Author's Notes: The song that the Tunaris parody is My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark by Fall Out Boy, and Hall of Fame is by The Script and Will I Am. No copyright infringement is intended! The gratuitous geek culture reference that Raleigh and Yancy parody during the toasts is from the sci-fi movie Serenity.
Canon Note: In the movie, Marshall Pentecost referred to a Jaeger called Tango Tasmania, but Travis Beacham has since told us that since Jaeger call signs are not used more than once, that was not a correct Jaeger name (since it would've caused confusion with Coyote Tango.) So for purposes of this story, she is called Talon Tasmania, but nicknamed "Tango" because she was the first Jaeger whose pilots made her dance. Her pilots are OCs: Maria Lopez and Miguel Blanco, Argentine Air Force pilots who achieved drift compatibility through dancing. If anyone is interested, I'll post some tidbits to my Tumblr on my fanon details for the original Jaegers and/or their original pilots. Please let me know!
Chapter Thirteen: New Everything
PPDC Proving Grounds and Assembly Building, Kodiak Island, Alaska…
December 31, 2016…
At Kodiak Island, everyone was getting their new living assignments in the personnel quarters. A few graduates of Class 2016-B were already being shuffled over to the new Shatterdome next to Elmendorf Air Force Base in Anchorage on the mainland. All the newly-minted Rangers were now residents of personnel housing that backed up to the Academy, the Proving Grounds, and the Assembly Buildings.
Everyone came sniffing around the Rangers' quarters, wanting to see if they were any bigger or better than what the rest of the population had. (They weren't.)
"Look at it. You guys are gonna be rock stars, and you still have bunk beds," huffed Tendo.
"You think even the married Rangers have bunk beds? Toss you for the bottom," said Raleigh, holding out a quarter.
"Tails," said Yancy. It landed heads-up, and he grumbled, "Figures."
"Hey, you get up a lot less than I do!" Raleigh protested. Sometimes he could swear that Yance insisted on flipping a coin because he didn't want to concede that on any given day, Raleigh had more energy than he did.
Yancy was among those who groaned the loudest when they saw how early even regular PPDC personnel had to get up. "If we have to keep on suffering through drills and workouts, so do you, Golden Boys," Tendo informed them.
So the routine wasn't all that different from the Academy. They were still up at the crack of dawn for mandatory exercise, then the Rangers had Jaeger Bushido drills. Everyone split up for their various trainings and exercises after that, and got together in the mess halls for lunch to trade stories and gossip about what was going on.
Marshall Gagnon was a little more laid back than Pentecost - a very little. "Do not make the mistake of thinking the cat's away," he told them. "I still follow the Code of Conduct, and expect you to adhere to it no less than you did under my predecessors. Outside of that, you can unwind as you see fit, but don't think you won't be called on the carpet for any behavior that casts this facility and its personnel in a bad light."
Even Marshall Pentecost probably wouldn't have found fault with how Raleigh and Yancy were spending most of their free time: wandering around Bay 04 of the Assembly Building looking for new vantage points on Gipsy Danger. The engineer doing most of the work on their conn-pod, Priya Katwal, was a NASA veteran in her fifties who'd helped build living modules on the International Space Station. She thought their lovesick ogling of her creation was cute. "There is nothing more adorable than googly-eyed Rangers," she snickered when her crew found Raleigh and Yancy on a catwalk above the pod.
Busted, they could only grin sheepishly. "I know, if she were a girl, we'd be stalking her," Raleigh admitted. "You can tell us to get lost if we're in the way." They'd already been warned by the Gages and the Tunaris: stay on the techs' good side!
"Oh, we will, if you're in the way, but you're not. You can admire her." She even took them on a tour of the conn-pod-in-progress. "Rangers are a lot like astronauts," she told them. "Some of them are great to work with, some are a pain in the ass. So much of this stuff has to be custom-tailored for you guys. I'm glad you're not divas."
"To be fair, most of you aren't," added one of her assistants. "The Gages and the Tunaris are fun. A lot of the Chinese and Russians are kind of... all business, but they're polite. There are a few jerks."
"Hansen," someone muttered, and a few elbows were thrown.
"Well, I try to be on good terms with the people building our Jaeger," Yancy said, and jerked his thumb at Raleigh. "And if he's ever a brat, just smack him one - you have permission."
"Nice!" There were hoots of approval as Raleigh gave Yancy his best stink-eye.
The D'onofrios gave everyone a heads-up that Raleigh's birthday party had almost been broken up by Pentecost... but accepted the general invitation for a New Year's Eve party for everyone who was off-duty in Coyote's Tango's repair bay in the Assembly Building.
"Gagnon's not as strict as Pentecost. As long as nobody gets wasted or posts YouTube videos of people getting naked, we're okay," the Gages concluded.
"Damn, that means the strip poker tourney is off," complained the Tunaris.
