Project GUARDIAN: The Rise & Fall

by Her Head In the Clouds

When Princess Thia is kidnapped by British terrorist, Pitch Black, a mysterious secret agent comes the rescue. But protecting her is a challenge as he is wanted dead by multiple spy agencies. Now she and the ex-spy who only goes by the codename 'JACK FROST' must work together and stop Pitch, all while uncovering the dark secrets of something he left called the GUARDIAN program. AU

33. The Final Pages of Jackson Overland

Edited. Nope it's true. You're actually seeing the correct number. 20,544 IS the word count SWEET LAWD. Know why? Cuz I realised that THIS is the height of the story (for Jack at least) so it is the longest chapter emotionally. It's also VERY serious and alot of things might be too heavy to understand or take in. So don't overexert yourself, read in pieces, take breaks, and please get comfy! Now the next one might take a tad long to update asdjkfljkl, but hopefully the ones after will speed along. AND I SWEAR, I'LL BRING THE LEVEL OF DETAIL DOWN back to minimal spy-standards, lol it's just that THIS IS THE CLIMAX AND YOU SEE JUST HOW COMPLEX JACK IS! :D And akizaki14, you called this the Trust (white) arc of the story and I think that's cool! So let's call it that (: Ok no more ranting, here's a Jack-centered chapter for you. And oops, a lot of you must've been a tad confused by which memories Jack was happy in. Don't worry I'll clear it up. GOOD LUCK! I swear I'm done with these lengths, I know you guys keep saying it's fine and you love 'em but haha you can stop lying now xD THIS IS NOT NORMAL LOL. And to those celebrating with me west-side, have a happy long weekend! And thank you much again to ALL you guys for joining me on this ride through Project GUARDIAN. You're AMAZING troopers.

*Now it'll be tough but just try to imagine it like a movie. The scenes jump back and forth but Jack's words in the center is the voiceover that connects them to the end. And I don't know why but I heard Matt Damon's voice. :p Do I have to cred him? And remember, this is an AU so many of the things in this chapter may not/cannot actually happen in real life...but imagination is a wonderful thing.

---

"And it will take this life of regret, for my heart to learn and forget. Tomorrow will be as it always has been, and I will fall to her again."

---

"Y...You are my sunshine, m-my only sunshine..."

Burgess is my home. It's always been home since the day I was born.

"You make me h...happy...when skies are grey..."

I have never known a more perfect town, protecting everything I stood for, everything I loved...before it was all taken from me.

"You'll never know dear, how mu...how m-much I love you..."

But back then, I didn't know it would. You never do until it's too late to change it, until it's too late to save it.

"Please don't ta-take my sun...my sunsh-shine a-away..."

All you see is the sun in your eyes, the noise in your ears, the beat in your chest...and you just live.

"...Rest...R-Rest in peace."

You keep living, keep loving...or at least you keep trying to.

"Jamme, jamme 'ncoppa, jamme jà!"

She laughed and copied.

"Jamme, jamme 'ncoppa, jamme jà!"

"Funiculì!"

"Funiculà!"

"Funiculì!"

"Funiculàààà!"

"Hahaha, you're so weird!" She threw a piece of her toast at him.

He grinned like an idiot and threw his head back like a dramatic opera singer – and nearly hit himself with the frying pan he was holding. But he could care less as he finished the song.

"'ncoppa, jamme jà, funiculì, funiculà!"

She clapped as he bowed but then said–

"And THAT'S why we're not going to Italy!"

"Why not?!"

"Because then I'll come keep back a goofy butthead like you!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Heh, but you gotta admit, I'm like a master chef now. I can make a mean lasagna!"

"Awww, can you make it for dinner?!"

"No!"

"Please, please, please–"

"No, I'm whipping up a–"

"Please, please, please, please–"

"W–"

"Pleeeeease!"

He sighed.

"Okay, maybe!"

"Yeeeah!"

Jack rubbed his eye with a knuckle. When he pulled it away, the sunlight coming from their kitchen window blinded him slightly. His pupil shrunk and the warm brown around it grew wide.

He smiled anyway.

When he turned to grab Emma's plate so he could finish washing the dishes, he froze and looked at her.

Jack raised a playful eyebrow. "Uh, Emma?"

She was still in her pajamas like he was, sitting in the chair at the table.

But she was also pressing a snow globe right up to her forehead and was looking deep inside it.

"Em!"

She turned it with her face to smile at him through the glass.

"What?"

Jack laughed. Her round face grew even more round and was flipped upside-down.

"You're playing with it again?" he teased before he went back to what he was doing. "And I thought you said the one from Switzerland was your favourite!"

"Aw I know, I know!" the 10-year-old giggled. "But this one's sooo pretty!"

And she started to rub it up and down her face like a crazy person. Jack laughed and shook his head.

"Oh, okay!"

When he was done cleaning up, he walked back to her and rubbed her hair.

Jack always brought her back a snow globe when he was away on his spy missions – of course, she didn't know that. She thought every time her big brother left, he was doing something else abroad.

"H-Hey!" she squealed and she put the snow globe back on the table to fix her bangs and stuck her tongue out at Jack. He copied before a warm smile came back and he lowered himself into a squat.

When he was eye-level with her and the table, Emma grinned and turned back to the snow globe.

"Thanks again, Jack," she said, fingering the German text craved into its pedestal and spinning it around to look at the rest of the things dancing across it. "I love it...I Iove them all!"

And he grinned handsomely and reached up to flip it upside down so he would make it snow again.

"And don't worry, I promise I'll bring you another one for our collection," he mumbled gently and put his arm over her shoulders.

But she shook her head.

"You don't have to," she said. "Just save money and come home sooner!"

And he laughed, leaning his head over so it was atop Emma's.

"Ah, stop trying to guilt trip me! A month won't be that long! Would I trick you?"

"Yes."

And when he froze, she laughed at her big brother and reached for the globe again to shake it a little.

"You always do...except when you have to leave."

Jack frowned a little.

"You know, I can't come home early," he said and he kept looking into the snow globe watching the little fake snowflakes fall.

After a bit, he tried to smile again before she could see it.

"Those people need me."

"But a month is so long," she huffed and played with her shirt. "It's always really long."

"I know...but you've got grandma, a-and your cousins, and your friends," he nudged her gently. "A month always flies by!"

He smiled and continued as he watched the white particles land on top of the little people inside.

"Just think of all the places these came from and the people I've met. And one day, you might meet them too."

And she looked up at him with her mouth open.

"Really? I could go help people and build homes with you?"

Jack looked away, pretending to think about it for a second before he looked back at her with a grin.

"Yeah sure, Em. Of course you can. One day, you can join me."

And when he nodded, she smiled and looked away from him again.

"But can we go to a warm country instead?"

"Why?" he laughed. "What's wrong with cold countries?"

"Because you always go to cold places like Iceland and Russia! Why don't you ever go to hot places? Don't people need help there too?"

"Because I've told you before," he looked at her. "I chose to help the cold countries."

"Why?"

"'Cause I like it."

And Emma shook her head.

"You're so weird."

"And you're gonna be late!" Then he planted a kiss on her head and motioned her off the chair.

"Now come on!" the 20-year-old pushed. "Move it!"

And she groaned back hopped off anyway and flew around him. Jack spun, trying to see her but she moved so quickly and disappeared into the living room and over to her bedroom.

He shook his head with a smile. Jack then left the kitchen to go to his room.

"And don't forget your sweater this time!"

"Awh Jack!"

And as he passed down the hall, he kissed his fist and pressed his hand to a photograph of their parents on the wall.

"Don't 'awh' me, missy!"

"You're such a mom!"

"And you're such a brat!" And she laughed from her room.

"Am not!"

And Jack laughed back.

Our parents died the spring I turned 18...Emma was eight. But neither of us wanted to give up the house and since they didn't leave a will, the Burgess court had to probate one on behalf of my legal rights. So after the funeral, I made myself Emma's legal guardian and allocated most of the ownership to my parent's house. When it got transferred to my name, the two of us got to keep it. The other half of Emma's ownership was setup into a trust fund for her and our only living grandmother came in to help pay off the house with me. Ever since, Emma and I had a lot of growing up to do.

But we had support...and we had each other. We knew we could do anything and there was nothing that could hold us back from what we really wanted.

And before I became a spy, we filled our time with everything we could.

---

Five years ago...

---

"Bye Jack!"

"Hey, watch the road!" eighteen-year-old Jack smiled as he waved at his eight-year-old sister. "See you later!"

"You should stop by later!" she paused to push her bangs up into her helmet so she could see. "Mort's pulling out his old N64 and I know you love Super Smash Bros!"

Jack laughed and shook his head. "Can't, remember? But kick his butt!"

"Haha okay, I-I'll bring ya back a sandwich!"

"No avocado!"

"No promises!"

Then Emma biked off to her friend's house down the block before he could say yell back anything. Jack watched for a moment a grateful smile on his face.

Emma cried a lot for six months after the funeral that she rarely said a word. But it was something about Jack, trying to make her happy, to make her forget on nights she felt bad, like counting to ten or telling her a story, that eventually brought her back.

Their short grief and return to relatively happy lives was a mystery and wonder to everyone in Burgess...but it just made the town love the two more. And it was because of that, that everyone wanted to do anything for them. Whether it was friends inviting Emma over to play, or adults offering Jack things to do that would help him get into college with the best record ever.

When Emma was gone, Jack laughed and walked down the road to the auto shop, thinking about starting university in the fall.

Emma and I rarely stayed home; but not because we were afraid of the house or anything. It was just Burgess.

It had this...this life, this way of making us want to put on our shoes and run around.

Maybe it was the air...the way the air smelled from the forest and the river...

"Morning, Jack!"

"Hey!"

He threw a hand out to a neighbourhood kid and several other friends and random neighbours along the way. Everyone in Burgess was close-knit without being nosy, kind without being overwhelming, and he was thankful everyday for having a place to grow up as laidback and courteous as he could be.

He hopped the train track halfway through the centre of the east side of their town and walked to the auto shop.

Maybe it was our parents who probably regretted, especially my Mom who used to say over and over 'Jack, you can't have fun all the time!'...since most days I couldn't anymore.

I couldn't run around...not unless it was to go to work. So I made my own fun with the people around me, and with the jobs I did.

"Hey Jack!" his boss threw an oily rag at his face the second he walked in. Jack laughed.

"Seriously?! Not even a minute and I'm in trouble?!"

"Whose bright idea was it to take the Harley out around the town just so it could skid up Thaddeus Lane?"

"What?" and Jack grinned impishly. "It was due for a test run!"

"Boy!"

And Jack laughed as his boss threw another rag.

"I tell ya if your dad wasn't a good friend of mine, I'd have run you over with a car years ago!"

"Don't say that!" Jack mocked. "There might be kids around!"

"Yeah, you!"

"Takes one t–"

Then Jack ran and laughed until his stomach hurt.

And the other mechanics laughed at him and their boss' usual antics.

Jack loved it there. He always loved cars, how they worked and how fast they could go, but he was more of a motorcycle inspector than an actual grease monkey; that and Jack was a polisher, shining everything he could with the wax from his kit and the light from his smile.

And Jack also had another job at the library, stocking books and cataloging titles. He always had a good memory and learned a lot about different places – but Jack had a weird habit of using a broomstick to balance two crates of books across his shoulders.

Jack liked to say that it worked on his back muscles and he liked carrying it like a staff. The librarian said that he looked more like farmer trying to lift stock. But he was always careful...unless the library was absolutely dead and he twirled it around and jumped on desks like a 6-year-old.

Still, Jack couldn't complain. The money was great and the two jobs helped pay off a good chunk of their monthly rent.

After I graduated high school, I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to study foreign policies and protection...reading all those books, spending all that time in court to make sure I could look after Emma really brought that part out of me, and the part that idolized the people who helped bring justice for my parents' deaths. So I got accepted into Custos University (about an hour's drive away from Burgess) a private college that helped students fast-track their studies toward a career in global relations, economy and psychology. How I got in, I'll never know, but I still remember their motto: Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

"Who has custody of the custodians?" meaning "Who guards the guards?" or "Who watches the watchmen?"

God knows a part of me wanted to stay in Burgess forever so I could look out for Emma...but she reminded me over and over again to reach for what I really wanted. I wanted to watch people, like the people who watched for my family, who found my parents, and kept us safe. I wanted to watch out for my little sister. As I studied, professors and faculties sent out their students' eligibility (including mine) to several intelligence agencies for internship.

