The meeting hadn't gone well.

She didn't know what that fucker had done to her but it was starting to feel like she was really splintering. She felt like vomiting.

"Are you okay?" Kakashi asked and it must have been unconsciously, but he began to stroke her hair. It was calming, grounding in the way that reminded her of less confusing times.

But was she okay? No.

"I went and saw the Yamanaka about getting my memory back to the way it was," she admitted quietly, sitting on the sofa with her legs pulled up to her chin. It was all in the hopes that if it came down to it, she could hold herself in with just her arms if she had to. Nothing was getting out of her without a fight.

He went silent but kept carding her hair with his fingers. She didn't have the heart in her to tell him to stop.

"He said that there's a lot of things wrong with me and that not all of it can be fixed. I may never be...I may not be able to return to be the Anko you loved."

Admitting it out loud was even harder than having to think it but she said it anyway. Bowing her head and hiding her expression with her knees pressed firmly to her forehead, Anko willed herself not to cry and she didn't.

"That's not something you have to worry about," he murmured quietly.

But I do.

Maybe it was just because she was lonely inside her head all day. Maybe it was because she unknowingly missed him. Or maybe it was because of her own selfish desire not to suffer like she was. It didn't matter why in the end. Just that she knew there had been better days and knew that she wasn't the only one who missed them.

"Anko," he said softly, pausing his hand in her hair, "As long as it's you...I'll..."

"We're married," she stated flatly, "and I think even you want your wife returned to you."

He sucked in a breath but seconds later, he sighed. She tried to prepare herself for his next words to hurt but with how she was at the moment, none of that seemed to be working.

"Perhaps it's wrong of me but," Kakashi pulled away with a sigh and as her heart sunk to her toes, she looked up to see him looking at his hand sheepishly. "It's probably a little like cheating but...I'm really enjoying myself. Falling in love with you again, that is. It's not unsimilar to the first time and though you're not exactly the same as you were, it's still you. It's still Anko Mitarashi. My girlfriend. My wife. Maybe even the mother of my children."

She tried not to feel happy at the words and failed miserably.

"Is that another surprise?" she asked, at a loss for honest words, "You have a kid you've been hiding from me?"

"Only if it's one you've been hiding."

"Hm," she sung to herself.

Somehow, she was not as splintered as she had been before.

"Tonight too," she whispered instead, tired of fighting.

He smiled at that but in a way, it was painful to look at him.

"As always, you swallow me whole in everything you do. In the end," he whispered, "you're still the same."

The same.

But who was she even being compared to?

When he kissed her, it didn't seem to matter so much anymore.