentecost went on, "The third term will begin seven days from tomorrow. You are all granted leave to depart the premises and do whatever you wish. I advise you to make the most of this rest period; you will need it. Ranger Readiness training is no less strenuous than the first two terms of this Academy, and in many ways, it is even more mentally demanding. However, I also caution you that as officers of the PPDC, your behavior continues to reflect on your readiness, and will be taken into account."

Raleigh supposed it would be naturally of some people - especially guys - to go on a crazed drinking and celebrating binge and brag to the world. But at the moment, all he wanted to do was sleep for the whole seven days. Well, maybe turn a few cartwheels, scream at the sky from the top of Mount McKinley, but other than that, sleep. Take a page from Yancy's book of contentment and stay in bed all day. Maybe some yoga.

He had to force himself to pay attention to their instructions for what to do when they returned, and the instruction packet shook in his hands as they were handed out. To his amusement (and relief) he wasn't the only one acting a little shaky, though Yancy was being Joe Cool, as usual.

With a congratulations from Dr. Lightcap, they were dismissed. And Raleigh jumped when they came out of the lab doors to an explosion of applause and found almost the entire class waiting for them.

At the front of the crowd was Tendo, whistling with two fingers in his mouth. It put a little damper on Raleigh's elation to see Chloe and Christian among them along with the other rejected pair. They were all mustering smiles and applauding hard, but especially in Chloe's case, Raleigh could see the redness in her eyes.

Yancy took the lead there and pushed through the crowd and held out his arms. She fell into them willingly, and Raleigh followed to put one arm around Christian's shoulders and another around Shan's. "I'm sorry, Chlo," said Yance.

"It's okay, it's okay," she chanted, as if to herself as well as them. "We're okay. We kinda knew it was coming."

"You are all amazing," Cady Spencer told them firmly. "Out of three thousand applicants for this term, you made it to the top twelve. Be proud of yourselves!"

"We are proud," Bao agreed, straightening next to Shan. "We are going back home to finish school, but then we will apply for support crew placement. Jaeger Engineering has offered us a tuition grant."

That sparked another round of applause as Chloe and Christian nodded as well. "After all, it takes how many support crew just to get one Jaeger launch ready?" asked Yancy.

"Six hundred thirty-nine," said Chloe immediately. "And that's not counting the people who design and build the things."

"Thus speaketh the accountant," Christian chuckled. "She's already got the Logistics Department sniffing her out. I'm not sure what they'll do with a singer, but I figure they've got an opening for a janitor or something somewhere."

There were laughs and snorts, and Yancy playfully punched him. "Have some faith in yourself, Mister! You got skills!"

"What about you finalists? You going home?" Tendo pointed at Yancy and Raleigh. "You two can't get out of it, you don't even need to travel that far."

"Ooh, we need to see if we can get a flight or a train," exclaimed Kennedy to Steffie.

The Hassan sisters shrugged and looked at Indra. "Going all the way back to Australia would be difficult, but we thought we would take a trip somewhere. Is it too late to see the leaves changing?"

"Probably, unless you go a long way south," Raleigh admitted.

"You could come with us," Stephanie suggested. "The flight time to Seattle isn't that long, and there are some fun things to do."

"We'll see if there's something that'll get us to Panama and back in time," said Brian, linking arms with Janet. "If not, we'll just wait until the holidays."

Just then, Marshall Pentecost came out of the lab. "Beckets. I need to speak with you."

Raleigh exchanged a puzzled look with Yancy, but they followed him back into the lab. Pentecost led them through the meeting room to a smaller office and closed the door. Raleigh felt his skin starting to prickle, a sense of foreboding creeping over the excitement of the day's events.

"Have a seat."

They sat, and the tingling intensified along with his stomach starting to churn. He couldn't help casting a quick glance at his brother, but Yancy was stony-faced, like he too was bracing himself for a sudden change in the wind.

Pentecost looked... reluctant? He sat down behind the desk and said, "To begin with, let me also congratulate you, gentlemen. As you know by now, your test results are extremely promising. However, I received a call for this afternoon regarding a personal matter, and I'm afraid I have bad news."

Raleigh's stomach dropped under his chair with a splash. His skin burned, his fingers tightened on the arms of the seat, and he knew.

"Your mother passed away this morning."