So it was only a matter of time...

---

Eight months later as a university student...

---

A 19-year-old Jack walked into the professor's office.

His hair was still damp from the shower he'd just had after working out at the gym and he'd been ready to drive home – he even had his car keys in his hand – before he got a call on his cell from the main receptionist.

He opened the professor's door with his gym bag still slung over his shoulder and smiled warmly to the man he'd grown to know over the past few months. Every student at Custos had one or more teacher they had to confide in – and it was just Jack's luck that the guy he'd bumped into the day he started out, was the head of the global relations department. He was now his mentor.

He was surprised though when there was another man standing in the office with him. It was a tall guy in a dark business suit.

"Jack, I'm glad you could make it!" the professor smiled warmly. "I'm sorry this was so late."

"It's alright," Jack smiled and twirled his keys before he shoved them into his pocket. He then walked up to both men and shook the professor's hand as usual. "What's the occasion?"

"I wanted you to meet an associate of mine since he's driving through Lehigh before he leaves again," he said kindly before he introduced the two to each other. "Jack, meet Damon Slater. Damon, this is Jackson Overland."

As the two shook hands, the professor continued.

"Jack, Damon's one of the lead recruiters for a private intelligence agency right up in Buffalo," then to Damon. "And Jack here is one of the best all-around students here at Custos."

Jack's eyes grew wide.

"Pr...Private inte...like the CIA?"

And Damon shrugged.

"And the NSA, the DIA, the IC, and the FBI. I'm an access agent. "

Jack instantly tensed. "Y-You're an agent?"

'No, an access agent! The kind that provide profiling information that can help lead to recruitment into an intelligence service...Whoa,' he thought. 'No wonder he's dressed like James Bond...Better be on your best behaviour!'

"Uh, nice to meet you," he said lamely and Damon was actually very polite and smiled warmly.

"Same to you," he answered. "So I guess you've been aware of your teachers' activities in sending out your records to potential agencies like us then? You didn't bat an eyelash when he mentioned where I work."

And Jack shrugged.

"I heard things but I didn't think it was actually happening...until now."

And both men laughed when he suddenly looked self-conscious and started rubbing his head. Then the professor looked at him again.

"Well, don't worry, it's not an interview," he reassured the brunette. "They've already checked your records."

"Sir, you sent mine out already?!" the nineteen-year-old choked before he stop himself.

"Of course, Jack. We're a fast-track university, remember? You're gonna be graduating in a year so it's our jobs as faculties to send out your transcripts before you leave."

Jack rubbed his neck. "I guess."

I had so much fun then, jumping between work and school...I went on a lot of trips every other week with other students to bureaus and government agencies that we got to shadow and question. I guess I'd forgotten what would happen in between...

Damon nodded.

"And your GPA is impressive. Plus, you passed all our entry-level tests."

Jack blinked. He did?

"Wait, what? When?"

"Several of our associates meet with you and the other students when you go away on trips. Jack, you've met with most of them without even realising it. They said you were 'memorable'."

'Yeah, probably because I make an idiot outta myself,' and Jack's ears turned red. But Damon continued.

"And remember that guy who wanted to kick box with you twice a week?"

"Dan? Yeah, what about–"

"Well, he's a trainer from our company. It was his assignment to assess your physical wellness."

Jack paled slightly.

"Seriously?!"

But he swore he'd kicked that guy's ass at least twice in a fight – he was a spy?

Damon caught his look and smirked. "Oh yeah, he went easy on you. Recruiters always do."

Jack couldn't believe what he was hearing. He felt like he wanted to fall over.

"I-Bu-Wh...Was...that all? Just him?"

"And the magic show we invited you and your families to on campus, two months ago? Remember the magician who picked on every student in the class?"

Jack gulped.

He remembered that day.

---

Emma was so excited and pulled Jack to the front seats. She had never seen his school before and being in the big auditorium to see a magic show made her all excited.

"Haha, come on, Jack! Let's get a seat up front!" she whispered and he laughed.

"Heh, alright alright slow your roll!"

The rest of the night, he, Emma, his classmates from the same psychology course, and their families were put on the spot by the magician.

They each had to figure out how to solve a puzzle or get out of a trick. When Jack got pulled up (much to his awkwardness), the magician bound his hands and told him to solve a puzzle on the table in order to find the correct key code.

The students gulped and snickered that he'd make a fool of himself. But after he stopped blushing, Jack smirked slightly.

He loved games.

And he was always good at most so in seven seconds flat, he figured it out and unbound his wrists.

Emma was the only one in the audience who didn't gasp – she just grinned and clapped wildly.

---

When Jack nodded nervously, Damon smirked and crossed his arms.

"Healthy mental state, quick reaction time, interest in athleticism," when he nudged his chin at Jack's gym bag, the brunette nervously tightened his hold on the strap.

"You're a good candidate, Jack. But I guess I gotta ask...Why're you trying to get out of school so quickly?"

Jack rubbed his head.

"I...There's just so much I want to do, I guess..."

"And what do you want to do?" the professor asked.

"I..." and Jack lifted his head with a smile. "I want to help people."

And the professor shot him a secret smile.

"Maybe a policeman? Or a firefighter?"

And Jack smirked.

"Maybe a policeman...or a firefighter."

And Damon uncrossed his arms - and the corner of his mouth lifted.

"Or...why not consider...a career in espionage?"

And Jack's heart stopped.

"S...Seriously?"

"Yes," Damon answered but Jack shook his head a little.

"B-But don't I have to...work my way up from, you know, the military, Black Ops, o-or a police task force before I can even be considered for a position in–"

"Well, that's what your university is privately designed for," Damon smile stretched. "All those specialty courses on military conduct, foreign policy, civil and computer engineering weren't for nothing. The things you've learned helped fast-track you for internship and full employment, if you wanted."

"You're joking!"

"Well, he wouldn't have stopped all this way for nothing, Jack!" the professor butt in and Jack's fell open. His gym bag slipped off his shoulder.

"Y...You're serious. You...Y-You want me to join an intelli...and become a..."

Damon nodded genuinely.

The professor laughed.

"Eight months this boy goes without a quick remark and suddenly he's speechless!" he laughed. "I never thought I'd see the day."

And Jack looked at him and laughed. "H-Hey! Cut me some slack, sir! I never expected this!"

And Damon chuckled. "Our company is private and is more of a supportive branch to the large bureaus like the CIA and the FBI. So we gather more of our information by going more overseas than working from homebase. As well, our agents provide extra protection to dignitaries worldwide so many of our members, including the first-timers, play active roles and really get to experience global politics upfront. And trust me..."

He paused before he smiled.

"The pay is way more than you'll ever make as a cop or a fireman," and Jack's mouth still hung open.

"Hey!" the professor cried. "My nephew's a cop!"

"Well, why didn't you send him to me then?" Damon joked and the professor crossed his arms and looked at Jack.

"Eh, because my nephew's stupid and I know Jackson," he then looked at his student, "and if anyone can do this, it's him."

And when Jack finally finished wiping his jaw off the ground, he grinned gratefully at his prof.

'And he also deserves this one shot...for his family,' the professor thought with a grin back of his own.

"So what do you say, Jack?" Damon asked. "I can come back and discuss more when I return from Buffalo...but would you like to consider being a covert operative?"

And Jack hesitated for a moment, thinking about how much his life would change in this one moment...but he thought of Burgess, he thought of his parents' house that he was trying to help pay off every month with two jobs and a little help from his grandma, and he thought of Emma.

'Chase your dreams, Jack!' she always tried to reassure him when he came home tired from school and doubtful about his future. 'Chase your dreams and I'll be so proud!'

"I-I do...I do!"

Then Jack looked back up at Damon and nodded his head with a wide smile.

"...I will."

Later after the meeting, Jack drove with all his windows open and shut off the radio. He was still gasping with excitement, trying to soak it all in while the wind rushed into his face.

But he couldn't tell Emma yet, he couldn't tell anyone yet in case it was like in the movies where you were sworn to secrecy. So that night when he got home, he just told Emma that he'd been accepted to join the peace corps, an organization sponsored by the US government that sent young people to work as volunteers in developing countries.

She squealed in excitement and they both stayed up all night watching spy movies and bingeing on snacks.

A week later Damon came back and prepared my paperwork...My fingers were shaking so bad under the desk that I almost couldn't sit straight.

"Why do you think you should work for us, Jack?" Damon asked him that night. But Jack leaned back and did him one better.

"Why do you think I should work you?" he smirked and Damon smirked back.

Jack wasn't dumb. He knew Damon and the company wouldn't have gone through all this for him unless they really wanted him. But he had to play it like he had to be coaxed into joining.

So Damon explained.

"Well, you'd be working on the cutting edge, exposed to the latest weapons and technology that you wouldn't see anywhere else because we've classified it...Along with combat and psychoanalytical training...and data methods like super-string theory, chaos math, advanced algorithms...Okay, code-breaking, basically. And, we handle a lot of intelligence workloads both national and international."

"I knew that," Jack smiled. "I just wanted to hear you say it. I researched your website and your mission statements all last week."

And Damon rolled his eyes with a smile.

"So then if you know all that already, Jack, lemme ask then...why shouldn't you join us? I think that makes more sense to ask."

Jack shrugged.

"If I fail...what happens to the people I can't help?"

Damon didn't say anything so Jack frowned gently.

"Say something happens like, I find the secret location of some warehouse housing a terrorist somewhere in the world and our agency sends an air strike on it...but then hundreds of people in the surrounding village dies...Do I...H-How do I live with that on my conscious knowing that...even though my actions might've been the right thing to do...it still caused a terrible outcome?"

Damon sighed and rubbed his stubble.

"...It's smart that you're thinking about Consequentialism."

And Jack frowned – he had to for his philosophy and political science classes. How else would students like him, going into law enforcement and global policy, going to understand what things like 'punishment', 'foreseeable suffering' and 'saving people' really meant?

"But don't worry, Jack," Damon continued. "It's okay, you don't have to be a Provocateur. Our agency consists of multiple levels of assignments for agents. You don't have to choose that area if you're uncomfortable. Some agents do it for the purpose of saving the rest in the future...but if you want, I can put in a recommendation so that you only get assigned to a particular sector. What do you like, intelligence gathering? Influence? Facilities supervi–"

"Protective services."

Doman paused. "Sorry?"

Jack was serious and didn't blink.

He thought of Emma and his parents.

He'd been thinking of them all week as he considered his future career.

"Can you put me in protective services?" Jack asked again. "I-I'm also okay with intelligence gathering but I'd...I'd like to bodyguard and protect the people and families today...You know, continue to give them a chance at a future."

And Damon heard the conviction, heard the genuine plea in Jack's tone. He sounded like he'd already found where he wanted to belong. And Damon smiled – he never told anyone, but his favourite people always went to the protection sector.

"Okay...I'll give you a shot."

It turned out that I really WAS sworn secrecy...I couldn't tell Emma, my Grams, or anyone that I'd become a secret agent. But, it was fine! Really, I...I was paranoid like a superhero in a comic book...heh, you know, if the bad guys find out your real identity then all your loved ones would be in danger? So I never said a word about my 'double life' to Em when I got back.

I graduated from Custos a year early and I continued on with the lie that when I had to leave for weeks at a time, it was because I was in another country building homes and giving people aid...

In a way I was...so that's what I said, what I did...

---

Fast track to a year after his acceptance to be a regular spy...

---

"Bye, Jack," Emma whispered.

She hugged her big brother one last time.

As they did, the man who came to pick up Jack shook his grandmother's hand politely as the two said their goodbyes.

Jack was leaving again, and according to Emma, he was heading for Tibet to help rebuild a school that had gotten destroyed in some landslide. And she was proud.

"My big bro's gonna help other kids!" she'd always boast while he was away.

Jack grinned softly and ruffled her hair.

"And don't bug Grams again about going up to the lake!" the nineteen-year-old whispered. "She can't walk that hill, remember? And it's our thing!"

And she rolled her eyes. "Okaaaay!" and he hugged her again before he moved over to his sweet but sassy grandmother.

"Bye grams," Jack hugged her tight. "Take it easy, kay?"

"I always do, sugar maple," she grinned warmly and hugged him. Jack grinned into her sweater. He was always comforted by the fact that even though his parents died, and he had to leave, that Emma could still be safe and stay with her. Their grandmother was a real character too and when Emma wasn't out with friends or at school, he always came back to weird stories about the two of them doing weirder things.

