AN: Prepare for feels. Are you ready? I don't think you are. Good luck, brave soul.
Nah sorry I don't own CM I wish I did but hey we can't always get what we want, now can we?
Each of the Lamontagne-Jareaus were nervous, even Henry could tell something wasn't exactly right. Isabel flipped through an old magazine, sitting in JJ's lap. A nurse walked into the waiting room,
"Lamontagne, Isabel", she called.
They got up, smiled and said short greetings to her, and walked back to an exam room. They all sat in nervous silence as they waited for Dr. Robins, wondering what kind of news they would be getting. It seemed as though ages passed before she finally stepped in. Her greetings were quick and her smile wasn't as bright. She sat down and encouraged everyone else to do so.
"Ok, guys, we put Isabel's blood through many tests, and we did find a problem, and I'd rather just say it now to clear the air. See, there is a special kind of white blood cell, which is in charge of fighting off infections, however when too many are made, it can cause the body to attack itself. This is all occurring in the blood, which of course flows through the whole body, and this is why Isabel is getting bruises all over her body." She stopped, and everything sunk into JJ's mind.
White blood cells attacking the body, unexplainable bruising and bleeding, fatigue…
"So," JJ began to ask, "are you saying that Isabel has-"
"Leukemia, yes." Dr. Robins finished for her. "It's not a big threat right now because it's early, stage two. Isabel should be alright, with the right treatment she'll make a full recovery, and there are steps we can take throughout her life so it never comes back."
JJ felt sick to her stomach, and the pain worsened when Will nervously asked, "How...how do we treat it?"
Dr. Robins cleared her throat,
"Chemotherapy is going to be the majority of it, and we need to admit her to the pediatric cancer wing as soon as possible, which would be today. She'll also receive blood transfusions, and possibly a bone marrow transplant if the condition worsens and spreads, but we don't need to worry about that right now. I also want you to keep taking the iron, it'll really improve your blood quality and you'll feel better as well."
Her voice was calm, and it was clear that she was speaking directly to Isabel during the last part. They all nodded in understanding, and JJ asked,
"So, it's...it's cancer, right?"
Dr. Robins nodded, "Any questions, maybe about chemotherapy?"
JJ's heart sunk, and tears filled her eyes as she pulled Isabel close to her. Will's voice cracked as he asked,
"What exactly happens with chemo, how will it affect her?"
Dr. Robins looked at him with solemn eyes,
"Every few weeks she'll have a set of chemicals injected into her body, in a process similar to a blood transfusion. The chemicals will balance the levels of everything in her blood. Side effects, well, her hair will fall out, she'll be nauseous, tired, and you may notice swelling right above her collarbone. It's a long process, and there will be bad days and good days. You just need to keep hoping, and never stop fighting."
JJ bowed her head and let tears stream down as the thought of her daughter living in a hospital creeped into her mind.
"Anything else?" She numbly said in a voice just above a whisper.
Dr. Robins shook her head lightly,
"Nope, just need to get her admittance ready, then we'll take you there."
They said their thanks but stayed in the room to let everything sink in. Will and JJ took Isabel into a hug, holding her tightly. Scared, Isabel let herself cry into Will's shoulder. Henry seemed fairly indifferent, just confused. They stayed like this for several minutes, before finally heading to the front. JJ, shaking the whole time, kept a firm grasp of Isabel's hand. As JJ and Will set up her admittance, Isabel zoned out, then was interrupted by Henry gently tapping her hand. She looked down at him, and asked, "Hey, what's up bud?"
He looked at her shyly,
"Bell, what's wrong? Are you okay?"
Isabel looked into his eyes for a moment,
"Well, the doctor says there's something wrong with my blood, so I need special medicine to take care of it." She answered, pointing at the veins on his forearm so he knew.
He simply stared at her ivory skin, nodded, and, without warning, pulled her down by wrapping his little hands behind her neck, and squeezed her tightly. Everything suddenly hit Isabel at once, and she was very, very scared.
Isabel sat biting her nails, her leg shaking so much it lifted her small hospital gown off her leg. JJ sat on the edge of the hospital bed, tears slowly flowing from her eyes as everything sunk in. They were in the pediatrics wing of Fort Belvoir Community Hospital, and the shock of what they'd just been told was taking its toll. Isabel looked out the door to see her dad and Henry at the reception desk, filling out paperwork. She had a million questions on her mind, and yet was too scared to ask half of them.
