Doctors are the worst patients, so they say. Jackson would wholeheartedly disagree with that common belief. Although he wouldn't say that he was a good patient – he just locked himself in the bathroom (or bedroom, pick your poison) until it was all over without accepting any help – or that April was – she would not take a day off work since 'everyone's sick in the ER anyway' and then crash in some random on-call room until Jackson picked her up, literally, and brought her home... they weren't good patients. He wouldn't say that. But they were way worse as the parents of a patient.

One would think enduring talks as parents of the patient since before said patient was even born they would be experts by the time their son was to undergo his first major surgery. One would think they would sit down, take it all in, nod and sign the papers. One would think they wouldn't be as afraid anymore, or as hesitant. Yet here they were. And personally Jackson thought they never would be those easy going parents because no matter how many surgeries, splints, casts and braces Samuel would encounter one thing would never change: he would always remain their son, and they'd always be scared to hurt him.

"So we're talking five hours general anesthesia for each leg?"

It had surprised Jackson at first how clinical April could be when Samuel's treatment plan was in discussion. Sometimes the information she required was so explicit she could have probably jumped into the surgery herself after recieving it. Obviously she wouldn't do that, but in some way it seemed to help her cope to know exactly what was going on. So that was good. For her.

Jackson, on the other hand, found himself wishing he didn't know all he did about medicine. Wishing that he didn't know all the risks that remained marked down a notch on the Informed Consent sheet (just so explicit they couldn't be sued, but not explicit enough to know every little last risk). Most of the time he'd rather be the scared father, holding his wife's hand and asking the doctors to guide him, believing in them.

Right now, his brain was reciting all the possible brain damage risk a child of Samuel's age could suffer from undergoing a total of 10 hours under general anesthesia. Never mind bleeding problems during surgery, possible nerve damage or problems with the blood supply of the legs after surgery.

Callie nodded. "That's what Dr. Lawrence estimated based on her previous experience with cases similar to Samuel's."

Dr. Lawrence was the orthopedic surgeon specialized in OI that would be the lead surgeon on Samuel's rodding surgery. If they went through with it. Callie would be working alongside the specialist on the legs and Arizona would assist, keeping a close eye on the infant's vitals.

One leg at a time would be rodded, both tibia and femur, over the course of two days. After that Samuel would remain in a bilateral hip spica cast for four weeks. This would be followed by bracing on the tibias for another two to four weeks to help Samuel with re-mobilization. Physical therapy would be required for his arms and back while he was in the cast, and for his legs once he was out of it.

They'd been over this two times already and would go over it again if they chose to do it and had Dr. Lawrence flown in (the one time April was glad they had relatively unlimited access to money). The surgical plan, Jackson had to admit, was good. Five hours were great for what they wanted to achieve.

"And how long do you think we can go before replacing the rods?", April went on. Even though this was their second official and minimum sixth unofficial talk she still came up with questions she hoped maybe, possibly somehow would get her ready to do this. It seemed to be the best option. She wanted to do this, she wanted to- except she didn't. The risks were so high and Samuel was still so young and some kids with OI never learned to walk, maybe he was just one of them... but she didn't want to take the chance from him... if she gave it to him, though, he might never be able to walk among other things... it was just hard to decide. And God, again, didn't deem it time to give her a sign, although she desperately needed it.

"It depends", Callie said, which was not enough to satisfy the mother bear side of April, who raised an eyebrow.

"We looked at his growth chart", Arizona put in, always trying to help her friend. In some ridiculous way she felt like since she'd been their doctor she should have caught it herself, earlier than Stephanie Edwards did. It really was ridiculous. OI wasn't treatable. Catching it earlier wouldn't have changed anything. Yet she still felt like it would take her a lifetime to make up for this. "And given his current growth, which is just slightly below average as we've discussed, he shouldn't need a replacement for at least three years. It might very well even be four or five. He might be in second grade before he needs new rods."

April nodded. Talking about the future, the positive future, always helped her keep calm. "Okay. That sounds good, right, Jackson?"

She wasn't getting her sign. That was alright. Slowly, she was getting used to it. Besides she had a husband to turn to in crisis now.

The husband in question shrugged, scratched the back of his head. "Uhm, I... those telescopic rods – they don't involve any extra risks?"

"Well, since they have to be attached close to the joints, there's added risk of damage", Callie admitted. "However, Dr. Lawrence and I agree that the benefit of putting off further surgery for a couple of years is worth it. Dr. Lawrence has performed this surgery a lot of times. And I, although I've never done it on a child so little, have done my own fair share. We're confident we can do it."

"Mhh... okay." Jackson brushed his thumb over the back of April's hand, more to reassure himself than her, but it seemed to do the trick for both of them. He thought about what questions he might still have to ask. What would make sense not only to him, but to the three women in the room. "So... Sam really likes his swimming class. How soon do you think we'd be able to resume that? Can he do it until surgery?"

"Physical activity is neither en- nor discouraged prior to the procedure", Callie answered. This was not a peds question. "If his bones break the surgery should still be possible. After surgery I would say as soon as the cast is off we'll just have to see. He might be able to jump right back in, or you'll have to keep the brace on all of the time for the first week or two. At this point I really can't say."

"Okay", Jackson said for what felt like the hundredth time. Really, what else could he say? They were presented with facts. He couldn't fight them.