Jack then knelt slightly to block Emma's view of the two of them.

The man (who was really an agent), picked up on it instantly and went to talk with his little sister. As the two chatted about snow and stinky farms, Jack pulled out two envelopes from his coat and handed them to his grandmother.

"Here's my half for next month," he said softly as her mouth fell open. "And I forgot to go to the bank today and deposit this into Em's account so could you–"

"Jackson."

Jack looked up. He hated when she used his full name. His grandmother looked at him.

"No, sweetheart! You don't have to!" she whispered. "You're my only grandson, you keep it!"

"No, no, take it!" he then handed it to her quickly. "I need to make sure you and our house and all of us are still gonna be fine when I get back. So pay the rent early and–"

"Jack!"

"Grams, please," he whispered back. "Or, at least use it so you two can go out and have a good time for me."

"Okay, okay..." And she sighed because when Jack got started there was no stopping him.

She then hugged him again tightly.

"I still don't know where you're getting all this money from," she teased. "Are you sure you're not selling blood to some hobo somewhere?"

And when Jack's mouth fell open, she smirked.

"Ha, I knew it!"

"Grandma!"

Yeah, that's where he got it from. Well, through his dad first, but then from his grandmother.

"No!" he laughed. "But I told you this new peace corps organization that I work for really pays us well."

"Okay, but be careful this time!" she said and kissed his cheek. "The last time you came home with a limp, remember?"

Jack remembered.

He hadn't gone on his missions yet but he had started his tae kwon do training and the instructors were severe. Though he had gone up two belts since then so it was okay.

"Jack, we should leave now," the man said. And Jack heard the subtle anxiety in his tone and nodded.

Not only was he learning tae kwon do and kendo, but he was also training on psychoanalyses – everything from physical, emotional, and abnormal sensory to help as he studied cases. So hearing the slight change in his tenor, made Jack remember just why he was leaving.

Why he always left.

"Yeah, okay...so..." Jack rubbed his head and moved away from his family.

Leaving was always the hardest. Especially when Emma always ran to hug him one more time.

"Bring me back another snow globe," she whispered and he grinned mischievously.

"I thought you said no more!"

"I did, but you make me wait so you owe me!" she laughed. "And say hi to the families for me! I know you're not allowed to take pictures..."

And he smiled and hugged her back.

"I will."

Then Jack and his partner left in the dead of the night.

The second Jack left the outskirts of his home town though, his game face came on and he pulled out his case study to read up on the mission they were about to take.

I lied through my teeth for two years that it was so easy by that point.

Every time I left Burgess, I took a two-hour, fifty mile drive to Ponderosa Private Airport. It was privately owned so our company jets didn't have to call air traffic control.

And that's how I got in and out of Burgess as a regular spy for two years.

When Jack landed in Brussels with his partner and met up with the rest of their team, one of them opened their arms.

"Heeey, look whose back!"

And Jack smirked. "Hell yeah, roaring and ready to go!"

As regular field agents, Jack and his team acted like citizens. They collected information in hot zones (while infiltrating a few offices here and there) and protected a member of Germany's Federal Ministry of Justice who was being targeted.

They never actually went out and took down the criminals, god no. But for Jack that was fine because he didn't want to fight anyone. He much rather preferred to watch people from afar and was happy knowing the people he protected could go home to their families.

That, and it was nice to always receive a handshake and be offered a position in a bureau if he ever wanted to leave the espionage career path. He always grinned when those offers came up.

Later in the newspaper, his partner read an article about the same guy they got info on and found him tied up in the weirdest way by police.

"You think one of ours did that?" he asked and Jack shrugged.

"Man, that would be so cool to have moves like that," another partner commented and they all agreed.

After that, they all went about their business as covert bodyguards as usual.

I didn't know about Project GUARDIAN back then. No one did unless you were chosen. I was just a regular spy, working for this private intelligence agency in two units – reconnaissance and protection services. And I'll tell you...I learned a heck of a lot more in those two years as a spy than I would have in a normal life.

I learned about the nature of economy, time zones, the importance of quick nutrition...I had to understand every trade in the world, had to know populations and cultures at the drop of a dime, the names and positions of more than a dozen dignitaries, criminals, and governments worldwide...I had to know everything for the people around me.

...But what did I learn for myself?

I learned tolerance...

His partner yawned on the other end of his Bluetooth.

"Man, it's been six hours...How long are we gonna be at this?"

Jack smiled and rubbed his eye from his post way up high.

"A couple more, man...Hang in there."

Endurance...

"That's Lap Four!"

Jack and the other thirty-or-so agents huffed and gasped as they continued on in their 10K cross-country run.

"You keep going, guys!"

One guy pretended to cry just to make them all laugh.

"KEEP GOING!"

Teamwork...

Adel blocked a punch combo from a guy coming at him with his knife.

When he knocked the wrist away, he dived down quickly to do a low roundhouse to trip the criminal.

As predicted, the guy sensed it and jumped back – so Jack swooped in, grabbed his unarmed hand and flipped him deftly on his back.

Resourcefulness...

"Oh fuck!"

Jack's eyebrows flew up as his earpiece crackled.

"What's wrong?!"

"I...I think my location's been compromised!"

"Nina, hang on!"

Jack got up from his table.

Sacrifice...

"Miss, would you be so kind as t–"

Jack forcefully bumped into him as he pretended not to look where he was going.

"Oh, es tut mir leid (sorry)," Jack muttered in German but he sent the guy a dark look and kept walking.

The guy immediately sensed Jack's hostility and shifted all his suspicions onto him. But Jack kept walking to the men's washroom.

"Jackson, are you crazy!?" Nina breathed into the mic.

"Just get backup now!" he murmured and he kept walking. The man followed him all the way to the washroom, but when he went inside, Jack was gone.

"What the hell?" he muttered.

SNAP!

Jack broke the handle off the washroom door. The guy spun around and was shocked.

Jack was dangling his gun on one finger with a dark look.

"Looking for something?"

I also learned how to work under pressure...the philosophies of patience and discipline...

"Five brothers working as underbosses and security chiefs of the Sinaloa drug cartel betrayed their leader El Chapo, and allied themselves and their lieutenants with the Gulf Cartel and Los Zetas after his arrest...what was the name of the brother that headed the new drug ring?"

Jack sensed a hit coming on his right and he took a step back throwing his arm out to deflect it.

"Arturo Beltrán Leyva!"

"What is the population and GDP of Malaysia?"

Jack blocked a two hit-combo with his boot and his right hand before he got a punch to the stomach. But he recovered quickly and grinded his teeth.

"Ov'...Over 29,495,000. Their GDP is $340 billion!"

"How do you disassemble a Walther P22 pistol?"

Jack caught a knee with both hands coming toward his front and shoved it down. His breath came out raspy as he thought about his answer.

"Y...You remove the stabilizer. Then press down the takedown lever and cock the hammer. Fully retract the slide, lift its rear section, and slide off the receiver. Then you remove guide rod. Assembly is in the reverse order!"

The questions stopped and so did hits.

Jack took off his blindfold and blinked.

...and I learned that without suffering, there wouldn't be compassion.

"W-We lost ev'r...ev-everything..." the Japanese ambassador and his wife knelt in the snow in front of their home. It was burned to ashes and Jack couldn't swallow the lump in his throat.

He tried to open his mouth to say something but the little girl he was holding squirmed out of his arms. He gently lowered her to the ground and she ran to her father.

The man sensed it and turned to hold her tightly. After he pushed her hair out of her face, he faced Jack and his team.

"B-But they were just things...I-I still have my family," he hiccupped and nodded. "Thanks to you all."

After he bowed (and Jack and the others showed their respects too), the ambassador picked up his daughter and held his wife's hand.

I learned alot...and I had to learn more...

Jack assembled his Ruger Mark III pistol before he put it down on the weapon table.

Afterwards, he loaded two rifles and put them in his side holsters.

I learned that some things were necessary no matter what you wanted or how you wanted...and I think that was the hardest lesson I had to accept...

The missions I went on, the more carnage I witnessed it became a routine. The more things I saw, the more I had to stop caring so much...because I was stuck. I was stuck in a life where all I could do was help in the little way I could...but I couldn't interfere with the affairs of others...unless I was ordered to.

And if I defected ...the blood was on MY hands.

"Jack," someone talked to him on his earpiece because he was supposed to have left the trailer. But the cameras didn't stop recording the criminal who was following the woman in the park.

Jack narrowed his eyes.

"Is he blitzing her or coercing her to go with him?" he mumbled.

"I don't know!" the other voice panicked. "But you gotta get out of there! His bodyguard will come back and find you unless–"

"But that's how he gets his targets," Jack argued and gritted his teeth.

He had never clenched his jaw before since they were always taught that calmness was a key part of a spy's control over himself – but he couldn't help it.

"For two days, we've been following this bastard, wondering how he lures them but he vanishes...Then what, twelve hours later they all end up at bus stops without a kidney? I can–"

"No, Jack! Get out!"

"Nairy, I'm fast enough!" Jack hissed and he grabbed what he could and memorised the criminal's prolife on the camera one more time before he spun.

But by the time he was halfway to his escape route, the bodyguard came back.

By the end of the night, Jack had to be rescued by three older spies, Nairy was dead, and the white, snowflake shaped scar in the middle of his palm was an attest to his punishment.

...I was stuck.

Being a spy, was the same as...being a spirit...being a spirit who walked the earth...I could only hope to touch a few things, and only a few people could see me but no matter what I wanted, there was a veil over me...and I think that's how all spies feel. We work hard, we protect and we watch others as well as any cop or camera, but we're ghosts. We can't interact and our actions can't be recognised...

So you try to laugh it off...to mask the pain and act like nothing's wrong...And that's how some people start off, that's how I was, always...always hiding it...

"You got an opinion on this stealth debate, Jack?"

When all eyes were on him, Jack raised both hands and backed away with a slight grin.

"Oh, don't look at me, Malik. I'm invisible, remember?" he teased as he crouched behind a wall.

"No you're not, idiot, I can see you!" one guy harped. "Bend your knee in!"

"You can see me?" Jack mocked and stepped out with a heart to his chest. "A-And hear me?"

The other guys rolled their eyes and laughed as he started to pretend to freak out.

"He sees me! He sees me!" Jack gasped with a grin before it turned into a look of shock.

He threw a hand to his chest.

"Oh no! Shit, he seesme! I'm compromised, I'm going down!"

And when one of the spies got up to give him a noogie, Jack chuckled and they all laughed again.

Later when they were off duty they all went out for drinks...light ones, mind you. They were still spies and they needed all the mental clarity they had at their full potential.

That's what kept me going, what made me bottle it all up. And when I was home, no one ever saw that side of me, I made sure of it.

"HEY! LOOK WHOSE BACK?"

"JAAACK!"

"Haha, Em's such a baby! Leave him alone!"

"HAHA, NO! LET HER GO! LET HER RUN TO ME!"

And Emma shot from her cousins' hold and lunged on her big brother until they were a big mess of laughing and crying all over the front door. He had a new snow globe in his bag.

I held onto the good memories, the same way Emma held on to each new paperweight and swore never to sell them. And when I left, I tucked it away.

But I still started feeling it more and more...

Jack sat in his hotel room with a postcard. It had a picture of the Swiss Alps and he flipped it over and starting writing his letter to Emma.

He signed it with 'Miss you, snowflake!' then rushed down to the lobby and gave the receptionist (undercover with them) to send it out to Burgess. She chuckled and rolled her eyes since Jack had asked her to earlier.

"You sure it'll travel without clearance?"

"Of course!"

"You're sure?"

"Jackson! Haha, that's my job–"

"I'm serious."

She paused.

"Uh, yeah...Chill out, nothing's gonna happen to this...or whoever's on the other end."

"I..." Jack sighed after he checked how late it was on the clock.

"Okay, sorry," he said then ran a hand through his hair. "I'm just stressed, you know?"

Then she sighed too.

"Tell me something I don't know...but at least the money's good, right?"

And Jack nodded apologetically.

With every cheque he got, he could pay off their house faster, and put more money into his savings. Jack was even able to add money into Emma's trust fund so every chunk, every extra dollar, went to her and her future. He wanted to make sure she would be okay and never needed anything.

I grew more serious, more mature...less naive. And when that happened, I had to see things a lot more clearly. My eyes were wide open, and I saw things and people...for who they really were.

"It's okay that you didn't know, Jack."

Jack shook his head as he held his Styrofoam cup. The hot chocolate was still warm but he wasn't thirsty anymore. His hand cast was still cradled to his chest.

