Orochimaru smiled at Anko and she decided it wouldn't be a waste to smile back.
She was civilized and she could behave around her insane, cruel teacher.
Anko was stronger for it—she could shout that with confidence.
She could inflict pain feeling nothing now. She could endure pain indescribable in its horrors. She could withstand her sensei's killing intent much better than her teammates. She could help with experiments and pretend she didn't know they weren't legal.
Anko had turned into his prized student.
Hiroto Hyuuga, her teammate, fell behind in terms of how he still held back in a fight. Her relentless almost mad barrage of attacks won out nearly every time their teacher pitted them against each other. It would have been scary, had it not been for the ruthless way she hurt the civilian one. His name was Sei Takuya and he was pathetic in her eyes. She wanted to make him see.
Always sniveling after Orochimaru's affection, he had fallen prey to the hand that fed him—a mindless follower. He was like her in that he did whatever was asked of him by their teacher. But she was different.
Anko had not fallen for it.
At the age of eleven, she was so close to the promotion that would take her out of his reach. She just had to prove herself in the next Chuunin Exams. She just had to beat them down, and showcase her abilities. Her fast and growing abilities.
She was still fighting against fate. She was still trying—even when her entire soul wanted to give up. What's the big deal if it happened? Anko had been able to survive, so she would be able to do it too.
It was futile and a fear as old as her. What would the seal do to her? How would it affect her? Her doubts, her fear, she didn't know what else to do with them but try and avoid what had become the scariest thought to her.
It was the reason Anko worked so hard. It was the only reason she had done such awful things.
Anko wanted to live, and she had no idea why.
(She had been so young. She had been so young and stupid.)