For an embarrassingly long time, he sat completely rigid. His mind spun. Mom?

She'd been sick for so long. They'd suspected it was cancer even before K-Day. In and out of the hospital for the past three years, but she'd never quit smoking. One of the last times he and Jazmine had really felt close was six weeks after K-Day, when Jazmine had lost it and started screaming and crying at Mom, begging and demanding that she quit. Raleigh had broken down too, and Dad had ordered them both out of the house and to stop being brats. Yancy had been inside for awhile longer, talking to her, but they'd heard Mom start shouting again. Then Yance had come out and put an arm around each of them as they sat under the trees, and Raleigh and Jazmine had both been crying.

They had known for a long time it would end this way. The doctors had thrown up their hands; what could they do when she wouldn't quit?! She'd encouraged Yancy's notion that he and Raleigh try for the Academy, applauded happily when they showed her the acceptance letters.

She'd been in the hospital again when they went home for the break after making the first cut. She'd looked so thin with the oxygen machine next to her in that bed, but she'd been dismissive when Yancy tried to talk to her about how she was doing.

She'd told them not to worry, she'd be fine, not to defer returning to training. But it hadn't seemed... that bad.

Had it?

Was he supposed to cry now? Was he supposed to want to? Not want to?

He shouldn't cry at the Academy, let alone in front of the C.O., but... she was his mom. His mom was dead, and he just felt... numb and tingly, like he'd pinched every nerve in his body.

Over the buzzing in his ears, he heard Yancy say steadily, "Thank you for telling us, sir."

Pentecost was composed as ever, but his eyes were gentle. In a weird way, his level voice was comforting, like a pillar to brace against. "The final term will begin seven days from tomorrow, and it isn't possible to alter the schedule. However, if you wish to defer and try again next term, I can tell you from the analysts studies that it's very rare for drift compatibility to change radically even over time. Therefore, although you would have to repeat the first two terms in the spring, there are not likely to be any barriers to passing, and your chances of being at this same point in six months are good." He stood up. "You'll want to discuss it. That's why I had this meeting here. I will step out now."

"Thank you, sir," Raleigh mumbled automatically. Yancy stood up as Pentecost did, and Raleigh hurriedly copied him, though he felt clumsy and disconnected as they waited for the door to close again.

He looked at his brother, then quickly looked away. Yancy was going for the stiff upper lip approach, and he was right; here, they had to keep it together. But our mom's dead... gone... whispered a confused, helpless voice in the back of his mind.

"We..." Yancy cleared his throat. "We shouldn't back out now. It's... she'd tell us not to give up. She'd tell us... be strong."

She never got to find out we made the second cut, Raleigh thought dully. Aloud, he murmured, "Okay." You know what to do. You always do. Good. I can't think.

"Okay. Let's just get home, and we'll do... whatever needs doing." Yancy took a deep breath and gave Raleigh a quick pat on the shoulder. "Let's just keep a grip on it 'till we're home."

"Yeah." It took several deep breaths for Raleigh, but he managed to look Yancy in the eye again. Yancy nodded encouragingly. "Right. Okay, let's go. We need to tell - someone we'll be back."

They walked quickly and robotically out down the hall to see Marshall Pentecost talking with Dr. Lightcap outside her office. "We're staying on, sir," said Yancy. Raleigh made himself nod. Just don't think, don't feel, not until we're home. Focus.

Pentecost nodded briskly, but Dr. Lightcap's sad, pained eyes burned at Raleigh, and he wanted to flinch away from her. "You have the Academy's condolences, gentlemen. We will see you next week."

"Thank you, sir." Dr. Lightcap looked like she might say something, but Pentecost moved just a little in front of her, and nodded his dismissal. Raleigh wondered how Yancy could be so calm. He felt like he was drowning.

It only got worse when they found the whole damn class was waiting, looking frantic. Oh shit oh shit I can't - Raleigh stopped and stepped to the side, hoping it wasn't so obvious he was hiding behind Yancy as Tendo blurted, " What's going on, guys? They cannot have changed their minds!"

Yancy quickly raised his hands. "No, no, we're still in. Sorry, guys, we have to go, it's - we've had a death in the family, that's what he was telling us."

"Ohh!" The hisses and little cries of dismay from some of the girls were horrible. Embarrassing, awkward, and it felt like they were wrapping something tight around his neck.