"She set me up. I..." Jack kept looking across the room with a wide, hurtful look. "And I never picked up on it."

His superior looked down at him with a sullen face. "None of us did, son."

Jack didn't say anything.

"Nairy was a part of his cartel. She was the one who leaked our information to him so he knew where to make the right drop-offs."

"..."

"But sometimes we're so busy watching our enemies...we forget to watch our friends."

Jack's eyes started to sting at in the corner of his eyes – not because of Nairy, god no.

But because his hand was still hurting like a bitch.

I started to...to psychoanalyse everything. Everything and everyone, and I felt bad about it. But...it had to be done.

But god knows I felt it...that discharge...

---

Another year later...

---

"AU SECOURS! (HELP!)"

Jack turned to the French diplomat and rushed just in time to stop one of hitmen hired to kidnap her.

He threw his left arm up in a parry to throw the taller man off before he reacted quickly. Jack grabbed the other fist flying at him and bent it up. Then he glared and spun deftly on his heel until his back was facing the man's chest.

With a controlled breath, he then pulled the guy's arm out and over his own shoulder.

"Gwarh!" the guy yelled but Jack narrowed his eyes and lowered his knees instantly. He threw his whole body's momentum forward enough for the guy to flip over on the concrete before he let go.

But Jack knew he had to hurry.

He had to knock out the guy before he recovered. So he turned on his boot and dropped down beside him ready to throw a punch at his face. But the hitman had anticipated it and was already one step ahead. So when Jack moved in–

Spisss!

"Aah!"

Jack covered his eyes and pulled away.

The guy got up instantly and tried to attack him but a moment later, Jack's other team members appeared.

They saved him, and the diplomat, and their mission was successful.

But months later...

Jack was stationed in Denmark, packing his things from his lookout post.

His team were doing sleep rounds but they decided that he could head back to their hotel room them while they continued. That's what they did, rotating between each person so the hotel wouldn't get suspicious about how long they would be out.

"Get a couple hours of shuteye then we'll switch, yeah?" one of the spies said and Jack nodded his head.

"Uh yeah...thanks," he sighed.

I realised after I joined the GUARDIAN program that the chemical I'd been hit with must've been some kind of hallucinogen...it made me see things in my sleep. Nightmares...things that I didn't want to happen that I thought never would.

Jack was so tired and couldn't wait to collapse for a powernap. But when he got the hotel room, dropped his bag, took off his blazer over his turtleneck and fell asleep on his bed...a nightmare plagued him.

He dreamt that Emma was asking him again to join him on his trips to help people in other countries. And like every dream, he always said, 'Not yet'.

But this time she asked him again and he said Yes.

And the second he blinked, his heart stopped beating in his chest.

Emma looked up at him with a blank look, her skin sunken and pale. Her irises were blurred out and dark, spidery veins appeared under her eyes. Her breath was also shallow like she could barely breathe.

In his dream he ran to her, and just as he felt himself fall on his knees in front of her, held her close and bent his head, he fell the pain of a gunshot shoot through his chest.

"I'm sorry, Emma...E-Em, I'm sorry!"

Then he woke up with a gasp, his dark blue turtleneck soaked around his neck and his hair clung with sweat to his forehead.

He couldn't get back to sleep for that shift after.

I knew I should've let it go...It was perfectly fine to imagine loved ones in danger when you work in such a dangerous occupation – I'm sure I wasn't the only one who endured hallucinations like that. But there's something like a cold feeling you get inside that you can't explain...but you sense it. You feel it.

So like a true spy at that point, I decided to trust my instincts...They told me to watch out.

Two years in, Jack was 21, mature (still a bit cheeky) and always alert and on his toes. He watched his teammates and where his personal information floated with a little more attention. The boys always use to tell him to watch his things but he didn't really bother before.

But now being one of the company's top agents in his age range, and having that nightmare hanging over his head, he felt he needed to.

"Number of missions successfully completed: 604, all except for one," Damon whistled as he read back Jack's file. Jack smiled as he escorted the senior access agent through the SI unit of the company. The recruiter was heading to Barcelona to meet with a new group of eligible students.

They passed the tech analysts sector, ignoring the fast typing of keyboards and the mutterings of over sixty active agents doing intel for other spy teams around the world. Sometimes the technical analysts had to all work on one giant case (like to crack a government super computer or track the movements of a counter-intelligence organization) or in teams to get large operations done; by as Jack and Damon walked past the techies that day, they were all concentrated and focused on their own assigned missions.

Jack didn't bother paying attention to them.

"Well Jack, I must say," Damon finalized as they reached the elevators leading up to the grandmaster hall. "When I look back on how the last 28 months has helped you grow, I'm more and more grateful to your professor for sending your file to us. Your track record is one of, if not, the best for your age range."

He then bonked Jack on the head with his own file. "You're a survivor, Jack. That means something. Keep it up, you might run this place one day."

"Ha, fat chance!"

Then Damon left Jack with his file and left for his private jet. He thought Jack, being all mature (top spy and what-not), meant that he wouldn't look at his own private files. Usually spies were supposed to send them through an electronic chute that would safeguard their information in the lower levels of the company.

But Jack was curious.

So making sure all the scientists in the SI unit weren't looking, he backed away nonchalantly to the nearest men's washroom and snuck a peek at his file.

He made sure no one was inside then went into the last stall. Leaning against the wall, Jack read his file quickly.

He didn't know why but he wanted to make sure that the only mission he'd ever actually failed was the one involving Nairy.

But nope, Damon had been wrong. He'd failed three missions, not one.

But bless the agent's heart for trying to give Jack that bout of confidence. Jack smiled a little and shook his head, flipping his sheets back to the front.

"Heh, you're really something, Da–"

Jack stopped flipping the sheets though until he got to the front.

It had all his information; full name, his address, his social security number, his height, weight, blood type...

...and even his 'next of kin'.

His sister was there like his proud beacon of hope.

Emma M. Overland.

But his eyebrows knitted together.

She had a weird symbol next to her name. It was like a tiny heart with a lightning bolt through it and a circle around it.

He'd never seen it before...but whatever it was, it made the hairs on his neck stand up.

So Jack paused and waited until the washroom was empty for sure then memorised the symbol and flipped through his file, brown eyes moving and moving trying to match it to anything he might've seen on the papers.

Then he stopped on the Credentials page. He was the same symbol next to its assigned term.

Legacy Benefit.

Someone had put a checkmark next to it.

And when Jack leaned in close to assess its penmanship, he realised the ink was still fresh.

The checkmark had been recent...which meant Emma had been cleared for something. And he didn't know for what.

I made myself mad for days...Whatever time I could get to myself, I asked few people about the Legacy Benefit. What it meant, what it did...and I was discreet as possible. First rule of discretion, remember? Ask as little questions as possible. I'd thought at first maybe it was like an insurance plan for Em or something in case...something happened to me, she'd be looked after. But the more people came up blank on it, the more my skin started to crawl. I realised it couldn't have been a protection plan for her then...I mean, if it had been, more people, might've known. So I did some research for myself.

And I...deep, deep in the sub-levels of the company files...I came across pictures.

Pictures of children in files upon files. And they were mutated by some injection they'd been given, and were dead. With no names or where they came from.

They could've been orphans for all I knew or came from families of other agents in the company...and it made me sick, made me worry...

For every dead child Jack researched, he also looked up dead agents. And he realised, that for every spy listed as MIA (missing in action) they all had sibling or children listed in their files with the same, strange symbol...

...the symbol that represented the Legacy Benefit.

The word 'guardian' came up more times than I could count...'custodes' kept running through my mind...and I tried my best to wipe my tracks every time I left a database.

But I should've known that eventually my cover would've been blown if I kept looking. I was part of an intelligence agency that tracked everything and everyone...it was only a matter of time before they would find me...and they did...it just took a while for me to realise, before it was already too late...

Weeks later, Jack's assigned protection mission was over.

He was discharged to go home for a week before he had to leave again and he was itching to leave England as soon as possible. He'd spent an hour or so in the computer room using one to finish his research and his hard work paid off. That night he read through old company files he could access and broke a code on the word INNOCENCE and read something about a program being initiated...but before he could read more, the file said it was corrupted...then shut itself down.

Jack left the room instantly – but not before expertly taking the hard drive of the computer and replacing it with another one.

But the second his card key unlocked his hotel room and he flipped the light switch, he froze.

"What the hell?" Jack glared at the floor.

He stopped walking towards his bed and leaned sideways to look suspiciously around it.

All his travel papers were scattered on the floor.

But he hadn't he kept them all in a folder? He was trained to make it his habit to keep all things orderly and out of sight.

But suddenly all his freaking papers were everywhere?

Agents tracked and followed me...they listened in on my conversations, not that I said anything about my research. When I was on my missions I was focused on the tasks at hand and I kept my mind and my track record clean...and I never did research until I left.

At the moment, I felt I had enough information to go on to make me panic, I headed home to Pennsylvania, my mind was focused on only getting home...I didn't even think to look at the things happening all around me.

I never noticed the air getting thin, or hearing the strange whispers of people around me...I didn't even think way back in the hotel room as I was leaving my mission from London that all the things I brought with me were moving around on their own.

But I didn't stop and when I got to Ponderosa Airport. After I got in my car, I drove for two hours straight, nearly going over the speed limit. But there were so many potholes in the road...I avoided them, but I grew more apprehensive, suddenly panicking that I needed to get home faster than I needed to.

I remember I fished out my cell phone, and drove one-handed.

Something was wrong.

Something was telling Jack to hurry home, to make sure Emma was okay, to...to finally confess...to let her know and tell the truth about his secret-spy career.

Yeah, he couldn't believe it...Was he delusional? Did he want to risk exposure for myself? His teams?

But screw it, no one else knew about the INNOCENCE Program, no one else was on it! So he had legitimate reason to warn her!

His heart was pounding with every dark stretch of the road he couldn't see.

Burgess felt in that moment like it was ten thousand miles away. I couldn't get home fast home enough, and I'd never been more afraid during my career in espionage than I felt in that one moment.

Jack tried to call his house and force her over the phone to pack her things. He hoped that maybe if he moved the two of them, she'd be safe.

And I knew that my plan didn't make any sense but in that moment I didn't care. I just wanted her safe. I didn't know why my employers were in on her life and wanting her to be a part of this...She was MY sister, and I was HER legal guardian. It should've been under my consent whether or not she'd know about any of this...and I wasn't about to let what I saw over the last two years have any effect on her.

"Come on, Em! Pick up!" he muttered hurriedly. "You're eleven, you're probably still awa–WHOA!"

Jack pulled his phone away when a loud static started through the speaker. He tried to end the call and redial but the screen flickered.

Jack's eyes grew wide. He was sure that saw a blue spark shoot from–

ZZICHZ!

"Ah!" Jack's cell gave off a painful static shock and blue electricity zapped him. He tossed the phone into his passenger seat in fear.

He tried to calm the thumping in his ribcage.

What was wrong with his–

BOOM!

A second later, Jack had to avoid a giant crater that created itself in the road ahead of him. With a sharp inhale and unblinking eyes, Jack swung his car in a slight drift – on pure instinct.

When he hit the brakes in the shoulder a second later, Jack got out and stumbled against his car. His heart was on fire and he rubbed his head stressfully.

I never drove that hard before in my life, but I always had a knack for driving. I drove motorcycles around for the auto shop when I used to work there part-time, remember? 'A need for natural speed' is what my boss used to call it.

Jack shook his head.

He could've crashed if he hadn't just done that crazy move!

But he couldn't think more on it as he rushed over to the crater and knelt on one knee in front of it.

Jack glared at its edges and into its center. It looked natural and it didn't feel hot.

But Jack wasn't crazy – he knew it hadn't been there a second ago. It was like something large and invisible and punched it from above and...

Jack snapped his head up, remembering the other potholes he had to avoid. Taking out the flashlight he still had in his pocket from when he was on his missions, Jack shone it as far as he could back up the road.

His face paled.

They weren't potholes...they were craters too! Just smaller, but they were there.

Jack shook his head and stood up away from it.

"I...I have to tell someone," he mumbled to himself, meaning a spy from the company. If this was some kind of occurrence that could affect or hurt people, he had to report it before the environmental ministry looked into it.

Maybe he'd tell them about his cell phone too. It was specifically designed by the company to be protected against signal interference, and with his screen flickering, his call dropping, and that static shock...that was not normal either.