"Mommy?" She said softly, her voice trembling.
JJ looked at her with red rimmed eyes,
"Yes bunny?"
"Why do I have to stay here?" Bell asked, hardly being able to maintain eye contact with her mother.
"Oh baby," JJ sighed, "They need to do more tests, and you have to stay here so they can watch you." She moved closer to her Bell and brushed her jet-black hair away from her face so she could look into her eyes, "I'm spending the night tonight, but daddy and Henry have to go home. They'll stay here until tonight, okay?"
Isabel simply nodded, and climbed into JJ's lap, tears starting to form in her eyes. The, Dr. Robins, Will, Henry, and a nurse came in, the nurse closing the door behind them. Will sat down next to JJ and Isabel, and Henry sat at the foot of the bed. Dr. Robins looked at them,
"Alright guys, this is Dr. Artino, she'll be performing the next two tests."
Dr. Artino smiled at them. She was pretty, with long, chocolate brown hair, olive skin, and grey-green eyes. Dr. Robins continued,
"These tests are called 'bone marrow aspiration' and a 'spinal fluid aspiration'. What's going to happen is we are going to put Isabel under anesthesia, and we are going to take two needles; the first for the spinal fluid aspiration, the second for the bone marrow aspiration. With the spinal fluid aspiration, we are going to insert a needle into the spinal chord, and take a kind of fluid called 'cerebrospinal fluid'." As she spoke, she pointed to a poster of the spine on the wall, and gestured to the area of extraction, in the lower back. "With the bone marrow aspiration, the needle will go into what is called the 'iliac crest', and it is essentially the back of the pelvis. Both of these tests will help us learn what kind of leukemia you have, so we can begin the appropriate treatment Isabel needs as soon as possible. Any questions?"
"How long will it take?" JJ asked, her voice shaky.
"The actual procedure will take around half an hour, give or take ten minutes, it really depends on how quickly the fluid and the marrow flow. She'll be sore for awhile after, and she isn't going to want to be on her back. We'll have her lay on her side during the procedure, but she's going to have to be on her back when she wakes up, simply for safety reasons. Anything else?" Dr. Robins watched their faces as they absorbed the information. Suddenly, Isabel spoke up,
"W-will I feel anything?"
Dr. Robins saw the fear in her eyes,
"Not while it's happening, no. You'll be in a very deep sleep, and you won't remember anything. Ok sweetie?"
Isabel nodded, and looked down at her hands. Dr. Artino cleared her throat,
"Okay Isabel, sweetie, if you could come with me? Mr. and Mrs. Lamontagne, Dr. Robins will take you down to the waiting room."
JJ turned to her daughter, and pulled her close,
"It's gonna be ok, I promise. It'll be over before you know it, ok?" She whispered in her ear.
"Okay. I love you mommy." Isabel's voice was even shakier, and she had tears lightly flowing down her eyes.
JJ, Will, and Henry all gave her a hug and a kiss, then followed Dr. Robins down to the waiting room.
JJ sat hunched over with her head resting in her hands, praying for Isabel to be ok. She was in a state of numbness, and couldn't believe what was happening. Suddenly, Henry lightly bumped into her as he shifted position's in Will's lap, and she was shaken back to reality. Despite her current state, she still had responsibilities to take care of, one of which was to her team. She sat up and dug her black iPhone out of her purse, unlocked it, and pressed on the first contact in her address book.
"Hotchner."
"Hotch, it's JJ,"
"Hey JJ, what's going on?"
"Hotch it…it's Isabel. She's sick, we're at the hospital."
"JJ…"
"She uh, she has blood problems…she has l-leukemia."
"…JJ, I'm so sorry."
JJ began to cry uncontrollably, "I can't come in for a little bit"
"Of course. Take your time. Give Will and Isabel my good wishes, you're in my thoughts."
"Thanks, Hotch."
"It's fine. Go on, be there for her, and get some rest."
JJ wiped the tears from her face as she hung up, and soon enough Dr. Artino was standing in front of her, with a look of relief on her face,
"She did very well, and the procedure went quicker than we thought. You can see her now, but just a warning, she's still very drowsy, and we don't want to push it. Follow me."
They stood up and followed closely behind Dr. Artino. They stepped into the room to find Dr. Robins helping Isabel turn onto her side to relieve the pressure off her sore back.