Yancy, thank god, kept the momentum up. "Yeah, it's - thanks, everyone, but we have to go. We're staying, we'll be back in a week, we just need to get home. C'mon," he beckoned to Raleigh, and Raleigh hurried after him trying not to look around as the group parted around them.

"Okay, no problem!"

"I'm so sorry, guys!"

"We'll be thinking of you!"

Raleigh wanted to cover his ears, but he just made himself stay straight and walked along with Yancy as fast as he could. It was a relief that once they were in their room, Yancy was in no less of a rush than he was, his expression more pinched as if he too was having trouble holding it all in. "Just 'till we get home," Yancy kept muttering. "We just have to keep it in until we're home, then we can figure it all out. Let's just get our stuff and get home."

Raleigh wondered who he was talking to, but it didn't really matter; the litany wasn't a bad one to say or hear. They shoveled necessities into their duffels and stumbled over each other and were fumbling around for the ferry schedule when a knock on the door made them both jump a mile. "Beckets?"

Yancy gave Raleigh a weak, dazed grin and straightened to answer it. "Sir?"

One of the MPs was at the door. "There's a personnel plane leaving for Anchorage in an hour. Marshall Pentecost asked me to tell you that you're authorized to take it."

It was too much information to process. Raleigh just blinked, and Yancy glanced at the timetable in his head, then put it on his bunk. "Thank you, sir. We'll do that." Once the door closed again, he turned and started to reach for Raleigh, then caught himself and just gestured for them to go.

They kept their heads down and made no more eye contact than absolutely necessary going to the airstrip, and said nothing but mumbled courtesies on the short flight from Kodiak to Anchorage. Raleigh kept his eyes down and avoided even looking out the window.

Rather than call Dad or Jazmine from the airport, they took a cab straight to the house. Pulling up to the curb, Raleigh shuffled out of the car and stared at the porch, at Jazmine at the window... and felt an intense urge to leap back into the cab. Yancy had to go around him to get their duffels and slung both over one shoulder so he could tug Raleigh along.

Jazmine disappeared from the window and opened the door for them. Yancy dropped their duffels next to it and shut it behind them, and the three of them stared at each other. Raleigh wondered dizzily if this was what it felt like seeing a kaiju right over your head.

Mom is dead. We're home. Now what?

Yancy held out an arm to Jazmine, and she stepped towards him like a wind-up toy. Once her face was in Yancy's shirt, Raleigh heard her start to cry. Yancy looked over the top of her head at him and held out his other arm. Raleigh went too, putting his arms around them both and feeling Yancy's around himself. He didn't cry... at least he didn't think he did.

Yancy didn't.

To be continued...

Coming Soon: One day Raleigh would tell Mako Mori that "In combat, you make decisions, and you have to live with the consequences," but that's true of life even outside combat. As they prepare for their mother's funeral, the Becket brothers have a decision to make that pits their future in the Jaeger Program against the future of what remains of their family in Chapter Six: The Choices You Live With.

PLEASE remember to review!

Original Character Guide

Christian and Chloe Warner - African-Americans from Atlanta, Georgia, ages 25 and 23, half-siblings from a blended family.

Devi and Susanti Hassan - first-generation daughters of Indonesian immigrants to Australia, ages 26 and 24.

Indra Hassan - Devi and Susanti's cousin, born in Jakarta, Indonesia, age 37.

Bao Wang and Shan Thou - first cousins, Chinese nationals from Bejing, early 20s, put off enrolling in technical school to attempt the Jaeger Academy.

Brian Patrick and Janet McDonald - first cousins, Irish nationals, mid-20s. Their parents were NATO aid workers who went to San Francisco after K-Day. Brian's father and Janet's mother both died of exposure to Kaiju Blue toxin, leading the cousins to enlist in the PPDC.

Familiar Faces

Kennedy LaRue and Stephanie Lanphier - childhood friends from Seattle, age 18, high school athletes and cheerleaders who opted to try the Jaeger Academy after their college plans were derailed by the war. (If you don't know more than that, well, wait and see!)

Dr. Caitlin Lightcap - age 30ish, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, inventor of the pons neural bridge and co-pilot of Brawler Yukon, the first Jaeger, until its destruction.