Maybe someone had finally figured out how to tap into their lines!

'Oh yeah, you're a real spy now, Jack,' he grumbled in his head. 'Paranoid as a mental person.'

And he spun on his foot, and made a run for his car, throwing the car door open. But when he looked up again, he stopped dead in the road.

Jack's anxiety rose.

In the distance, two people were walking toward him. One was a woman, the other a man who was well over six feet.

Jack glared, and instantly reached in for his pack and pulled out the only two pistols he carried. Clicking off the safety, Jack pulled back up and boldly stood with his guns concealed at his sides.

But when he took another look at them, his mouth fell open.

The woman had...

She had blue electricity shooting from her fingertips and he swore he could see her holding what looked like a rod of lighting...and the guy?

The guy beside her didn't say a word but every time Jack blinked, he saw double of him.

So he backed away, suddenly afraid.

"W-What? Who're..."

That was the first time I saw a GUARDIAN. Two in fact, and I didn't know it. And I never thought that I'd end up joining them.

I thought, as they came at me, that I was being executed, or suffering from another hallucinogenic nightmare...the kind that involved weird superheroes on Saturday morning cartoon specials Emma and I used to watch when I was a kid.

I didn't believe they were real...I couldn't...because it was all surreal.

WHACK!

But by that understanding, surreal meant that it would be my downfall.

Someone punched Jack in the back of the head and he blacked out. They then drove him back to Buffalo, to the company, before he even made it to Burgess.

When Jack woke up...

"Nosotros..."

"...shite...

"...aeyt."

I didn't where they took me, but I knew by the sharp smell that I was back in the company. I couldn't move my feet, something had...paralysed me...

Jack's eyelids fluttered to keep open.

His brown eyes moved everywhere and he lifted his head as they hobbled him through some brightly lit hallways.

Whatever had hit me, it felt me immobile, like a toy, but I was awake, and I could see and hear everything...Was it a test? I wasn't sure, but I memorised my surroundings just in case...

Hallways and hallways...weird lifts...strange words floating everywhere...and people mumbling to themselves.

"...schützen, right?"

"No, there! υπερασπιστούμε..."

"It's 路从不选你。..."

I didn't understand most of the languages...but I kept my head up, hurting but memorising...a left, then three hallways down to the right, an immediate turn at the first hallway, then a sprint down to the sixth on the end...it was endless, but my mind, my thoughts...they were racing faster than my body could react.

Then we hit a hallway that was dark...and they left me there. The room sent me up until I was standing alone in a dark place. It was cold, and I was afraid...even now, I still see it in dark flashes.

Weird inscriptions...Blue neon lights in the wall...The shape of a semi-circle room...

"W-Where am I?"

And a high desk...with people sitting behind them in business suits. They had grave expressions. And every tick of silence, they enraged me...until they said my name.

Jack's eyes narrowed.

"You..."

"You're Jackson Overland," one of them said sternly. "Age group K1, from Protective Services."

"I don't want your damn credentials, I found you out, under heaps and heaps files the other spies are either too scared or stressed out to look for themselves!"

His tendency to ignore authority slipped out and he didn't give a damn as he walked up the board members, trying to hide themselves behind the shadows of the room.

And on the side, I saw the two mysterious agents that had ambushed me on the road to Burgess. I instantly looked around the room in a panic.

"Y...H-How did you do that?!"

I'd never been there before...But I knew that after I'd leave that place, everything I knew might change.

They started to tell me where I was and why I'd been sent there...The Judgement Room...room, it was cold, and dark, and their voices bounced around like they were inside my head...but I didn't care.

I remember screaming...accusing them of taking children...killing agents...

"My sister, my baby sister you were gonna turn her into a what, a spy? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"We don't have to be at liberty to offer condolence to your concerns," one argued hotly.

"I don't want condolence. I want answers! Why was my sister on a list with a checkmark on her name?"

"Jackson, it is part of our selection...she was chosen to be enhanced. If anything you should be thrilled."

"Thrilled?!" Jack's voice bounced around the concrete, crescent room. It sent his skin crawling. "I've seen the other kids! The...The mutations!"

And he felt more than saw them bristle up high in their chairs and it gave Jack some level of bitter satisfaction. They weren't spies, or at least weren't anymore – he wanted to shove in their faces how immoral their decisions as executives were.

How was I supposed to feel? Calm? In control? I'd found out the company that I was working for carried such a dark secret...

"Give me a reason!" he snarled. "What, may I be so bold as to ask, is INNOCENCE?"

"..."

"TELL ME!"

They glared at his ferocity before one of them (after a lengthy, mental debate with some board members) leaned forward and frowned down at his face.

"It is a sub-operation...in response to another program we run, a program you cannot even hope to understand."

And right then and there, they told me about Project GUARDIAN...the program's mission, the agents involved...the process...and the Center Gene...they told me everything...and I listened...in stunned silence...For twenty-four years, it had always been for adults...but recently something happened...some kind of 'success' they'd been watching for years. They wouldn't tell me what but they said that because of it, the gene was going to be placed inside the children.

And that's what INNOCENCE program made. It was the product of some unknown success...and I couldn't stop myself from imagining it.

It was designed to make future GUARDIANs...They chose children, especially toddlers and babies, from stable backgrounds without cause to mess up their lives...selected even those with family members already in the company...Then the Center gene was planted into kids early on so that as they grew, scientists could watch their growth and mutations, until the gene hits its full potential...like some new race of people...

To join the company? They never said...but I knew that was their ultimate goal.

"And that's the risk we are willing to take," one finished, almost proudly. "Few must suffer for the safety of all."

When it was over, I could barely breathe with my lungs, barely stand on the muscles I'd built for myself.

I felt hurt, betrayed...Who knew for all the years I worked here, that under my feet there was a sub-level where super agents, even stronger and faster than me, were working...protecting us as we did our job, and taking out the terrorists and kingpins that killed us for sport...I was almost afraid...until I remembered that they wanted Emma to be a part of it.

Emma may not have been a baby or a toddler...but they were starting a new age group...and with her in her tweens, she was ideal.

"I...I-I can't believe all of you! You're sick! If you think I'll let you experiment on my sister–"

"But I've seen the files...all the children you've ever tested on...they've died. They've mutated and they've died!"

"But she'd be watched over...they all would. Since we have to keep trying to perfect the growth–"

"No."

"Jackso–"

"I said...NO."

Jack's voice dropped to the same baritone he used on criminals when he felt like running them through.

I didn't know what happened after that. But my body was shaking and my anger was built so high.

"My sister will not be a part of this, do you hear me?" he seethed and took a step forward, knuckles turning white by how tightly he fisted them.

"She is not one of your guinea pigs. No child is! What kind of company goes behind its own morals and–"

"Why do you think we never tell you spies from our standpoint? Your callous attitude blinds you, Jack!"

"Blind callous?!" he shouted. "You were gonna take my sister out from under my nose and...and put something inhuman inside her?! An...And turn her into a freak show?!"

"She'll help save lives!"

"She's not going to end up in a place like this! Not under my legal guardianship!"

"She doesn't have a choice!"

I couldn't understand how they would have managed to pull it off...I guessed they might have staged Emma's kidnapping...

"Then make one! Then YOU choose to make something else happen right now, or I swear to god I'll expose all of this to...to-I...I-What do you want from me?!"

They were silent and angry. But so was Jack.

His nostrils flared, he wanted to pull out a gun on all them – as terrified as it sounded to him.

His heart was pounding, his skin was crawling, his mouth was dry and he was sweating.

And I saw her...I saw her standing right in front of me like in the nightmare...but it was unbearable...

"With her name under protection by the sub-operation of Project GUARDIAN, and by automatic company protocol, you are protected too, making all our decisions have priority over yours!"

"Wh...When did that happen?"

When had I become...property?

"The same day you joined accepted this offer to join us," another man said grimly. "Everything you are, everything you represent, is what we must safeguard. For you."

"...Then choose me!"

"What?"

And Jack's head snapped up faster than he'd ever pulled it. His eyes were seeing red and his heart was threatening to climb up his throat and leak through his eyes.

"Make it so it's me!...Me!" Jack yelled. "Let ME join Project GUARDIAN in her place!"

"You can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because you weren't chose–"

"To hell with that! Everything you say is a GODDAMN CH–"

SLAM!

"Agent Overland, do you understand what we are trying to express?! Ask yourself WHY none of the spies have ever heard of the GUARDIAN program! Why it is classified! This is a life-changing decision because once you're in y–"

"Then let me in and change my life so you sick bastards won't touch my–"

"JACKSON! You DON'T understand the severity of what you're exposed to...of what you're asking!"

"Then make me understand!...MAKE ME!"

"You agree to this now, and...AND YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK TO YOUR SISTER!"

I remembered I stopped there...because everything went numb.

"YOU can't go back to being a regular spy, or to your regular life, you...and you can never go back to Burgess...and that includes your sister!"

"Wh...Then wh–"

"You're asking to put a biological rewrite inside you! To let it change you! You'll CHANGE, JACKSON! You'll mutate regardless of the outcome and unlike your sister, this ISN'T temporary!"

And in those eighteen seconds of my life, I saw my life flash before my eyes. My partners, my family, and my friends...the things I loved to do, the things I loved to eat...they were all laid out for me...and I couldn't breathe...

Someone sighed and Jack watched another silhouette move.

It was a woman rubbing her face with one hand – she looked stressed and I felt the pressure in the room rise, the anxiety. One of the men spoke again.

"This program was designed for super agents...But the mutation you will go through, will put you on a level of attention that every criminal in the world will want...even police, detectives, the media...the exposure of having something like that won't ensure your safety so we have to protect you. And that means for all our GUARDIAN agents...they can't go back to where they came from!"

"B-But why–"

"DO YOU WANT TO SEE EVERYONE YOU LOVE A TARGET?!" the woman who hadn't said a word finally shouted.

Jack froze as her screech echoed across the stone room. When she shuddered in her seat and took a breath, Jack's mouth fell open.

Dread pooled into his stomach and flared up into his lungs.

The word target had him thinking of all these terrible things.

"I...Wh...I-I c..."

"You could be the best agent out there, Jack, but one slip up and your sister, your hometown, our state, this ENTIRE COUNTRY could be put a hit list just to find you!"

"So you need to give it up...and that's why we didn't want you to find out. Not like this."

"You mean not ever, and I...N...N-No...No!"

"Jackso–"

"No, I don't care! I'd sacrifice myself a thousand times than give her up once!"

"So what are you saying then, hm? You want to drop her instead?"

And my hands shook and my body was aching...They laid her out in front of me too...

"No," Jack fisted his hands and muttered. "No, don't make me the bad guy– "

"You want to leave your sister alone?...You need to understand this, Agent Overland, because we were giving her protection for your safety...But you ask what you're asking again, to replace her, to...to sacrifice yourself...it means that you never go back to her."

Not unless I wanted to see a bullet through her...or myself after all this, if I walked away without anything.

"B-But I can't even make a phone call? ...Or write a letter?"

I worried about the postcards...and the snow globes...

"No, that would be a breach of protocol! A risk on her life, and yours. You know what emotional compromise does to people in this career!"

"..."

"So no, Jack...Not ever. You'd have to cut her virtually from your life...because the Center gene is highly secret and Project GUARDIAN is made up of the world's most elite operatives. And so far, you're the first one in known company history to discover this."

The INNOCENCE program was fairly new, it just started up a couple months ago...and they were right. I was the first agent to discover it and the first agent to willingly ask to join Project GUARDIAN...and those meant something...but back then, I didn't understand. Why couldn't they just let me go in secret to see her? Or least let me...look in on her life from time to time...I had proven my resilience and skills in figuring it all out, so I could have easily just watched over one little girl. I argued with myself that she'd never know I was there, and I'd find comfort in knowing I could protect her, like the ghost I was always destined to be...

But maybe because they had found out I was snooping around made me lose that opportunity. I was sloppy in some extent, leaving tracks from the files I hacked and researched. So maybe they couldn't risk me leaving to spy on Em in case something else followed my tracks to.

And if that wasn't argument enough...If I known about the things that I would've seen, the things I'd do as being GUARDIAN...well then, I wouldn't have wanted to follow Emma. Or look in on Burgess, period.

"I...I..."

"You have to decide, Jackson...because everything you decide on this moment, falls on you. We can't stop the check on your sister without some kind of alternative...it's...not within our power..."

And I wanted to throw up...

But I took a breath, my vision blurred...

And I said...