"You can't possibly top Raleigh's birthday party," Stephanie Lanphier told Vic and Gunnar as they were hauling music equipment.
"Challenge accepted, babe!"
They had a bitch of a time selling the Gages on their entertainment plan. Bruce and Trevin had great senses of humor that had only improved with drifting, but every now and then their old military sensibilities about dignity popped up.
"Come on! You guys have both sung karaoke before, I've seen you! You can both carry a tune, and it'll be better if it's all Rangers!" Vic and Gunnar insisted.
"But not in front of that many people! Make the Becket boys do it!"
"They're not initiated yet."
"Neither are you!"
They were at a stalemate until the day of the party. Then, word got around that Lightcap was in a funk after an argument with Schoenfeld.
The Corps gossip mobile roared to life. "She got on him about that cute little genius from 2016-B," someone reported. "Lea Franklin. Girl finally signed on to Engineering, and Lightcap got suspicious."
"Holy shit! Is she even legal?"
"No, she ain't, and you know Schoenfeld's reputation. They say he and Lightcap had a thing way back when she was a grad student, and everyone knows about them when they were building Brawler."
"But Lightcap would've been legal then."
"Yeah, but she got worried. And, man, Schoenfeld had a hernia! Techs could hear him yelling with all the speakers off. Something about 'yes, I might have been a jackass, but I'm not a pervert.' Then D'onofrio got in there and started yelling at him, and the MPs were banging on the door before anyone got hit. Last I heard, Marshall Gagnon was having a chat with Schoenfeld."
"Huh. Schoenfeld's kind of sleazy, but I didn't think he was that sleazy."
When the gossip got around to the Beckets, Yancy bristled. "It won't suddenly become un-sleazy the minute she turns eighteen. I hadn't thought about that, but if that's what he's after, I hope somebody sets him straight."
Vic and Gunnar had no doubt that Yancy was fully prepared to volunteer for that job if needed. Most of his protective instinct was directed at baby bro, but he rarely hesitated to defend anyone else he thought needed it. Then again, half the population of the Academy was protective of Little Lea Franklin.
With Lightcap all tense and frustrated, Vic and Gunnar bullied Bruce and Trevin into their super-secret plan as a means of cheering up the First Lady of the Jaeger Program. "If we end up on YouTube, I will kill you," Bruce informed them.
"No cameras allowed," Gunnar promised. "And hey, nobody outside the Program would understand this anyway."
"Okay, good point."
And so it was that the pilots of two Mark I Jaegers got up in front of a mob of PPDC personnel and sang karaoke to Fall Out Boy, with their own special twist on it "in honor of the shieldmaiden, the mother of mechs, the goddess of Jaegers!" pouring on the flattery until everyone was cheering and Lightcap was beet red and giggling hysterically into D'onofrio's shirt.
Their carefully-composed parody lyrics got whoops and hoots, but the whole place went nuts and screamed like preteens at a boyband concert with the first chorus:
My Pons knows what you did in the daaaaark!
Lightcap would've hit the floor if D'onofrio hadn't caught her, and quite a few other people did simply collapse, shrieking with laughter. Next to them, all the newbie Rangers were in a pile, but managed to untangle themselves for the next chorus and roared out the lyrics with gusto:
So light 'em up, up, up!
Light 'em up, up, up!
Light 'em up, up, up!
On firrreee!
Deafened by the frenzied ovation at the end, Vic lowered his microphone and leaned toward the twins. "Told you!"
"Yeah, yeah!"
Sure, Bruce and Trevin would toss their Army Ranger dignity out the window anytime if it'd make Caitlin Lightcap scream like that. The tackle-hug they all got as the song ended was just a bonus. "Tokyo can't have you!" she yelled in Vic and Gunnar's ears over the noise of their still-cheering audience. "You have to stay!"
"Awww!"
It wasn't the last moment like that on New Year's Eve 2016. There were only a few bottles of cheap sparkling wine to pass around, so most of them were toasting with soda and water. People came and went with the duty shifts, and Tendo Choi swore up and down he saw Gagnon peeking through the side exit at one point. Raleigh Becket and Stephanie Lanphier ran around putting makeup on anyone who fell asleep - including Yancy - as midnight got closer, and they watched the ball drop on the East Coast.
"It's midnight in the land of my people!" Vic announced.
"Where, Bolivia?"
"Well, that too, but I meant New York."
Vic and Gunnar defended their title of Kodiak Island Dance Dance Revolution champions, though Stephanie and Kennedy gave them a run for the money. There were several more Jaeger-fied sing-alongs, and they all whooped and cheered when they saw Talon Tasmania on TV, dancing in front of a throng outside the Lima Shatterdome.
"I'd love to be a fly on the wall in Pentecost's office right now!" laughed Gunnar.