April didn't have any more questions either. She'd been in exchange with other parents, some of which had the surgery done by the same doctor. She knew the ins and outs. What she lacked wasn't any more knowledge. She lacked her sign.

The silence continued until Arizona spoke. "So. What do you say?"

Jackson turned his head to face April and their eyes met in what he thought was silent understanding.

"We need a day to think about." - "We're doing it", they said at the same time looking at their surgeons.

"What?"

"I... I just want to be sure", Jackson explained in a voice that sounded anything but sure.

April inhaled, nodded. "That's okay", she reassured him, repeating the circling thumb motion he'd previously done. Maybe he needed a sign, too. "We can think about it for a day... right?"

Callie nodded. "Yeah, absolutely. Weeks if you want to, I just wouldn't recommend to put it off for too long... Let me just print out the papers for you, so you can look them over."

Although April was sure she didn't need those papers, she didn't discourage her friend/baby's surgeon. She thought it would be nice for Jackson to have them, maybe talk to his mother about them. Miraculously, their relationship had improved since Samuel's birth. He often turned to her for help now, although mostly over facetime. Sometimes he'd ask Catherine before even considering asking his wife first. From heating up a bottle to surgery plans.

"Thank you", April replied, squeezing her husband's hand. "That would be nice."

Their goodbyes were short-lived. Both of the couples had a kid to come home to. Or, rather collect from daycare. While Sophia was quite used to spending her day there it was completely new to baby Avery, who'd just spent his first full day last week.

When their nanny told Jackson and April she'd move to Spain to open a bar with her holiday fling they had been more shocked than anything. They supported her choice, of course. Her contract was a monthly deal. Legally, they had nothing on her. And even if they had it wouldn't have helped them. They couldn't force Hannah to be happy with staying.

"If she isn't happy I don't think she should be taking care of him anyway", April had said. "That's not fair to either of them."

So, Hannah left and they were back to square one. Given their previous experience of a nine month search starting prior to birth for a nanny of their standards, Jackson eventually convinced April to give daycare a try. It wasn't the same, but sharing lunchtime with their son was a huge plus. Besides, it was their only current choice if they both wanted to stay working.

"This is going to be difficult", April sighed, her arm wrapped around his waist as they walked.

Jackson raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"Well, if we choose do go through with the surgery", she replied stressing the if, "He won't be able to recover at daycare. So we'll have to take time off. And Hunt is leaving for the military so soon. The ER's gonna be a mess with neither of us there." She chuckled, but it didn't sound happy.

"We can always ask your mom-"

"No. No, we really can't. My dad..." Her eyes wandered off as she worried her lower lip. "I think he's gotten worse. He didn't have a drop of alcohol when they visited for Sam's birthday. I've never seen him eat dinner without a beer before. I think they just didn't say anything because they think we've got enough on our plates already..."

The frown on her face worried Jackson. He kissed her forehead hoping to make it go away. She shouldn't be getting her first worry lines at thirty-one. Of course, her father's help was a good reason to worry. Joe Kepner pretended like he was all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed even after he suffered a stroke (something both Jackson and April still felt a bit guilty about since it happened only short of a month after their impomptu wedding). As doctors they knew better. They were cautious. Even though Jackson appreciated his parents-in-law's decision to take some weight off their daughter's shoulders, this was obviously not the way. Not knowing to April equaled feeling helpless. She already had one man in her mind she constantly felt that way about. No need to add another.

"Okay. Not your mom. Then maybe my mom..."

April shook her head. "I don't know... Maybe for a week, at the end of recovery. Right in the beginning, though? I'd rather work carrying him around all day with me than having him with someone who's basically still a stranger to him - no offense."

"None taken", Jackson shrugged. His mother had been strangely uninvolved in her grandson's physical life so far. Although she was willing to help Jackson solve little issues on the phone she only ever came when they invited her, never on impulse. He'd like to think she'd grown out of butting in on their lives unexpectedly and wanted to give them space, but since she hadn't neglected spontaneous visits at work he knew something else was up. Work and life got him too exhausted to pick a fight, however, so for now he wasn't figuring this out.

They reached the daycare. The sudden loss of April's arm on his back as she dashed off to get their baby while Jackson signed him out left the young father painfully aware of how much he'd needed just this touch right now. She always kept him calm when his mind wouldn't, even if she didn't notice doing so. Especially, if she didn't notice.

He immediately put his arm back around her when she reached him with their son.

"Hey, baby", he cooed at Samuel, who was looking at him with huge blue eyes. The poor, little guy didn't even know what was about to hit him soon.

Apparently, Jackson's gaze had been obviously wistful. April noticed right away, in any case. She took a hand off their son to touch her husband's arm. "Hey... everything's gonna be alright, yeah? I've got you."

All Jackson could do was trust his wife.

A/N: This fic just hit 5k views, which I'm very excited about given how long it has been on here. Thank you for that :) &the follows, favourites and reviews, of course.

So... the total lack of Japril (or April, for that matter) in 13*17? Unacceptable. I'll just assume she's in Chicago with Catherine right now, but still. This must have been one of the most boring episodes I've ever watched. Omelia is basically Japril 2.0 (she runs, he's angry; and different views on having children), Merthan had absolutely no development, and Maggie can't put anyone first. Just. Ugh. I hope next week's better.
So, I contemplated writing another, more hopeful chapter first, but I didn't get to it and I'm going somewhere with this chapter, so it stuck. I love them clinging to one another in crisis, though. Don't you?