"O-Okay..."

"Jackson–"

"No! I said I...I-I'll do it."

For her...In her place.

And Jack head dropped and fell on his knees.

"I'll join the GUARDIANs...I'll take the gene in her place."

"Jackson, you have to understand...You could never, and we mean never see her again. Even from your old life...and that means other family members..."

Bye, grandma, take it easy...I always do, sugar maple...

"...friends..."

Race ya!...You're on!

"...old colleagues, past co-workers..."

Oh no! Shit, he sees me! I'm compromised, I'm going down!...He got a noogie and they all laughed.

"...even your past superiors."

Damon then bonked Jack on the head with his own file...You're a survivor, Jack. That means something. Keep it up, you might run this place one day.

"I...I know..."

"And all you're activity, banking transactions included have to stop too."

Which meant he had to stop making deposits into Emma's account, and her cash flow would cease, and the monthly rents would return.

Jack sighed shakily.

"Wh-When do I take it?"

"You'll need to train for a year, and...and if you pass all the physicals, and reach your limits, then you'll be given the Center gene. You're already 21, so your body's mature enough to accept it."

"Fine..."

"Don't worry. We...We will teach you Project GUARDIAN's tenets and you will see...everything we do, everything we suffer for, it will be for the good of everyone else...You'll be a hero."

But Jack didn't care.

As long as she was safe...that was all I cared about...so I really was a guardian...through and through.

But it was like they said...'few must suffer for the safety of all.'

And I was the few.

---

One year later, after preparing for Project GUARDIAN...

---

I trained up until the time I had to they let me go home one last time...this was my last two weeks before I had to leave and train with Project GUARDIAN forever. I couldn't say I was thrilled, if anything I was sick, but I hid it well.

"Come on, Jack! Follow me!"

I smiled warmly and let her beat me up the hill. I didn't want the last memory of her face to be one without happiness.

"Haha I beat you!"

"Fine, fine! You win Emma!" and Jack pulled up his face and grinned at her. "You always do."

"Haha that's right, Mr. Overland I always do!"

And when she dropped her hands and smiled up at him, he returned it.

"One more day!" she mumbled and ran up to hug him.

"Yeah..." Jack murmured into her hair. "One more day...Then tomorrow...T-Tomorrow I'm gone."

"But you'll be back again!"

And Jack pulled away and nodded although his breath was shaky.

My final back story was that I was going to Canada, to a little community on the arctic island of Alert, to visit an aboriginal school. Emma bought it. She always did...and like always, she was more proud than sad that I was leaving.

"Y-Yeah..."

When she sensed his sadness, Emma suddenly didn't want to do anything but sit there with him in the grass. Jack wanted that more than anything – to hold onto the last drops of the lake, the forest...his heart, and his home.

He could never see Burgess again, not unless something followed him and destroyed the tiny, unprotected town. GUARDIAN precautions meant that he could only do missions in major urban settings – but anything consisting of less than 100,000 people meant he could endanger them, unless a giant catastrophe was already happening.

Jack sensed it and grinned.

"You wanna play a game?" he asked, trying to get his mind off his last hours with his sister.

She shook her head a little but Jack tried to encourage her. Every second they weren't doing something, he felt like a piece of him was dying away or slipping through his fingers.

"Come on, it'll be fun. We'll play hopscotch...like we do every day."

Emma smiled a little.

"W-Will you play it with the other kids?"

"Yeah. That would be okay with you, right?"

She laughed. "Of course, Jack! You teach them all the things you taught me! Then, I know you'll be okay."

Normally Emma was so worried. But over the last two years, she was more confident, and more mature beyond her 11-year-old heart than he thought he'd ever be ready for.

"You look after them, and protect them like we do for each other...like you do for me, okay?"

And Jack nodded even though a spike ran through his chest. Protecting kids? He was only protecting one.

He'd been too late for the others...and he couldn't protect the ones to come.

"Then, when I turn thirteen, I'll get a job and help you and grandma!" she boasted happily and started to throw stones into the lake.

Jack shook his head and lay back in the grass with his arms behind his head. He stared up into Burgess' trees like they'd disappear if he didn't.

"Em," he said. "No, you don't have to–"

"But aw, come on, Jack! You were working at the car place when you sixteen!"

He chuckled.

"Yeees, but only 'cause Dad wanted me to stop running off around town, remember?"

At the mention of their Dad, they both fell silent – it had been a while since either of them mentioned their folks...but Emma turned as Jack sat up in the grass. She came back to him and grabbed his hands gently.

"I'll help with food!" she grinned and her 21-one-year-old brother grinned back.

"You already do!"

"Then I'll help pay for the house!"

"You can't make that much at thirteen, you little brat!"

And she stuck her tongue out at him. "Well, one day soon, I'll have more money than you ever did at sixteen!"

And Jack rolled his eyes but his heart panged – Emma didn't know she'd already done it, thanks to her trust fund and the cheques he cashed in.

"And then..." Jack looked up. Emma was smiling a little as she talked.

"A-And then we can see the world together."

Then I had leave really early the next morning, when it was dark...around 4 AM. No one slept when I had to go. Emma talked non-stop and my grandmother made poured enough cups of hot chocolate to fill the river in Burgess. But they gave me the biggest sendoff I'd ever seen...or maybe I felt like it was because it meant so much to me. And while I played it off like a simple farewell as I usually did...

...well, I was sure I'd collapse before I made it off our driveway.

But I was brave. Still brave enough to drive myself to the airport – no one from the regular spy division could know about Project GUARDIAN unless they were accepted and chosen.

And I was strong...until the 'Welcome to Burgess' sign whizzed past me...then it finally sunk in.

Jack's fingers shook so bad though that he had to stop on the side of the road.

He sat there in the seat with the engine running until his breathing became gasps for air. Reaching up, he killed the engine and sat in the dark silence with his thoughts racing.

Suffering for their safety...

Chasing your dreams...

Protecting a future...

His heart was going in palpitation and his eyes flit everywhere in the darkness, thinking someone who appear and kill him for discovering his company's secret.

And he never wanted for it. Never wanted for choice that was never his own.

It was all so much and he couldn't take it...And as his gasps started to choke, he finally couldn't take it.

Jack shut his eyes...he crumbled...

...and he screamed out with every drop of stamina form the bottom of his heart.

When his throat was raw and scratched, he dropped his head against the wheel and cried.

Jack cried...heavily and painfully for the first time in a long time...alone and afraid.

His shoulders were shuddering and he shakily threw his hands up to cover his eyes before he ran them through his hair.

I didn't want to do anything. I wanted to speed back home and hold my sister until someone told me that the last two years didn't exist...until the last three years didn't exist.

I wanted my parents back...

I wanted the weight of bills and paying rent off mine and my grandmother's shoulders...

I wanted to still be back in school, with regular people and be fast-tracking to a career that had never been anything close to espionage...

(French) "Merci beaucoup (Thank you), Jack!"

"O-Oh m-my god...we thought *cough* w-we thought...no one would ever find us!"

"Y-You guys stopped them! You SAVED us!"

But all those people I'd saved...all the people I would save, could save...

Emma's last words always came flooding back.

"Goodbye, Jack! Write to me from Noonvu...Noovut...Noovuna–"

"Nunavut."

"Right!"

Jack laughed weakly.

"Em, I can't, I...There're no planes that leave Alert Island until I'm ready to leave."

"Oh okay...so...so I guess I'll just wait for you then!" and she smiled weakly. "Like I always do."

But Jack shook his head – Emma wouldn't know just how final his words were.

"No, Em. Don't wait around for me," he said gently and rubbed her head.

"But Jack–"

"Em."

She stopped. Jack had that tone. She rolled her lower lip in and waited.

"I'm serious," he said softly. "I want you to keep living your life day-by-day as if I'm always here."

"But you won't be," she said with a frown.

"I will, I...I'll just be invisible, pretend I'm invisible," he said. "Can you do that for me?"

"I don't know..."

"That way I know you'll be okay b-because you're not waiting around. So you keep smiling for me and you keep having fun like I'm right over your shoulder...Please?"

"Okay Jack...I'll do it for you."

"That's my girl. And I'll bring you back a Canadian snow globe, alright?"

"One with a polar bear in it, okay?"

"Heh, absolutely."

And I knew I was doing what...I could to keep her from being on a list for something no brother ever wants their little sisters to face...

If anything, I should've counted my stars and've been thankful for being one of the best regular spies in the company. I don't know what would've happened if my report was only average and I couldn't replace Emma for the INNOCENCE Program of Project GUARDIAN. I probably would've been MIA like the other spies that were listed...and Emma, she...well I don't know what would've happened..."

So I went back to the company. I actually did..and I tried my best to make it as positive an outcome as I could.

"Keep your eyes closed, bretyam!"

Jack dropped his eyelids again and gritted his teeth. He was so hot he could barely breathe.

But they wouldn't let him out of the vault, not until his five minutes were up. His sweat was pouring down his forehead, down his neck, down his back, and he was sure he'd melt.

"Keep them CLOSED, Jack!"

Jack shut his eyes again and sighed shakily. He tried to give an apologetic smile.

"S-Sorry," he mumbled and his trainer nodded with a small smile back.

"It's alright, bretyam. It's always hard at first."

That's what they called all the agents in the GUARDIAN program. Bretyam.

He tried looking it up but he couldn't find what it translated to. It was some unknown language he'd yet to learn – and Jack, so new and afraid of the program, never asked.

I knew I had to show his discipline. I had to endure the heat, the cold, my bodily needs for weeks, months on end. I didn't go on missions for up to a year because they were training me so hard. I got barely any sleep...sometimes going days on just mental willpower – but that's what they wanted.

"Jackson, get UP! You're going to be late!"

"Jack! Hurry, your lesson starts in half an hour!"

"Jack!...Oh, he's gone already?"

I had to be better than myself. I had to keep fighting it every day. I had to endure it all and come out on top... for Emma...every breath, every moment, every ache was for my sister, and every person, and spy out there who were in constant danger, or in trouble...because I wasn't sure that the minute I failed this and they found me unfit to accept the Center Gene, she could wind up back on the list without my consent. They said they'd keep their promise since they were losing me in one area of the company to be a part of another...and I had to hold onto that.

So every day I got up, and I confronted my guilt, and my anger...I got stronger...

Jack held onto the steel bar with an angry gasp. His palms were bound with white bandages. He swung the lower half of his body back and forth until he built up enough strength at his core. Then as his feet were ready to swing forward again, Jack gritted his teeth and tightened his muscles. He shirked the bar with his hands and lifted it to the next rack above him. Then he swung again and lifted the bar again...and again...until he was well above ten feet off the ground.

...I learned faster...

Jack learned Spanish and French fluently, conversational German, and a bit of Italian simultaneously while he did his training. Some days he went without speaking English, as did most GUARDIANs in training who wanted to learn multiple languages – it was always good to know at least three at their level.

...I thought quicker...

"And start!"

Jack pushed and pulled the puzzle pieces with the correct numbers and sizes with controlled speed. Two male analysts walked around him as he sat at the table and watched him and his hands move across the table. The third was a female holding a clipboard and a timer as she recorded his progress.

"What his rate?" on the men asked.

"His speed count doctor is 124 npm...132...141..."

Their eyebrows shot up.

"Wow," one them breathed.

"Well, I'll be..."

Two minutes later...

"Time!"

And Jack's board was cleared of the wrong puzzles and he coded the right hidden message. The analysts looked down at him with a smirk.

"Not bad, son. Not bad."

...I fought harder...

"GO!"

Jack lifted his steel rods and matched his opponent's hits in a blur. His frown was apparent on his face, but his eyes were clear and his mouth as tight-lipped.

He put everything he learned about eskrima into that one moment and threw his wrists up to parry the guy's rods coming at his head. Then when the other agent twisted his wrist in to bring his right rod down, aiming for Jack's torso, Jack side-stepped and swung his own right rod out to deflect it.

He then threw his left rod up to catch another swipe at his head and followed back step.

Jack pulled a quick move.

He slowed down his walk just a fraction of a second – but it was enough to throw his buddy off. And the guy swung his arm out too far and caught air, Jack immediately saw the opening and sped up his walk again.

He swooped in, and smacked his opponent in the cheek with his titanium stick and the other keeled back.

The trainers watching nodded their head.

"Good Jack, you're understanding variable acceleration. Fighters should never go the same pace for too long. You have switch it up to throw the other off his game."

And Jack continued to circle his partner like a predator, waiting for him to recovery and ready to go again.