"Like the Tasmanian devils give a shit. They were the first dancing Jaeger," said Bruce proudly.
Suze and Devi Hassan were watching the enormous Mark I's hip-swiveling in fascination. "How the hell did they get her to do that?!"
"Serious maneuverability, my girls - that's why her nickname is Tango," Gunnar told them. "Australia and New Zealand didn't care if their pilots were local after Scissure; legend has it they actually were competitive dancers in Argentina. Dunno if it's true."
"Half-true," said Lightcap, slipping through the crowd on D'onofrio's arm to watch the show in Lima. "Maria and Miguel were another pair - like you two," she pointed at Vic and Gunnar, "who really got the compatibility by dancing. They dance before they can walk in Argentina."
"Are they married now?" asked Trevin. "I know they got engaged a few months back."
"Yep. Right after Christmas. Here's to the newlyweds!" That called for another spoonful of pseudo-champagne, they all decided, and a general announcement that everyone happily went along with.
"To Miguel Blanco and Maria Lopez-Blanco of Talon Tasmania, still the best dancing Jaeger jockeys in the world, and many years of wedded kaiju-ass-kicking bliss!"
"CHEERS!"
They were out of food by ten p.m., so people broke into their treasured personal stashes of goodies from the holidays – but invented bizarre ways for the partygoers to earn their treats. Raleigh Becket and Antwan Ferrier were dolling out hard candies from Raleigh's supply, involving an elaborate set of maneuvers that all had to be executed with the candy balanced on your nose.
The Engineers confiscated the table tennis equipment – twice – with the admonition that projectiles were not allowed in a Jaeger Bay. Bruce and Trevin got enough scruples to halt the game of Chicken (Tendo and Cady with Stephanie and Kennedy on their respective shoulders) before someone cracked their skull on the concrete floor.
"Save it for the Kwoon. We'll have the next party there on the mats."
"Aw, mannn!"
Vic and Gunnar gleefully hauled their newly-minted Rangers up in front of the crowd for a mass introduction and toast. "Raise your glasses to the graduates of Class 2016-B, ladies and gentlemen! Our newest additions to the proud brotherhood of Rangers: Kennedy and Stephanie!" (Pointing at the Beckets.) "Devi and Susanti!" (Pointing at the cheerleaders.) "And Raleigh and Yancy!" (Pointing at the Hassans.)
Amid the hoots, they revised it. "Rocky and Bullwinkle! Thelma and Louise! Snoopy and the Red Baron!"
This time it was D'onofrio who hit the floor as the newbie Rangers groaned, and people yelled suggestions. "Beavis and Butt-head Becket!"
"HEY!"
"Ren LaRue and Stimpy Lanphier!"
"Sonny and Cher Hassan!"
"This is getting away from you," Devi informed them.
Raleigh grabbed the microphone and flourished his hand at Vic and Gunnar. "We'd like to thank the Academy, and our hosts: Lucy and Ethel!"
"WOOOO!"
A brawl ensued over the microphone. "Gimme that, punk!"
Bruce and Trevin wrestled their way in and confiscated it. "Okay, okay, we're taking over the show, let's have a big hand for our hosts, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern!"
"THEY'RE DEAD!" Everyone yelled back. Vic and Gunnar feigned outrage.
"And the pilots of the first Mark III: Team Testosterone… Fanty and Mingo!"
How fortunate that the Beckets were Huge Nerds. They didn't miss a beat. "I'm Fanty, he's Mingo!" Yancy announced.
"He's Fanty!" every nerd in the room yelled back.
"How do you know?"
"FANTY'S PRETTIER!"
"You walked right into that one, bro," Raleigh hooted.
"I meant to do that."
"Time for another song!" Vic yelled, getting the mic back from the twins.
"Gage out! You're on your own, Tunaris!" The twins ran for it, but Vic and Gunnar got a couple of the other guys to come sing back-up for them.
After going back and forth on the most obnoxious, sappy "inspiring" song that could be dedicated to the newbs, they settled on The Script and Will I Am.
Standin' in the hall of fame!
And the world's gonna know your name!
'Cause you burn with the brightest flame!
And the world's gonna know your name!
The newbies swayed arm-in-arm with the Gages on one side and the D'onofrios on the other, and half the partygoers were waving their cell phone lights in the air – no doubt this one would wind up on YouTube, but whatever. Once it was over, they adjourned to the local TV channel for the local-time countdown to midnight.
The Hassans, Kennedy, and Stephanie scrambled to put on lipstick, and at the announcement of the New Year, promptly christened Beckets, Gages, Tunaris, and D'onofrios with smooch marks. "Those girls are gonna fit in just fine," Gunnar remarked as the male non-Rangers started pushing and shoving for their turns.
Stephanie shared her lipstick with Lightcap, then the other women got in on the act, and all the guys were boasting over who got a kiss from who. "Best. Party. EVER!" roared one of the K-Science geeks, his face and even his glasses covered in lipstick as fireworks went off on television somewhere in downtown Anchorage.