"Hey, Isabel, look. Your mom and dad and Henry are here." Dr. Robins spoke softly, and rubbed between Isabel's shoulder blades as she did.
Isabel looked at them with tired eyes, which lit up when she gave a small smile. They walked over to the bed and watched as Dr. Robins finished setting up Isabel's IV fluids and helped her get comfortable. When she was done, she looked at JJ,
"Mrs. Lamontagne, since you're spending the night with her tonight, there's some things you should know." She walked over to JJ, "First, she needs her rest. Make sure she sleeps the whole night tonight as best she can. Second, everyone reacts to anesthesia differently. She may get sick to her stomach, she may feel itchy in some places, especially around where she was stuck with the needles, and at the site of her IV. If she does feel itchy, do not let her scratch. Finally, she's scared. Comfort her as best you can. A nurse will be in shortly for bed check. Understand?"
JJ nodded as she took in all the information, and made a mental note to watch for side effects. Dr. Robins and Dr. Artino left the room, quietly shutting the door behind them. The Lamontagnes let a comfortable silence exist as they settled in. Henry seemed intimidated by all the posters and equipment in the room, while Will was watching Isabel slowly come back to full consciousness. JJ was letting her mind wander off, and she thought about anything that would help her get away from her reality.
Will broke the silence,
"Hi princess, how are you?"
Isabel's big eyes met his,
"Hi daddy. My back hurts."
JJ's heart broke as she heard the pain in her daughter's voice, she wanted to do something, anything, to make it go away. Will comforted her and they carried on as JJ sat on the bed and let Henry crawl into her lap. She listened to Will and Isabel, letting the flow of their soft conversation calm her down. When Henry eventually fell asleep, she rubbed his back in small circles, just like she did when he was a baby. It was comforting for her to feel his warm breath on her neck, as it brought back memories of when Isabel was this small. JJ would give anything for her to be able to be holding both her babies at home this very moment, but she knew that couldn't happen for awhile.
Their peace was disturbed by a light knock on the door. Will called out,
"Come in."
A short, dark-haired and dark-skinned nurse with a big smile walked in.
"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Lamontagne, I'm Sarah Long, and you must be Isabel!"
She walked up to Isabel and stretched out her hand. Isabel took it lightly, nodding her head as she did so.
"How are you sweetie?" Nurse Long asked.
"I'm ok, I'm tired and my back is sore." Isabel looked into Nurse Long's deep brown eyes with a sense of comfort.
"Well as soon as you go to sleep, the sooner you'll wake up, and you won't be tired and you won't be as sore anymore, okay?" Nurse Long spoke with kindness and compassion.
She then turned to Will,
"Mr. Lamontagne, I'm sorry, but you and your son need to leave."
Will nodded, carefully took Henry from JJ's arms, and turned to Isabel,
"I love you princess, and I'll see you in the morning." He leaned down and pressed a kiss onto her forehead, and as he did Isabel simply smiled at him.
"Goodnight daddy, I love you."
"I love you too sweetheart, goodnight."
With that, he gave JJ a quick kiss, and left, their son fast asleep on his shoulder.
Nurse Long did a quick once-over of Isabel's vitals, told her and JJ goodnight, and left.
JJ sighed and looked at her little girl,
"Alright Bell, you ready for sleep?" She asked softly, watching her daughter's eyelids begin to droop.
Isabel nodded and yawned. JJ stood up, turned off the light, then walked back over to the bed. She took off her shoes, put her hair in a loose ponytail, and got in under the covers next to her daughter. She turned to Isabel and began stroking her hair,
"You know, I used to hold you just like I was holding Henry earlier, except you would always hold a little piece of my hair."
Isabel turned to JJ, sat up a little, and pressed a kiss to her cheek. She then turned to JJ and buried her face in her chest, closed her eyes, and as her breathing slowed, JJ began to hum her favorite lullaby, "Hush Little Baby, Don't Say a Word". JJ watched her daughter fall into a deep sleep, and when she was sure she was asleep, she leaned down, whispered in her ear,
"Goodnight bunny rabbit, I love you so much."
Pressed a kiss to her temple, and leaned back, letting the sound of her daughter's breaths lull her into her own world of dreams.
AN: SO? DID YOU MAKE IT? I HOPE YOU DID