I made a place of my own in the world I didn't yet understand, didn't yet belong to, until everything I did was second nature and I found what I was good at.

Weeks later, Jack was in the training room with six other agents.

Only the top elite spies were considered by the founder of Project GUARDIAN, so they were all committed to their assignment. When they were done, then he would give them a codename based on a storybook character or a myth. It was weird but it worked.

Then the green buzzer sounded.

They all ran the course, jumping and dodging obstacles to their best ability.

"Show us how you run!" one of the trainers shouted as Jack and the others moved. "Show us how you disappear!"

Some of the agents used their gadgets, some punched their way through.

"Show us that you can become invisible!"

Jack used his best skill – parkour. He flipped, vaulted, and wall climbed to his best ability. Agile and silent, Jack burned through the course with a steady heart and controlled breath. When it was over, the scientists reviewed their panels and gave them decisions for the board to be given. Jack's included.

"Dialysis complete: This agent's progress report indicates that his abilities are best equipped for stealth."

At his next exam, Jack had to track a member of the CIA for three days without getting caught and duplicate every piece of information about the case he was carrying. He minded his surroundings until the shadows and deception were his best friend. By the end of it, Jack found out every thing to do with a massacre involving the long-time terrorist Pitch Black, along with future hot zones that even the CIA agent hadn't calculated yet.

The board was impressed and the scientists did their review.

"Dialysis complete: This agent's progress report indicates that his abilities are best suited in reconnaissance."

Many GUARDIANs were suited for recon, along with combat – but even then Jack had something else most of them didn't: a natural gift for driving.

I didn't know that the night I was taken by the Guardians was a foreshadow of my future. The night I avoided those potholes, was a testament to my future high-performance driving skills. I practised driving and outdrove most of the agents with precision and speed. And by the end of it, I was in such control with myself, I never doubted myself and my decisions.

That would later land me in the Gunner division.

"Twenty-eight seconds!" a woman said.

VRRRRMMM!

"Shoot! Did you see that drift he pulled?!" Jack's trainers watched from high up in their undercover helicopter looking over Los Angeles. They were counting down how fast Jack could drive his getaway car then break into a building simultaneously.

At the last turn, Jack hit the gear shift and pulled up into 3rd then he gunned it. As the car tore across the roof parking lot, Jack flit his brown eyes to the air vent sitting next the entry door. He rolled down the window then shot a grappling hook at it and hit the button.

"Twenty-three seconds!"

"Ho dang! He's pretty gutsy!"

And as the hook started to retract and forcibly tug the vent cover off, Jack opened the door of the driver's side.

"What the hell's he–"

"Nineteen!"

Just as the car passed the vent, the cover ripped off and the shaft was opened.

"Eighteen!"

Jack bent his back and at the last second, he tucked his body in and rolled out of the car.

"Seventeen!"

"Holy–"

The car kept going until it drove off the edge of the roof, bringing the vent cover with it.

"Sixteen!"

Jack retracted the hook and shoved it into his pocket, before her dove into the hole without fear.

"TIME!"

"Dang, he beat the clock...Now that's what I'm talking about!"

"Dialysis complete: This agent's progress report indicates that his abilities are best suited for missions with strict countdowns."

After the year of advanced training ended, I became what I'd set out to be. I became the strongest, smartest, and fastest of myself, I'd ever been...for the sake of a love that ran deeper than mere loyalty.

But while I did...I wondered...Do you wonder about the things you decide for the good of others...

...Is it worth it?

Around the same time Jack was finishing his training, someone knocked on the front door and Emma heard her grandmother open it.

She lifted her head slightly and looked out the hallway.

Is it worth leaving everything behind? Everything you loved, you cherished...in order for it to survive? To be saved?

"Oh my god, E...Emma!? E-EMMA!"

Because I'm still trying to tell myself that what I did...what I did...that it can be justified...

The twelve-year-old bolted from her chair, her skin crawling and her heart in her throat.

"Grandma!? GRANDMA, WHAT'S–"

...Can it?

She skidded in her socks once she hit the hall, eyes wide and mouth falling open.

I keep hoping that one day I'll wake up and I'll feel it...that feeling I always get when I complete a successful mission, and that duty and purpose of why I'm doing it, will fulfill me...but it hasn't...for all the missions I've done...this is the ONE mission I don't believe I ever accomplished...

A man was standing in the door mentioning Jack's name. But Jack wasn't with him – and Emma's heart dropped into her stomach.

In fact...I think I failed it...and every day I can't get over it...

"G-Grams..." Emma heaved. "Grams, wh-what's he–What–"

And her grandmother turned with her hand over her mouth.

"He's gone..." she whimpered. "Jack's gone..."

Emma's breath grew ragged and her entire chest felt like something was crushing it from the inside out. Her skin prickled and she couldn't see straight. She shook her head slowly but her eyes were already wet, and her throat already dry.

"No...N-No, y-you're...He–"

Her grandma choked on a gasp and stopped her.

Because even though I'd saved them...I couldn't save myself...

"The pl-plane bringing him back from the island crashed...they–"

"They can find him, grandma!" she tried to argue. "TH-THEY CAN FIND HIM!"

"NO, EMMA THEY CAN'T! THEY TRIED! Nothing was found in the blizzard conditions and th...he..."

And she broke down and fell on her knees as covered her eyes.

I want to believe in this program, in myself...that the light I carry inside me, the one I've always had, will keep me going...

(Russian) "Have you mastered your Russian yet?"

"..."

"Jack?"

"It is a requirement of the program...I had to."

"Da...You are ready then."

A 22-year old Jack was stepping into a glass pod in only his swimming trunks.

"Okay Jack...you've completed all the tests, all your training and your vitals are at peak physical condition."

He had a hard look on his face remembering the last conversation he had before he stepped into the room. He'd been injected with the gene a half hour earlier.

"What happens now?"

"My grandson...My baby, h...h-he's gone!"

Emma couldn't breathe and that tight band that had always been around her chest, though small and wistful every time Jack was away, nearly killed her.

"No...N-No...NOO!"

But I can't really remember where that light is...not anymore...

And she ran to her grandma and she kept screaming. "NO! NOOOOO!"

And she sobbed and cried, heavy and loud as she and her grandma held each other.

"H-H...He...H-He sa...He said he'd come..."

Jack lied down at the bottom of the capsule and watched as the scientists came in. They covered his mouth with a breather and sealed him in.

"You'll go to sleep. Then you'll be floating as the gene is administered."

"...How long does it take?"

"It all depends on you...once the mutation is a success, your vitals will alert of your increasing heartbeat and we'll know when to get you out."

"..."

"You ready?"

"I don't have a choice...but yeah, I am."

"Alright, when you get up, Jack, be ready. Everything will change."

Maybe my light changed...along with the purpose inside me...

"He'd said co-come back! H-HE *SOB* HE SAID HE'D COME BAAACK!"

Jack then felt the anaesthesia choke him and he fell into a deep sleep.

As his brown, maple-coloured eyes shut for the last time, the pod started to fill itself with blue liquid. It filled to the top until Jack was floating inside. At first nothing happened. Jack's skin just shivered and prickled with goosebumps from the cold water and his muscles tightened in response. But eventually his body adjusted to the temperature and he relaxed in his sleep.

An hour later, the Center Gene stimulant was injected into the stream and floated around him. The gene went into their physiology and swam through their biological makeup, and searched each chromosome until it found one suitable DNA strand to attach to. When it did, then Jack's physical attributes rewrote themselves and his appearance started to change.

And his body started to react.

I came out a new person...I was physically stronger...and I didn't want for a lot of things...

Jack floated in his capsule, in the Genesis chamber of the Core, with four other agents also sleeping during their rebirth.

My gene made sure I didn't need to control people to get the job done...I could do missions that didn't depend on others, more just my wit and elusiveness...

The blue liquid was designed to slow down any advanced mutation and Jack's body eased itself into accepting Jack's sudden mutation. For days, he floated in the pod asleep and unaware. His fingers twitched, his skin started to bleach and his hair slowly went from brown to white. Sometimes when the scientists went to check on him, they'd find his eyes slightly opened like he was seeing something or dreaming – but that was normal.

It also gave them the chance to see his eye colour change, since that was the most common mutation of the agents.

In silent awe, they watched his earthy, brown eyes blur into a soft, dark blue before he'd shut them close again and fall back asleep.

Several times they worried he was experiencing hypothermia since his skin was paling so much but when they tried to turn up the temperature to match his accommodations, his body panicked.

So they lowered it until his heartbeat was regular...the temperature was 74 degrees Fahrenheit. Jack's normal body temperature was lower than most agents. It also meant that he had to stay in the pod longer than other agents...almost a week in fact.

But the elements were my constant ally and I was sent to the Winter division for missions that took place in colder climates...and where the North wind was strongest...

"Hey," one scientist called. "What's he doing?"

They watched Jack's hands flex in the water and something an underwater current started to churn. At first they thought his center had control over the water but then–

"Oh!" one woman squealed.

The pod started to mist over with cold vapour and they moved immediately to wipe it off. But as they did, they saw the hot breath in Jack's mask grew considerably less until it was a tiny puff. Cold air started to sweep around them like it was trying to get to him.

So they backed away.

But they wrote it down, amazed and happy.

When Jack woke up and they explained to him what my Center gene could do, he freaked out and backed away into a table. And as his hand caught a beam nearby for support, he sent a flourish of frost spread up it like a beautiful design.

"H-How did I do that?" Jack whispered shakily as he touched it in wonder. Then his fingers twitched a breeze threw his new white bangs up.

I could've been anything or anyone...but I chose this.

"And here," his handler later gave the newly-reborn Jack (who'd finished all his combat training by then) a retractable staff to match his pacifist combat style.

"This is mine?" Jack gasped as he swung it expertly.

"You like, huh?" his facilities agent grinned. "With your gene, you can use it as conduit to create a tiny air current when you swing it! Try!"

Jack took a step back and did four wrist rolls, front and back and was surprised by how much can control he was able to make in the wind. When a long piece of the air followed him, he swiped the staff sideways and let the wind slice a little piece in the wooden desk next to them.

"That's incredible!" he gaped...but then he raised an eyebrow and grasped the hook at the end of the staff.

"But what's with this hook at the end?" Jack asked curiously. "How is this effective?"

"Trust me it will be. The crook facilitates recovery of fallen people and animals and can ensnare their necks or legs."

Jack looked at him again. "You're serious."

And the agent smiled. "You know, in old time's, the Sheppard's crook was a symbol for care, for farmers and pioneers, really. You should think about that."

Jack smirked back gently. It wasn't hard to put two-and-two together: care + GUARDIAN = ironic.

But did that philosophy still hold?

I remember I swore to Damon that I only ever wanted to BE a protector...to guard people...and the GUARDIANs, that's what they did...but not in the passive methods I yearned for...

GUARDIANs went on the most dangerous missions to protect the world from terrorists...and that's what I was surrounded by for the next two years of my life...

---

Over the course of two years as a GUARDIAN...

---

A 23-year old Jack was in the debrief room getting a review from a commanding officer...he remembered his loud voice, his short white, beard and his thick Russian accent. Nicolas, he was called, he was in charge of overseeing many agents in one cluster. Jack only saw him back then as another face, another hand to grip in the fight against criminals.

Sure, we went on plenty of team-oriented missions...

Jack heard a scream and looked behind the stack of drugs...he saw a little girl and her mother cowering in the corner of the boat, dirty and scared. He looked around wildly for the trafficker.

When he and his team spotted him, Jack narrowed his eyes.

"You're ours, tonight," he growled. Then he and the four of them rushed forward.

And many times, I was more than happy to run my knife through someone who I think deserved it...

"Argh!"

Jack said nothing and twisted up the knife into the kingpin as he slouched over the brunette silently.

But most of the time, I was alone...with my thoughts...and my guilt...

"No, please, please!"

Jack didn't blink...and he pulled the trigger.

I grew more ruthless...more reclusive...and without anyone to talk to, I bottled it up...like the real spy...like an elite operative should...

"Wh-Who is he, is the one who called the hit?"

Jack stood there staring at them from the other end of the hall.

"No! But how did he get past–"

His mouth was a thin line and he didn't say a word. The second they blinked, his silhouette vanished.

"Wait, where'd he go?"

Jack watched the two security chiefs point their guns in the darkness. Their heart beats increased.

69 bpm...84 bpm...108 bpm...

"Dammit where'd that bastard vanish off to?"