"Our work here is done," said Vic.
It gradually wound down, as all good things must come to an end, even the best party ever. The music got quieter, though Tendo Choi commandeered the selection for almost an hour, during which time they had absolutely zero songs that were recorded later than 1990.
NBC was running a tribute to the Jaeger Program, "Humanity's Heroes" or some such. Along with the montages and inspiring music, there were sappy romantic pieces playing to images of all the pilot couples, including the Blancos at their recent wedding, the D'onofrios, the Kaidanovskys, Hedy Keres and Peter Lepp, and so on.
The couples in the crowd seized the opportunity to slow dance, as some of the more energetic souls finally started to run out of steam. People were saying their good-nights and stumbling off to bed when Vic and Gunnar found Yancy Becket sprawled against the wall, watching the dance floor with a lazy smile, and his little brother sound asleep on his shoulder.
"Kiddo finally crashing? I didn't think he ever slept!"
Yancy snorted, untroubled by the lip marks on his own face or Raleigh's. "Sugar high letdown. He burned through my entire Christmas present, and I swear he ate most of 'em himself."
Stephanie and Kennedy spotted them as they finished their dance and summoned the Hassan sisters. The women brandished their eyebrow pencils and began advancing like a quartet of gleeful Disney villains, but Yancy laughingly shook his head and waved them off.
"Come onnn, Yancy-kins, it's not like he doesn't draw stuff on you!" The girls pleaded and wheedled, but Protective Big Brother stood firm in the face of their pouts.
"We're calling it a night," D'onofrio informed them. "Happy New Year, everyone!"
"Same to you, Cap! G'night, Doc!" Lightcap was giggling and leaning on him as they stumbled out, and nobody'd had that much to drink.
Yancy grinned. "I stand corrected; Lightcap must've got into the candy bag too."
"Raleigh and Antwan are pushovers. They kept letting her eat the things even though she couldn't keep 'em on her nose," Stephanie announced, and sat/fell on Yancy's other side. "I can't make it to barracks. Somebody carry me?"
"Me too," huffed Suze and dropped down next to her. Devi and Kennedy soon joined them so all six newbies were slumped in a rather sorry line along the wall.
The Gages shook their heads at the Tunaris. "And these, my fellow Americans, are the finest that the Jaeger Academy has to offer!"
"Says the guy with an army-issue tie around his head under his beret."
Bruce cheerfully flipped them off. "Auld Lang Syne to you too, Music Men. Happy New Year."
To be continued...
Coming Mid-Week: Nobody ever said being a Jaeger pilot was easy. The Beckets are finally cleared to start piloting Gipsy, but amid testing her weapons, they discover a side effect to Jaeger operation that the PPDC hasn't warned them about in Chapter Fourteen: Drawbacks!
PLEASE don't forget to review!
Original Character Guide
Devi and Susanti Hassan - First-generation daughters of Indonesian immigrants to Australia, ages 26 and 24. One of three teams including the Beckets to graduate Class 2016-B and become Jaeger pilots.
Priya Katwal - Senior Engineer of the Jaeger Program, mid-50s, Indian ancestry. Once designed space station living quarters for NASA, now she designs conn-pod life support systems (and gives Rangers hell).
Antwan Ferrier - Oldest candidate from Class 2016-B, late 30s, Jamaican national, failed second cut at the Academy but stayed with PPDC to become a support officer.
Lea Franklin - Youngest candidate from Class 2016-B, age 17, lived in San Jose, California. Sole survivor of K-Day out of her family because she was traveling abroad with a school group. Extremely gifted, but has intense social anxiety due to PTSD. Failed the second cut, but stayed with PPDC.
Familiar Faces
Dr. Caitlin Lightcap - age 30ish, from Pittsburgh, PA, inventor of the pons neural bridge and co-pilot of Brawler Yukon until its destruction. Retired from piloting to supervise pons training and drift sync testing at the Jaeger Academy. Now married to her co-pilot, Sergio D'onofrio.
Captain Sergio D'onofrio - age 30ish, test pilot and then co-pilot of Brawler Yukon,until its destruction, and moved on to a training position at the Jaeger Academy. (He was a Lieutenant in Pacific Rim: Tales From Year Zero - I'm assuming he got promoted. He and Caitlin Lightcap fell in love, and Stacker Pentecost referred to them as "the D'onofrios" a year later.)
Dr. Jasper Schoenfeld - engineer who created and designed the first Jaegers, now head of Jaeger Engineering in the PPDC. Had an affair with Caitlin Lightcap when she was his graduate student and he was married, which they resumed after his divorce while they were working on the Jaeger project. Caitlin ended the relationship after drifting and falling in love with the test pilot, Sergio D'onofrio.