Twelve feet...six feet...three feet.

"I don't...I didn't know...Wh-WHO ARE YOU?! WHO A–"

Jack slipped down over the ceiling vent, grabbed both sides of his head and snapped his neck.

"CRACK!"

Then dropping quickly, he pressed the button on his retractable in his left hand until the sharp end extended. With a graceful but violent twist, he pulled up from the ground swiftly and drove the length of his staff into the other chief.

"G-Gah...Huhh..."

Jack's face was dead cold steel.

He said nothing, saw nothing, as he shoved the guy into the wall and watched the light leave his eyes from the barred window. When he slumped, Jack pulled out his weapon and dashed away, wiping the blood on his pants.

I felt my personality change...because my priorities outside the mission were gone...I had no priorities outside my missions...so the bloodlust was constant...

Jack was with his team of snipers on top of the building. They were watching their target talk with two others until Jack narrowed his eyes.

"Mil-dots accurate?" he murmured as his sniper adjusted his scope.

"Affirmative," the guy answered. Jack was their team leader so he had to even though the situation was tight.

"Alright, take the shot when you're ready," Jack breathed then pulled back up into a stand.

He did nothing when ten seconds later, the bang from their rifle sounded. Their target fell dead on the ground.

"Ok team, punch it!" he ordered. "We've got twelve CSIS agents to save!"

And they all dispersed.

But the spies protected the citizens, and the GUARDIANs? ...We protected the spies...

"Help, call for backup!"

Jack swooped in to help the Greek Minister of National Defence.

He and his partner drove their knives into the head of the kidnappers.

But where spies see the product of their success...the smiles and relief of the people they save, the kind I missed seeing...We were left the scrapes and bruises of the criminals who made their tortures worse...who made people's suffering more profound.

"Cry for me! CRY!"

And Jack had to watch the video of the spies being tortured in order to understand the nature of the criminal in order to find him.

Eventually he'd watched so many of them that he didn't even flinch anymore.

He watched brutal killings, and heard horrific conversations with a blank look and a steady heartbeat.

The more I saw...the more I...the more I didn't want to share with anyone...or myself...

Jack and his team didn't say anything as they went back home to Buffalo.

They were tired and Jack's earlier bout of encouragement when they were flying over to arrive was all gone. This mission left him quieter than he normally wanted to feel.

They'd seen fifty-eight bodies dumped and he couldn't stomach that they had to go sleep on this.

And it all went steadily downhill, no matter how hard he tried to put a smile on his face or joke between his lips.

I was scared but I didn't want to say it...I regretted it but I didn't want to feel it...because every time I doubted myself and wanted to run, I thought of Emma and what they'd do...and what I'd done...

And I think that's where I started to hate myself.

"Jack's waking up! He's waking up!" they said when Jack's mutation was finally over.

The day Jack's pod heart monitor start to beat wildly, the scientists all grew giddy. They were always excited for the agents when they woke up to see what abilities they'd gained from their genes – almost as excited as most of the agents. Because unlike Jack, most GUARDIANs were asked to join if they performed top notch as regulars – they didn't know or had to uncover Project GUARDIAN's little secrets and sacrifice themselves to join it. Not counting the 'you must never speak with anyone from your old life again part' but that was normally met with a lot of time to think on, time Jack wasn't given because he threatened to expose everyone and they threatened to kill him if he did.

I wondered what she'd think of me for running...Would she call me a coward? Would she call me liar?

"Where's the agent?"

"In the freezer...been there for two hours at a temperature of –43 degrees Celsius. See?"

On the freezer cam they saw Jack just squatting on the ground of the ice box with a blank look. He wasn't shivering or anything and without a shirt on, just absorbing the cold into his skin, was even more impressive to them.

Would she get mad and tell me I had people I promised to protect?...Would she even want to see me?

Would I...Did I even want to see her?

"Are you sure he's waking up?"

"Yes! His pod just beeped! I think his rebirth is over!"

The scientist with the short beard and glasses saw him open his eyes first. He opened the pod and reached in to grab Jack's hand for support. Jack was so tired and his body felt weird – he felt like he'd woken up in someone else's skin and was wearing it.

I let this company take over me, take over my life, and destroy the one I left behind...I was pronounced dead a year ago, and I was sure if I ever went back to Burgess, I wouldn't be able to handle a plot next to my parents and the tombstone with my name on it that I knew was there...

Besides...who'd want the warm big brother you lost, come back from the dead as an emotionally empty and violent killer?

Months later, 23-year-old Jack was on another GUARDIAN mission. He would finish his reconnaissance in a few more hours, but he needed to lie down from all the stress. He went up to his hotel room and sat on his bed – but he did that several times when he was away and alone on missions.

...So I shut it out...and I shut it all off...

Jack looked around the room in a daze. The raining outside was pouring hard and its pitter-patter was driving a headache into his brain.

I'd seen the worst in humanity...and I couldn't let the fears of my future and the fears of my past affect my performance...Or then I'd lose more people...

At the exact same time, Emma was sitting her bed looking up at the twenty-two snow globes that sat on the shelf across from her. The rain in Burgess was heavy that night and while she liked listening to it, it only reminded her of all the tears she wasn't done crying.

I'd become a new monster that killed people...

Her lip started to quiver.

"J-Jack..."

She then fisted her blanket and cried.

I knew I could never go back to her...

Jack stared out the window. He imagined Emma screaming if he walked through their front door with his pale skin, white hair, and cold eyes.

"Jack..." Emma heaved. "Ja...J-wh-why did y'...W-Why did leave me too?"

I didn't want to anyway. Not after all the regret I felt.

Emma would scream, loud and terrified at the sight of him and the way he treated himself.

He couldn't bear it. Not when she was still alive, rebuilding their home, and her heart...at least he hoped.

And Jack couldn't take it.

His eyes stung behind his contacts and he dropped his head into his hands – his breath shuddered and his shoulders shook.

I never knew what happened to Emma or my grandmother...they wouldn't let me make any sort of contact...No one would help me.

But then, no one could help themselves either.

When he awoke from the rebirth and returned to his linguistics training and physio over the next few weeks. And for his final test, Jack had to learn Луна and everything about oath's that GUARDIANs stood by.

He studied hard and practised best he since it was most complicated language he'd ever seen in his life.

But the Center gene somehow made his memory longer and his learning skills more advanced. He was fluent within in the month.

Then in order to pass...he had to figure out the maze to the Judgement Room.

But he got it, he recited the oath at the final door.

"Greenya undovo aeyt remska det ienoveen ana nuaskvo," Jack mumbled shakily as his fingers twitched. When the Antechamber opened and the wind followed him into the Judgement Room for the second and last time, Jack lifted his snowy-white hair with nervousness.

In those last moments, walking through that door, I thought Emma running up that hill like she always did...

His gene prickled and frost appeared at his boots as the wind snapped down. It dropped the temperature in the water vapour around him.

I remembered the sunlight that blinded me, always giving her a head start...and in my head, that was her sanctuary...I'd always watch her run into the light where it was safe, where I knew her future was waiting for her...

Jack had this foreboding feeling, he felt this aura looming up ahead. Jack threw his dark, blue eyes up at the only high desk in the crescent-shaped room.

TSAR LUNAR was the only one present in the room.

He sat with his entire body in shadow so Jack couldn't see.

But Jack couldn't say a word. He instead frowned and stood in the center of the room until the mysterious man gave him his codename.

He twirled his staff in one hand and looked down at the ice he'd created at his feet.

He thought he'd have to stand that way in silence for hours.

But then...

The rod across the room start to blinking. Jack look at it then back at the man still sitting silently. It was over? But he hadn't told him his codename yet.

Regardless, Jack took the rod back up to the Core. And when he got there, he was met with the head access agent of the GUARDIAN program and several fully-fledged GUARDIANs.

"But I don't understand," Jack said as his forehead creased. "He didn't give me my codename yet."

"No, he did. Jackson."

She was my last light then...

"Bretyam Shad...He said you were Codename...JACK FROST...Welcome to Project GUARDIAN."

The 22-year-old (back then) rubbed his neck as the agents around the Core clapped.

Afterwards, the GUARDIAN tech analysts listening in uploaded his new identity into all the banks, all the data, and all the files they had in the company, and the board was notified straight away.

But I still feel it...with every step and every bone in my body...I feel regret for a choice that was never mine.

And I felt it...up until the day I walked in for my last check-up.

Then I lost it...I lost her...I lost everything...all over again.

...

"A-AH!"

Jack slipped on the ice and fell.

"JACK!"

Toothiana tried to reach for his arm but Jack landed on the ice anyway. It made a little crack under him but not deep enough to make any effect.

To Tooth though, she thought it would break through and she freaked out, scrambling down to him.

"Wh-What h–"

Jack was panting heavily, and sweat was trickling down his neck. A puff of air left his shaky lips.

"My god..." he whispered. "O-Oh my god..."

Jack threw his hands up to cover his face and gritted his teeth.

Tooth was instantly panicking and was holding him by his arms. She shook her head.

"What's wrong, J...H...No, I'm right here. Y-You take a second, okay Jack?" she mumbled. And he sat up on the ice and bent his head a little.

Tooth moved her hands from him and rubbed his back instead.

"Ar-Are you okay?"

"No," he sighed. "...but I...b-but I finally remember..."

He then dropped his hands and look ahead of him. Tooth saw his blue, arctic eyes glassy and distant.

She thought he would have rejoiced...but he looked sad. When she was about to ask, he beat her to it and shook his head.

"I–"

"Haaa! Hahahaha!"

They both froze.

Tooth craned her neck worriedly and snapped her neck to the left. They heard the laugh coming from the bottom of the hill.

"Oh no!" she whispered. "We sh-should hide!"

And she grabbed Jack's sleeve.

"Come on! Let's find a spot!"

Jack nodded and got up. But his face was stuck and his heart was pounding under his jacket.

He even shook slightly and let Tooth guide him.

"Let's lay down behind this giant–"

"No, wait!"

Before Tooth could say anything, Jack grabbed her around the waist and pulled her down behind a large stone covered in snow – it was shadowed by the trees, and the braches far ahead were thick so no one could make out their faces.

But still gave them clear view of who was walking up the hill.

The visitor though wasn't walking up the hill – in fact, the visitors were walking around it, passing sideways at the frontline of the forest to go somewhere else.

"Why're they up so early?" Tooth whispered shakily as she and Jack leaned close to each other and peeked over the stone to watch the two teenagers walking.

"..."

"Hm? Why'd you think so?"

And Jack's breath was shallow and his lips were quivering.

"Because..." he whispered, "Because that's what we always did on Christmas morning..."

"That's what w..." Tooth breathed. She looked at him with wide eyes. "What?"

And Jack didn't blink, didn't move.

He only stared, and for all his hard demeanour, he cracked like a broken shield and his heart nearly stopped in his chest.

"Th...T-That's Emma..."

A girl that looked about fourteen was walking with a taller boy. But even from a distance, and in what little sunrise there was, he recognised her instantly.

Jack and Tooth didn't say a word as the two teenagers walked through the snow.

They kept their eyes on the two until the two heads turned abruptly and walked back down the hill far back to the neighbourhood in the distance.

But Tooth didn't hear him.

As she continued watching unaware, Jack started to shake.

Something overtook him, the same thing that he'd been suppressing for years.

And in his waking fear, two tears slipped down his cheeks.

---

Chapter's soundtrack: "She is the Sunlight" – Trading Yesterday (Jack and Emma's official song)

The biggest chapter in the story is now over! Hooray! *throws self out of window* I was scared for months that I'd never get here or even be able to write it - but I did it in five days and I'm super proud! Haha so I hoped you guys enjoyed it (and survived). I used a line from 007: Casino Royale and Good Will Hunting (I disclaim!). If you know them, you're awesome. (: And oh, pop quiz! What's Custos in Latin? And for additional points, what's Tooth's school, Fay University, Latin for? (: As well, consequentialism is a legit study of philosophy I had to study last year – but I summed it up in like, one line for you so it made sense haha. Oh and the song Jack and Em sing in the beginning is an old Italian song called 'Funiculi, Funicula' – you'll recognise it if you hear it but I just imagine Jack being a goofball with her.

I made Jack's parents' deaths as ambiguous as possible. I'm not even sure how they could've died but it involved a disappearance, a state police search, and the arrest of four men. Think on that however you want ):

Now take a break guys! You deserve it. Jack's legacy will change in the next chapter. What does that mean? Rest first jeez lol.